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Verletzlichkeit

 

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Kurzbeschreibung von Verletzlichkeit

Verletzlichkeit: sich unsicher fühlen, ein Risiko eingehen, sich emotional bloßstellen, angewiesen auf eine Unterstützungsfeld


Vulnerability: uncertainty, risk, emotional exposure, subject to a support system

Das verletzte Gute und das verteidigende Böse umarmen

Wenn das Böse dir gegenüber steht, dann schau ihm fest ins Auge.
Schaue solange hin, bis du im Spiegel der Augen deines Feindes dein eigenes Böses erkennen kannst.
Und dann ziehe dich zurück. Und schaue deinem eigenen Bösen fest ins Auge.
Schaue solange hin, bis du hinter ihm dein verletztes Gutes erkennen kannst.
Dann schließe sie beide, das verletzte Gute und das verteidigende Böse
so fest in die Arme deines Herzens wie du kannst
und kümmere dich nicht um den Feind.
Danke ihm im Stillen und lass ihn seine Wege gehen.
Sie werden die deinen nicht mehr kreuzen.
Solange du jedoch im Bewusstsein deines Rechts verharrst, wird dein Feind dein Feind bleiben.
Quelle: ► Safi Nidiaye, deutsche Zeitschriften- und TV-Journalistin, Schriftstellerin, Dichterin, Meditationslehrerin,
Die Stimme des Herzens. Der Weg zum größten aller Geheimnisse, Bastei Lübbe, 9. Auflage 25. April 2000

Zitate zum Thema Verletzlichkeit / Vulnerability

Zitate allgemein

Empfehlungen

  • Geh dorthin, wo du verletzt bist, wo deine Sehnsucht sitzt, wo du Schmerz spürst. Bleibe damit, mach keine Bewegung davon weg. Geh nicht in die Gedanken; bis es zu einem totalen Stillstand in dir kommt. Dann findet dort eine neue Bewegung statt. Lass den Schmerz, die Sehnsucht, das Verletztsein sich ausweiten in dir. Du kannst nichts tun. Geh dorthin, wo du hilflos bist, wo du ohnmächtig bist, lass dich tragen, habe Vertrauen. Wenn es ganz ausgeweitet ist, wenn alles Platz hat, ist die Liebe da. Lass sie zu dir kommen, lass sie da sein. Du hast sie ein Leben lang gesucht, überall, mit allen Mitteln, in den Beziehungen, im Sex, in der Sucht, in der Arbeit. Samuel Widmer (*1948) Schweizer Arzt, Psychiater, Psychotherapeut, Autor, Im Irrgarten der Lust. Abschied von der Abhängigkeit oder Die Geburt der Freude. Eine Liebesgeschichte, Editions Heuwinkel, 2. Ausgabe 1. Januar 1997
  • Verletzlichkeit ist nicht Schwäche. Ich definiere Verletzlichkeit als emotionales Risiko, Ausgeliefertsein, Unsicherheit. [...] Verletzlichkeit ist unser genauestes Maß von Mut. Videovortrag von Dr. Brené Brown, LMSW, US-amerikanische Forscherin der Themen Scham, Verletzlichkeit, Empathie, Universität von Houston, Texas, Referentin, Autorin, Auf die Scham hören [Listening to shame], präsentiert von TED Talks, Minute 4:40, 20:38 Minuten Dauer, eingestellt 16. März 2012

 


Die Lebensstufen (Strandszene in Wiek), ~1834
Caspar David Friedrich (1774-1840) deutscher Maler
  • Das Zurückgewinnen des verletzten Kindes in Ihnen erinnert an ein Zen-Erlebnis. Kinder sind von Natur aus Zen-Meister, ihre Welt entsteht in jedem Augenblick wieder völlig neu. Für das nicht verletzte Kind ist das Staunen natürlich. Das Leben ist ein Mysterium, das gelebt werden will. Die Heimkehr ist die Wiederherstellung des Natürlichen. Eine solche Wiederherstellung ist nicht grandios oder dramatisch, sondern zeigt einfach nur, wie das Leben sein sollte. John Bradshaw (1933-2016) US-amerikanischer Philosoph, Theologe, Psychologe, Autor, Das Kind in uns. Wie finde ich zu mir selbst, S. 87, Droemer Knaur Verlag, München, 14. August 2000

 

  • Ein Krieger des Lichts glaubt. Weil er an Wunder glaubt, geschehen auch Wunder. Weil er sich sicher ist, dass seine Gedanken sein Leben verändern können, verändert sich sein Leben. Weil er sicher ist, dass er der Liebe begegnen wird, begegnet ihm diese Liebe auch. Manchmal wird er enttäuscht, manchmal verletzt. Aber er weiß, dass es sich lohnt. Für jede Niederlage gibt es zwei Siege. Alle die glauben, wissen das. Paulo Coelho (*1947) brasilianischer esoterischer Schriftsteller, Bestseller-Autor, Krieger des Lichts, Umschlagtext, Diogenes Verlag, 11. Auflage März 2001

 

  • Tiefgreifende Veränderungen anstreben, heißt, Lösungen zu suchen, die v e r l e t z l i c h machen – und genau das lehnen die meisten Menschen ab. [...] Paradoxerweise wirkt genau das, was scheinbar zu nichts führt. [...] Die Ermutigung, sich anderen Menschen gegenüber verletzlich zu zeigen, bietet einen Ausweg aus der Scham. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. C.A.S., führender US-amerikanischer Sexsuchtexperte und -therapeut, Minneapolis, Wenn Sex zur Sucht wird, S. 254, Kösel-Verlag, 1992

 

  • Verletzlichkeit ist irgendwie sexy in spirituellen Kreisen, weshalb ich Hilflosigkeit verwende. Hilflosigkeit ist brutal. Interview Abdi Assadi, US-amerikanischer Akupunkteur, Heiler, spiritueller Berater, New York City, Die Fallen der Spiritualität, Zeitschrift Sein, April 2011

 

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Buchbesprechung:

Arno Gruen (1923-2015) deutsch-schweizerischer Psychologe, Psychoanalytiker, Zivilisationskritiker, Schriftsteller, Der Verrat am Selbst. Die Angst vor Autonomie bei Mann und Frau, 1986, Deutscher Taschenbuch Verlag (dtv), Neuauflage 1. Januar 1992

  • Denn eben, weil es Angst macht, ein eigenes Selbst zu sein, wurde das Selbst ja verraten. Es wiederzugewinnen heißt zunächst, die Gefühle von Hilflosigkeit, Schmerz und Wut zu durchleiden, die einmal so überwältigend waren, dass es ratsam schien, das Selbst zu opfern, um nichts mehr von ihm zu spüren. Anders als jene Reagans, die überall "Fenster der Verwundbarkeit" abzudichten suchen und auf diese Weise den Angstgrund ihres Machtgebarens verraten, findet der zur Autonomie Ermutigte Freiheit im Akzeptieren seiner Verwundbarkeit. Artikel Nur der verwundbare Mensch ist stark, präsentiert von dem deutschen Nachrichtenmagazin Der Spiegel, Hans Krieger, Heft Nr. 32, 5. August 1985

Literatur- und Filmzitate

  • Was Macht hat, mich zu verletzen, ist nur halb so stark wie mein Gefühl, verletzt werden zu können. William Shakespeare [BW 465] (1564-1616) englischer Dramatiker, Bühnenschriftsteller, Lyriker, Schauspieler, Quelle unbekannt

 

  • Menschen, die einmal verletzt wurden, können gefährlich sein, denn sie wissen, dass man überleben kann. Lèos Carax (*1960) französisch-amerikanischer Filmregisseur, Gesellschaftskritiker, Schriftsteller, Filmzitat aus: Die Liebenden vom Pont Neuf, 1991

Zitate von David R. Hawkins

⚠ Achtung Siehe Power vs. Truth (engl.) Januar 2013

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Stichwort:

Angriff aus feinstoffliche Ebenen

 

 

 

  • Wenn man sich verletzt fühlt, zeigt das, dass man sich verteidigt, was selbst wiederum das Festhalten an Unwahrheiten offenbart. Wahrheit benötigt keine Verteidigung und ist deshalb keine defensive Haltung. Wahrheit hat nichts zu beweisen und ist nicht verletzbar, wenn man sie um eine Antwort fragt. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Licht des Alls. Die Wirklichkeit des Göttlichen, S. 431, 2006

 

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Queensberry-Boxkampfregeln vs. Faustrecht

General quotes

Personal avowals

  • I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable. Anne Morrow Lindbergh (1906-2001) pioneering US American aviator, author, spouse of fellow aviator Charles Lindbergh, source unknown

 

  • I certainly do [feel a certain vulnerability]. My sensitivity would'nt be there if I didnt feel it. I have to stay close to the ground. I have to get hurt. You don't get hurt, if you’re calloused, you become more cynical. Cynicism is my enemy, it always has been. It’s predominant in our culture. It's killing us, that negativity. […] I don't want to be dishonest, because there is something about it that bothers me. It makes me callous. [...] Cynicism would breed in me. I don't want cynicism to come, because it will be the end of me. Video interview with Oliver Stone (*1946) US American film director, producer, screenwriter, author, Oliver Stone interview on Charlie Rose (1997), presented by US American TV station PBS, interview show Charlie Rose, YouTube film, minute 21:28 and 24:45, 31:17 minutes duration, posted 21. July 2016

 

  • Shame makes us vulnerable and what makes us vulnerable makes us beautiful.
    When I feel shame and really stay with it makes me much more connected to what we need.
    Sharing what is shameful for me, in a vulnerable way, makes me available and I have learned that being vulnerable is being safe.
    We can not decide to run away from shame without at the same time running away from joy, unity and creativity. Interview with Liv Larsson, Swedish certified trainer in Nonviolent Communication, The Center for Nonviolent Communication, April 2011

 

Recommendations


Poem from "Fables for the Frivolous", S. 82, 1898
"The Sycophantic Fox and the Gullible Raven"
by Guy Wetmore Carryl, illustrated by Peter Newell

 

  • Whatever you do, don't shut off your pain; accept your pain and remain vulnerable. However desperate you become, accept your pain as it is, because it is in fact trying to hand you a priceless gift: the chance of discovering, through spiritual practice, what lies behind sorrow. Sogyal Rinpoche (*1947) Tibetan Dzogchen lama of the Nyingma tradition, founder and spiritual director of Rigpa, exposed sexual offender, Andrew Harvey andrewharvey.net (*1952) Indian-British religious scholar, Rumi translator and explicator, teacher of mystic traditions, architect of Sacred Activism, editor, poet, novelist, author, Patrick Gaffney, editor, Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, chapter 19, Harper Collins, 1992, Harper, San Francisco, revised edition 26. June 2012

 

  • Be soft.
    Do not let the world make you hard.
    Do not let the pain make you hate.
    Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.
    Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.
    Iain Thomas iainsthomas.com, project "I Wrote This For You", 2007, misattributed to Kurt Vonnegut Jr. (1922-2007) influential US American writer of the 20th century

 

Conclusions

 

  • Only the being whose robe is torn by great heartbreak will be given the purity and power of Divine Love. […]
    In the broken-open heart you will find a fountain of deathless passion that will never run dry. Jalal ad-Din Muḥammad Rumi (1207-1273) Persian Muslim Sufi mystic, theologian jurist, poet, from a poem

 

Insights

  • Vulnerability, humility, softness, and resignation are vital. If you try to hang on to what you believe to be true about yourself, it hurts. In the end, you have to agree to your death and resurrection. That’s the journey of the initiate. Stuart Wilde stuartwilde.com (1946-2013) British music producer, humorist, lecturer, scriptwriter, essayist, lyricist, writer on metaphysics and consciousness, source unknown

 

  • The healing of our present woundedness may lie in recognizing and reclaiming the capacity we have to heal each other, the enormous power in the simplest of human relationships:
    ➤ the strength of a touch,
    ➤ the blessing of forgiveness,
    ➤ the grace of someone else taking you just as you are and finding in you an unsuspected goodness.
    Everyone alive has suffered. It is the wisdom gained from our wounds and from our own experiences of suffering that makes us able to heal. Becoming expert has turned out to be less important than remembering and trusting the wholeness in myself and everyone else. Expertise cures, but wounded people can best be healed by other wounded people. Only other wounded people can understand what is needed, for the healing of suffering is compassion, not expertise. Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D., US American clinical professor of family and community medicine, UCSF school of medicine, co-founder and medical director of the Commonweal Cancer Help Program, storyteller, author, Kitchen Table Wisdom. Stories That Heal, S. 158, Riverhead Trade, 10th anniversary edition 1. August 2006

 

  • We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy. Walter Anderson (*1944) US American chairman and CEO of Parade Publications (2000-2009)
  • Vulnerability or invulnerability is the result of your own thoughts. Nothing except your thoughts can attack you. Nothing except your thoughts can make you think you are vulnerable. And nothing except your thoughts can prove to you this is not so. A Course in Miracles (ACIM) work book, lesson 26

 

 

 

  • We owe our children, the most vulnerable citizens in our society, a life free of violence and fear. Nelson Mandela (1918-2013) South African anti-apartheid activist, prisoner for 27 years during apartheid, first black president of South Africa (1994-1999), cited in: Etienne G. Krug (editor), World Report on Violence and Health, Volume 1, Foreword, S. ix, World Health Organization, Geneva, 2002

 

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Vulnerability to love

See also: Peaceful Warrior Words of Wisdom, YouTube film, 0:56 minutes duration, posted 15. September 2009

  • You're most vulnerable when you're experiencing love. Beyond love is unity, where vulnerability and invulnerability become one.
    1. Love is the first emanation, the first particularization of the supreme reality, which is unity. The first expression, the first breath of the unity is divine universal love, with its sweetness and delicacy. That is where you are the most vulnerable, before your vulnerability becomes invulnerability. When you're loving, you still feel at the mercy of everything.
    2. The step beyond that is to become even more vulnerable, and then you're completely invulnerable.
So we're seeing how love can lead always to complete vulnerability and thus to invulnerability. Love is the highest, the deepest, the most intense, the most expansive possibility of feeling. Love is the heart. Beyond love is the supreme reality, which is beyond feeling or no feeling. So vulnerability is vulnerability to love, and extremely deep vulnerability is love. If you really are vulnerable, you’re loving. You can’t help but be loving. And if you’re very loving, you can’t help but feel vulnerable. If you allow yourself to feel, your heart is completely open. A.H. Almaas, Ph.D. (*1944) Kuwaitian physicist, spiritual teacher, founder of the therapeutic Diamond Approach, author, Being and the Meaning of Life (Diamond Heart, Book 3), S. 206, Shambhala Publications, 5. September 2000, 4. June 2013

 

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State of defenselessness

  • When one finally allows the state of vulnerability, it can manifest as a state of defenselessness. This indicates the dropping of the defensiveness of ego. Such letting go means the abandonment, usually transitory, of certain deep identification systems. These constitute the core of the defensive structures of ego. The result is again the manifestation of emptiness, this time vast and of immeasurable depth. It is a deeper dimension of space. A.H. Almaas, Ph.D. (*1944) Kuwaitian physicist, spiritual teacher, founder of the therapeutic Diamond Approach, author, The Pearl Beyond Price. Integration of Personality into Being. An Object Relations Approach, S. 382, Diamond Books, 1st edition 5. September 2000

 

  • "Click accelerators" for connecting with people are:
    1. Vulnerability
      Open up about topics that capture people’s attention and enable them to empathize with you. People will reciprocate and open up as well. Appearing strong and in control is no means to click.
    2. Proximity
      Being close to your community. Show up at events. Due to multiple exposures people are going to like you better.
    3. Resonance / Flow
      Be and stay present and flow. Ask questions, express genuine interest.
    4. Similarity
      Similarity is hard wired into the human psyche. Discover about seven or eight topics of joint similar interest.
    5. Safe place / Environment
      Belong to a clearly defined community. The context 'we are in it together' is a critical factor.
    6. Engagement
    7. Chemistry / Magic
Video interview with Ori Brafman, Israeli entrepreneur in business, government, and the nonprofit sector, leader of political and advocacy campaigns, How To Click With People Audio MP3, presented by web radio podcaster Mixergy, host Andrew Warner, 57:04 minutes duration, posted 17. June 2010

 

 

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Programmed for fake invincibility

  • [Women] were falling in love with men who appeared to be invulnerable.
    The ability to kill always requires the vulnerability of being exposed to being killed.
    The irony of male allegeability is that it is created by vulnerability that is masked as invulnerability. And to this day this is the male tragedy. Audio interview with Warren Farrell, Ph.D. Farrell.com (*1943) US American political scientist, author, spokesman of men's liberation, men's rights activist, former director of the National Organisation for Women, The Myth of Male Power, part 8 of 19, presented by Simon & Schuster Audio, host Tom Howard, minute 0:05, 10:01 minutes duration, posted 10. July 2008

 

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Daring greatly: What counts is the man in the arena – not the critic.

  • It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat. Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) 26th US president (1901-1909), speech "Citizenship in a Republic, university Sorbonne, Paris, France, 23. April 1910

 

  • Maybe to be powerful is to be fragile. Ai Weiwei (*1957) leading Chinese artist, curator, architectural designer, cultural and social commentator and activist, Twitter feed by @AiWW, 25. January 2012

 

  • Our vulnerability allows us to be hurt. But our vulnerability allows us to be loved. If we were tough and totally in control there is no space for love, no intimacy, no softness. The same vulnerability that allows us to be hurt allows us to be intimate, connected and loved. Fred Luskin, Ph.D., US American health psychologist, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects, author of Forgive for Good, The Choice to Forgive, presented by Greater Good Science Center, YouTube film, 3:22 minutes duration, posted 11. August 2010

 

To Love at All, cartoon presented by patheos.com

  • To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell. C. S. Lewis (1898-1963) Irish British literary scholar, novelist

 


Petrified log in Petrified Forest National Park, Arizona, United States
  • To live with ambiguity is to accept vulnerability. Robert Jay Lifton, M.D. (*1926) US American psychiatrist, researcher of the psychological causes and effects of war and political violence, developer of the theory of thought reform

 

  • Using another as a means of satisfaction and security is not love. Love is never security; Love is a state in which there is no desire to be secure; It is a state of vulnerability. Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986) Indian spiritual teacher, theosophist, philosopher, author, source unknown

 

  • Few really get to the core of their wounding and work through it because of what such an undertaking asks of them, not the least of which is the courage to fully be in a state of prerational or preverbal vulnerability. Robert Augustus Masters, Ph.D. robertmasters.com (*1947) Canadian psychologist, psychotherapist, cult leader of Xanthyros community, author, Facebook comment, 20. December 2011

 

  • Write straight into the emotional center of things.
    Write toward vulnerability.
    Don't worry about appearing sentimental.
    Worry about being unavailable;
    worry about being absent or fraudulent.
    Anne Lamott, US American bestselling author, recovering conversed alcoholic, Bird by Bird. Some Instructions on Writing and Life, Anchor, 1st edition 1. September 1995

 

  • The average child gets 432 negative messages to 32 positive messages every single day.
    We are buffeted with that kind of violence – the negative messages.
    Once you become vulnerable truly you become very potent, very powerful because you don't have anything to hide.
    We are programmed not to feel good about ourselves. We generally don't [...] love ourselves because we are programmed not to.
    Cynicism is a way to protect ourselves. [...] It is almost like we have become warriors and have an armor.
    Audio interview with Stan Dale (1929-2007) US American sex, love and intimacy expert, transactional analyst, founder of the Human Awareness Institute, 1968, radio broadcaster, teacher, author, Intimacy [i.e. "into me you see"], 2003

 


Leaf
  • Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. They believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism. Definition by Mayoclinic.com

 

  • It is childhood trauma that makes individuals most vulnerable to unhealthy levels of narcissistic traits, and that allows narcissistic behavior to take hold and flourish. The incidence of childhood trauma has increased by more than 40 percent over the past twenty years, and as a result, we are all feeling the effects of a generation with deep narcissistic wounds. Drew Pinsky, M.D. (*1958) US American internist, addiction medicine specialist, assistant clinical professor, Keck USC School of Medicine, radio and television personality, author, S. Mark Young, Ph.D., US American professor of accounting and management, journalism and communication, The Mirror Effect. How Celebrity Narcissism Is Seducing America, S. 143, Harper, 1st edition 17. March 2009

 

 

 

  • Fear of vulnerability is suppression of emotion, not control. This is a deep-seated flaw in our culture. The suppression of emotion is that which causes so much of humanities’ dysfunction, not the control of emotion. Annette Jahnel (*1962) South African photographer, artist, world traveller, public speaker, author, hosting radio show "Thinking Matters" Love 2, MP3, presented by South African Whale Coast Radio 96 fm, minute 18:09, 30:40 minutes duration, aired 25. April 2016, posted 27. April 2016

Movie quotes

  • If I asked you about women you'd probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. [Y]ou've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Knowing someone could level you with her eyes. Feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you [...] who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it‘s like to be her angel and to have that love for her to be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. You wouldn't know about sleeping sittin’ up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term visiting hours don't apply to you. Transcripted from the movie Good Will Hunting, written by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck; scene: psychiatrist Sean and young genius Will sitting together on a park bench in Boston.
    Good Will Hunting – Park Scene, YouTube film, minute 1:20, 4:46 minutes duration, posted 23. July 2007

Quotes by Brené Brown

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All humans and societies are vulnerable and imperfect.

In cruel societies missing out on human dignity vulnerability is seen as weakness, imperfection is seen as inadequacy. Many humans buy into the idea to be "less than", not worthy of belonging.

 

  • The thing that I have learned is that vulnerability is at the center of fear and shame, but it is also at the center of joy and gratitude and love and belonging. If we continue to wake up every day and put our game faces on and think that invulnerability is the way to be [...] then we pay the price, because I don't know that we would ever fully experience joy and love and belonging. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, Graduate College of Social Work, University of Houston, Texas, lecturer, author, source unknown

 

  • We need to share with those who have earned the right to hear it and people who are invested in the friendship. Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky. Sharing and hearing intimate stories is also not most people's "default setting," since we tend to self-protect from hurtful things. If someone drops a shame bomb on me, I am likely to give a non-compassionate response if my own resources feel scarce. Blog article on Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, Graduate College of Social Work, University of Houston, Texas, lecturer, author, Author Brené Brown Discusses Embracing Our Ordinariness, presented by US American online newspaper The Huffington Post, Martha Rosenberg, 21. February 2011

 

  • Our secrets definitely keep us addicted, which is probably why there are online sites where people can divest themselves of their secrets, anonymously. But because shame happens between people, there is no substitute for telling on ourselves, so to speak, to someone else and making ourselves vulnerable. Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn't feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive. Blog article on Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, Graduate College of Social Work, University of Houston, Texas, lecturer, author, Author Brené Brown Discusses Embracing Our Ordinariness, presented by US American online newspaper The Huffington Post, Martha Rosenberg, 21. February 2011

 


Sterbender Achill, Garten des Achilleion, Korfu
Bildhauer: Ernst Herter, 1884
  • We need to share with those who have earned the right to hear it and people who are invested in the friendship. Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky. Sharing and hearing intimate stories is also not most people's "default setting," since we tend to self-protect from hurtful things. If someone drops a shame bomb on me, I am likely to give a non-compassionate response if my own resources feel scarce. Blog article on Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, Graduate College of Social Work, University of Houston, Texas, lecturer, author, Author Brené Brown Discusses Embracing Our Ordinariness, presented by US American online newspaper The Huffington Post, Martha Rosenberg, 21. February 2011

 

 

  • Vulnerability is not weakness. [...] Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage. Video presentation by Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, Graduate College of Social Work, University of Houston, Texas, lecturer, author, Listening to shame, presented by TED Talks, minute 4:40, 20:38 minutes duration, posted 16. March 2012

 

 

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Wholeheartedness

[Partially paraphrased]

  
  1. Love and belonging is an irreducible need. We all need it.
  2. Those who feel a deep sense of love and belonging [...] feel loveable. They believe they are worthy of being loved.
  3. A strong belief in our worthiness doesn't just happen. It must be cultivated.
  4. The main concern of Wholehearted men and women is living a life defined by courage, compassion, and connection.
  5. The Wholehearted identify vulnerability as the catalyst for courage, compassion, and connection. The willingness to be vulnerable is the single most important factor shared among the Wholehearted.
Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, lecturer, Graduate College of Social Work, University of Houston, Texas, lecturer, author, Daring Greatly. How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Gotham, 1st edition 11. September 2012

 

 

Quotes by David R. Hawkins

⚠ Caveat See Power vs. Truth, January 2013

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Sensitiveness reveals one's weakness.

 

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Psychic attacks are pointed to vulnerable spots.

  • Highly spiritually advanced people become a serious threat to the God opposing forces. That's why they can experience psychic attacks in their vulnerable spots and positionalities still held. Dr. David R. Hawkins, source unknown

 

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Shame

  • People at the emotional level [of Shame ] are vulnerable to all the other negative emotions. They wish they were invisible. Banishment is a traditional accompaniment. It is destructive to health. Shame leads to cruelty to self and others and often results in paranoia, delusions, and psychosis. Dr. David R. Hawkins, source unknown

 

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Pride

  • Pride is defensive and vulnerable because it's dependent on external conditions, without which it can suddenly revert to a lower level. The inflated ego is vulnerable to attack. [...] Pride is divisive and gives rise to factionalism; the consequences are costly. [endless wars] [...] The downside of Pride is arrogance and denial. These characteristics block growth. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Power vs. Force. The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior, chapter 4, S. 82-83, Hay House, February 2002

 

  • Humor is important to the maturation process whereby we learn how to not take ourselves so seriously and learn to laugh at ourselves, thus decreasing narcissistic defensiveness. To be prone to "hurt feelings" is egocentric and a form of social paranoia. When we admit our downside and learn to laugh at it, we are no longer vulnerable to slights and insults. It is beneficial to list all of one's human foibles and limitations and make peace with them in order to be at peace with oneself. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Truth vs. Falsehood. How to Tell the Difference, chapter 9 Social Structure and Functional Truth, S. 112, 2005

 

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The anarchist ego the attack the vulnerable.

 

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Divisive pride and ego are defensive and vulnerable.

  • Pride feels good only in contrast to the lower levels. Because "Pride goeth before a fall;" it is defensive and vulnerable as it is dependent upon external conditions, without which it can suddenly revert to a lower level. The inflated ego is vulnerable to attack. Pride remains weak because it can be knocked off its pedestal into Shame, which is the threat that fires the fear of loss of pride. Pride is divisive and gives rise to factionalism, resulting in costly consequences. Man has habitually died for Pride for which armies still regularly slaughter each other. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Discovery of the Presence of God. Devotional Nonduality, chapter 8, S. 147, 2007 also Transcending Levels of Consciousness. The Stairway to Enlightenment, chapter 8, S. 147, 2006

 

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⚠ Trap/necessity/integration of desiringness

Note: Seven primary emotional systems – Jaak Panksepp

  • Vulnerability persists as long as there are still desires for gain, pride, vanity, control, wealth or sensual pleasure. With spiritual maturity, perception is replaced by vision that reflects essence and spiritual truth, resulting in the capacity to see through self deception. Vision is associated with spiritual wisdom, which makes clear that exploitation leads to loss and descent rather than progressive ascendancy.
    Spiritual purity is the consequence of self-honesty, which is a result of true devotion. To be a servant of God is to align with Divine Guidance that leads to looking to the Self rather than catering to self or the world. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Transcending Levels of Consciousness. The Stairway to Enlightenment, section V Overview S. 316 [318], 2006

 

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Externalized happiness leaves you vulnerable.

  • All the negative energy fields are based on placing the source of our happiness externally. This results as being vulnerable and also being the potential, hopeless victim. Being a victim means perceiving a cause as being outside of ourselves. […] It is only by owning ourselves as the source of happiness, as the experience of our existence, independent and beyond that which happens within the world, that we become immune to depressive episodes. Dr. David Hawkins, Healing and Recovery, chapter 12 Depression, S. 366-367, 2009

 

  • We can use this anger by turning it into anger at the vulnerability. One can say, "Now it is time to be angry at the real cause, which is that I was brought up in a world that taught me to think this way. I was taught that this is the right way to think." That is what we need to be angry about – that we were taught how to think in a way that sets us up as potential victims – to think that something or someone outside ourself is the source of happiness. The usual projected fantasy is that 'success' is the source of happiness, is it not? Will success bring us happiness?
    I used to live on the East Coast near a community of millionaires, and despite their affluence, occasionally someone committed suicide or took a drug overdose. They were not at all immune to the human vulnerabilities. Therefore, worldly success (e.g. celebrity status) does not bring immunity. What we need to be angry at is what caused us to sell ourselves out and then learn how we do it. Then we can take pride in the fact that we are willing to look at this now and move up to the level of Courage to tell the truth about it. The truth is that something within our consciousness sets us up to be vulnerable. Dr. David Hawkins, Healing and Recovery, chapter 12 Depression, S. 375-376, 2009

 

  • A self-honest person is not prone to having his or her feelings hurt or "having a bone to pick" with others. Honest insight has an immediate benefit in the reduction of actual as well as potential emotional pain. A person is vulnerable to emotional pain in exact relationship to the degree of self-awareness and self-acceptance. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Along the Path to Enlightenment. 365 Reflections from David R. Hawkins, edited by , S. 79, Reflection of May 27th, January 2011

 

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Humor enhances the maturation process.:


 

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Exploitable innocence

  • The most exploitable product or aspect of life is man's intrinsic innocence. The real charlatan knows that within the person there is that vulnerability of innocence and all they have to do is figure out how to get to it. Interview Dr. David R. Hawkins, A Conversation with Knowingness, part I of II, presented by Four Corners Magazine, Pamela Becker, April/May 2007

 

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Positionalities held are targets of psychic attacks.

  • Highly spiritually advanced people become a serious threat to the God opposing forces. That's why they can experience psychic attacks in their vulnerable spots and positionalities still held. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Seminar Title unknown, month and year unknown

 

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Not taking bullying personally

Recontextualizing the human condition expressed as inconsiderate behavior

  • To quit taking things personally means to become detached. That allows your perception of the person to be corrected. Also, it dawns on you they're not being that way with you, they are are just being that way because that's who they are. They are that way with themselves. You stop feeling being hurt because they are that way. Some people are gruff, mean and horrid. They don't mean anything by it. They are just gruff, mean and horrid. [Ha ha.] Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Seminar Positionality and Duality: Transcending the Opposites, 3 DVD set, April 2002 – Stop Taking Events In The World Personally, YouTube film, minute 4:36, 13:59 minutes duration, posted by StudyYourself 19. April 2012

 

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Love is open and vulnerable.

 

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Owning one's [projected on] downside

  • If someone calls you a liar, tell 'em, 'Ya I am, I’m the best liar on the planet. Ya wanna hire me? I'm worth a fortune.' […] 'Every time I wake up in the morning I call 911 because I’m so ugly.' Hahaha […]. You see, when you accept the possible downside of everything, nothing can offend you. 'You're greedy.' 'Ya I'm greedy, I'm Mr. Greedy, man. Give me what I want.' No what I mean, just become what people say you are. 'You're impervious.' 'There is nothing you can say. Uh huh.' So we can not make neurotism the law of the land. You're not going to be able to not offend somebody. See. Because some people are going to be offended if you do and some people will be offended if ya don’t. Consequently, you're always going to offend somebody. So live with it. Hahaha […]. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Seminar Devotion: The Way to God Through the Heart, 3 DVD set, 27. September 2002

 

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Vulnerable linear love

  • Only 4% of the population ever gets to 500 or beyond. Beyond 500, love is no longer an emotion. Before 500, love is dualistic – the source and happiness are "out there". Therefore, before 500 love is vulnerable, can be lost. At 500 love becomes a way of BEING, the way we ARE with the world and with ourselves. We don’t allow others to abuse us, and we don’t abuse ourselves. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Seminar The Realization of the Presence of God, Houston, Texas, 11. October 2003

 

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Psychic attacks

  • In highly advanced states, when you start to become a serious threat to those forces opposed to God, you can experience psychic attacks. They'll look for anything potentially vulnerable in you, some chakra out of balance, some positionality still held. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Seminar Thought and Ideation, 3 DVD set, 28. February 2004

 

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Forceful entities and people are attracted to the vulnerable.

 

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Avoidance of questionable energies

  • When you work with people with questionable energies, they will sense for your vulnerability, whichever chakra it is, whatever is involved with your karma. As Jesus taught, avoid these energies. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Seminar Witnessing and Observing, 3 DVD set, 16. October 2004

 

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Tears, a relief valve of the changing brain

  • Question: When I am in the presence of beauty or love, often tears come up. Is there a line between that and emotionality?
    Answer: No, it’s a stage you go through and it may last for years. It has nothing to do with gender. You can look at two people looking at each other with a loving look and you begin to cry – or a beautiful aria from an opera – any kind of stunning beauty. It's a sensitivity to beauty that arises, and as you get in the 500s, it becomes almost continuous. You have to desist from certain activities because you break down and cry all the time. It may last some years. If people at work ask about it, just tell them the truth – that beauty makes you cry. It's normal. It's not emotion – because neurologically your brain changes. There's a concept called neuroplasticity. Experience changes the chemistry of your brain physiology. The neuronal connections are always constantly changing. So crying is part of that shift of the energy balance and your brain is putting out endorphins. If you are loving, you put out endorphins. Someone who is upset all the time is putting out adrenalin. You walk into a great cathedral and you break into tears. You see what it took to create it. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Satsang Q&A, CD 2 of 2, 10. January 2007

 

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Tenet of the 12-step programs

"Justified resentments"

Englische Texte – English section on Vulnerability

Nine behaviorial patterns that make one vulnerable – Matthieu Ricard

The French Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard is known as 'The Happiest Man in the World'. The former geneticist, humanitarian and bestselling author names nine attitudes that keep us from living our potential:
༺༻Harmful behavior – reducing vibrancy (aura)
1.Cultivating an exascerbated sense of self-importance
2.Ruminating on the past
3.Being anxious about the future
4.Being unable to remain in the present moment
5.Pinning all our hopes on the outer conditions of happiness [physical appearance, wealth, fame, and power]
6.Neglecting to cultivate the inner conditions of happiness [inner peace, inner freedom, altruistic love and compassion]
7.Seeking happiness only for ourselves, and not for others
8.Being overly concerned with gain and loss, praise and criticism, fame and anonymity
9.Distorting reality by allowing our prejudices to interfere our objectivity
Source: ► Article Qualities That Make Us Vulnerable, presented by The Big Life, 24. May 2011

Anyway – Attitudes of imperturbability

Paradoxical Commandments
༺༻Ordinary wayAnyway
1.People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.Love them anyway.
2.If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
3.If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
4.The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
5.Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
6.The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down
by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
7.People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
8.What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
9.People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
10.Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
Originator: ► Kent Keith, 1968

 


 

Note: ► Mother Teresa changed the original somewhat and had it engraved at the wall
of her children home in Calcutta, India. Since then the poem has been adjudged.

 

Links zum Thema Verletzlichkeit / Vulnerability

Literatur

Literature (engl.)

"Click accelerators" are: vulnerability, proximity, flow, similarity, environment, engagement, a little magic

Externe Weblinks

External web links (engl.)

Audio- und Videolinks

Audio and video links (engl.)

Research indicates that guilt (linked with empathy) is the more adaptive emotion as it can motivate people to behave in a moral, caring, socially responsible manner. Shame (about the self) (linked with aggression) can easily go awry.

Letting go of grudges

Audio and video links (engl.) – Brené Brown

Excerpt from Brené Brown's new psychoeducational shame-resilience curriculum; the destructive nature of shame and the healing power of empathy

Gender-related shame expresses in different ways.

Wholeheartedness emerges from "I'm enough", loving without guarantee, acting from authenticity and worthiness, cultivating courage, compassion, and the connection needed to embrace one's imperfections.

 

Interne Links

Englisch Wiki

Hawkins

 

 
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