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KommunikationVerständigungVerstehen

 

 

Abram's Counsel to Sarai (1896-1902)
French painter James Jacques Joseph Tissot (1836-1902) Jewish Museum, New York City

Dass wir miteinander reden können,
macht uns zu Menschen.

Karl Jaspers (1883-1969) deutsch-Schweizer Psychiater, interkultureller Philosoph,
Vertreter der Existenzphilosophie

 


 

Mangelnde Kommunikation unter Eheleuten


Primavera
Sandro Botticelli (1445-1510) italienischer Maler

Das Unternehmen Priority Management Pittsburgh Inc. hat in einer Three-Times-Study im Jahr 1988 ermittelt, dass ein US-amerikanisches Ehepaar täglich nur vier Minuten für das gemeinsame Gespräch aufbringt.

 

Das Ergebnis einer repräsentativen Umfrage in der Bundesrepublik1 lautete:

"Die meisten Ehen verlaufen gleichgültig oder unglücklich."

 

Frauen, gesellschaftlich benachteiligter, belasteter und ehrlicher, sind in Beziehungsfragen skeptischer als Männer.
Es werden weniger Ehen geschlossen, und mehr Ehen werden geschieden.
Da jede dritte Ehe zerbricht, lassen viele Paare sich erst gar nicht aufs Heiraten ein.
Das Schweigen und die Beziehungslosigkeit in der Beziehung ist Alltag geworden.
Es bedeutet doppelte Einsamkeit.

Zugewandte Zwiegespräche

Intensiver, aufrichtiger Austausch von täglich mindestens einer halben Stunde kann der Stabilisator einer nachhaltigen Beziehung sein.

 

Zugewandte Zwiegespräche sind ein Weg, die dreifache Sprachlosigkeit zu überwinden:

1. SprachlosigkeitWir sprechen wenig miteinander. Auch in Monologen.
2. SprachlosigkeitWir sprechen technisch und sachlich.
Mechanistisches Sprechen gilt als Kennzeichen narzisstischer Störungen.
3. SprachlosigkeitWir sprechen mediengesteuert.

 

Bringt ein Partner in einer Auseinandersetzung die 'objektive Wahrheit' vor, sagt, wie es 'wirklich' ist, so kolonialisiert er. Er versucht, sein Gegenüber in seine eigene Realität zu vereinnahmen.

Vier Botschaften des Kommunikationsquadrats – Schulz von Thun


Vier-Seiten-Modell der Kommunikation nach Friedemann Schulz von Thun
Kommunikationsquadrat – Friedemann Schulz von Thun
༺༻ Art der
Botschaft
Aspekt des QuadrantenAussage
Frage
Anmerkung
1.Sachverhalts-
information
ESWorüber informiere ich?Reine Sachaussagen, Daten und Fakten
2.SelbstoffenbarungICHWas gebe ich von mir zu erkennen?Der Sprecher bezeugt – bewusst oder unbewusst – Aspekte seines Selbstverständnisses und Weltbildes, seiner Motive, seines Werte(katalog)s und seiner Gefühlslage.
3.Beziehungs-
hinweis
DU-ICHWas halte ich von dir?
Wie stehe ich zu dir?
Empfindungen zum Verhältnis der involvierten Dialogpartner
4.AppellDU/ESWas möchte ich bei dir erreichen?Wunsch oder Handlungsaufforderung
Quelle: ► Prof. Friedemann Schulz von Thun (*1944) deutscher Psychologe, Kommunikationswissenschaftler,
Gründer des Schulz von Thun-Instituts für Kommunikation
Referenz: ► Kommunikationsquadrat

 

Acht Kommunikationsstile – Friedrich Schulz von Thun

  1. Bedürftig-abhängiger Kommunikationsstil
  2. Helfender Kommunikationsstil
  3. Selbst-loser Kommunikationsstil
  4. Aggressiv-entwertender Kommunikationsstil
  5. Sich beweisender Kommunikationsstil
  6. Bestimmender-kontrollierender Kommunikationsstil
  7. Sich distanzierender Kommunikationsstil
  8. Mitteilungsfreudig-dramatisierender Kommunikationsstil
Referenz: de.Wikipedia-Eintrag Acht Kommunikationsstile

Die Geschichte von Jeder (KEINER), Jemand, Irgendeiner (ALLE) und Niemand

Vier Kollegen namens
JEDER (KEINER),
JEMAND,
IRGENDEINER (ALLE),
NIEMAND
waren beauftragt, eine wichtige Arbeit zu erledigen.

 

JEDER war überzeugt,
dass sich IRGENDEINER darum kümmern würde,
doch NIEMAND führte es aus.
JEMAND wurde wütend,
weil es JEDERs Arbeit war.
JEDER dachte,
dass IRGENDEINER die Arbeit schon machen würde,
doch NIEMAND machte sich bewusst,
dass KEINER sie tatsächlich in Angriff nahm.
Schließlich beschuldigte JEDER JEMANDEN,
weil NIEMAND die Arbeit tat,
die letztlich ALLE hätten tun können.

 

Quelle unbekannt

Zitate zum Thema Kommunikation / Communication

Zitate allgemein

Empfehlungen

  • Nicht viel, sondern wahr soll man reden. Demokrit (~460-370 v. Chr.) altgriechischer vorsokratischer Naturphilosoph
  • Das Medium ist die Botschaft. Zentrale These von Marshall McLuhan (1911-1980) kanadischer Professor für englische Literatur, Literaturkritiker, Philosoph, Geisteswissenschaftler, Kommunikationstheoretiker, Rhetoriker, Dozent, Herbert M. McLuhan, Das Medium ist die Botschaft, Philo Verlagsgesellschaft, März 2009

 

  • Die Form folgt der Funktion. Louis Henri Sullivan ['Vater der Wolkenkratzer'] (1856-1924) US-amerikanischer Architekt, FFF-Formel, 1886

 

  • Ein soziales System kommt zustande, wenn immer ein autopoietischer Kommunikationszusammenhang entsteht und sich durch Einschränkung der geeigneten Kommunikation gegen eine Umwelt abgrenzt. Soziale Systeme bestehen demnach nicht aus Menschen, auch nicht aus Handlungen, sondern aus Kommunikationen. Niklas Luhmann (1927-1998) deutscher Soziologe, transdisziplinärer Sozialwissenschaftler, Gesellschaftstheoretiker, Begründer der soziologischen Systemtheorie, Ökologische Kommunikation, S. 269, 1986, Springer-Verlag, 2004

 


Example of an autopoietic system:
3D representation of a living cell during the process of mitosis
  • Als lebende Systeme existieren wir in vollständiger Einsamkeit innerhalb der Grenzen unserer individuellen Autopoiëse. Nur dadurch, dass wir mit anderen durch konsensuelle Bereiche Welten schaffen, schaffen wir uns eine Existenz, die diese unsere fundamentale Einsamkeit übersteigt, ohne sie jedoch aufheben zu können. [...] Wir können uns nicht sehen, wenn wir uns nicht in unseren Interaktionen mit anderen sehen lernen und dadurch, dass wir die anderen als Spiegelungen unserer selbst sehen, auch uns selbst als Spiegelung des anderen sehen. Humberto Maturana (*1928) chilenischer Biologe, Mitentwickler des Konzepts der Autopoiesis, Philosoph, radikaler Konstruktivist, Autor, Siegfried J. Schmidt, Herausgeber, Der Diskurs des Radikalen Konstruktivismus, Kapitel Kognition, S. 117, Frankfurt am Main, 1987

 

  • Jedes Kind lernt in der Schule, dass Bewegung etwas Relatives ist und nur in Relation auf einen Bezugspunkt wahrgenommen werden kann. Was man dagegen leicht übersieht, ist, dass dasselbe Prinzip für alle Wahrnehmungen gilt und daher letzthin unser Erleben der äußeren Wirklichkeit bestimmt. Paul Watzlawick (1921-2007) österreichisch-amerikanischer Kommunikationsforscher, Beavin, Janet H. Beavin, Don D. Jackson, Menschliche Kommunikation. Formen, Störungen, Paradoxien, S. 23, Huber Hans, Bern, 1967, 1969, März 2000, 11. unveränderte Auflage 2007

 

 

  • Was Menschen tun, um ein Problem zu lösen, ist oft genau das, was das Problem hervorruft. Paul Watzlawick (1921-2007) österreichisch-amerikanischer Kommunikationsforscher, Aphorismus, Quelle unbekannt

 

  • Es sind die Hormone, die die Strukturen unseres Gehirns bereits im Mutterleib verändern. Acht Wochen lang haben alle Föten dasselbe weibliche Gehirn, dann setzt bei männlichen Embryos die Testosteronversorgung ein. Sie zerstört Zellen im Kommunikationszentrum des Gehirns und baut diejenigen des Aggressions- und Sexualitätszentrums aus, während der für Kommunikation und Verarbeitung zuständige Bereich bei weiblichen Embryos ungestört weiterwächst. Bei der Geburt besitzt das weibliche Gehirn durchschnittlich elf Prozent mehr von jener Gehirnmasse, die der Kommunikation und der Verarbeitung von Emotionen und Erinnerungen dient, als das männliche. Kurz gesagt: Frauen haben einen achtspurigen Highway, um ihre Gefühle auszudrücken, Männer nur eine Landstraße. Dr. Louann Brizendine louannbrizendine.com (*1952) US-amerikanische Neuropsychiaterin, Professorin für Neurobiologie, UCB, Referentin, populärwissenschaftliche Erfolgsautorin von Das weibliche Gehirn, zitiert in: Artikel Wir müssen Geduld mit den Männern haben, präsentiert von der deutschen überregionalen Tageszeitung Die Welt, 21. Februar 2007

 

  • Im Bereich des Geistes ist das, was man als wahr erachtet, entweder wahr oder wird, innerhalb gewisser Grenzen, wahr. Diese Grenzen müssen durch Erfahrungen und Experimente gefunden werden. Einmal entdeckt, sind diese Grenzen weitere Anschauungen, die transzendiert werden müssen.
    Im gegenwärtigen Geist schafft der Körper klar umrissene Grenzen. Diese Grenzen müssen mit Hilfe körperlicher Ertüchtigung erweitert werden. Sind sie einmal erweitert, findet man heraus, dass die ursprünglichen Grenzen transzendiert und neue Grenzen errichtet wurden. Die neu erweiterten körperlichen Grenzen helfen, die Begrenzung des Geistes zu erweitern. [...]
    Die Begrenzungen, die der Kommunikation über diese neuen Bereiche des Geistes mit anderen Geistern auferlegt, sind, wurde ebenfalls festgestellt: Ist man erst einmal tief in seinem tiefen und tieferen Selbst gewesen (es vertieft sich mit jedem Mal, wo man der Isolation ausgesetzt ist), muss auch die Fähigkeit, Daten weiterzuleiten, zunehmen. Ich stellte fest, dass die meisten (nicht alle) anderen Köpfe nicht bereit sind, zu hören, zu verstehen, zu begreifen, was es bedeutet, innerhalb solcher Forschungsarbeiten zu entdecken, zu experimentieren, in ihnen aufzugehen. Gewisse Bereiche des Geistes, gewisse Seinszustände, gewisse Zustände des eigenen Bewusstseins sind für die meisten anderen Geister so fremd, so unheimlich, so sonderbar, so ungewohnt, dass sie weder zuhören können, was man sagt, noch lesen können, was man schreibt, ohne aus der Fassung zu geraten beziehungsweise, nicht voreingenommen gegenüber dem Forscher zu sein, womit sie das ganze Bemühen, darüber zu sprechen, als negativ einstufen oder für null und nichtig erklären. Ich habe einige wenige gefunden, die das nicht tun. John C. Lilly, Antonietta Lena Lilly (Ehepaar), Der Dyadische Zyklon. Innere und Äussere Entwicklungen zweier Zentren – eines Paares, später Ein Paar Werden, Sphinx Verlag, 1983

 

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Transparente Kommunikation

  • Eine gewohnte Kommunikation erweitert sich um Quantensprünge, wenn wir lernen, die inneren Erfahrungsräume des Gegenübers wahrzunehmen. Wenn alle alles von allen sehen, wenn die Welten, in denen Menschen leben, für uns offensichtlich werden, wenn wir nichts mehr privatisieren und alles für alle transparent ist, entsteht eine neue Basis an Interaktion und Erkenntnis. Wir nennen dies transparente Kommunikation – sie ist die Grundlage eines neuen Wir.
    Der nächste Evolutionsschritt für die Menschheit als Kollektiv beinhaltet eine neue Dimension von Wir – ein Wir, das von einer geringeren interpersonellen Reibung geprägt ist und somit ein höheres Potenzial an Intelligenz verströmt. Thomas Hübl (*1971) österreichischer Medizinstudent, spiritueller Lehrer, PDF Transparente Kommunikation, präsentiert von Academy of Inner Science, S. 1 von 8, undatiert

 

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Metakommunikation

  • Bei der Metakommunikation wird die Art und Weise, wie Sender und Empfänger miteinander umgehen beleuchtet. Das Gespräch wird verlassen. Der Prozess wird von oben, aus der Metaebene betrachtet. Aus dieser übergeordneten Sicht wird beschrieben, wie das Gespräch verläuft.
    Die Metakommunikation wird im Alltag wenig genutzt. Viele scheuen sich, über das Gespräch zu reden, obwohl dies oft befreiend wirken kann. Möglicherweise ist die Scheu darin begründet: dass Metakommunikation Mut verlangt und die Bereitschaft, die eigene Wahrnehmung zu offenbaren. Definition von Rhetorik.ch

 

  • Diskussionen haben nur dann einen Sinn, wenn man nicht von vorneherein entschlossen ist, Recht zu behalten. Hans Clarin (1929-2005) deutscher Schauspieler, Synchronsprecher, Quelle unbekannt

Die Sprachlosigkeit der Paare ist im Klartext Beziehungslosigkeit.
Michael Lukas Moeller (1937-2002) deutscher Professor für Seelische Gesundheit (1973-1983), Psychoanalytiker, Paartherapeut, Autor, Die Wahrheit beginnt zu zweit. Das Paar im Gespräch, S. 35, Rowohlt Sachbuch, Erstauflage 1988, 26. Auflage Januar 1997, 31. Auflage 2010

Glückliche Paare unterscheiden sich von unglücklichen gerade durch die Intensität ihrer Gespräche. Sie reden nicht nur, weil sie glücklich sind. Vielmehr werden sie glücklich, weil sie reden.
Michael Lukas Moeller (1937-2002) deutscher Professor für Seelische Gesundheit (1973-1983), Psychoanalytiker, Paartherapeut, Autor, Die Wahrheit beginnt zu zweit. Das Paar im Gespräch, S. 43, Rowohlt Sachbuch, Erstauflage 1988, 26. Auflage Januar 1997, 31. Auflage 2010

General quotes

Personal avowals

  • So if I say I lived with nothing but words, I don't mean that my life was empty. Far from it – my silent room was filled with a busy traffic of communication. Nuala O'Faolain (1940-2008) Irish journalist, TV producer, book reviewer, teacher, author, autobiography Almost There, S. 150, Riverhead Trade, 6. April 2004

 

  • [Marco Polo to Kublai Khan]: I speak and speak, […] but the listener retains only the words he is expecting. […] It is not the voice that commands the story: it is the ear. Marco Polo (1254-1324) Italian merchant traveller from Venice, cited in Italo Calvino, Invisible Cities, chapter 9, 1974

 

  • I don't believe one writes for oneself. I think that writing is an act of love – you write in order to give something to someone else. To communicate something. To have other people share your feelings. […] The truth is, the philosopher writes his book in order to convince a lot of people of his theories, and he hopes that in the next three thousand years people will still read that book. Umberto Eco (1932-2016) Italian media scientist, semiotician, philosopher, literary critic, medievalist novelist, Umberto Eco, The Art of Fiction, presented by Paris-based quarterly English language literary magazine The Paris Review, issue #197, interviewed by Lila Azam Zanganeh, Summer 2011

 

Conclusion

  • My friend Heinrich Zimmer (1890-1943) of years ago used to say,
    1. "The best things can't be told." Because they transcend thought.
    2. The second best are misunderstood, because those are the thoughts that are supposed to refer to that which can't be thought about, you know. And one gets stuck with the thoughts.
    3. The third best are what we talk about, you see.
    4. And myth is that field of reference, metaphors referring to what is absolutely transcendent.
Joseph Campbell, Ph.D. (1904-1987) US American mythologist, expert in comparative mythology and comparative religion, author, six part PBS television documentary The Power of Myth, interviewing host Bill Moyers, 21-26 June 1988, Episode 2 '‘The Message of the Myth'', 22. June 1988

 

Insights

  • I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking. It cannot be so easily discovered if you allow him to remain silent and  look wise, but if you let him speak, the secret is out and the world knows that he is a fool. So it is by the exposure of folly that it is defeated; not by the seclusion of folly, and in this free air of free speech men get into that sort of communication with one another which constitutes the basis of all common achievement. Address "That Quick Comradeship of Letters" by Thomas Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924) 28th US American president during World War I (1913-1921), Institute of France, Paris, France, 10. May 1919, cited in: Ray Stannard Baker and William E. Dodd, editors, The Public Papers of Woodrow Wilson, Vol. 5, S. 484, 1927
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Differentiate!

Natural vs. habitual

  • It's very dangerous to mix up the words natural and habitual. We have been trained to be quite habitual at communicating in ways that are quite unnatural. Mohandas Karamchand Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian Hindu sage, spiritual activist leader, humanitarian, lawyer, nonviolent freedom fighter

 

  • Morphic resonance and the hundredth monkey or the millionth circle also depends upon critical mass to bring about change. Sheldrake's human morphic field and C.G. Jung's collective unconscious are the same. This means that when a critical number of people change their perceptions and behavior, it becomes a new choice or pattern in the collective psyche, which each of us can contribute to or draw from. The Hundredth Monkey in the allegorical story was the monkey who, upon learning a new behavior, tipped the scales, so that monkeys who were not even in direct communication now changed what they did. When a critical mass is reached, in this theory, new attitudes and behavior will spread through the species unconsciously. This can either be deducted through researched examples or grasped intuitively. Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. jeanbolen.com, US American Jungian analyst, proactive women researcher and supporter, crone, spiritual teacher, author, Prophets Great List newsletter, 31. May 2003

 

 

  • The body is a powerful tool for communication. When we measure gestures scientifically by coding facial expression, vocalization or patterns of touch, we get this remarkably faithful assessment of who a person is and what they're feeling. Dacher Keltner, Ph.D., US American professor of psychology, University of California, Berkeley, director of the Greater Good Science Center, author, presented by Psychology: Science in Action, undated

 

 

  • No one can cause emotions in you. Another person can trigger emotions in you. However, it is your way of thinking about what they should or must do or what one usually does, what is correct or right, which causes emotions of anger, pain or annoyance. Marshall Rosenberg (*1934) US American psychologist, therapist, creator of Nonviolent Communication

 

  • The medium is the message. Herbert 'Marshall' Mc Luhan (1911-1980) Canadian educator, philosopher, scholar, communication theorist, professor of English literature, literary critic, rhetorician, famous catchphrase, 1964

 

  • We shape our tools and afterwards our tools shape us. Herbert 'Marshall' Mc Luhan (1911-1980) Canadian educator, philosopher, scholar, communication theorist, professor of English literature, literary critic, rhetorician

 

 

  • Before the truth is told without blame and heard without judgment, there is separation between people. The longer people avoid communicating, the deeper the separation and the distrust can become. Communication is a bridge over that separation. Once that bridge is established, it may take a while for people to cross over it. But at least the option is there.
    The goal of communication is not to improve or to fix anyone. It is simply to tell the truth and hear the truth. Once you have spoken honestly and your partner has heard what you have to say, and vice versa, there will be greater understanding between you. Understanding helps to restore trust and connection. It is a step toward peace. Paul Ferrini, inspirational US American author  

 

  • For human evolution to continue, the conversation must deepen. Margaret Mead (1901-1978) US American cultural anthropologist, sociologist, biologist, lecturer, popular writer, source unknown

 

  • Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. To survive in the world, we have to act in concert with others, but to survive as ourselves, rather than simply as cogs in a wheel, we have to act alone. Deborah Tannen (*1945) US American socio-linguist, specialized in gender-specific linguistic differences, author, You Just Don't Understand. Women and Men in Conversation, S. 27-28, Ballantine Books, New York, 1st edition 1990, retrieved edition 16. February 2011

 

  • People have different conversational styles, influenced by the part of the country they grew up in, their ethnic backgrounds and those of their parents, their age, class, and gender. But conversational style is invisible.  Unaware that these and other aspects of our backgrounds influence our ways of talking, we think we are simply saying what we mean. Because we don't realize that others' styles are different, we are often frustrated in conversations. Rather than seeing the culprit as differing styles, we attribute troubles to others'
intentions (she doesn't like me),
➤ abilities (he’s stupid),
➤ or character (she's rude, he's inconsiderate),
➤ our own failure (what's wrong with me?),
➤ or the failure of a relationship (we just can’t communicate).
Deborah Tannen (*1945) US American socio-linguist, specialized in gender-specific linguistic differences, author, Talking from 9 to 5. Women and Men in the Workplace, First Avon Books Trade Printing, "Language, Sex and Power", September 1995, preface, S. 11-12, William Morrow Paperbacks, reprint edition 18. September 2001

 

  • Women have more brain circuits for communication, reading emotions, social nuance, nurturing skills. Louann Brizendine? MD-PhD louannbrizendine.com (*1952) US American neuropsychiatrist, professor of neurobiology, UC Berkeley, founder of the first US clinic to study and treat women's brain functions, lecturer, author, The Female Brain, S. xix, Broadway, 1st reprint edition 7. August 2007

 

  • The female brain is expert at: reading faces, interpreting tone of voice, and assessing emotional nuance. Louann Brizendine MD-PhD louannbrizendine.com (*1952) US American neuropsychiatrist, professor of neurobiology, UC Berkeley, founder of the first US clinic to study and treat women's brain functions, lecturer, author, The Female Brain, S. 119, Broadway, 1st reprint edition 7. August 2007

 

 

  • Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. Anne Morrow Lindbergh (1906-2001) pioneering US American aviator, author, spouse of fellow aviator Charles Lindbergh

 

  • Great minds discuss ideas,
    average minds discuss events,
    and little minds discuss people.
Anonymous epigram, cited in: Lawrence Henry Mouat, US American author, A Guide to Effective Public Speaking, Harrap, 1953

 

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Uncompromising tips on writing and presenting

  • Tips for organizing a presentation
    1. Keep things simple — keep them on target.
    2. Tell your audience where you’re going.
    3. Think headlines, not labels.
    4. Involve the audience.
    5. Finish strong.
  • Tips for speeches that make a point
    1. Frame the subject with a point of view.
    2. Start fast.
    3. Write your speech to be spoken.
    4. Leave them thinking.
    5. No speech was ever too short.
How to Give a Great Presentation: Timeless Advice from a Legendary Adman, 1981, presented by brainpickings.org, Maria Popova, 20. December 2012, reviewing: Kenneth Roman (*1930) US American former CEO of advertising agency Ogilvy & Mather Worldwide, author, Joel Raphaelson, US American legendary adman, Writing That Works. How to Communicate Effectively In Business, first issued 1981, Collins Reference, 3rd revised edition 22. August 2000

 

  • The most effective speeches and presentations sound as if they have been spoken, ad-lib, and not written down at all. Great presenters and speakers make it all sound so easy and so natural that one assumes it just pours out of them. It almost never does. Kenneth Roman (*1930) US American former CEO of advertising agency Ogilvy & Mather Worldwide, author, Joel Raphaelson, US American legendary adman, Writing That Works. How to Communicate Effectively In Business, first issued, 1981, Collins Reference, S. ?, 3rd revised edition 22. August 2000

Literary and movie quotes

  • You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic. It doesn’t have to be a prejudice about an important matter either. Robert Heinlein (1907-1988) US American science fiction writer, collection of future history stories The Past Through Tomorrow, chapter 10 If This Goes On, S. 426 1947, 1961

Quotes by David R. Hawkins

⚠ Caveat See Power vs. Truth, January 2013

  • By ignoring the lesser selves, the higher selves address each other directly, and the persons' ordinary selves appear to be unaware of this ongoing higher level of conversation. At the same time, people are sensing intuitively that something different from the ordinary is happening. The conscious presence of the Self creates an energy field which people find extremely pleasurable. It is this energy field which performs the miraculous and brings occurrences into harmony, along with a sense of peace to all who experience it. David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D. (1927-2012) US American physician, psychiatrist, consciousness researcher, teacher of the path of enlightenment, author, Eye of the I From Which Nothing is Hidden, S. 7, 2001

 

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Bridging disparate worldviews and values

 

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Obstacles to effective communication

  • An obstacle to effective communication is the expectation of changing the other's viewpoint to be in accord with one's own
    by war, intimidation, 're-education', legislation, idealistic proselytization, indoctrination, propaganda, or 'tolerance' via 'reprogramming'.'''
David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D. (1927-2012) US American physician, psychiatrist, consciousness researcher, teacher of the path of enlightenment, author, Reality, Spirituality and Modern Man, S. 39, 2008

Englische Texte – English section on Communication

Four sides model on communication – Schulz von Thun


Four sides model on communication according to Friedemann Schulz von Thun
Four sides model on communication by Friedemann Schulz von Thun
༺༻ Type of
message
QuadrantStatement
Question
Remark
1.Factual
information
ITWhat about do I inform?Pure factual information, facts and data
2.Self-
relevation
IWhat do I disclose about myself?Consciously or unconsciously – the sender reveals aspects of their self-image, world view, motives, values and emotional state.
3.RelationshipYOU–IHow do I esteem/evaluate you?
How do I relate to you?
Sensing the relationship between the respective
dialoguing partners
4.AppealYOU–ITWhat do I want from (achieve with) you?Wish or request for action
References: en.Wikipedia entry
Friedemann Schulz von Thun, Ph.D. (*1944) German psychologist specialized on intrapersonal and interpersonal communication
Four sides model on communication

Communicating effectively – David D. Burns

Psychiatrist and early proponent of Cognitive Psychology and
its offshoot Positive Psychology, Burns promotes the E-A-R principle
EEmpathyYOUExpressed as Disarming skills (item 1.-3.)
They are based on the law of opposites.
Paradox: Defending oneself from false criticism proves it true.
AAssertivenessME 
RRespectUS 

 

Five skills of effective communication / conflict resolveDavid D. Burns, Ph.D.
StageCommunicative skillConflict resolving actionFocus
1.Thought empathyParaphrase what your partner says.
Find truth in critical comments.
YOU
2.Feeling empathyAcknowledge what your partner feels.YOU
3.InquiryAsk your partner general probing questions to get to know them better.YOU
4.AssertivenessShare your own feelings with your partner ("I feel xxx...").ME
5.Conveying respectStroke your partner even in the heat of the argument.US

Improving writing skills

  • You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children. Madeleine L'Engle (1918-2007) US American writer best known for young-adult fiction, source unknown

 

Eleven recommendations for improving one's writing style
༺༻Suggestion ❄ InsightQuote by William Zinsser
1.Don’t make lazy word choices. "You’ll never make your mark as a writer unless you develop a respect for words and a curiosity about their shades of meaning that is almost obsessive. The English language is rich in strong and supple words. Take the time to root around and find the ones you want."
2.Avoid jargon and big words. "Clear thinking becomes clear writing; one can’t exist without the other.
It's impossible for a muddy thinker to write good English."
3.Writing is hard work. "A clear sentence is no accident. Very few sentences come out right the first time, or even the third time. Remember this in moments of despair.
If you find that writing is hard, it's because it is hard."
4.Write in the first person. "Writing is an intimate transaction between two people, conducted on paper,
and it will go well to the extent that it retains its humanity."
5.The more you write true to yourself and in first person, the sooner you will find your style. "Sell yourself, and your subject will exert its own appeal.
Believe in your own identity and your own opinions.
Writing is an act of ego, and you might as well admit it."
6.Don't ask who your audience is,
you are the audience.
"You are writing primarily to please yourself,
and if you go about it with enjoyment you will also entertain the readers who are worth writing for."
7.Study both the masters and your contemporaries. "Writing is learned by imitation. If anyone asked me how I learned to write, I'd say I learned by reading the men and women who were doing the kind of writing I wanted to do and trying to figure out how they did it."
8.Benefit from the Thesaurus. "The Thesaurus is to the writer what a rhyming dictionary is to the songwriter – a reminder of all the choices – and you should use it with gratitude. If, having found the scalawag and the scapegrace, you want to know how they differ, then go to the dictionary."
9.Read everything you write out loud for rhythm and sound. "Good writers of prose must be part poet, always listening to what they write."
10.Know that you are not going to write
anything definitive.
"Decide what corner of your subject you're going to bite off, and be content to cover it well and stop."
11.Write uniquely. "Being 'rather unique' is no more possible than being 'rather pregnant.'"
Source: ► William Zinsser (1922-2015) US American teacher, literary critic, journalist, New York Herald Tribune, editor, writer,
10 Writing Tips from Legendary Writing Teacher William Zinsser, presented by Open Culture, 13. May 2015

 

  • Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open. Recommendation to writers by Natalie Goldberg (*1948) US American popular New Age speaker, author, source and date unknown

 

  • Write like it matters, and it will. Libba Bray (*1964) US American writer of young adult novels, source and date unknown

 

Eleven Commandments for writing practice – Henry Miller
༺༻Improve writing by
1.Work on one thing at a time until finished.
2.Start no more new books, add no more new material to 'Black Spring.'
3.Don’t be nervous. Work calmly, joyously, recklessly on whatever is in hand.
4.Work according to Program and not according to mood. Stop at the appointed time!
5.When you can't create you can work.
6.Cement a little every day, rather than add new fertilizers.
7.Keep human! See people, go places, drink if you feel like it.
8.Don’t be a draught-horse! Work with pleasure only.
9.Discard the Program when you feel like it – but go back to it next day. Concentrate. Narrow down. Exclude.
10.Forget the books you want to write. Think only of the book you are writing.
11.Write first and always. Painting, music, friends, cinema, all these come afterwards.
Source: ► Blog article Henry Miller’s 11 Commandments of Writing and His Daily Creative Routine,
presented by free weekly digest Brain Pickings, host Maria Popova (*1984) Bulgarian critic, blogger, writer, 22. February 2012

 

Five suggestions to improve one’s writing style  – Josh Spector
༺༻Improve writing by
1.Delete the word "that."
2.Delete the words "I think."
3.Avoid words that end in "-ing."
4.Short sentences. Short paragraphs.
5.Shrink your opening sentence.
Source: ► Blog article The Two Minutes It Takes To Read This Will Improve Your Writing Forever,
presented by medium.com, Josh Spector, 22. July 2016

 

References:
► Article by Rebecca Solnit (*1961) US American culture historian, journalist, writer, How to Be a Writer: 10 Tips from Rebecca Solnit. Joy, Suffering, Reading, and Lots and Lots of Writing, presented by lithub.com, 13. September 2016
► Blog article Nietzsche’s 10 Rules for Writers, Penned in a Letter to His Lover and Muse, presented by free weekly digest Brain Pickings, host Maria Popova (*1984) Bulgarian critic, blogger, writer, 8. August 2014
Friedrich Nietzsche: "Style ought to prove that one believes in an idea; not only that one thinks it but also feels it."
Referenz (German): ► 15 nützliche Tools, die Blogger und Vielschreiber lieben werden, präsentiert von Katharina Lewald, 18. Juni 2015
#1 Scrivener   #2 Google Docs  #3 OmmWriter  #4 Hubspot’s Blog Topic Generator  #5 Tomato Timer  #6 Modus für ablenkungsfreies Schreiben in WordPress  #7 Porten's Content Idea Generator  #8 Redaktionsplan  #9 TextExpander  #10 Tyme  #11 Evernote  #12 Trello #13 Pocket

Anglo-Dutch translation guide


How indirect language is erroneously being translated by direct minds
༺༻What the British sayWhat the British meanWhat the Dutch/Germans/others understand
1.With all due respect ...
With the greatest respect...
I think you are wrong.
I think you are an idiot.
He is listening.
He is listening to me.
2.Perhaps you would think about ...
I would suggest ...
This is an order. Do it or be
prepared to justify yourself.
Think about this idea and do it if you like.
Think about the idea, but do what you like.
3.Oh, by the way...
Oh, incidentally...
The primary focus of our discussion is...
The following criticism of the
purpose of the discussion is ...
That is not very important.
4.I was a bit disappointed that ...I am very upset and angry that ...
I am annoyed that...
It doesn't really matter.
5.Very interesting ...I don't like it.
That is clearly nonsense
They are impressed.
6.Could you consider some
other options?
Your idea is not a good one.
I don't like your idea.
They have not yet decided.
7.Please think about that some more.It's a bad idea. Don't do it.It's a good idea. Keep developing it.
8.I'm sure it's my fault.It's not my fault.
It's your fault.
It was their fault.
Why do they think it's their fault?
9.That is an original point of view.Your idea is stupid.They like my ideas!
10.I hear what you say.I disagree and do not want to discuss it further.He accepts my point of view.
11.I almost agree.I don't agree.He's not far from agreement.
12.That's not bad.That's good.That's poor.
13.That's a very brave proposal.You are insane.He thinks i have courage.
14.Quite good.A bit disappointing.Quite good.
15.I bear it in mind.I've forgotten it already.They will probably do it.
16.You must come for dinner.It's not an invitation, I'm just being polite.I will get an invitation soon.
17.I only have a few minor comments.Please re-write completely.He has found a few typos.
Sources:
How To Say "This Is Crap" In Different Cultures, presented by Harvard Business Review, Erin Meyer, 25. February 2014
List provided by Nanette Ripmeister
What British people say vs. what they really mean, 27. June 2013
See also:
30 Things British People Say Vs What We Actually Mean. #9 Is Perfect., 2. August 2014

Communication or the story of Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody

This is a story about four people named

Everybody,
Somebody,
Anybody,  
and Nobody.

 

There was an important job to be done.
Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was
Everybody's job.
Everybody thought that Anybody could do it,
but Nobody realized, that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody
when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

 

Links zum Thema Kommunikation / Communication

Bildlinks: Kommunikation

Literatur

Literature (engl.)

Externe Weblinks



External web links (engl.)


Appeal to the Mind ♦ Appeal to Emotions ♦ Faulty Deduction ♦ Manipulating Content ♦ Garbled Cause and Effect ♦ Personal attacks


Audio- und Videolinks

Kritischer Beitrag zum Thema Beeinflussung und Manipulation durch die Medien

Audio and video links (engl.)

Science behind the differences between the two genders; reconciling and celebrating the differences

Seven principles of fierce conversation and negotiation

 

Interne Links

Englisch Wiki

Hawkins

 

 

1 Elisabeth Noelle-Neumann (1916-2010) deutsche Professorin für Kommunikationswissenschaft, Universität Mainz, Gründerin des Instituts für Demoskopie, Allensbach, Renate Köcher, Die verletzte Nation, DVA Stuttgart, S. 84, 1987

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