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Bewusstseinsebene 20

Scham

 

  • Ebene: Scham, Schande
  • Emotion: Demütigung, Erniedrigung, Beschämung
  • Prozess: Entfernung, Beseitigung, Unterdrückung, Ausmerzung
  • Selbstbild/Lebensauffassung: elend, abscheulich
  • Gottesbild:  verachtend, verächtlich

 

Wüste in Marokko


 

Auslöschung und Verbannung

Scham ist dem Tod (Tod = Null) nahe. Wer sich schämt, möchte am liebsten im Boden versinken und unsichtbar sein. Scham äußert sich bei vielen Menschen in Schüchternheit und Introvertiertheit oder auch in äußerst rigiden Moralvorstellungen. Sie kann Psychosen, Paranoia und bizarre Verbrechen zur Folge haben. Der Schamzerfressene betrachtet das eigene Selbst als unwürdig und schlecht und spricht sich selbst das Lebensrecht ab. Je nach Temperament wird das Gefühl der totalen Auslöschung introvertiert oder extrovertiert gelebt.

 

In vielen Kulturen war die schrecklichste Strafe jene der Verbannung, denn Menschen, die von der Gemeinschaft ausgeschlossen wurden, hatten fast keine Chance zu überleben. Heute manifestiert sich diese Ebene zum Beispiel im Namen der französischen Vorstädte, den «Banlieus», Bannmeilen, wo jene Menschen leben, deren der Staat sich schämt und sie womöglich jahrelang vernachlässigt und aus dem Bewusstsein verdrängt hat.

 

Insgeheim ist Stolz der Auslöser für Scham. Die Abwehrmechanismen von Beschämten sind, mit Beschuldigungen (Schuld) oder Aggression anzugreifen.

Scham-Ebene: Tabelle der Anziehungen und Abneigungen


Anziehungen und Abneigungen auf der Ebene von Scham

AnziehungAbneigung
Selbstbestrafung, SelbsthassSelbstvergebung
DepressionDas Leben wählen
VerurteilenSich GOTTES Gnade übergeben
NegativitätStandpunkte loslassen
Schrumpfen, verbergenSichtbar sein
Das Selbst als wertlos ansehenDas Geschenk des Lebens bejahen
Starre SelbstsichtKorrigierbar, flexibel
VerdammenVergeben
DemütigungSelbstwert wählen
VerunglimpfenSich selbst achten
StrengGütig
UnausgeglichenBeide Seiten sehen
Sich selbst beschuldigenDie Unwissenheit des Egos beschuldigen
Fehler übertreibenGrenzen überschreiten
Selektive TeilsichtAusgeglichene Gesamtschau
Das Selbst wird als Verlierer gesehenDas Selbst wurde korrigiert
Ende des WegesBeginn des Neuen
Nicht liebenswertWert als Kind GOTTES
Irrtum ist unverzeihlichIrrtum ist eine Lektion
Narzisstische AusrichtungFürsorge um andere
Sich selbst selbstüberschätzend dienenDem Leben dienen
SchwelgenEgoistische Standpunkte loslassen
Sich als Mittelpunkt des Lebens sehenSich als Teilnehmer des Lebens sehen
Auf sich selbst konzentriertAuf andere ausgerichtet
„Hätte (tun, denken...) sollen“War damals nicht fähig dazu

 

Inspiriert durch D. Hawkins, Erleuchtung ist möglich, S. 47f

Zitate zum Thema Scham – BW 20 / Shame

Zitate von D. Hawkins

Zitate (engl.) von D. Hawkins

Energy Level 20 Shame

  • People at this emotional level are vulnerable to all the other negative emotions. They wish they were invisible. Banishment is a traditional accompaniment. It is destructive to health. Shame leads to cruelty to self and others and often results in paranoia, delusions, and psychosis. Source unknown

 

  • The level of Shame is perilously proximate to death, which may be chosen out of Shame as conscious suicide or more subtly elected by failure to take steps to prolong life. Death by avoidable accident is common here. We all have some awareness of the pain of "losing face", becoming discredited, or feeling like a "nonperson". In shame we hang our heads and sink away, wishing we were invisible. Power vs. Force, chapter IV

 

  • The behavior of people whose consciousness is only in the 20s is dangerous: they're prone to hallucinations of an accusatory nature, as well as paranoia; some become psychotic or commit bizarre crimes. Power vs. Force, chapter IV

 


 

  • Every time you attack the ego you reinforce it through guilt and shame. Attacking the ego — making it wrong and labeling it "sin" – is not helpful. You can only transcend it by familiarity, non-condemnation, acceptance, and compassion for one's own ego. Interview On the Trilogy of Book 1, 2 and 3, presented by Openexchange.org, Susanne Spitzer, 2004

 

  • Question: What's the best way to heal shame?
    Answer: Shame is pride projected onto society and reflected back onto oneself. How can you evolve unless you make mistakes? (Life is for learning.) If you let go of pride, your mistakes look more like stupidity than evildoing. Sedona Seminar Advaita. The Way to God through Mind, 3 DVD set, August 2002

 

  • Question: What are the best ways to heal shame?
    Answer: Shame is a tough one until you recontextualize it. Shame is really vanity, pride. Shame is pride projected onto society and you visit it back upon yourself. You let go of pridefulness and own that being a human leads you to being fallible. It’s OK to be stupid and make terrible mistakes, it’s inevitable, how can you evolve unless you make really bad mistakes, you can’t. So shame is then looking at your own behavior from the viewpoint of pride. From pride this looks like disgraceful behavior, but if you let go pride, it looks more like stupidity. Sedona Seminar Advaita. The Way to God through Mind, DVD 2 of 3, track 5, minute 41:50, August 2002

 

  • Stupidity is innate to the human condition, ignorance is what we are all born here with, we have a hardware computer with no programs on it. Shame is a technique used by parents, a misfortunate one. "Shame on you!" To teach a child to shame oneself is not too great a technique. It’s good for my business with prozac, all this stuff really helps with shame. So, they build up my business, but it’s not really a very good technique. Sedona Seminar Advaita. The Way to God through Mind, DVD 2 of 3, track 5, minute 40:50-42:44, August 2002

 

  • If we can't get what we want, then all these negative feelings come up. We're miserable, we're despairing, we’re going to commit suicide. When we give up, we reach hopelessness and go into apathy. For physical survival, the ego serves a function. If we don't get what we want, the approval we want, society’s approval, we experience shame. Ultimately we end up in hell. In the bottom of hell, there is eternal hopelessness, more ghastly than I can describe. Sedona Seminar Emotions and Sensations, 3 DVD set, 17. April 2004

 

  • If we don't get what we want, the approval we want, society's approval, we experience shame. Ultimately we end up in hell. In the bottom of hell, there is eternal hopelessness, more ghastly than I can describe. Sedona Seminar Emotions and Sensations, 3 DVD set, 17. April 2004

Zitate von anderen Quellen

  • Nacktheit als solche darf nicht gleichgesetzt werden mit physischer Schamlosigkeit. Unanständigkeit ist nur gegeben, wenn Nacktheit eine negative Rolle in Hinsicht auf den Wert einer Person spielt […] Der menschliche Körper ist nicht an sich beschämend, noch sind es sinnliche Reaktionen aus demselben Grund, und menschliche Sinnlichkeit im Allgemeinen. Schamlosigkeit (genau wie Scham und Anstand) ist eine Funktion des Inneren der Person. Johannes Paul II. [BW 570] (1920-2005) Papst der römisch-katholischen Kirche (1978-2005)

 

  • Den finsteren Gedanken, die Scham, die Bosheit, begrüße sie mit einem Lachen an der Tür und bitte sie herein. Danke jedem für sein Kommen, denn sie alle haben dir etwas Wichtiges mitzuteilen. Dschalal ad-Din Rumi [BW 550] (1207-1273) persischer islamischer Mystiker, Dichter des Sufismus

 

  • Liebe ist das probateste Mittel, um das Schamgefühl zu überwinden. Sigmund Freud [BW 499] (1856-1939) österreichischer Neurologe, Begründer der Tiefenpsychologe und der Psychoanalyse, Religionskritiker

 

  • Der Verlust von Scham ist das erste Zeichen von Schwachsinn. Sigmund Freud [BW 499] (1856-1939) österreichischer Neurologe, Begründer der Tiefenpsychologe und der Psychoanalyse, Religionskritiker

 

  • Es gibt ein Gefühl, bei dem Eltern aufmerken sollten, wenn es bei ihrem Kind auftritt: die Scham. Scham ist das Gefühl, das an den Konfliktpunkten zwischen Individuum und Gesellschaft entsteht. Wessen wir uns schämen, das decken wir bei uns zu und lieben es nicht. Wir fürchten die Schande: mit Schimpf und Schande verstoßen zu werden. Das gesellschaftlich Verpönte weckt im Individuum Scham. Solche sozial bedingte Scham ist nicht mit der natürlichen Scham, das heisst der Zurückhaltung, zu verwechseln, die wir manchmal brauchen, um zu uns zu kommen und bei uns zu bleiben. Menschen, die sich oft vor anderen schämen, sind unfrei, lieben sich nicht. Peter Schellenbaum (*1939) Schweizer Psychoanalytiker, Sachbuchautor, Die Wunde der Ungeliebten, S. 17

 

  • Wo Scham ist, da ist Ehre. Deutsches Sprichwort

 

  • Wo man keine Scham empfindet, da empfindet man auch keine Ehre. Äthiopisches Sprichwort

 

  • Tiefgreifende Veränderungen anstreben, heißt, Lösungen zu suchen, die v e r l e t z l i c h machen – und genau das lehnen die meisten Menschen ab. [...] Paradoxerweise wirkt genau das, was scheinbar zu nichts führt. [...] Die Ermutigung, sich anderen Menschen gegenüber verletzlich zu zeigen, bietet einen Ausweg aus der Scham. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. C.A.S., führender US-amerikanischer Sexsucht-Therapeut, Minneapolis, Wenn Sex zur Sucht wird, S. 254, Kösel-Verlag, 1992

 

  • Scham beruht auf der inneren Überzeugung, nicht annehmbar zu sein. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. C.A.S., führender US-amerikanischer Sexsucht-Therapeut, MinneapolisWenn Sex zur Sucht wird, S. 259, Kösel-Verlag, 1992

 

  • Scham und Heimlichkeit waren mitverantwortlich für die Entstehung der Sexsucht und Scham und Heimlichkeit (Sicherheit in der Anonymität) und behindern auch ihre Überwindung. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. C.A.S., führender US-amerikanischer Sexsucht-Therapeut, Minneapolis, Wenn Sex zur Sucht wird, S. 431, Kösel-Verlag, 1992

 

  • Scham flößt uns das Gefühl ein, dass wir nicht gut genug sind und es niemals sein werden. Daher ist Scham Gift für unser Glück, da sie Millionen Menschen dazu bringt, angesichts ihrer körperlichen Reaktionen zu verzweifeln – und das ein Leben lang. Deepak Chopra (*1946) indisch-US-amerikanischer Internist, Endokrinologe, Referent, Autor (Ayurveda, Spiritualität, Energiemedizin), Kama Sutra. Die spirituellen Gesetze der Liebe

 

  • Was ist dir das Menschlichste? Jemandem Scham zu ersparen. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900) deutscher klassischer Gelehrter, Philosoph, Kulturkritiker, Werke in drei Bänden, Bd. II Die fröhliche Wissenschaft, 1956

 

Zitate von Dr. Brené Brown

 

 

 

 

 

Zitate (engl.) von anderen Quellen

You enter the Kingdom when you tread upon the garment of shame, and when the two become one and the male with the female neither male nor female. Greek Gospel of the Egyptians, quoted by St. Clement of Alexandria, Stromateis,  Second Epistle of Clement, chapter xii.2
cp. with Gospel of Thomas, verse 022

 

Fundamental culture: based on human dignity, equality, caring LoC 200+

  • On the fundamental level there are no differences between all human beings. Mentally, emotionally, physically we are the same. On that level there is hardly any reason to fight.

 

Secondary culture: status based, pride⇔shame based Below LoC 200

  • On the secondary level there are a lot of divisions and barriers. On the secondary level there are different nationalities, different races, different colors, different religions. Within the communities there are the richer, the poorer, the educated, the uneducated, the more respected because of their highly esteemed professions, some are looked down because of their work.
    Many man-made problems, I believe, are due to too much emphasis on the secondary level of differences. We are forgetting the basic oneness of human beings. H.H. 14th Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso [LoC 570] (*1935) Tibetan monk, leader of the Gelug or "Yellow Hat" branch of Tibetan Buddhism, Peace Nobel Prize laureate, 1989, Peace Summit, clip 2 of 4 at 2/3rd section, minute 50:13-55:00, Vancouver, Sunday 27. September 2009

 

  • There's a shame that cripples, and a shame that stands us up in integrity. Without shame, there would be no conscience. Robert Augustus Masters, Ph.D., US American psychologist, psychotherapist, Facebook comment, 26. September 2010

 

 

  • The truth about childhood is stored up in our bodies and lives in the depths of our souls. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings can be numbed and manipulated, our perceptions shamed and confused, our bodies tricked with medication, but our soul never forgets. And because we are one, one whole soul in one body, someday our body will present its bill. The wounded and lost child is only in hiding; the soul is still whole in spirit. Ultimately, our deepest self will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting or contaminating us until we stop evading the truth. Alice Miller (1923-2010) Swiss psychologist, psychoanalyst, world renowned author on child abuse, The Drama of the Gifted Child

 

  • People select what they want to remember. And you have to remember the bad times. A lot of people are too ashamed to remember the bad times. If you can remember the shame, you can face it. The act of remembering makes you stronger. Because you survived it. You got through it. And it made you strong. Antwone Quenton Fisher (*1959) US American director, screenwriter, author, film producer, cited in: At Home with Antoine Quenton Fisher. A Child's Tale Told in Disbelief, The New York Times, Alex Kuczynski, 13. December 2001

 

(↓)

Paradox of shame

  • While pride is our emotional reward for doing good, shame is our emotional punishment for doing bad. Unfortunately, if our shame is too intense, or if we become depressed or obsessed with our digression, it can be debilitating and counterproductive. Consider shame as a slap on the wrist, examine what you did wrong, and take constructive steps to improve and move forward. Shame. We feel badly about ourselves, presented by Emotional Competency

 

  • The most dangerous men on earth are those who are afraid they are wimps. James Gilligan, Ph.D., US American psychiatrist, violence expert, author

 

  • No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) US American First Lady (1933-1945) supporter of her husband Franklin Delano Roosevelt's New Deal policies, advocate for civil rights

 

 

  • The difference between how a person treats the powerless versus the powerful is as good a measure of human character as I know. Robert I. Sutton, US American professor of management science, Stanford Engineering School, evidence-based management researcher

 

  • When you dismiss my story you dismiss who I am; you diminish me. Leland R. Beaumont, US American electrical engineer, computer scientist, quality technologist, system's thinker, creator and webmaster of EmotionalCompetency.com

Zitate (engl.) von Dr. Brené Brown

  • Shame hates to have words wrapped around it. If we talk about it, it loses its grip on us. A lot of my work is about helping give people language to understand, to make meaning out of their own experiences. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work

 

  • I think shame is probably the most primitive human emotion that we can experience. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, PBS Interview, part 1 of 2, YouTube film, posted 2. March 2008

 

  • Shame is far more likely to cause destructive behaviors than it is to cure them. [...] Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, bullying. [...] Shame corrodes the part of us that believes we can change for the better. [...] Shame is 'I am that', guilt is 'I did that'. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, Is shame good?, YouTube film, minute 00:39, 3:12 minutes duration, posted 2. March 2008

 

  • Recognizing shame is an important tool for regaining our power. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work

 

  • By telling your story and hearing others’ stories you force shame out of hiding and end the silence. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work

 

  • One of the most important benefits of reaching out to others is learning that the experiences that make us feel the most alone are actually universal experiences. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work

 

  • There is nothing more frustrating, and sometimes frightening, than feeling pain and not being able to describe or explain it to someone. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work

 

  • We need to share with those who have earned the right to hear it and people who are invested in the friendship. Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky. Sharing and hearing intimate stories is also not most people's "default setting," since we tend to self-protect from hurtful things. If someone drops a shame bomb on me, I am likely to give a non-compassionate response if my own resources feel scarce. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, Author Brené Brown Discusses Embracing Our Ordinariness, Huffington Post, 21. February 2011

 

  • Underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary. Often it's hard for people to believe that someone in their life who is critical and rejecting of them is really suffering from their own shame. Both shame and grandiosity come from the same feeling that "if I'm not above the rest, I'm not enough." Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, Author Brené Brown Discusses Embracing Our Ordinariness, Huffington Post, 21. February 2011

 

  • Our secrets definitely keep us addicted, which is probably why there are online sites where people can divest themselves of their secrets, anonymously. But because shame happens between people, there is no substitute for telling on ourselves, so to speak, to someone else and making ourselves vulnerable. Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn't feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, Author Brené Brown Discusses Embracing Our Ordinariness, Huffington Post, 21. February 2011

Englische Texte – English section on Shame

Differentiating Shame and Guilt

The painful feeling of shame is believing one is flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.
Shame is self focused: I am bad.
Guilt is behavior focused: I did something bad.

 

Shame Resilience and Cutting

  1. Recognizing shame and understanding our triggers
  2. Practicing critical awareness
  3. Reaching out
  4. Speaking shame

Dr. Brene Brown, LMSW, Shame Resilience Theory

Courage to stand up for one's beliefs vs. possible embarrassment

Briefly before Marianne Williamson was about to start her lecture she was informed:
First Lady Laura Bush is among the audience. Williamson wondered if she would bog down or give her speech regarding her view on President George W. Bush's politics whatsoever.
She decided to honor her stance even when facing an awkward situation.
She took care to refrain from personally demonizing the sitting President Bush or embarrassing his wife in public.

 

At the end of her talk shortly before shaking hands she was about to say to Laura Bush that she felt sorry, if she had offended her in any way. Laura Bush stopped her before she could open her mouth and repeated twice, "You did great. You did great".

Index: Scham / Shame – Bücher von D. Hawkins

Englische Werke

  • Buch 1E Hay House Ausgabe, S. 68 (Skala)
  • Buch 4E, S. 412 (Skala)
  • Buch 5E, Kapitel 1 Shame: Despair, S. 31ff

Index: Audio- und Videomedien (engl.) von und mit D. Hawkins

 

Links zum Thema Scham – BW 20 / Shame

Literatur

Literatur (engl.)

Externe Weblinks


Externe Weblinks (engl.)


Audio- und Videolinks (engl.)

  • Video presentation by Dr. Brené Brown, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, lecturer, University of Houston, Shame and Empathy, YouTube film, 8:39 minutes duration, posted 17. April 2007
    Excerpt from Brené Brown's new psychoeducational shame-resilience curriculum; the destructive nature of shame and the healing power of empathy
  • Video presentation by June Tangney, US American professor of psychology, George Mason University, Fairfax, Virginia, on Shame and Guilt: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, presented by George Mason University and Research Channel The Vision Series, YouTube film, 1:12:12 duration, posted 9. February 2008
    Research indicates that guilt (linked with empathy) is the more adaptive emotion as it can motivate people to behave in a moral, caring, socially responsible manner. Shame (about the self) (linked with aggression) can easily go awry.
  • Video interview with Dr. Brené Brown, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, lecturer, University of Houston, Shame and Guilt, presented by Living Smart, #404, Houston PBS, host Patricia Gras, Google video, 26:39 minutes duration, posted 29. April 2008
  • Video interview with Dr. Brené Brown, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, lecturer, University of Houston, Healing Shame, presented by Living Smart, Houston PBS, host Patricia Gras, YouTube film, 26:48 minutes duration, posted 16. March 2010
    Shame effects women and men differently.

 

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