Höre anderen empathisch [zugewandt und freundlich] zu.
Verbinde dich empathisch mit anderen, ehe du sie informierst [erklärst, erziehst].
Formuliere klare Bitten, stelle keine Forderungen.
Höre die Bedürfnisse [nicht die Wünsche] und Gefuehle, die den Gedanken zugrundeliegen.
Überhöre die Gedanken, gehe nicht auf Erwartungen von anderen ein.
Gehe keine Kompromisse ein.
Alle Bedürfnisse können erfüllt werden. Die Bedürfnisse der Mitmenschen können ohne dich erfüllt werden.
Niemand ist falsch [niemand hat unrecht].
Niemand kann die schmerzlichen Gefühle eines anderen verursachen.

Quelle: Videoseminar (engl.) von und mit Marshall B. Rosenberg, US-amerikanischer Psychologe, Begründer und Förderer der Gewaltlosen Kommunikationsmethode, zum Thema The Basics of Non Violent Communication [Die Grundlagen der GfK], YouTube Film, eingestellt 5. April 2010

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Vergewaltigungsstatistik in Deutschland

In Deutschland sind rund 90% der Opfer von Sexualdelikten Frauen, 10% Männer.

In Deutschland finden täglich etwa 400 Vergewaltigungen statt. [Stand 2005]¹
13% der Frauen und Mädchen zwischen 16-85 Jahren in Deutschland haben sexualisierte Gewalt erlebt, die nach der engen juristischen Definition als Straftat gilt.²
14,5 Prozent aller Frauen wurden mindestens einmal im Leben Opfer eines sexuellen Übergriffs. Deutschland, Stand 1995³
15 bis 25 Prozent aller Frauen werden mindestens einmal im Lauf ihres Lebens vergewaltigt.⁴ und ⁵

Es gibt insgesamt 5,33 Millionen erwachsene weibliche Opfer von Sexualdelikten in Deutschland.
Jährlich kommt es zu 70.000 bis 140.000 Vergewaltigungen in Deutschland, die zu knapp 10 % angezeigt werden.⁶

Es wurden rund 8000 sexuelle Straftaten jährlich angezeigt. [BRD, Stand 2004]
- Es wurden rund 7000 (versuchte) Vergewaltigungen jährlich angezeigt. [BRD, Stand 1981]⁷
Rund 1000 (13%) der angezeigten Sexualstraftäter wurden verurteilt. [BRD, Stand 2004]
- Rund 700 (10%) der angezeigten Sexualstraftäter wurden verurteilt. [BRD, Stand 1981]

Laut Dunkelfeldstudien ist die Anzahl der Opfer von sexuellen Kindesmissbrauch erheblich. Nur ca. 10% der angezeigten Fälle enden mit einer Verurteilung. (Deutschland, Stand 2010)

Ca. 8000 Anzeigen von Vergewaltigung und sexueller Nötigung erfolgen jährlich in Deutschland. (Stand: Deutschland, 1. Jahrzehnt, Drittes Jahrtausend)

Von ca. 8000 Anzeigen gibt es jährlich 1040 verurteilte Täter. (Zeitraum: 2001-2006)
- 7511 Fälle von Vergewaltigung oder schwerer sexueller Nötigung wurden angezeigt. Deutschland, deutsche Polizeistatistik, 2007
- Die Verurteilungsquote ca. 13% – in Fällen von Vergewaltigung und sexueller Nötigung.
Es kommt jährlich zu 1365 Anklagen / Gerichtsverhandlungen mit insgesamt 1053 Verurteilungen. (Stand: Deutschland, 2006)
- Bei ca. 77% der verhandelten Sexualdeliktsfällen wurde der Täter verurteilt.⁸

Aufkärungsquote von sexuellen Gewaltverbrechen: 83% (Zeitraum: 2007 und 2006)

Bei ca. 6640 von 8000 Anzeigen ist der Täter ermittelbar.
- Von 7.475 der Vergewaltigung Verdächtigen waren 98,8 % männlich und 1,2 % weiblich.
  Der Anteil deutscher Tatverdächtiger beträgt 69,4%, der der ausländischen Verdächtigen 30,6%. Deutschland, 2004
Ca. 1360 = 17% der Anzeigen sind nicht strafverfolgbar, da kein Tatverdächtiger (Fremdtäter) ermittelt werden kann.
- Gemessen an den ermittelten Tatverdächtigen, liegt die Verurteilungsquote bei ca. 15,7% (statt 13%), wenn 1040 Tatverdächtige verurteilt wurden.

In Deutschland kommt es jährlich zu rund 3 Prozent Falschbezichtigungen bei sexuellen Straftaten.⁹

Ca. 240 der in Deutschland angezeigten Sexualstrafdelikte jährlich sind bewusste Falschverdächtigungen.
Gegen 4,8% der „Opfer“ bzw. Anzeigenden wurde wegen des Straftatbestands der falschen Verdächtigung ermittelt, meist ohne dass der Ausgang der Ermittlungen bekannt gegeben wurde.¹⁰

Weltweit

Weltweit werden mindestens eine von drei Frauen und Mädchen im Lauf ihres Lebens geschlagen oder sexuell missbraucht.¹¹
Rund 39 % aller Frauen werden mindestens einmal in ihrem Leben Opfer sexueller Gewalt.¹²

Ein sexuelles Gewaltverbrechen anzuzeigen und vor Gericht zu bringen, bedeutet, das Trauma wieder zu durchleben. (Retraumatisierung)
2% der Anzeigen von Sexualdelikten sind Falschbezichtigungen.
Sobald sich das Opfer auf den Weg der öffentlichen Instanzen begibt, kann der Prozess heilsam sein.
Debbie Fox, Oregon Coalition against domestic and sexual violence [Koalition gegen häusliche und sexuelle Gewalt, Oregon, USA], Audio of Al Gore sex assault victim released, YouTube film, 2:00 minutes duration, posted 25. Juni 2010

Hätte ich eine Tochter und sie würde vergewaltigt, ich würde ihr abraten zur Polizei zu gehen. Für die Frau ist das eine Tortur. [...] Meine berufliche Erfahrung lehrt: Letztlich zahlen die Frauen immer die Zeche. Hans-Jürgen Karge (69) deutscher Ex-Generalstaatsanwalt, Talkshow Der Fall Kachelmann – Justiz-Alltag oder Promi-Pranger?, ARD-Sendung Anne Will, Gastgeberin Anne Will zum „Justizfall Jörg Kachelmann“, Minute 47, 58:54 Minuten Dauer, 1. August 2010

Zwischen 70 000 und 140 000 Vergewaltigungen geschehen nach Schätzungen von Kriminologen pro Jahr in der Bundesrepublik, angezeigt wird allenfalls jede zehnte. Vergewaltigung. Mord an der Seele, Spiegel, 3. August 1981

Mythos: Falschbezichtigungen bei Vergewaltigungen

Entgegen bestehender Stereotype sind Falschanschuldigungen bei Vergewaltigung eher selten (Anteil von 3% in Deutschland; in den anderen europäischen Ländern zwischen 1-9%). Frauennotruf Hamburg

Mythos: Wunsch nach Vergewaltigung

Der Bielefelder Soziologe Rolf Butzmühlen errechnete aus den Zahlen einer Kinsey-Befragung [ca. 1980] von 7789 Frauen, dass nicht einmal 0,7 Prozent aller Interviewten von Vergewaltigung träumten.
Kinsey interpretierte, dass es sich eher um Alpträume handelt als um etwas, das der Frau im Schlafen oder im Wachen willkommen wäre. Vergewaltigung. Mord an der Seele, Der Spiegel, Ausgabe 32, 3. August 1981

Die Studie eines Forscherteams der Londoner Metropolitan University zeigt außerdem, dass falsche Beschuldigungen nur ein Randproblem sind. «Entgegen der weit verbreiteten Stereotype, wonach die Quote der Falschanschuldigungen bei Vergewaltigungen beachtlich ist, liegt der Anteil bei nur drei Prozent. Auch in anderen Ländern ist das Problem Falschanschuldigung marginal und rangiert zwischen 1 bis 9 Prozent», fanden die Wissenschaftlerinnen Corinna Seith, Joanna Lovett und Liz Kelly heraus. «Wie wollen Sie authentisch sein?» Bei einem Strafverfahren wegen Vergewaltigung hängt die Anklage oft an einem seidenen Faden. Entscheidend ist die Glaubwürdigkeit des Opfers., präsentiert von 20min.ch/news, Susanne Gabriel, AP, 5. September 2010

Häufigkeit und Ablauf von Vergewaltigungen

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Südafrikas schockierender Vergewaltigungsrekord

Vergewaltigungsstatistiken belegen, dass Südafrika die höchste Vergewaltigungsrate der Welt aufweist.
Für eine in Südafrika geborene Frau ist es wahrscheinlicher, im Lauf ihres Lebens vergewaltigt zu werden als lesen zu lernen.

Eine Studie des Medical Research Councils (veröffentlicht im Juni 2009) befragte 1.738 Männer aus allen Bevölkerungsgruppen Südafrikas. 27,6 Prozent der befragten Männer in Südafrika bestätigten mindestens einmal in ihrem Leben eine Frau oder ein Mädchen vergewaltigt zu haben.
Drei Viertel davon gaben an, sie hätten mit weniger als 20 Jahren erstmals vergewaltigt. Beinahe jeder zehnte Vergewaltiger war zum Zeitpunkt seines ersten Verbrechens jünger als zehn Jahre. Unter den über 30-Jährigen gab es 1,9 Prozent Vergewaltiger.
Die Hälfte der Vergewaltiger gestand mehrere Vergewaltigungen ein.
Unter den Vergewaltigern, die Frauen missbraucht haben, waren 20 Prozent zum Zeitpunkt der Vergewaltigung HIV-positiv. 2,9 Prozent der Befragten gaben an, Männer oder Knaben vergewaltigt zu haben, wovon 27,8 Prozent HIV-Positiv waren.

Die südafrikanische Polizeistatistik für das Jahr 2007 notiert 36.190 Anzeigen wegen Vergewaltigung.
Im Jahr 2002 waren laut Polizeistatistik 15 Prozent aller Vergewaltigungsopfer Kinder unter 11 Jahren.

Stand 2008: Von insgesamt 23.562.600 südafrikanischen Männern sind 112.835 (0,48% der männlichen Bevölkerung) in Gefängnis, um für ein Verbrechen zu büßen.

Junge Männer sind Angehörige des gewalttätigsten Geschlechts auf Erden. Laut Kriminalstatistiken, biologischen und anthropologischen Gutachten sind junge Männer im Alter von 14-23 am gewaltgefährlichsten.

* Studie zu Vergewaltigung in Südafrika. Jeder Vierte ein Vergewaltiger, n-tv, Panorama, 19. Juni 2009
* Jeder vierte Südafrikaner ist ein Vergewaltiger, 20min.ch, 19. Juni 2009
* Die unaussprechliche Katastrophe. Vergewaltigung von Männern in Kriegsgebieten, präsenteiert von Süddeutsche, Arne Perras, Kampala, 12. Januar 2012
Bericht über Studie von US-Wissenschaftlerin Lara Stemple von der Universität Los Angeles in Kongo und Liberia
* Crime Statistics > Rapes (per capita) (most recent) by country (engl.)

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Vergewaltigungsmythen

Vergewaltigung und sexueller Missbrauch – Vorurteile und Tatsachen

Jede vierte Frau in Deutschland zwischen 16 und 85 Jahren wird wenigstens einmal in ihrem Leben von ihrem Partner oder ihrem Expartner körperlich und sexuell angegriffen.¹³

Rund 39 % aller Frauen [weltweit] werden mindestens einmal in ihrem Leben Opfer sexueller Gewalt.¹⁴
Frauen zwischen 15 und 44 Jahren sind schwerer durch sexuelle Gewalt bedroht als durch Krebs, Krieg und Autounfälle zusammen genommen.

Vergewaltigung – jegliches Eindringen in den Körper einer Person gegen ihren Willen – ist die extremste Form sexualisierter Gewalt. Sie missachtet das sexuelle Selbstbestimmungsrecht der Frau und ist Ausdruck männlicher Übermacht durch Unterwerfung und Demütigung von Frauen und Mädchen.

Eine Studie zur Vergewaltigungsmythenakzeptanz¹⁵ ergab, dass es gesamtgesellschaftlich eine relativ hohe Akzeptanz von Vergewaltigungsmythen gibt.
818 Befragten wurde ein Fragebogen nach Gerd Bohners 20-Punkte-Vergewaltigungsmythenakzeptanzskala (VMAS) vorgelegt. Die Ergebnisse sind:

Männer glauben stärker an Vergewaltigungsmythen als Frauen.
Ältere und weniger gebildete MitbürgerInnen glauben stärker an Vergewaltigungsmythen als jüngere.

Die gesamtgesellschaftliche Aufgabe besteht darin

Sexuelle Gewalt gegen Frauen und Mädchen NICHT als Kavaliersdelikt zu bagatellisieren,
ihre körperlichen und psychologischen Folgen in der Frauenheilkunde zu berücksichtigen und
vergewaltigten Frauen und Männern KEINE Mitschuld bei sexuellen Gewaltverbrechen zuzuschreiben.¹⁶

#	Fehleinschätzung	T A T S A C H E
1.	Vis-haud-ingrata-Theorie / Typ C – Eine Vergewaltigung ist aggressiver Geschlechtsverkehr. Manche Frauen empfinden ihn als "luststeigernd" oder als besonders "männlich".	Vergewaltigung ist eine existenzielle Bedrohung, kein sexueller Akt. Sie ist ein massiver Angriff auf die psychische und physische Integrität der missbrauchten Person.
2.	Abwehrtheorie / Typ C – Frauen und Mädchen wollen hart genommen werden. Sie genießen es, vergewaltigt werden, sonst würden sie sich wehren.	Eine Vergewaltigung erfolgt immer gegen den Willen einer Frau. Sie wird nicht als lustvoll sondern als lebensgefährliche Bedrohung mit akuter Todesangst erlebt.¹⁷ Meist führt dies zu einem Schockzustand, in dem eine körperliche Gegenwehr unmöglich ist. Ein NEIN und Gegenwehr wird vom Vergewaltiger übergangen.¹⁸
3.	Typ C / D – Nur junge, attraktive Frauen oder solche, die sich aufreizend kleiden oder verhalten, werden vergewaltigt.	Jedes Mädchen und jede Frau kann unabhängig von ihrem Alter, ihrem Aussehen, ihrer Kleidung, Nationalität oder Religion Opfer einer Vergewaltigung werden. Kein Verhalten kann eine Vergewaltigung ausschließen. Kein Verhalten von Mädchen und Frauen, das eine Vergewaltigung rechtfertigt.
4.	Opferabwertung / Typ B – Einer vergewaltigten Frau sieht man den Missbrauch an. Sie erzählt sofort von der Tat.	Es gibt kein typisches Opferverhalten. Vergewaltigte reagieren individuell (verzweifelt, ruhig, aggressiv). Das jeweilige Verhalten ist kein Maßstab für Glaubwürdigkeit. Aus Scham, Angst und möglichen Schuldzuweisungen reden nur wenige Vergewaltigte mit nahestehenden oder fremden Personen über das Verbrechen oder erstatten Anzeige.
5.	Überfalltheorie Typ D – Vergewaltigungen geschehen meist nachts, überfallartig durch Fremdtäter im Freien.	Vergewaltigungen sind zu 70-80% geplant und geschehen rund um die Uhr. Nur 11-22% der Sexualopfer werden von Unbekannten angegriffen. Zwei Drittel aller Vergewaltigungen finden im sozialen Umfeld der Opfer statt. Überwiegend kennen sich Täter und Opfer (zumindest flüchtig). Freunde, Bekannte, Väter, Brüder, Ehemänner, Partner überwältigen in der Familie, im Freundeskreis, am Arbeitsplatz, in der Wohnung des Opfers.
6.	Triebtätertheorie – Eine Vergewaltigung ist eine sexuell motivierte Triebtat.	Eine Vergewaltigung ist eine aggressiv, nicht sexuell, motivierte Gewalttat. Dieses Verbrechen geschieht aus Wut, Kontrolle und Dominationsmacht. Sie ängstigen, erniedrigen und beschämen.
7.	Triebtätertheorie – Vergewaltiger sind anormal, psychisch krank oder sexuell ausgehungert und gestört.	Vergewaltiger sind zu über 90% nicht psychopathologisch auffällig.¹⁹ Keine biologische, psychische oder physische Veraussetzung untersagt es einem Mann, sein Sexualverhalten zu kontrollieren. Seriöse wissenschaftliche Angaben zu "triebgesteuerten" Männern liegen nicht vor.
8.	Typ B – Vergewaltigte Frauen sind mitschuldig an der Tat.	Vergewaltiger missachten die Würde und das Selbstbestimmungsrecht ihres Gegenübers. Ein körperlich gesunder und geistig zurechnungsfähiger Mensch ist befähigt, jederzeit und in allen Situationen abzuweisen. Sein NEIN gilt auch, wenn das Opfer zuvor zärtlich oder sexuell mit Täter verkehrte. Die rechtliche Verantwortung für den Missbrauch liegt aufseiten des Täters. Angesichts aller Verbrechen trägt die ganze Gesellschaft Mitverantwortung.
9.	Opferabwertung / Typ A – Viele Anzeigen wegen Vergewaltigung sind Falschbezichtigungen aus Rache.	In Deutschland sind 3% der Anzeigen gegen Vergewaltiger Falschbeschuldigungen, in USA 2%. Aus Angst und Scham verzichten Missbrauchte auf eine Anzeige. Je näher sie mit dem Täter bekannt oder verwandt sind, desto seltener zeigen Frauen eine Vergewaltigung an.
10.	Opferabwertung / Typ D – Theorien, wie sich Frauen zu verhalten haben, um der Vergewaltigung zu entgehen.	Eine Vergewaltigte befindet sich in Lebensgefahr. Hier empfiehlt sich, dem eigenen Instinkt zu folgen. Erfolg ist, mit dem Leben davonzukommen.
11.	Omnipotenz-Theorie –Theorie, dass Männer sich stets gegen sexuelle Gewalt wehren können.	Ein Vergewaltigter befindet sich in Lebensgefahr. Hier empfiehlt sich, dem eigenen Instinkt zu folgen.

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#	Zentrale Mythen	Verleugnung, Cliche, Rechtfertigung
Typ-A	Es ist nichts passiert.²⁰	Verleugnung des sexuellen Kontakts zwischen Täter und Opfer. Umkehrung des Täter-Opfer-Verhältnisses [Falschbezichtigung] – Projektion männlicher Phantasien (femme fatale) auf Frauen Nur rund 1% der Gewalttäter werden verurteilt. Demnach hat auch keine Vergewaltigung stattgefunden. Folge: Bei Gerichtsverhandlungen wird die Glaubwürdigkeit des Opfers stärker als bei anderen Delikten thematisiert. Brownmiller, 1975
Typ-B	Die Vergewaltigung hat keinen Schaden angerichtet.	Verleugnung des Schadens durch Vergewaltigung. Durch Übernahme der männlichen Perspektive [Frauen als Besitz des Mannes] wird Vergewaltigung als "normale" sexuelle Interaktion betrachtet. Brownmiller, 1975 Rechtfertigung: Nur „schlechte Frauen“ können vergewaltigt werden.
Typ-C	Die Frau wollte vergewaltigt werden.	Cliché: Frauen meinen „ja“ wenn sie „nein“ sagen. Schlussfolgerung: Sie zieren sich, wollen jedoch "hart angepackt werden". Wenn Frauen die Abwehr nicht gelingt, haben sie eingewilligt, vergewaltigt zu werden.
Typ-D	Die Frau hat es verdient, vergewaltigt zu werden.	Rechtfertigung: Frauen sind verantwortlich für die Folgen, wenn sie sich aufreizend verhalten und in „riskante“ Situationen begeben. Folge: Mildere Beurteilung der Tat vor Gericht. Brownmiller, 1975 Mythos: Wer die Macht besitzt, Normen zu prägen, ist im Recht. Wenn Frauen den patriarchalen Verhaltenskodex nicht befolgen, werden sie zu „legitimen Opfern“. Prostituierte könnten nicht vergewaltigt werden.

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Männer	Triebtätermythos	Die meisten Vergewaltiger haben einen ausgeprägten Sexualtrieb, den sie nicht kontrollieren können.
Männer	Triebtätermythos	Die meisten Männer, die vergewaltigen, wurden als Kind lange sexuell missbraucht.
Männer	Opferabwertung Typ D	Ein Mann ist berechtigt, eine Frau zu vergewaltigen als Strafe für ihr provokatives Verhalten (Gestik, Mimik, Sprache, Kleidung) zu bestrafen.
Frauen	Opferabwertung Typ A	Eine Ehefrau kann von ihrem Mann nicht vergewaltigt werden, da sie dem Beischlaf im Rahmen ihres Eheversprechens ein für allemall zugestimmt hat.
Frauen	Opferabwertung Typ B	Eine sexuell aktive Frau, die mit mehreren Männern verkehrt, findet eine Vergewaltigung nicht schlimm.
Frauen	Opferabwertung Typ B	Wenn eine Frau vergewaltigt wird, verhält sie sich richtig, wenn sie sich entspannt und es genießt.
Frauen	Opferabwertung Typ B	Wenn eine vergewaltigte Frau die Tat nicht unmittelbar danach anzeigt, erlitt sie kein Verbrechen.
Frauen	Vis-haud-ingrata-Theorie Typ C	Frauen wünschen sich insgeheim, vergewaltigt zu werden.
Frauen	Bestrafungsmythos Typ D	Eine Frau, die Männer anmacht, ohne ihm Sex zu gewähren, legt es darauf an vergewaltigt zu werden.
Porno	Triebtätermythos	Da die zunehmende Pornografisierung in den Medien den Sexualtrieb potentieller Täter weckt, wird die Vergewaltigungsneigung von Männern allgemein verstärkt.

Statistik
26 % aller befragten Männer haben versucht, eine Frau zum sexuellen Verkehr zu zwingen.
15 % gestanden, den Sexualverkehr erzwungen zu haben.²¹
4,6 % der männlichen Studenten hatten einmal vergewaltigt.²²
Ein Drittel aller befragten College-Studenten halten es für möglich, zu vergewaltigen, wenn sie dafür nicht bestraft werden.²³

Quellen:
- Vergewaltigung - Mythen und Tatsachen, Notruf.wtal.de
- Nicola Brosi, Untersuchung zur Akzeptanz von Vergewaltigungsmythen in verschiedenen Bevölkerungsgruppen,
Dissertation, Medizinische Fakultät der Ludwig-Maximilians-Universität, München, 16. Dezember 2004
- Heiko Rauhut, Zürich, Ivar Krumpal, Leipzig, , Soziale Probleme, 19. Jg., 2008
- Beatrice Weber, Die soziale Wirklichkeitskonstruktion von Vergewaltigungsmythen und der Realitätsbezug, Hugendubel, München, 2010
- Vergewaltigung – Mythen und Tatsachen, GegensexuelleGewalt.at, Johannes Schumacher, 7. September 2010

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Kollektive Verleugnungsmatrix angesichts von Tabus

Stufe Runde	Evolution	Gewaltloser Widerstand Mahatma Gandhi	Reaktion der Standardwissenschaft auf Neuentdeckungen	Extrakt der Vergewaltigungsmythen	Reaktion auf NS-Vernichtungslager
1. Stunde	Widerstand Entdeckung Verbrechen wird bekannt.	"Erst ignorieren sie dich."	"Das trifft wahrscheinlich nicht zu."	Es ist nichts passiert.	Das kann gar nicht sein.
2. Tag	Widerstand Entdeckung Verbrechen wird bestätigt.	"Dann verhöhnen sie dich."	"Das mag wohl zutreffen, ist aber nicht wichtig."	Keiner kam zuschaden.	Wir haben nichts davon gewusst.
3. Monat	Widerstand Entdeckung Verbrechen gewinnt an Boden.	"Dann kämpfen sie gegen dich."	"Gewiss ist diese Entdeckung wichtig, aber sie ist nicht mehr neu."	Sie wollte es doch.	Wir haben nur Befehle befolgt.
4. Jahr	Widerstand Entdeckung Verbrechen ist etabliert.	"Schließlich siegst du."	N/A Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592)	Es geschah ihr recht.	Sie waren selbst schuld.

Alle Wahrheit durchläuft drei Stufen. Zuerst wird sie lächerlich gemacht oder verzerrt. Dann wird sie bekämpft.
Und schließlich wird sie als selbstverständlich angenommen. Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) deutscher Philosoph, Hochschullehrer, Schriftsteller

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Statistisches zur Internet-Pornographie – Online Education

Sexsucht dominiert das Internet und untergräbt die Bindungsfähigkeit. [Status 2010-2011]

Es gibt 400 Millionen pornografische Webseiten, täglich kommen 300 weitere dazu.
89% der Pornowebseiten stammen aus den USA [Platz 1], 4% aus Deutschland [Platz 2].
35% des Internet-Datenverkehrs ist pornografischen Ursprungs.
Nur 3% der Sex-Seiten verlangen eine Altersangabe des Nutzers.
Ein Viertel aller Google-Suchanfragen dreht sich um Pornografie.
'Sex' und 'Porn' zählen zu den fünf meistgefragtesten Suchbegriffen bei Kindern unter 18 Jahren.
43 Prozent aller Internet-User schauen sich online Pornoflme an.
72% Männer und 28% Frauen (Tendenz steigend) rufen pro Sekunde etwa 30.000 (frei) zugängliche Porno-Streams ab.
- 98% der bezahlten Internet-Pornoinhalte werden von Männern betrachtet.²⁴
  - 98 percent of paid pornography on the Internet is watched by men.
Durchschnittlich schauen Männer zwischen 18 und 24 Jahren zwei Stunden pro Woche Pornofilme an.
Durchschnittlich schauen (junge) Frauen 15 Minuten pro Woche Pornofilme an.
70 Prozent der Männer, die überdurchschnittlich viele Pornofilme anschauen, haben deshalb Beziehungsprobleme,
weil sie von ihrer Partnerin erwarten, sich wie ein Pornostar zu verhalten.²⁵ ²⁶

Geschätzte Einnahmen der Pornoindustrie [Stand 2009]

13 Milliarden jährlich in USA
97 Milliarden jährlich weltweit
Mit Online-Pornofilmen wurden weltweit mehr als eine Milliarde US-Dollar verdient.

Diverse Quellen und Bild online, 15. Januar 2010
Gegeninitiative: Cindy Gallop, US-amerikanische Werbeexpertin, Make love, not porn (engl.)
präsentiert von TEDBlog, 4:29 Minuten Dauer, eingestellt 2. Dezember 2009

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Gewalttätiges Verhalten ist geschlechtsspezifisch.

Strafrechtsrelevante Gewalt, die den Körper bedroht und verletzt, wird überwiegend von jüngeren Männern ausgeübt.
Entwicklungs- und hormonphysiologisch bedingt begehen im wesentlichen männliche Jugendliche und junge Erwachsene (vorwiegend Vierzehn- bis Zwanzigjährige) Gewaltverbrechen.
Der Hypothalamus von Männern und Frauen weist einen deutlichen Sexualdimorphismus auf. Nur bei Männern besteht eine Koppelung von sexueller Erregung, Aggressivität und Dominanzverhalten. In Verbindung mit einem signifikant erhöhten Testosteronspiegel und einem deutlich gesenkten Serotoninspiegel verüben prädisponierte Männer Gewalttaten. Serotonin, Oxytocin und das Neuropeptid Y tragen zur Beruhigung und zur Aggressionskontrolle bei.

In Deutschland gab es im Jahr 1997 Verurteilungen wegen folgender Verbrechen:

Gewaltverbrechen – 658.943 Männer und 121.587 Frauen
Gefährliche und schwere Körperverletzung – 16.338 Männer und 1.255 Frauen
Sexueller Missbrauch von Kindern – 2.179 Männer und 28 Frauen
Vergewaltigung – 1.002 Männer und 7 Frauen
Mord und Totschlag (schwere Gewaltdelikte) – 734 Männer und 70 Frauen²⁷

Quellen:
- Prof. Gerhard Roth, deutscher Neurologe, Hirnforscher, Freier Wille, Verantwortlichkeit und Schuld, PDF
- The difference between men's and women's brains, YouTube film, Minute 1:11, 1:45 Minuten Dauer, eingestellt 17. Oktober 2007
Prof. Gerhard Roth: "The hypothalamus (saturated with testosterone) – ONLY in men – is the agent of sexual arousal AND for violence."
["Der Hypothalamus – NUR in Männern – ist das Agens der sexuellen Erregung UND der Gewalt."]

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Zitate zum Thema Gewalt / Violence

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Zitate allgemein

Jesus: Siehe, ich sende euch wie Schafe mitten unter die Wölfe; darum seid klug wie die Schlangen und ohne Falsch wie die Tauben.
Matthäus 10, 16 (NT)

Das Ziel dieser Energien, die sich von spiritueller Wahrheit bedroht fühlen, liegt darin, Wahrheit zu besiegen, indem sie sie untergraben und zerrütten. In der heutigen Zeit liegt das größte Einfallstor für niedere Astralkräfte auf diesem Planeten in den Medien – Fernsehen, Filme, Musik und ganz besonders Videospiele – die ganz offen das Böse in Form von Gewalt und Verführung verherrlichen. Auch durch die Verunglimpfung spiritueller Symbole, über die man sich absichtlich lustig macht, um zu schockieren, wird Unheil angerichtet. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Licht des Alls, Kapitel 23 Homo Spiritus, S. 547

Leid, das Erwachsene einander im Bereich mitmenschlicher Beziehungen und gesellschaftlicher Verhältnisse auf zuweilen grausame Weise zufügen, ruft bei dem Untersucher, der sich mit menschlichen Verhaltensweisen beschäftigt, das Verlangen hervor, leiderzeugende Umstände zu verändern und ihre Ursachen wegzunehmen. Neben den Regungen des Entsetzens und der Trauer über die Unvollkommenheit der menschlichen Natur, die auch sein Teil ist, und gesellschaftlicher Ordnungen, an denen er Anteil hat, wird ihn hierbei nie das Bewusstsein verlassen, dass es zugleich auch gilt, bis zu einem gewissen Grad Unvollkommenheit zu ertragen.
Leid jedoch, Kindern angetan, ist schlechthin unerträglich. Hans Keilson (*1909) niederländischer Arzt, Psychoanalytiker, Psychiater, Traumaforscher, KZ-Überlebender, deutschsprachiger Autor, 1979

Gewaltlosigkeit bedeutet nicht nur, auf externe physische Gewalt zu verzichten, sondern auch die interne Gewaltbereitschaft unseres Geistes zu vermeiden. Man weigert sich nicht nur, einen anderen Menschen zu erschießen, man weigert sich auch, ihn zu hassen. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968) US-amerikanischer Baptistenpastor, Aktivist, afro-amerikanischer Bürgerrechtler

Die Evolution der Menschheit wird durch Gewalt charakterisiert, etwas das Erich Fromm "bösartige Aggression" nannte. Es ist grundsätzlich anders als die Art von Aggression, die man in der Natur sieht: Überleben, Beschaffung von Nahrung oder sexueller Wettbewerb. […] Diese bösartige Aggression bedeutet nach Fromms Verständnis auch eine Art unstillbare Gier, die Tendenz, immer mehr haben zu wollen, mehr Macht, mehr Geld, mehr Besitz, mehr Territorium. Das ist charakteristisch für die menschliche Geschichte. Stanislav Grof (*1931) tschechisch-US-amerikanischer Psychiater, Psychotherapeut, Medizinphilosoph, Mitbegründer der transpersonalen Psychologie, Die Welt ist perfekt, Interview mit Kareem van Gennip, Transpersonale Perspektiven, Vol. 4/98, Logos-Verlag-Berlin, Juli 1998

Der Psychologe Wunibald Müller, der das Recollectio-Haus Münsterschwarzach leitet und sich seit Jahren mit dem Thema befasst, geht davon aus, dass sich die Situation in Deutschland nicht wesentlich von der in anderen Ländern unterscheidet. Er schätzt den Anteil der katholischen Priester in Deutschland, die Kinder oder Jugendliche sexuell missbrauchen, auf etwa zwei bis vier Prozent aller Kleriker – also auf 350 bis 700. Tagesspiegel, 31. Januar 2010

Aufgrund von Erhebungen geht man heute in Deutschland von mindestens 90.000 Vergewaltigungen im Jahr aus. Jede zweite Vergewaltigung passiert zu Hause [...] Der Täter ist der eigene Mann oder Freund bzw. Ex-Mann.
Doch nur acht Prozent aller Vergewaltigungen werden überhaupt angezeigt. Und nur bei jeder siebten Anzeige steht am Ende die Verurteilung des Täters. Gleichzeitig signalisieren die Statistiken, dass Vergewaltigung das Verbrechen mit den geringsten Falschanschuldigungen ist: Nur in drei von hundert Fällen lügt die Frau.
Was bedeutet: Nur jeder hundertste Vergewaltiger muss auch dafür büßen. Vergewaltigung ist also ein quasi strafloses Verbrechen. Alice Schwarzer (*1942) führende deutsche Feministin, Journalistin, EMMA-Herausgeberin, Warum Millionen Frauen betroffen sind, veröffentlicht in BILD, 17. September 2010

Die Ehe als Institution hat sich aus der Vergewaltigung als Praxis entwickelt. Vergewaltigung, ursprünglich als Entführung definiert, wurde durch Gefangennahme zur Ehe. Andrea Dworkin (1946–2005) US-amerikanische Soziologin, radikale Feministin, Anti-Krieg-Aktivistin, Schriftstellerin, Pornographie. Männer beherrschen Frauen, Emma-Verlag, 1987

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Pornographie

Pornographie erzählt Lügen über Frauen, doch sie sagt die Wahrheit über Männer. Andrea Dworkin (1946–2005) US-amerikanische Soziologin, radikale Feministin, Anti-Krieg-Aktivistin, Schriftstellerin

Die Darsteller können mit einem machen, was sie wollen. Und die Produzenten genau so. Man bespricht zwar vorher, was man macht, aber im Vertrag steht, dass man sich allem zur Verfügung stellt, was der Produzent verlangt. Und so sehen die Verträge alle aus. Im Moment des Unterschreibens gibt man das Menschsein ab. Man ist einfach nur noch ein Stück. Ein Loch. Kim, Ex-Pornodarstellerin, Der Traum vom Porno-Star, EMMA Winter 2011

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Zitate von Marshall B. Rosenberg

Kein anderer kann Gefühle in dir verursachen. Ein anderer kann Gefühle auslösen. Es ist jedoch dein Denken darüber, was er tun sollte oder müsste beziehungsweise, was man tut, was korrekt oder richtig ist, das deine Gefühle von Wut, Schmerz oder Ärger verursacht. Marshall B. Rosenberg (*1934) US-amerikanischer Psychologe, Psychotherapeut, Entwickler der Gewaltfreie Kommunikation

Alle Gewalt ist das Ergebnis davon, dass Menschen [...] auf das Denkmuster hereinfallen, dass ihr Schmerz von anderen Menschen herrührt und es diese Menschen konsequenterweise verdienen, bestraft zu werden. Marshall B. Rosenberg (*1934) US-amerikanischer Psychologe, Psychotherapeut, Entwickler der Gewaltfreie Kommunikation, Gewaltfreie Kommunikation

Du kannst entweder Recht haben oder glücklich sein, beides geht nicht. Marshall B. Rosenberg (*1934) US-amerikanischer Psychologe, Psychotherapeut, Entwickler der Gewaltfreie Kommunikation

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Zitate (engl.) allgemein

Jesus: I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. Matthew 10, 16 (NT)

Spirit equates with Life; the energy of life itself can be termed spirit. Spirit is the alive-ness that accompanies and is an expression of alignment with life energy. The power of high energy attractor patterns is anabolic, sustaining life: their opposites are catabolic, eventually leading to death. True power equals life equals spirit, whereas force equals weakness equals death. When an individual has lost or lacks those qualities we term spiritual, he becomes devoid of humanity, love and self-respect, perhaps selfish and violent. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Power vs. Force. The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior, S. 180, Hay House edition, February 2002

Characteristically, devotees tend to be introspective, thoughtful, reflective, curious, responsable, and attentive. There is usually an aversion to violence, cruelty, nonintegrity, and the fanfare and drama of glamour and vulgarity. There is an attraction to learning for its own sake and the pleasure of discovery of basic premises. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Discovery of the Presence of God, S. S. ?

Sentimentality is a superstructure covering brutality. Carl Gustav Jung [LoC 540] (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist, psychoanalytist, depth psychologist

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Albert Einstein [LoC 499] (1879-1955) German-born US American theoretical physicist, developer of the theory of general relativity

Without the transcendent and the transpersonal, we get sick, violent, and nihilistic, or else hopeless and apathetic. Abraham Maslow [LoC 475] (1908-1970) US American transpersonal psychologist, happiness researcher

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. [...] The chain reaction of evil – hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars – must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation. Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968) US American clergyman, activist, leader in the African American civil rights movement

We all have the potential to be killers. We found that the people who are the most violent are those who are incapable of embracing their own potential for evil. By projecting their shadow, their evil, onto the other, they justify their violence. They think they're emphasizing their purity, or restoring their purity, by destroying someone else. Howard Thurman, Ph.D. (1899-1981) US American college professor, theologian, philosopher, educator, civil rights leader, author, named among the 25 Most Influential People by Time Magazine 1997

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Loss of soul

Compensated on nonintegrous outlets

It has been said that the great malady of the twentieth century, implicated in all of our troubles and affecting us individually and socially, is “loss of soul.” When soul is neglected, it doesn’t just go away; it appears symptomatically in obsessions, addictions, violence and loss of meaning. Thomas Moore, Ph.D. careofthesoul.net, US American monk, professor of theology, psychotherapist, writer, musician, Care of the Soul, xi, 1992

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Result of 25 years of research on violent prisoners at Harvard Medical School :

Even the most violent of criminals can be rehabilitated.

There is no human being that cannot be reached. [Violent criminals are] "love-starved."
Without love, the soul cannot survive. It dies. That's what these men [violent criminals] were telling me. Their souls had died. That's why they were capable of killing other people. [...] I have seen the most violent people we have. When I first started out with many of them, I thought they were hopeless. I thought there was nothing we could do. They were untreatable, incurable. [...] I was wrong. I've known some of these men for 25 or 30 years now, people who were off the scale, who were mute, paranoid, multiple murderers, who'd been killing people even after they got into prison or jail – we were able to work with [them], and turn [them] around, so that they haven't harmed a hair on anybody's head for the last 25 years, and in fact are engaged in constructive work. James Gilligan, US American psychiatrist, violence expert, author

The goal of ancient games was cooperation, not competition. The most respected art was healing, not wounding. Violence was present, but only in self-defense. Gloria Steinem gloriasteinem.com (*1934) leading US American feminist of the new women's movement, visionary and political activist, writer, journalist, msmagazine.com/june03|Remember Our Power!, summer 2003

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The wounds of patriarchy:

The shaming of masculinity triggers violence the shaming of femininity triggers women's silence.

Violence occurs when women's voices are silent or silenced. […] Girl's voices and women's voices will give words to something that is felt deeply also by men but often not in language. And when women's voices drop out of the conversation this awareness and this knowledge tends to drop out with it. Carol Gilligan, Ph.D. webster.edu (*1936) US American professor of gender studies, psychologist, feminist, ethicist (community, relationships), writer, Learning to See in the Dark: The Roots of Ethical Resistance, sponsored by The Dalai Lama Center For Ethics and Transformative Values MIT World, 1:10:34 duration, minute 46:45, recorded 24. April 2009

What we have come to know as patriarchy and abusive masculinity and the rapist male culture is not masculinity, it is a parody of masculinity, it is a [deformed] 'monster boy' masculinity. [...] If you go really deeply into rape psychology, rape culture, uninitiated masculinity is at the heart of that. And you are never going to get rid of it without helping men with this problem. Audio interview with Robert Moore, Ph.D. (*1942) US American Jungian psychoanalyst, consultant, theorist, best-selling author of King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, on Masculine Spirituality and Initiation: The Global Challenge, presented by The Shift Network, series The Ultimate Men's Summit, host Lion Goodman, minute 28:12, 60:14 minutes duration, recorded 19. June 2011

Violence is a choice masquerading as a necessity. Steve Ryals, awakened recovered US American drugatic, Drunk with Wonder. Awakening to the God Within, Rock Creek Press, September 2006

When violence is sexualized, it becomes invisible. Gail Dines, Ph.D., US American professor of sociology and women's studies, Wheelock College, Boston, anti-pornography campaigner

The pornography addict soon forgets about everything and everyone else in favor of an ever more elusive sexual jolt. He […] will place at risk his career, his friends, his family.
- Satinover compared pornography to heroin, saying, "Only the delivery system […] and the sequence of steps" differ.

Jeffrey Satinover, M.D., Ph.D. (*1947) US American professor of psychiatry, Princeton University, psychoanalyst, physicist, controversial public-policy writer, cited in: Judith Reisman (*1935) US American cultural conservative writer, social critic of the work and legacy of Alfred Kinsey, president of the Institute for Media Education, author of "Kinsey, Crimes & Consequences", The impotence pandemic, presented by WorldNetDaily, 27. September 2007

Violence may not be overcome by violence but maybe also not always without violence. Erich Fried (1921-1988) Austrian English, politically-minded poet, broadcaster, translator, essayist, translated by Viola Raheb from Vorübung für ein Wunder. Gedichte vom Zorn und von der Liebe, pg. 356, Wagenbachs Taschenbuch, 1999

Violence does not start with one person strangling another. It begins when one person says:
"I love you: You belong to me!" Erich Fried (1921-1988) Austrian English, politically-minded poet, broadcaster, translator, essayist, Violence (poem)

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished. Marshall B. Rosenberg (*1934) US American psychologist, therapist, creator of Nonviolent Communication, Nonviolent Communication. A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values

The daemonic is […] any natural function which has the power to take over the whole person [or whole nation] […] the daemonic can be either creative or destructive [i.e. demonic] […]. [V]iolence is the daemonic gone awry. Rollo May may-rollo (1909-1994) US American existential psychologist

Testosterone is not destiny; despite what the peddlers of third-rate evolutionary psychology sometimes insist. Manhood, as we practice it in America, traditionally expects violence as an initiation ritual of some sort. But manhood (as opposed to maleness) is an artificial construct. As a construct, it can be altered – if we want it. Hugo Schwyzer, US American professor for gender studies

In mainstream American culture, we teach boys and men that they should be violent, or at least ready to be violent if it becomes necessary. Among other things, we tell them that “a man never backs down from a fight,” “men protect others (especially women and children),” and that we can “step outside and settle it like men.” When a guy doesn’t follow these dictates, we call him a wimp. Andrew Smiler, Ph.D., US American research psychologist, focusing on masculinity and young men’s sex lives, president SPSMM

Violence is a choice masquerading as a necessity. Steve Ryals, US American minister of the Universal Life Church, licensed massage therapist, author, Drunk with Wonder. Awakening to the God Within, Rock Creek Press, September 2006

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Zitate (engl.) – Marshall B. Rosenberg

No one can cause emotions in you. Another person can trigger emotions in you. However, it is your way of thinking about what they should or must do or what one usually does, what is correct or right, which causes emotions of anger, pain or annoyance. Marshall Rosenberg, US American psychologist and therapist, promoter of Nonviolent Communication

We have to learn to communicate because nothing else will protect us from terrorism in this world. Marshall Rosenberg, US American psychologist and therapist, promoter of Nonviolent Communication

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished. Marshall B. Rosenberg (*1934) US American psychologist, psychotherapist, developer of Nonviolent Communication, Nonviolent Communication. A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values, Puddledancer Press, 2nd edition, 1. September 2003

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Video excerpts

Lecture by Marshall B. Rosenberg, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, YouTube film, posted 5. April 2010

Hear others empathically.
Connect empathically before you educate.
Make clear requests, not demands.
Hear the needs [not wants] and feelings behind thoughts.
Do not hear thoughts and expectations.
Do not make compromises.
All needs can be met. Other people's needs can be met without you.
Nobody is wrong.
Nobody can cause the psychological pain of others.

Anger – we are making moralistic judgements about somebody else.
Depression, guilt, and shame – we are putting that game upon ourselves. But we are not alive[...] which is connected with our needs. minute 1:11, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.1, 9:01 minutes duration

All human beings have the same needs. What differs immensely is the strategies that we have been educated in for meeting the needs. Different cultures educate people to meet the needs in a different way. minute 4:40, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.1, 9:01 minutes duration

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Jackal speak:

Unclear request to be loved

It's embarrassing to get clear. I want you to guess what I want before even I know what it is and I want you to always be willing to do it.
Most jackals that carry that definition of love around with them find out how impossible it is at about their fifth divorce. minute 7:30, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.2, 9:11 minutes duration

Jackals want to control by guilt and shame. minute 2:10, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.4, 9:11 minutes duration

Jackals try to fix people in pain. They try to give reassurance. They try to make it better. They can't stand pain. They immediately make matters worse by trying to get rid of the pain. minute 0:57, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.3, 9:11 minutes duration

[Situation: A phony OK given on a request]:
Jackal language: "Bullshit!"
Giraffe language: I'm feeling uneasy with your OK. I wish I could trust it, but I don't. I'd really like you to take a moment and really tell me whether it would meet your needs as I requested.
minute 5:59, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.2, 9:11 minutes duration

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How do giraffes make requests?

When we do make a request we want to be sure that the person trusts that it's a request and not a demand.
If you were a giraffe hand your request with a card:
- Please do as I requested only if you can do so with the joy of a little child feeding a hungry duck.
- Please do not do as I request if there is any fear of punishment motivating you.
- Please do not do as I request out of the hopeful reward that I will like you if you do.
- Please do not do as I request out of guilt, shame, duty, obligation.
minute 4:00, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.3, 9:11 minutes duration

How to differentiate a REQUEST from a DEMAND?
There has been so much coercion in the world that even if we are making a sincere request the other person might hear a demand. [...] We can't tell from how nicely it was asked. We need to see how the person treats us when we don't do what they want. minute 7:48, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.3, 9:11 minutes duration

As long as people hear our request as a demand they have only two choices: submission or rebellion. And neither of them are gonna connect us with people that is good for anybody. The main thing that is the difference is not how nicely we say it but how we treat people when they don't do what we want. minute 5:20, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.4, 9:11 minutes duration

With giraffe ears all you can hear are feelings and needs. You can hear no criticism. minute 4:50, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.1, 9:01 minutes duration

Giraffes are not nice. As much as I think the violence in the world is created by nice people. Don't mistake the word nonviolence as being nice. minute 6:31, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.2, 9:11 minutes duration

The cardinal Giraffe rule is:
Never put your butt in the face of an angry person. minute 6.44, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.4, 9:11 minutes duration

No compromising in Giraffe. [...]
Everybody's needs can be met. [...] If you do anything that involves giving in both people pay for it. Nothing is getting resolved. minute 4:07, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.6, 7:42 minutes duration

Labels lead to self-fulfilling prophecies. When you label people that way they're gonna behave that way. minute 2:24, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.4, 9:11 minutes duration

There are only two things that human beings are ever saying: Please and Thank you. minute 0:11, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.1, 9:01 minutes duration

Do not hear thoughts. Only use the thoughts as a window. Hear the needs behind thoughts. minute 7:31, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.1, 9:01 minutes duration

Leave yourself out of other people's needs. They can be met without you. minute 7:04, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.2, 9:11 minutes duration

If you're giving you're giving out of selffulness not out of selflessness. minute 2:50, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.3, 9:11 minutes duration

Empathic connection before education. minute 0:02, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.4, 9:11 minutes duration

The solution will find us when the connection is there. [...] When you hear X needs without hearing any criticism or demand and when X hear your needs without hearing any criticism or demand the solution will find you when the connection is there. minute 0:31, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.4, 9:11 minutes duration

All judgments are tragic expressions of unmet needs. minute 7:06, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.5, 9:11 minutes duration

Never hear an expectation. […] Expectations are thoughts. minute 9:02, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.5, 9:11 minutes duration

All of our needs can be met. minute 0:31, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.6, 7:42 minutes duration

Never use the following words when you say No in Giraffe: No. I can't. I don't want to. I don't have time. I'ts not possible. To say No in Giraffe you need to be conscious that a No is a poor expression of a need. So say the need that keeps you from saying Yes. minute 1:05, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.6, 7:42 minutes duration

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Differentiate!

Natural vs. habitual

Quoting Mahatma Gandhi: "It's very dangerous to mix up the words natural and habitual. We have been trained to be quite habitual at communicating in ways that are quite unnatural." minute 7:24, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 4.1, 9:01 minutes duration

There is no such thing as being wrong. minute 4:53, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 4.2, 9:11 minutes duration

'Be happy' is undoable. minute 5:30, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 4.2, 9:11 minutes duration

You can't cause another person's psychological pain. minute 3:55, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 4.3, 9:11 minutes duration

Buddha's advice: Don't do something. Stand there. […] You can't fix people. […] Empathy requires presence. […] When we start to give advice we make it worse. […] That precious connection does the healing. minute 4:24, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 4.3, 9:11 minutes duration

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Überschrift:

Expressing and receiving appreciation and gratitude vs. false humility.

// quote missing //
minute, The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 4.5, 6:44 minutes duration

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Zitate (engl.) – Andrea Dworkin

Men characterize pornography as something mental because their minds, their thoughts, their dreams, their fantasies, are more real to them than women's bodies or lives; in fact, men have used their social power to characterize a $10-billion-a-year trade in women as fantasy. Andrea Dworkin, US American radical feminist, Pornography, Men Possessing Women, Plume, 1981, 1. November 1991

Pornography is the essential sexuality of male power: of hate, of ownership, of hierarchy, of sadism, of dominance. Andrea Dworkin, US American radical feminist, Pornography, Men Possessing Women, Plume, 1981, 1. November 1991

Pornography incarnates male supremacy. It is the DNA of male dominance. Every rule of sexual abuse, every nuance of sexual sadism, every highway and byway of sexual exploitation, is encoded in it. Andrea Dworkin, US American radical feminist, Pornography, Men Possessing Women, Plume, 1981, 1. November 1991

Men are rewarded for learning the practice of violence in virtually any sphere of activity by money, admiration, recognition, respect, and the genuflection of others honoring their sacred and proven masculinity. Andrea Dworkin, US American radical feminist, Pornography, Men Possessing Women, pg. 53, Plume, 1981, 1. November 1991

Pornography reveals that male pleasure is inextricably tied to victimizing, hurting, exploiting; that sexual fun and sexual passion in the privacy of the male imagination are inseparable from the brutality of male history. The private world of sexual dominance that men demand as their right and their freedom is the mirror image of the public world of sadism and atrocity that men consistently and self-righteously deplore. It is in the male experience of pleasure that one finds the meaning of male history. Andrea Dworkin, US American radical feminist, Pornography, Men Possessing Women, pg. 69, Plume, 1981, 1. November 1991

The pornographers actually use our bodies as their language. We are their speech. [...] Protecting what they 'say' means protecting what they do to us, how they do it. It means protecting their sadism on our bodies, because that is how they write: not like a writer at all; like a torturer. Andrea Dworkin, US American radical feminist, Women Transforming Communications

I don't believe rape is inevitable or natural. If I did, I would have no reason to be here [...] Have you ever wondered why we are not just in armed combat against you? It's not because there's a shortage of kitchen knives in this country. It is because we believe in your humanity, against all the evidence. Andrea Dworkin, most vilified of US American feminists, 1983

Englische Texte – English section on Violence

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Statistics on sexual crimes, rape especially – Germany

Around 90% of the victims of sex related crimes are women, 10% are men.

13% of the women and girls between age 16-85 in Germany have experienced sexualized violence, which is defined as a crime by law standards.²⁸

All in all there are 5.33 million adult female victims of sex crimes (amounting to roughly 90,000 per year) in Germany:
Annually 8000 complaints on sexual assaults are filed in Germany.
- 13% of the sexual offenders = around 1000 are criminally convicted per year in Germany.

The suspected number of the victims of sexual child abuse is enormous.
Only about 10% of the reported cases are being convicted. (Germany, status 2010)

There are around 8000 complaints of rape and sexual assault in Germany annually. (Status: Germany, 1. decade, 3rd millennium)

From 8000 complaints per year there are 1040 convicted perpetrators. (Time period: Germany, 2001-2006)
- The rate of convictions is around 13% – in cases of rape and sexual assault.
There are 1365 accusals followed by a trial, out of which 1053 perpetrators are convicted. (Status: Germany, 2006)
- 77% of the trials on sex crimes lead to reprobation.²⁹

In 83% of the violent sex crimes the perpetrator is identified. (Time period: 2007 und 2006)

In around 6640 of 8000 complaint cases the perpetrator can be identified.
Around 1360 = 17% of the complaint cases cannot be prosecuted, as no alleged criminal (unknown perpetrator) can be identified.

In Germany around 3% of accusations of sex crimes are false.³⁰

Around 240 of the annually reported sex crimes in Germany are deliberate wrong suspicions.
4.8% of the „victims“ or plaintiffs were investigated against false accusation. In most cases the result was not published.³¹

Contrary to the existing stereotypes in cases of rape false accusations are rather rare. (The rate is 3% in Germany; in other European countries between 1-9%). Frauennotruf Hamburg

Bringing a case to court often means reliving the trauma.
2 % of reported sexual assaults are false accusations.
Once a victim does come forward the process can be healing.
Debbie Fox, Oregon Coalition against domestic and sexual violence, Audio of Al Gore sex assault victim released, YouTube film, 2:00 minutes duration, posted 25. June 2010

I would not advise my daughter [In a case of rape] to report to the police. [...] My professional experience shows: In the final analysis women always suffer the consequences. Hans-Jürgen Karge (69) German former Attorney General, talk show Der Fall Kachelmann – Justiz-Alltag oder Promi-Pranger?, German TV station ARD, program Anne Will, host Anne Will on the „court case Jörg Kachelmann“, minute 47, 58:54 minutes duration, 1. August 2010

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Statistical data on violence against women – USA and Canada

USA

Males are most often both the victims and the perpetrators in 90% of homicides.³²
Over 85% of the people who commit murder are men and the majority of the women who commit murder usually do so as a defense against men who have been battering them for years.
90% of the women in jail for murder are there for killing male batterers.³³
Women commit about 15% of all homicides.³⁴
More than 90 women were murdered every week in 1991; 9 out of 10 women were murdered by men.³⁵
90% of people who commit violent physical assault are men. Males perpetrate 95% of all serious domestic violence.³⁶
The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that 95% of reported assaults on spouses or ex-spouses are committed by men against women.³⁷
It is estimated that 1 in 4 men will use violence against his partner in his lifetime.³⁸
99.8% of the people in prison convicted of rape are men.³⁹
81% of men who beat their wives watched their fathers beat their mothers or were abused themselves.⁴⁰
Studies have found that men are responsible for 80% to 95% of child sexual abuse cases whether the child is male or female.⁴¹
The majority of victims of men’s violence are other men (76% M, 24% F).⁴²
Out of 10,000 cases of road rage over 95% of them were committed by men.⁴³
76% of binge drinkers are young males.⁴⁴
Males cause 86% of all drinking and driving incidents.⁴⁵
One in 12, or 8.2 million women, will be stalked at some point in their lifetime.
80% of the women stalked by intimates had also been physically assaulted by them.⁴⁶
Every day, 15 children [in USA] are killed by guns.⁴⁷
The ratio of drug abuse of males to females is 2 to 1.⁴⁸

Canada

One-half of all Canadian women have experienced at least one incident of violence since the age of 16. (1993)
One in three Canadian women were victims of assault by a spouse or partner. (1993)
Four in ten Canadian women were victims of sexual assault (1993).
Of all the provinces, the highest rate of violence was reported by women in B.C. (59%) (1993).
16% of all Canadian women (1.7 million) have been involved in at least one incident of sexual or physical assault by a date or boyfriend since the age of 16 (1993).
Half of all women who reported an incident of dating violence were between the ages of 18-34 (1993).
24% of women 18-24 years had been sexually and/or physically assaulted by a date or boyfriend.
This figure is 50 per cent higher than the national figure of 16 per cent. (1993)
In Canada, almost 75 women are murdered by their partner each year (2006).
98% of sex offenders are men and 82% of the survivors of these assaults are girls and women (1999).
Women were the victims in three of four spousal murders.⁴⁹
10,121 incidents of spousal assault were reported.⁵⁰
- 78.2% of the accused were males.
- 12.9% of the accused were females.
- 8.9% of reports involved both spouses assaulting each other.
Male on female violence accounted for the majority (46.5%) of all violent crime in Canada.⁵¹
- 37.8% was attributed to male on male violence.
- Female on female crime – where women were both the accused and the victim – accounted for 8.1% of the total.
- Female on male violence accounted for the lowest percentage of all violent crime in Canada at 7.6%.

Worldwide

Globally at least one in three women and girls is beaten or sexually abused in her lifetime.⁵²

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Shocking rape record – South Africa and Congo

A study conducted by the South African Medical Research Council on 1,738 sampled South African men from different race and age backgrounds, from urban and rural areas, revealed the following results [status June 2009]:

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Aftermath of childhood trauma and humiliation in a racist mysogynist culture

Rapists are men who have predominantly been traumatized in childhood by experiencing severe physical violence or sexual abuse, emotional and physical abuse and neglect.
Patriarchy and apartheid created a mindset according to which (mostly black) men are NOBODIES, subhuman beings. Their anger and pain thereof is translated into violent behavior or violent tendencies.

27.6% of the questioned men admitted to having raped a woman or girl in their lifetime.
- 23.2% of the rapists had raped two to three women.
- 8.4% of the rapists had raped four to five women.
- 7.1% of the rapists had raped six to 10 women.
- 7.7% of the rapists had raped more than 10 women or girls.
9.8% of the rapists were under 10 years old when they committed their first sex crime.
16.4% of the rapists were 10-14 years old when they committed their first sex crime.
46.5 % of the rapists were 15-19 years old when they committed their first sex crime.
18.6% of the rapists were 20-24 years old when they committed their first sex crime.
6.9% of the rapists were 25-29 years old when they committed their first sex crime.
1.9 percent were 30 years old or older when they committed their first sex crime.

Biologists and anthropologists found out that young human males belong to the most dangerous species on Earth.
Young men at age 14-23 are the most violent and most dangerous among the human males.

SOUTH AFRICA: One in four men rape, IRIN humanitarian news and analysis, 18. June 2009
Crime Statistics > Rapes (per capita) (most recent) by country
Sexual Violence as Male Bonding, The Grumpy Sociologist, 20. June 2009
More than 1,100 rapes daily in DRCongo, France 24, 11 May 2011

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Rape myths – a result of cultural denial

Rape myths are prejudicial, stereotyped or false beliefs about rape, rape victims, and rapists. Martha R. Burt, 1980
Rape myths are attitudes and beliefs that are generally false, yet widely held, and that serve to justify male sexual violence against women. K.A. Lonsway, L.F. Fitzgerald, Rape Myths, Review Psychology of Women Quarterly, 18, pgs. 133-164, 1984
We live in a rape culture, which means that the relationships we have with each other and as members of a society are all relationships that are predicated on a power-and-control model. Theryn Kigvamasud’Vashti, co-director, Communities Against Rape and Abuse (CARA), Seattle, WA, USA

A former surgeon general, Dr. C. Everett Koop (*1916), summed up the "Rape Myth." After examining all of the facts, Dr. Koop said, "I am certain that pornography that portrays sexual aggression as pleasurable for the victim is at the root of much of the rape that occurs today. Impressionable men, many of them still in adolescence, see this material and they get the impression that women like to be hurt, humiliated and forced to do things that they do not want to do. It is a false and vicious stereotype that leads to much pain and even death for victimized women." Mark Kastleman, US American former pornography addict, recovered after 25 years, author of The Drug of the New Millennium. The Science of How Internet Pornography Radically Alters the Human Brain and Body, 2001, co-founder of Candeo, Just a 'Harmless Hobby' and Other Myths, presented by content watch

Rape and sexual assault – fiction versus faction

#	Rape myths	F A C T S
1.	Rape is unwanted sex.	Rape is a violent, life-threatening crime. The vast majority of rapists are driven by motives of domination, control, and anger along with sexual attraction. Gratification is temporary.
2.	Rape is a minor crime affecting only a few women.	It is estimated that 1 in 8 women in USA has been or will be forcibly raped in her lifetime.⁵³ Because of low reporting rates, it is not known how many adult men are assaulted. It is also estimated that 1 out of every 4 girls, and 1 out of every 8 boys are sexually assaulted in some way before they reach adulthood. Rape is the most frequently committed violent crime in USA.
3.	Rape is not violent.	Rape is a violent crime. Many rapists carry a weapon and threaten the victim with violence or death.
4.	Women incite men to rape.	More than 70% of rapes are planned in advance for which the rapist is accountable. Opportunity determines the deed.
5.	Rape is an impulsive, spontaneous, uncontrollable act of sexual gratification.	Rapes are a premeditated act of violence [71%], not a spontaneous act of passion. The vast majority of rapists are driven by force, anger, and control, not by sexual gratification. 60% of convicted rapists were married or had regular sexual partners at the time of the assault.
6.	Most rapists only rape one time.	Most rapists carefully plan the crime and repeat it again and again, usually in the same area of town and in the same way – until caught.
7.	Rape is a crime of passion.	Rape is an act of VIOLENCE, not passion. Sex crimes hurt and humiliate.
8.	The assailant cannot control him/herself.	Men can control their sexual impulses.
9.	There is a "right way" to respond to a rape situation.	Exposed to a life-threatening crime the raped woman is best advised to follow her instincts to simply stay alive.
10.	A raped woman should not dwell on the rape experience but "forget it".	Victims are best served when they can talk about the assault with intimate relations and knowledgeable professionals. Those who are denied to talk about the abuse take longer to recover form it.
11.	Family members support the recovery of raped woman best.	When the victim's surroundings behave unsupportively or negatively [worrying about one's reputation, blaming the recoverer, withdrawal, hostility, stigmatizing, demanding secrecy] the recovery is more difficult.
12.	Rape trauma syndrome is transient.	Rape is a life changing experience, devastating for the mental health of victims. 31% of all raped women develop Rape-related Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (RR-PTSD) for a prolonged time.⁵⁴
13.	Rapists are non-white, foreigners, lower class, "criminal types."	Such rapists are more likely to be prosecuted. Rapists come from all professions, classes and races.
14.	One may perceive a rapist by the way he looks.	Rapists may appear friendly, normal, and non-threatening. Many are young, married and have children. Rapist types and traits can be categorized.
15.	Incest is rare.	Incest is common on all levels. An estimated 77% of reported sexual abusers are parents (57% of which natural parents), 16% are other relatives, and 6% are non-related. The abusers are male in 60 to 95% of the cases.⁵⁵
16.	You cannot be assaulted against your will.	Assailants overpower their victims with the threat of violence or with actual violence. Especially in cases of acquaintance rape or incest, an assailant often uses the victim's trust in him to isolate her.
17.	Sexual assaults are rare deviations and concern only few people.	Sexual assaults are common. Every 4th woman worldwide has been sexually assaulted once in her lifetime. Victims rarely discuss their assaults, many block them from conscious memory. The trauma may surface at another crisis or in the presence of a sympathetic person. An estimated 155,000 women in USA were raped each year between 1973 and 1987.⁵⁶
18.	Rapists are sick or insane men, or abnormal perverts.	In a study of 1300 convicted offenders most were well-adjusted, few were diagnosed as mentally or emotionally ill. All had a greater tendency to express their anger through violence and rage.
19.	Women often make false reports of rape. Women frequently "cry" rape.	Eight percent of forcible rape complaints were “unfounded,” while the average of false rape and related sex offenses reports was 2 percent. [Status 1996]⁵⁷ Many cases are dropped because of insufficient evidence for conviction.
20.	Women fantasize about being raped.	No woman fantasizes about being raped. Less than 0.7% out of 7789 questioned women phantasize of being raped.⁵⁸ Fantasies about aggressive sex may be controlled and turned off if they become threatening. A person being actually raped is unable to counter the violence and end it.
21.	Women secretly enjoy being raped.	No woman, man, child enjoys being raped. It is a brutal intrusion on the mind, body and spirit that can result in lasting trauma.
22.	Women "ask for it" by their provocative clothing or actions.	Rapists look for victims they perceive as vulnerable, not for women who dress provocatively. Assuming that women provoke attacks by where they are or the way they dress is victim-blaming. No person, whatever their behavior, "deserves" to be raped.
23.	Only "bad" women get raped.	Of all crimes rape victims are faced with the highest suspicion and doubt. According to studies a major reason for blaming the victim of being out late at night, drinking alcohol, dress sexily, leading on is motivated by unconscious self-protection.
24.	Rape only happens to young attractive women.	Rape can happen to anyone at anytime. Age, social class, ethnic group and has no bearing on the person a rapist chooses to attack. Survivors range in age from infancy to old age, and their appearance is seldom a consideration.⁵⁹ The rapist chooses available and most vulnerable targets [old persons, children, physically or emotionally disabled persons, substance abusers and street persons] who can easily be intimidated.⁶⁰ Men are also attacked.
25.	Rape only occurs outside and at night by strangers.	Rape does occur anytime and anyplace, mostly during the day and at home. Over 50% of reported rapes occur in the home.⁶¹ 80% of the sexual assaults reported by college age women and adult women were perpetrated by close friends or family members. There is no common profile of a rapist. Rapes are committed by people from all economic levels, all races, all occupations.
26.	Sexual assaults usually occur between strangers.	Over 70% of rape victims know their attackers [relatives, friends, co-workers, dates or acquaintances]. Assaults by assailants the victim knows are often not reported so the statistics do not reflect the actual numbers of acquaintance rapes.
27.	Only women and gay men get raped.	The vast majority of male rape victims, as well as their rapists, are heterosexual. Male rape victims represent 8% of the primary victims.⁶² Rapists are driven by the desire to overpower and control another person, not by sexual attraction. Male rape is not homosexual rape. Many male victims do not report the assault because they fear further humiliation.
28.	Gang rape is rare.	In 43% of all reported cases, more than one assailant was involved.
29.	No woman or man can be raped against her or his will.	In 1991, 14% of the rapes⁶³ involved the use of a weapon. 74% involved physical force and/or threats of force. Women are often physically weaker than men and are not taught to defend themselves or to be physically aggressive. Some women are unwilling to hurt another person, especially if the offender is someone they know.
30.	If the assailant, victim, or both are drunk, the assailant cannot be charged with rape.	Forcing sex on someone who is too drunk to give consent is second degree rape in North Carolina. [It carries a prison sentence of up to 17 years.] People who commit crimes like rape while under the influence of alcohol or drugs are not considered free from guilt.
31.	Women who are drunk are willing to engage in any kind of sexual activity.	The fact that a woman has been drinking does not imply consent. Alcohol and drugs can render a woman incapable of consent.
32.	Husbands don't rape their wives.	Laws against spousal rape were being installed in the 80s and 90s. Most battered wives have experienced spousal sexual abuse. Estranged or ex-spouses may use rape as a form of retaliation.
33.	A husband can't sexually assault his wife.	Regardless of marital or social relationship, if a woman does not consent to sexual activity, she is being sexually assaulted. 14% of women are victims of rape committed by their husband.
34.	Raped persons who do not report the act immediately do not consider it as a crime.	There is no typical correct victim behavior. Rape victims may react desperately, calmly, aggressively. Individual behavior is no standard for credibility. Only few rape victims reveal the crime immediately to close or unknown relations or report it to the police. They choose to remain silent out of shame, fear, and to avoid possible blame. If the rape is reported to a law enforcement agency within one year of its commission it can be prosecuted years later. Most rape victims do not report, others prepare themselves up to 3-6 years to report the crime to a law enforcement agency.

Sources: John Hamlin, US American sociologist, anthropologist, List of Rape Myths. Sociology of Rape, University of Minnesota, Duluth, 2001
Janet Anderson, editor WCSAP, Rape Myths, Research and Advocacy Digest, volume 9/3, May 2007

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Collective denial patterns – Breaking Taboos

Stage	Round Speed	Evolution	Non-violent resistance Mahatma Gandhi	Standard science faced with new discoveries	Rape myths extracted	Existence of death camps during the Nazi era
1.	Hour Very fast	Resistance / Discovery / Crime becomes known.	"First they ignore you."	"It is probably not true."	"Nothing has happened."	"That cannot be."
2.	Day Fast	Resistance / Discovery / Crime gets confirmed.	"Then they laugh at you."	"Yes, it may be true, but it is not important."	"Nobody was damaged."	"We didn't know anything."
3.	Month Slow	Resistance / Discovery / Crime is succeeding.	"Then they fight you."	"Yes, surely it is important, but it is no longer new."	"She wanted it."	"We did only follow orders."
4.	Year Very slow	Resistance / Discovery / Crime is established.	"Then you succeed."	N/A Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592)	"She deserved it."	"It was their fault anyway."

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Preventing domestic and gender violence – ten attitudes of aware men

1.	Approach gender violence as a MEN'S issue involving men of all ages and socioeconomic, racial and ethnic backgrounds.	View men not only as perpetrators or possible offenders, but as empowered bystanders who can confront abusive peers.
2.	If a brother, friend, classmate, or teammate is abusing his female partner – or is disrespectful or abusive to girls and women in general – don't look the other way.	If you feel comfortable doing so, try to talk to him about it. Urge him to seek help. Or if you don't know what to do, consult a friend, a parent, a professor, or a counselor. DON'T REMAIN SILENT.
3.	Have the courage to look inward. Question your own attitudes.	Don't be defensive when something you do or say ends up hurting someone else. Try hard to understand how your own attitudes and actions might inadvertently perpetuate sexism and violence, and work toward changing them.
4.	If you suspect that a woman close to you is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can help.
5.	If you are emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive to women, or have been in the past, seek professional help NOW.
6.	Be an ally to women who are working to end all forms of gender violence.
7.	Recognize and speak out against homophobia and gay-bashing.	Discrimination and violence against lesbians and gays are wrong in and of themselves. This abuse also has direct links to sexism (eg. the sexual orientation of men who speak out against sexism is often questioned, a conscious or unconscious strategy intended to silence them. This is a key reason few men do so).
8.	Attend programs, take courses, watch films, and read articles and books about multicultural masculinities, gender inequality, and the root causes of gender violence.	Educate yourself and others about how larger social forces affect the conflicts between individual men and women.
9.	Don't fund sexism.	Refuse to purchase any magazine, rent any video, subscribe to any web site, or buy any music that portrays girls or women in a sexually degrading or abusive manner. Protest sexism in the media.
10.	Mentor and teach young boys about how to be men in ways that don't involve degrading or abusing girls and women.	Lead by example

Source: Jackson Katz (*1960) US American anti-domestic violence and
gender violence prevention advocate, leading anti-sexist male activist, 1999

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Statistical data on school bullying – Canada

Results of the Study on bullying, Winter 1999
Conducted by University of British Columbia
490 students (half female, half male) in grades 8-10 in a B.C. city

Perpetrators

13 % bullied other students regularly (once or more a week).

Victims

64 % of the children had been bullied at school.
12 % were bullied regularly (once or more a week).

Bystanders (witnesses)

72 % observed bullying at school at least once in a while.

Intervention – Civil courage

40 % tried to intervene.

Justifications

64 % considered bullying a normal part of school life.
25-33 % said bullying is sometimes OK and/or that it is OK to pick on losers.
20-50 % said bullying can be a good thing [i.e. makes one tougher, problem solving].

Status gain

61-80 % said bullies are often popular and enjoy high status among their peers.

Source: University of British Columbia, Centre For Youth Social Development, UBC Faculty of Education
Sticks, stones and bullies, CBC News Online, 23. March 2005

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Facts, myths, and signs of bullying at school, at the workplace, in the cyberworld

FACT or MYTH	Statements made on bullying	Legend
FACT	People who bully have power over those they bully.	Bullies usually pick on those who have less social power (peer status), psychological power (know how to harm others), or physical power (size, strength). Some bullies also have been bullied by others. People who both bully and are bullied by others are at the highest risk for problems (such as depression and anxiety) and are more likely to become involved in risky or delinquent behavior.
FACT	Spreading rumors is a form of bullying.	Spreading rumors, name-calling, excluding others, and embarrassing them are all forms of social bullying that can cause serious and lasting harm.
MYTH	Only boys bully.	Verbal, social, and physical bullying happens among both boys and girls, especially as they grow older.
MYTH	People who bully are insecure and have low self-esteem.	Many people who bully are popular and have average or better-than-average self-esteem. They often take pride in their aggressive behavior and control over others. They may be part of a group that deems bullying okay. Some people who bully may also have poor social skills and experience anxiety or depression. They may use bullying as a way to gain social status.
MYTH	Bullying usually occurs when there are no other students around.	Students witness about four out of every five bullying incidents at school. Bystanders give the bullying students positive attention or join in about three-quarters of the time. Although 9 out of 10 students say there is bullying in their schools, adults rarely see bullying, even if they are looking for it.
MYTH	Bullying often resolves itself when you ignore it.	Bullying reflects an imbalance of power. Ignoring the bullying teaches bullies that they can bully others without consequences. Adults and other students need to stand up for children who are bullied, and to ensure they are protected and safe.
MYTH	All children will outgrow bullying.	For some, bullying continues as they become older. Unless someone intervenes, the bullying will likely continue and, in some cases, grow into violence and other serious problems. Children who consistently bully others often continue their aggressive behavior through adolescence and into adulthood.
MYTH	Reporting bullying will make the situation worse.	Research shows that children who report bullying to an adult are less likely to experience bullying in the future. Adults should encourage children to help keep their school safe and to tell an adult when they see bullying.
MYTH	Teachers often intervene to stop bullying.	Adults often do not witness bullying despite their good intentions. Teachers intervene in only 14 percent of classroom bullying episodes and in 4 percent of bullying incidents that happen outside the classroom.
MYTH	Nothing can be done at schools to reduce bullying.	School initiatives to prevent and stop bullying have reduced bullying by 15 to 50 percent. The most successful initiatives involve the entire school community of teachers, staff, parents, students, and community members.
MYTH	Parents are usually aware that their children are bullying others.	Parents play a critical role in bullying prevention, but they often do not know if their children bully or are bullied by others. To help prevent bullying, parents need to talk with their children about what is happening at school and in the community.

Signs of being bullied	Signs of bullying others
Comes home with damaged or missing clothing or other belongings	Becomes violent with others
Reports losing items such as books, electronics, clothing, or jewelry	Gets into physical or verbal fights with others
Has unexplained injuries	Gets sent to the principal’s office or detention a lot
Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or feeling sick	Has extra money or new belongings that cannot be explained
Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams	Is quick to blame others
Has changes in eating habits	Will not accept responsibility for their actions
Hurts themselves	Has friends who bully others
Are very hungry after school from not eating their lunch	Needs to win or be best at everything
Runs away from home
Is afraid of going to school or other activities with peers
Loses interest in school work or begins to do poorly in school
Appears sad, moody, angry, anxious or depressed when they come home	Signs of cyberbullying
Feels helpless	Sending threatening, taunting or teasing emails to someone
Blames themselves for their problems	Using a computer or any other technology to spread gossip or rumors or to make someone’s private information public
Loses interest in visiting or talking with friends	Pretending to be another person online to post or e-mail things that will embarrass or get that person in trouble
Avoids certain places	Being a "pretend friend" online with the intention of later hurting or humiliating someone
Talks about suicide	"Ganging up" on someone in a chat room or on a message board
Often feels like they are not good enough	"Griefing" new or inexperienced players in an online video game by constant picking comments
Suddenly has fewer friends	Texting hurtful or rude comments to someone’s phone
Acts differently than usual	Using chat, instant messaging or a blog to exclude people, pick on people or divide the "populars" from the "unpopulars"

Source: Stopbullying.gov

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Bystander effect – withheld intervention due to diffusion of responsibility

The Bystander effect also called Genovese syndrome is a social psychological phenomenon.

Murder case of Kitty Genovese (1964) – two consecutive attacks – no 911 call availed, six eye witnesses and 32 indirect bystanding witnesses didn't call the police.
Many of the witnesses reported that they did not realize that Kitty Genovese was actually being murdered. They believed that they were witnessing a "lover’s quarrel".
There is also neighborhood watch and the "mad mob effect".

Two major factors:

The presence of other people creates a diffusion of responsibility. Individuals do not feel as much pressure to take action.
The need to behave in correct and socially acceptable ways. When other observers fail to react, individuals often take this as a signal that a response is not needed or not appropriate.

Also, onlookers are less likely to intervene if the situation is ambiguous.

Sources:
- The Bystander Effect. What is the Bystander Effect?, About.com Guide, Kendra Cherry
- Kitty Genovese: What Really Happened?, podcast by Michael, 25. November 2007

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Appeasing the demons – as practiced by Tsultrim Allione

Appeasing the demons is an ancient Buddhist practice.
Continually feeding of the outer and inner demons and the elated and egocentric demons with wisdom nectar will eventually transform them for the better.

Female US American Lama Tsultrim Allione was recognized in Tibet as an incarnation of Machig Lapdrön, the eleventh century yogini. She is the author of Feeding your demons. Ancient Wisdom for Resolving Inner Conflict
⁶⁴ and Women of Wisdom⁶⁵

As an expert in transforming demons she suggests:

"Take the paradigm of feeding rather than fighting our own inner demons."

Allione adapted the wisdom of Tibet's greatest female spiritual master Machig Lapdrön, who lived in the 11th century. The story of Machig goes that the demons were so moved by her fearlessness and by her generosity, compassion, and the stability of her meditation that they said to her,

"Not only will we not harm you, but we will become your protectors and we will protect all of those who follow you."

The controversial and extremely successful teacher of her time Machig Lapdrön differentiated four types of demons:

Stage	Type of demon	What & Who	Description	Expression
1.	Outer demons	Strategy	Object related, perceived by the senses, one's own reaction to it	Reaction to a car accident, a mean relative, a boss; feeling threatened by a wild animal
2.	Inner demons	Strategy	Not object related, no sensous contact. They keep running like the mind does.	Depression, overeating, (serious) illness, addiction, fear of abandonment, anxiety, anger, greed, envy, obsession
3.	Demon of elation	Strategy	Abuse of power by achieved successful people	Amazing dreams, ego inflation, pride, abuse of power, fame, megalomania, self-centeredness
4.	Core demon of egocentricity	Strategizer	Arrogance, self-centeredness (at the core of all demons, most difficult to transpire its pervasiveness, normality)	Amazing dreams, ego inflation, pride, abuse of power, fame, megalomania, self-centeredness
Demons (disturbed aspects) are blocking the full presence in the moment.

The process of appeasing the inner demons

Meet your demon. Locate it in your body, sense it in color and in texture.
Intensify it and see your demon as impersonated.
Let it arise unedited, be it in humanoid or monstrous form.
Notice its details.
Look into your demon's eyes once you have it in front of your mind's eye and ask it:
1. What do you want? – Addiction (demands)
2. What do you need? – Deficiency mode (requests)
3. How will you feel if you get what you need? – Sense of relief (redemption)

Change places with where you saw the demon.
Adopt the shape and size and the emotional quality of the demon.
Now answer the questions raised above.
1. What do you want? – Icecream!
2. What do you need? – Security, comfort, relaxation
3. How will you feel if you get what you need? – Sense of security and relief
Wisdom nectar qualifies as an answer to the third question.

The protocol of appeasing the inner and outer demons is:

Feed the demon with wisdom nectar to the point of its satisfaction until the demon morphs or even dissolves completely. The remaining figure will be your ally.
Now meet the ally. Or call in the ally in to appear.
Ask the ally how it will protect you and how you can contact it.
Then ask the ally the series of three questions as above.
Change places, the seat of the ally, and answer the series of questions posed to the ally.
Come back to your original seat.
Then the ally will dissolve into you.
Feed the ally with wisdom nectar to the point of its satisfaction.
Both you and the ally will dissolve into awareness.

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards. They try to have more things or more money in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse.
You must first be who you really are
then do what you need to do
in order to have what you want.
Margaret Young (1891-1969) US American singer, comedienne

Source: Audio interview with Lama Tsultrim Allione on Nurturing our demons, presented by US American web radio station New Dimensions,
host Justine Willis Toms, Program #3253, minute 28:40, 2nd part of the MP3, 1 hour duration, aired 27. March 2008
Deutsch: Dämonenfütterung (Auflösung innerer Störenergien)
See also: Catch phrases corresponding to attractor fields

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Taming of violent young elephants / Die Zähmung von wilden Jungelefanten

How to tame wild young elephants?

Young bull elephants [in Africa] were acting strangely out of character – antisocial and aimlessly violent; they were stomping on VWs, pushing over trees for no reason, and even killing other small animals and baby elephants. [*]

Park rangers came in to study the problem [...] they discovered that there were no older bull elephants in that area. By some accident, all the older bulls had either died or been poached for their ivory, which left the teenage males to roam and forage out of control.

Their solution?⁶⁶

They brought in some older bulls from other areas by helicopter, lowered them onto the scene, and in a matter of weeks, amazingly, the whole situation had changed. Apparently, all the old bulls did was wave their ears and make various sounds or small charges, and somehow the younger male elephants understood through these communications that their behavior was not exactly the way growing up elephant boys should act. It seemed to be just that simple. Things soon returned to normal once the elders operated as elders.

[*] The violent acting out of young elephant bulls is due to the so called musth.

Father Richard Rohr O.F.M. (*1943) US American Franciscan friar,
Adam's Return. The Five Promises of Male Initiation, chapter 2, The Crossroad Publishing Company, 2004

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Links zum Thema Gewalt / Violence

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Literatur

Gerd Bohner, deutscher Professor für Sozialpsychologie, Vergewaltigungsmythen. Sozialpsychologische Untersuchungen über täterentlastende und opferfeindliche Überzeugungen im Bereich sexueller Gewalt, Landau, 1998

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Literatur (engl.)

Robert Jensen, US American professor of journalism, university of Austin, Texas, Getting Off. Pornography and the End of Masculinity, South End Press, 1st edition, 1. September 2007
Tsultrim Allione, female US American Lama, Feeding your demons. Ancient Wisdom for Resolving Inner Conflict, Little, Brown and Company, 1st edition, 8. April 2008
Gail Dines Ph.D., US American professor of sociology and women's studies, Wheelock College, Boston, anti-pornography campaigner, Pornland. How Porn has hijacked Our Sexuality, Beacon Press, 29. June 2010
David Livingstone Smith, Ph.D., US American associate professor of philosophy religious studies, UNE, psychoanalytic psychotherapist, founder of the New England Institute, Less Than Human: Why We Demean, Enslave and Exterminate Others, http://www.lessthanhumanbook.com/St. Martin's Press, first edition, 1. March 2011

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Externe Weblinks

Wikipedia-Einträge Gewalt, Gewaltlosigkeit, Gewaltfreie Kommunikation nach Marshall Rosenberg, Sexuelle Gewalt, Sexueller Missbrauch, Häufigkeit und Ablauf von Vergewaltigungen, PTST, Trauma, Traumatologie, seit 1984 international anerkannte Wissenschaftsdisziplin vom Opfer innerhalb der Psychiatrie , Vergewaltigung, Vergewaltigungsmythos Bagatellisierung sexueller Gewalt gegen Frauen, Zuschauereffekt

Interview mit Dr. Robert Jensen Am Ende angekommen: Pornografie und männliche Normalität, Magazin Fembio, Brigitta Huhnke, 16. März 2009
Studie zu Vergewaltigung in Südafrika. Jeder Vierte ein Vergewaltiger, n-tv, Panorama, 19. Juni 2009
Richter müssen sich fortbilden!, Zeitschrift EMMA, Dr. Julia Schellong, Oberärztin für Psychotraumatologie, Uniklinik Dresden, Mitglied beim „Traumanetz Sachsen“, Herbst 2010
Die unaussprechliche Katastrophe. Vergewaltigung von Männern in Kriegsgebieten, präsenteiert von Süddeutsche, Arne Perras, Kampala, 12. Januar 2012
Bericht über Studie von US-Wissenschaftlerin Lara Stemple von der Universität Los Angeles in Kongo und Liberia

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Externe Weblinks (engl.)

Wikipedia entries Bystander effect Genovese syndrome (social psychological phenomenon), Rape, Rape statistics, Violence

Gail Dines, US American professor of sociology and women's studies and others, Boston, promoter of Stop Porn Culture campaign
Janet Anderson, editor WCSAP, Rape Myths, Research and Advocacy Digest, volume 9/3, May 2007
Judith Reisman (*1935) US American cultural conservative writer, social critic of the work and legacy of Alfred Kinsey, president of the Institute for Media Education, author of "Kinsey, Crimes & Consequences", The impotence pandemic, presented by WorldNetDaily, 27. September 2007
Naomi Wolf (*1962) US American author, political consultant, spokeswoman of the third wave of the feminist movement, Is pornography driving men crazy? Could the widespread availability and consumption of pornography in recent years actually be rewiring the male brain?, presented by Aljazeera.net, 2. Jul 2011

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Audio- und Videolinks (engl.)

Video presentation by Jackson Katz Ph.D. (*1960) US American Masters Degree in Education, anti-domestic violence and gender violence prevention advocate, leading anti-sexist male activist, Tough Guise. Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity, presented by Mediaed.org, recorded 2000, Google film, 53:53 minutes duration, posted 2008
Tough Guise is the first educational video geared toward college and high school students to systematically examine the relationship between pop-cultural imagery and the social construction of masculine identities in the U.S. at the dawn of the 21st century.
Video presentation by Jackson Katz Ph.D. (*1960) US American Masters Degree in Education, anti-domestic violence and gender violence prevention advocate, leading anti-sexist male activist, Wrestling With Manhood: Boys, Bullying and Battering, presented by Mediaed.org, recorded 2002, YouTube film, 4:55 minutes duration, posted 4. October 2006
Oprah's Conversation with Child Molesters, presented by The Oprah Winfrey Show, host Oprah Winfrey, guests: four admitted child molesters in long-term therapy, one therapist, 2 hours duration, aired 8. February 2010
- Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Video presentation by James Gilligan, M.D., Ph.D., US American psychiatrist, violence expert, author, Violence, presented by Psychalive.org, YouTube film, 4:00 minutes duration, posted 20. October 2010
United States has the highest rates of violence in the developed world today.
Video presentation by James Gilligan, Ph.D., US American psychiatrist, violence expert, author, Violence, YouTube film, 4:00 minutes duration, posted 20. October 2010
Explaining why the United States has the highest rates of violence in the developed world today.
Video presentation by James Gilligan, Ph.D., US American psychiatrist, violence expert, author, Solving Violence, YouTube film, 4:00 minutes duration, posted 20. October 2010
Solving the most serious public health problem of the human species
Video interview with David Livingstone Smith, Ph.D., US American associate professor of philosophy religious studies, UNE, psychoanalytic psychotherapist, founder of the New England Institute, Less Than Human, presented by Portland Public Library, Brown Lag Lecture series 01, YouTube film, 6:13 minutes duration, posted 14. January 2011
Audio interview with David Livingstone Smith, Ph.D., US American associate professor of philosophy religious studies, UNE, psychoanalytic psychotherapist, founder of the New England Institute, Why We Demean, Enslave and Exterminate Others, MP3, presented by US radio station The Maine Public Broadcasting Network (MPBN), host Keith Shortall, 6:00 minutes duration, 16. January 2012

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Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Marshall Rosenberg

Video interview with Marshall B. Rosenberg, US American psychologist, promoter of Nonviolent Communication, What are the real roots of violence?, part 1 of 2, presented by Bigpicture.tv, 9:35 minutes duration, no date advised
"Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need."
"All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished."

Marshall B. Rosenberg, US American psychologist, promoter of Nonviolent Communication, Don't Do Anything That Isn't Play!
Translating Have to, to Choose
MR invited the audience to insult him. Someone shouted out 'dumb-ass'. He jokingly replied, "This could make me feel like a PPPPPT — pretty poor protoplasm poorly put together. When in 'jackal' mode (which most people are) we can respond to verbal abuse:
1. taking it personally, feel hurt, feel guilty, feel confused, become depressed.
2. judge the other person for judging us, feel angry.
When in 'giraffe' mode we listen moment by moment to what's alive in us and in the other person. Marshall B. Rosenberg, US American psychologist, promoter of Nonviolent Communication, Findhorn.org

Video interview with Marshall B. Rosenberg, US American psychologist, promoter of Nonviolent Communication, "Nonviolent Communication. A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values''

Video presentation by Marshall B. Rosenberg, US American psychologist, promoter of Nonviolent Communication, on Its amazing to hear his experience .... we can all do like wise, YouTube film, 9:55 minutes duration, posted 3. March 2009

Video lecture by Marshall B. Rosenberg, US American psychologist, promoter of Nonviolent Communication, on The Basics of Non Violent Communication, 1 day Introductory Workshop, San Francisco, California, April 2000, YouTube film, posted 5. April 2010
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 1.1, 9:11 minutes duration
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- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 1.2, 9:11 minutes duration
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- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 1.3, 9:11 minutes duration
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- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 1.4, 9:11 minutes duration
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- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 1.5, 9:11 minutes duration
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- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 1.6, 2:21 minutes duration
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- Expressing needs and requests
  The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.1, 9:01 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.2, 9:11 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.3, 9:11 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.4, 9:11 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 2.5, 7:33 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.1, 9:01 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.2, 9:11 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.3, 9:11 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.4, 9:11 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.5, 9:11 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 3.6, 7:42 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 4.1, 9:01 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 4.2, 9:11 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 4.3, 9:11 minutes duration
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 4.4, 9:11 minutes duration
  Celebration of life, no blame – no praise, no punishment – no rewards
- The Basics of Non Violent Communication, part 4.5, 6:44 minutes duration
  Expressing and receiving appreciation and gratitude; false humility

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Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Sex addiction; Patrick Carnes

Video interview with Patrick Carnes Ph.D. C.A.S., leading US American sex addiction specialist on Addictive society, sex addiction, Internet Porn, YouTube film, posted 4. June 2010
Pine Grove Hospital, Hattisburg, Mississippi, USA offers a 6-week residential program (30-task-model) for addiction treatment.
- Pine Grove's Gentle Path, part 1 of 3, 7:35 minutes duration
- Pine Grove's Gentle Path, part 2 of 3, 6:51 minutes duration
- Pine Grove's Gentle Path, part 3 of 3, 7:29 minutes duration

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Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Internet pornography addiction; Dr. Gail Dines and Robert Jensen

Video interview with Gail Dines, US American professor of sociology and women's studies, Wheelock College, Boston, anti-pornography campaigner, author of Pornland. How Porn has hijacked Our Sexuality, 29. June 2010 on Pornland, YouTube film, 11:54 minutes duration, posted 6. August 2010
Video interview with Gail Dines, US American professor of sociology and women's studies, Wheelock College, Boston, anti-pornography campaigner, on Crusade Against Porn, sponsored by Book TV, presented by MOXNews.com, C-SPAN2, 4. September 2010, YouTube film, posted 6. September 2010
Social and cultural impact of pornography in American society. Boys first view porn at the average age of 11.5 years resulting in an unhealthy understanding of sexuality.
- One Woman's Crusade Against Porn, part 1 of 3, 13:24 minutes duration
- One Woman's Crusade Against Porn, part 2 of 3, 14:48 minutes duration
- One Woman's Crusade Against Porn, part 3 of 3, 6:58 minutes duration
Video interview with Gail Dines, US American professor of sociology and women's studies, Wheelock College, Boston, anti-pornography campaigner, on The pitfalls of porn, presented by AlJazeera English TV, host Riz Khan, YouTube film, 22:33 minutes duration, posted 16. September 2010
The global reach of explicit pornography via the internet creates addicts, desensitizes men and degrades, debases, dehumanizes and objectifies women.
Audio interview with Gail Dines, US American professor of sociology and women's studies, Wheelock College, Boston, anti-pornography campaigner, author of Pornland. How Porn has hijacked Our Sexuality, 29. June 2010 and Melinda Tankard Reist on Has porn hijacked our sexuality?, presented by web radio program ABC RN Late Night Live, host Phillip Adams, 55 minutes duration, aired 27. October 2010
One in five men who look at [ Internet ] pornography are [porn] addicted. Article in Adult Video News (pornography industry publication), minute 24:16.

Video interview with Robert Jensen, US American professor of journalism, University of Austin, Texas, feminist, pornography critic on Misogyny in pornography, presented by Mediamouse.org, YouTube film, posted 10. October 2007
- Getting off Pornography and the End of Masculinity, part 1 of 4, 7:39 minutes duration
  The impact of pornography and its impact on men, discussing pornography in terms of morality and religion, Jensen's discussion of his personal history and relationship with pornography and masculinity
- Getting off Pornography and the End of Masculinity, part 2 of 4, 9:07 minutes duration
  Impact of watching pornography as a researcher and feminist critic;
  pornography, sexuality and male domination as a form of media literacy
- Getting off Pornography and the End of Masculinity, part 3 of 4, 5:35 minutes duration
  Difficulties in confronting the realities of patriarchy, and how men and women respond to the notion of moving beyond dominating masculinity and feminity roles
- Getting off Pornography and the End of Masculinity, part 4 of 4, 4:53 minutes duration
  The challenges of bringing the feminist anti-pornography movement into the same level of immediacy in the left as the anti-racist, anti-imperialist, and anti-capitalist movements
Video interview with Robert Jensen, US American professor of journalism, University of Austin, Texas, feminist, pornography critic on Degradation of women in mainstream pornography, presented by host Rosa Cular, YouTube film, posted 24. December 2007
- Overcoming the misogynistic culture of pornography, part 1 of 5, 9:27 minutes duration
  Crucial questions about pornography, manhood, and paths toward genuine social justice
- Overcoming the misogynistic culture of pornography, part 2 of 5, 10:24 minutes duration
- Overcoming a misogynistic culture of pornography, part 3 of 5, 8:59 minutes duration
- Overcoming a misogynistic culture of pornography, part 4 of 5, 10:18 minutes duration
- Overcoming a misogynistic culture of pornography, part 5 of 5, 7:38 minutes duration
Video interview with Robert Jensen, US American professor of journalism, University of Austin, Texas, feminist, pornography critic on The culture of pornography and the anti-pornography movement, presented by The F-Files. Dialog on Feminism, feminist radio show, Connecticut, USA, hosts and interviewers Jackie Asrenuk and Deric Shannon, Ph.D. student in sociology, University of Austin, Texas, YouTube film, posted 23. February 2008
- "F Files", part 1 of 6, 10:04 minutes duration
- "F Files", part 2 of 6, 9:40 minutes duration
- "F Files", part 3 of 6, 10:29 minutes duration
  The reason why pornography is so popular is because it works [very effectiveley]. It delivers what it promises. It delivers sexual pleasure. For most men who watch pornography it is a masturbation facilitator. minute 3:42
- "F Files", part 4 of 6, 9:50 minutes duration
- "F Files", part 5 of 6, 10:04 minutes duration
- "F Files", part 6 of 6, 6:46 minutes duration

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Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Internet pornography addiction; Gary Wilson et al.

Video documentation on Pornography addiction, a health hazard that western culture, written and directed by Jonathan Schneider, YouTube film
Internet pornography is NOT harmless. Interviews with sociologists, psychologists, scientists and law enforcement officials detail the negative side effects of pornography consumption.
- A Drug Called Pornography. Understanding, part 1 of 7, 6:59 minutes duration, posted 3. October 2007
- A Drug Called Pornography. Understanding, part 2 of 7, 6:02 minutes duration, posted 12. November 2007
- A Drug Called Pornography. Understanding, part 3 of 7, 6:59 minutes duration, posted 12. November 2007
- A Drug Called Pornography. Understanding, part 4 of 7, 8:06 minutes duration, posted 12. November 2007
- A Drug Called Pornography. Understanding, part 5 of 7, 9:28 minutes duration, posted 12. November 2007
- A Drug Called Pornography. Understanding, part 6 of 7, 8:44 minutes duration, posted 12. November 2007
- A Drug Called Pornography. Understanding, part 7 of 7, 6:58 minutes duration, posted 12. November 2007

Animated video series by Gary Wilson, US American science teacher, presented by BodyWisdomVideos on the relationship between pornography and brain circuits, YouTube animation, posted 6. June 2010
- Things You Didn't Know About Porn, part 1 of 3, 9:24 minutes duration
- Things You Didn't Know About Porn, part 2 of 3, 9:49 minutes duration
- Things You Didn't Know About Porn, part 3 of 3, 7:30 minutes duration
  - Full audio MP3 file

Video presentation directed to Youth and Parents by Donald L. Hilton Jr., MD, neurological surgeon, on Pornography and its impact on the Brain, presented by SA Lifeline Foundation, YouTube film, 13:23 minutes duration, posted 8. September 2010

Video Series by Gary Wilson, US American science teacher, on Your Brain On Porn, YouTube films, posted 31. December 2010
- Orgasm and libido occur in the brain, part 1 of 2, 10:57 minutes duration
- Dopamine: molecule of addiction, part 2 of 6, 13:43 minutes duration
- Your Brain On Porn: Porn Addiction; no specific subtitle, part 3 of 6, 13:54 minutes duration
- Binge mechanism, part 4 of 6, 12:04 minutes duration
- Your Brain On Porn: Porn Addiction; no specific subtitle, part 5 of 6, 11:28 minutes duration
- Reboot: Restore reward circuit sensitivity, part 6 of 6, 7:06 minutes duration
Video presentation by Gary Wilson, US American science teacher on Erectile Dysfunction and Porn, YouTube film, presented by BodyWisdomVideos, posted 10. and 11. February 2011
Physiology of erections, ED, virtual overstimulation, recovery from Internet porn
Love is an addiction based on porn.
- Erectile Dysfunction and Porn, part 1 of 4, 12:46 minutes duration
- Erectile Dysfunction and Porn, part 2 of 4, 11:53 minutes duration
- Erectile Dysfunction and Porn, part 3 of 4, 12:46 minutes duration
- Erectile Dysfunction and Porn, part 4 of 4, 9:46 minutes duration

---

Video presentation by Philip Zimbardo (*1933) US American professor emeritus in psychology, Stanford University, The demise of guys?, presented by TED Talks, 4:47 minutes duration, filmed March 2011, posted August 2011

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Interne Links

Englisch

Dignity

Hawkins

¹ Vergewaltigung – Anschlag auf Körper und Seele, präsentiert von gegen-sex-gewalt.de, e110, 28. Mai 2005 ⇑

² Ergebnis der ersten Studie ''Nationale Repräsentativuntersuchung zu Gewalt gegen Frauen in Deutschland. Offizieller Titel „Lebenssituation, Sicherheit und Gesundheit von Frauen in Deutschland“ i. A. des bundesdeutschen Bundesministeriiums für Familie, Senioren, Frauen und Jugend, 2004 ⇑

³ P. Wetzels und C. Pfeiffer, Sexualisierte Gewalt gegen Frauen im öffentlichen und privaten Raum (Materialien zur Frauenpolitik, 48). Bonn: BMFSFJ, 1995 ⇑

⁴ D.G.Kilpatrick and C.L. Best, Sexual assault victims: data from a random national probability sample, presented at the 36th Annual Meeting of the Southeastern Psychological Association, Atlanta, Georgia, 1990 ⇑

⁵ Petra Hildenbrandt, Psychische und psychosomatische Folgen sexualisierter Gewalt und damit zusammenhängende Mängel in der gesundheitlichen Versorgung, 2003 ⇑

⁶ Vergewaltigung. Mord an der Seele, Spiegel, 3. August 1981 ⇑

⁷ Vergewaltigung. Mord an der Seele, Spiegel, 3. August 1981 ⇑

⁸ Vergewaltigungen in Deutschland; Statistik, BV-FGG.de ⇑

⁹ Vergleichsstudie zur sexueller Gewalt in Europa, London Metropolitan University, 2009 ⇑

¹⁰ Webdoc.sub.gwdg.de, S. 73 ⇑

¹¹ United Nations Commission on the Status of Women, 2000
sh. Frauenstatuskommission der Vereinten Nationen ⇑

¹² Nicola Brosi, Untersuchung zur Akzeptanz von Vergewaltigungsmythen in verschiedenen Bevölkerungsgruppen, Dissertation, Medizinische Fakultät der Ludwig-Maximilians-Universität, München, 16. Dezember 2004 ⇑

¹³ Studie des Bundesfamilienministeriums ⇑

¹⁴ Nicola Brosi, Untersuchung zur Akzeptanz von Vergewaltigungsmythen in verschiedenen Bevölkerungsgruppen, 2004 ⇑

¹⁵ LMU München, Med. Fakultät, durchgeführt von Nicola Brosi, Dezember 2004 ⇑

¹⁶ Nicola Brosi, Untersuchung zur Akzeptanz von Vergewaltigungsmythen in verschiedenen Bevölkerungsgruppen, Dissertation, Medizinische Fakultät der Ludwig-Maximilians-Universität, München, 16. Dezember 2004 ⇑

¹⁷ Siehe Studie von Dr. Hans Morschitzky, Wien, an über 1500 Vergewaltigungsopfern ⇑

¹⁸ Von 7789 Frauen "träumten" nicht einmal 0,7 Prozent von Vergewaltigung. Kinsey-Befragung, etwa 1980 ⇑

¹⁹ Groth, 1979 ⇑

²⁰ Martha R. Burt, Rape myths and acquaintance rape, In: A. Parrot und L. Bechhofer (Hg.), Acquaintance Rape. The Hidden Crime, New York. S. 28ff (26-40) 1991 ⇑

²¹ Bohner, 1998 ⇑

²² Koss, Leonard, Beezley und Oros, 1985 ⇑

²³ Malamuth, 1981 ⇑

²⁴ Ogi Jonathan Ogas US American cognitive neuroscientist, Dr. Sai Gaddam, Bachelor of Technology Boston University, A Billion Wicked Thoughts. What the World's Largest Experiment Reveals about Human Desire, A Billion Wicked Thoughts, Dutton Adult, 5. May 2011 ⇑

²⁵ Umfrageergebnis bei mehr als 1000 Befragten im Auftrag von BBC Radio 1 Newsbeat, veröffentlicht in DNews.de, 22. April 2011 ⇑

²⁶ Survey for BBC Radio 1 Newsbeat with more than 1000 respondents, Men view 2 hours of porn a week, presented by the British The Sun, 21. April 2011 ⇑

²⁷ Statistisches Jahrbuch der Bundesrepublik Deutschland, 1999 ⇑

²⁸ Result of the first representative study on violence against women ''Nationale Repräsentativuntersuchung zu Gewalt gegen Frauen in Deutschland. Offizieller Titel „Lebenssituation, Sicherheit und Gesundheit von Frauen in Deutschland“ in Germany on behalf of the German Bundesministerin für Familie, Senioren, Frauen und Jugend [Federal Ministry of Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth]], 2004 ⇑

²⁹ Rapes in Germany; Statistics, BV-FGG.de ⇑

³⁰ Comparative study on sexual violence in Europe, London Metropolitan University, 2009 ⇑

³¹ Webdoc.sub.gwdg.de, pg. 73 ⇑

³² U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Homicide Trends in the U.S.: Gender ⇑

³³ Bass, A. (1992, February 24). "Women far less likely to kill than men; no one sure why." The Boston Globe, pp. 27 ⇑

³⁴ Stark, E. (1990). Rethinking homicide: Violence, race, and the politics of gender. International Journal of Health and Services, 20(1): 18 ⇑

³⁵ Violence Against Women, A Majority Staff Report, Committee on the Judiciary, United States Senate, 102nd Congress, October 1992, p. 2 ⇑

³⁶ U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Sourcebook of Criminal Justice Statistics Online ⇑

³⁷ Douglas, H. (1991). Assessing violent couples. Families in Society, 72 (9): 525-535 ⇑

³⁸ Paymar, M. (2000). ''Violent no more: Helping men end domestic abuse. Alameda, CA: Hunter House Publications ⇑

³⁹ National Crime Statistics, USA ⇑

⁴⁰ U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics ⇑

⁴¹ Thoringer, D., Krivackska, J., Laye-McDonough, M., Jarrison, L., Vincent, O., & Hedlund, A. (1988). Prevention of child sexual abuse: An analysis of issues, educational programs and research findings. School Psychology Review, 17(4): 614-636]] ⇑

⁴² U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justic Statistics ⇑

⁴³ AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety, "Aggressive Driving." ⇑

⁴⁴ 1997 National Household Survey on Drug Abuse. ⇑

⁴⁵ The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration ⇑

⁴⁶ Justice Department, November 1997 ⇑

⁴⁷ National Center for Health Statistics, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1993 ⇑

⁴⁸ Health.org/dawn 2010 ⇑

⁴⁹ The Statistics Canada Homicide in Canada 2000 ⇑

⁵⁰ Police and Crime Summary Statistics for B.C. in 2000 ⇑

⁵¹ Canadian Crime Statistics, 2000 report ⇑

⁵² United Nations Commission on the Status of Women, 2000 ⇑

⁵³ National Victim Center and Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, 1992 ⇑

⁵⁴ National Victim Center and Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center ⇑

⁵⁵ Thoringer, School Psychology Review, 17 (4):614-636) ⇑

⁵⁶ U.S. Department of Justice, 1991 ⇑

⁵⁷ FBI crime statistics ⇑

⁵⁸ Kinsey Report, um 1980 ⇑

⁵⁹ The Orange County Rape Crisis Center has worked with victims from infancy to ninety-two years of age and from all racial and socioeconomic backgrounds. ⇑

⁶⁰ According to statistics of study Rape in America, 1992, National Victim Center, The Federal Bureau of Investigations and the ''National Crime Survey ⇑

⁶¹ 44% of the rapes reported to the Orange County Rape Crisis Center occurred in the victim's home in 1991. ⇑

⁶² Orange County Rape Crisis Center ⇑

⁶³ As reported to the Orange County Rape Crisis Center ⇑

⁶⁴ Tsultrim Allione, female US American Lama, Feeding your demons. Ancient Wisdom for Resolving Inner Conflict, Little, Brown and Company, 1st edition, 8. April 2008 ⇑

⁶⁵ Tsultrim Allione, female US American Lama, Women of Wisdom, Snow Lion Publications, revised 2000 ⇑

⁶⁶ Ear flapping elders ⇑

↑ Zum Anfang

Letzte Bearbeitung:
21.04.2012 um 22:31 Uhr

Info

Impressum

Nutzungsbedingungen

Übersicht

Linksammlung

Portale

Gewalt – Gewaltlosigkeit
Trauma – Traumaheilung

Grundsätze der Gewaltfreien Kommunikation nach Marshall B. Rosenberg

Vergewaltigungsstatistik in Deutschland

Südafrikas schockierender Vergewaltigungsrekord

Vergewaltigungsmythen

Kollektive Verleugnungsmatrix angesichts von Tabus

Statistisches zur Internet-Pornographie – Online Education

Gewalttätiges Verhalten ist geschlechtsspezifisch.

Zitate zum Thema Gewalt / Violence

Zitate allgemein

Zitate von Marshall B. Rosenberg

Zitate (engl.) allgemein

Zitate (engl.) – Marshall B. Rosenberg

Zitate (engl.) – Andrea Dworkin

Englische Texte – English section on Violence

Statistics on sexual crimes, rape especially – Germany

Statistical data on violence against women – USA and Canada

Shocking rape record – South Africa and Congo

Rape myths – a result of cultural denial

Collective denial patterns – Breaking Taboos

Preventing domestic and gender violence – ten attitudes of aware men

Statistical data on school bullying – Canada

Facts, myths, and signs of bullying at school, at the workplace, in the cyberworld

Bystander effect – withheld intervention due to diffusion of responsibility

Appeasing the demons – as practiced by Tsultrim Allione

Taming of violent young elephants / Die Zähmung von wilden Jungelefanten

Links zum Thema Gewalt / Violence

Literatur

Literatur (engl.)

Externe Weblinks

Externe Weblinks (engl.)

Audio- und Videolinks (engl.)

Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Marshall Rosenberg

Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Sex addiction; Patrick Carnes

Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Internet pornography addiction; Dr. Gail Dines and Robert Jensen

Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Internet pornography addiction; Gary Wilson et al.

Interne Links

Übersicht

Linksammlung

Portale

Gewalt – GewaltlosigkeitTrauma – Traumaheilung

Grundsätze der Gewaltfreien Kommunikation nach Marshall B. Rosenberg

Vergewaltigungsstatistik in Deutschland

Südafrikas schockierender Vergewaltigungsrekord

Vergewaltigungsmythen

Kollektive Verleugnungsmatrix angesichts von Tabus

Statistisches zur Internet-Pornographie – Online Education

Gewalttätiges Verhalten ist geschlechtsspezifisch.

Zitate zum Thema Gewalt / Violence

Zitate allgemein

Zitate von Marshall B. Rosenberg

Zitate (engl.) allgemein

Zitate (engl.) – Marshall B. Rosenberg

Zitate (engl.) – Andrea Dworkin

Englische Texte – English section on Violence

Statistics on sexual crimes, rape especially – Germany

Statistical data on violence against women – USA and Canada

Shocking rape record – South Africa and Congo

Rape myths – a result of cultural denial

Collective denial patterns – Breaking Taboos

Preventing domestic and gender violence – ten attitudes of aware men

Statistical data on school bullying – Canada

Facts, myths, and signs of bullying at school, at the workplace, in the cyberworld

Bystander effect – withheld intervention due to diffusion of responsibility

Appeasing the demons – as practiced by Tsultrim Allione

Taming of violent young elephants / Die Zähmung von wilden Jungelefanten

Links zum Thema Gewalt / Violence

Literatur

Literatur (engl.)

Externe Weblinks

Externe Weblinks (engl.)

Audio- und Videolinks (engl.)

Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Marshall Rosenberg

Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Sex addiction; Patrick Carnes

Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Internet pornography addiction; Dr. Gail Dines and Robert Jensen

Audio- und Videolinks (engl.) – Internet pornography addiction; Gary Wilson et al.

Interne Links

Gewalt – Gewaltlosigkeit
Trauma – Traumaheilung