Scham ist dem Tod (Tod = Null) nahe. Wer sich schämt, möchte am liebsten im Boden versinken und unsichtbar sein. Scham äußert sich bei vielen Menschen in Schüchternheit und Introvertiertheit oder auch in äußerst rigiden Moralvorstellungen. Sie kann Psychosen, Paranoia und bizarre Verbrechen zur Folge haben. Der Schamzerfressene betrachtet das eigene Selbst als unwürdig und schlecht und spricht sich selbst das Lebensrecht ab. Je nach Temperament wird das Gefühl der totalen Auslöschung introvertiert oder extrovertiert gelebt.

In vielen Kulturen war die schrecklichste Strafe jene der Verbannung, denn Menschen, die von der Gemeinschaft ausgeschlossen wurden, hatten fast keine Chance zu überleben. Heute manifestiert sich diese Ebene zum Beispiel im Namen der französischen Vorstädte, den «Banlieus», Bannmeilen, wo jene Menschen leben, deren der Staat sich schämt und sie womöglich jahrelang vernachlässigt und aus dem Bewusstsein verdrängt hat.

Insgeheim ist Stolz der Auslöser für Scham. Die Abwehrmechanismen von Beschämten sind, mit Beschuldigungen (Schuld) oder Aggression anzugreifen.

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Scham-Ebene: Tabelle der Anziehungen und Abneigungen

Anziehungen und Abneigungen auf der Ebene von Scham

Anziehung	Abneigung
Selbstbestrafung, Selbsthass	Selbstvergebung
Depression	Das Leben wählen
Verurteilen	Sich GOTTES Gnade übergeben
Negativität	Standpunkte loslassen
Schrumpfen, verbergen	Sichtbar sein
Das Selbst als wertlos ansehen	Das Geschenk des Lebens bejahen
Starre Selbstsicht	Korrigierbar, flexibel
Verdammen	Vergeben
Demütigung	Selbstwert wählen
Verunglimpfen	Sich selbst achten
Streng	Gütig
Unausgeglichen	Beide Seiten sehen
Sich selbst beschuldigen	Die Unwissenheit des Egos beschuldigen
Fehler übertreiben	Grenzen überschreiten
Selektive Teilsicht	Ausgeglichene Gesamtschau
Das Selbst wird als Verlierer gesehen	Das Selbst wurde korrigiert
Ende des Weges	Beginn des Neuen
Nicht liebenswert	Wert als Kind GOTTES
Irrtum ist unverzeihlich	Irrtum ist eine Lektion
Narzisstische Ausrichtung	Fürsorge um andere
Sich selbst selbstüberschätzend dienen	Dem Leben dienen
Schwelgen	Egoistische Standpunkte loslassen
Sich als Mittelpunkt des Lebens sehen	Sich als Teilnehmer des Lebens sehen
Auf sich selbst konzentriert	Auf andere ausgerichtet
„Hätte (tun, denken...) sollen“	War damals nicht fähig dazu

Inspiriert durch D. Hawkins, Erleuchtung ist möglich, S. 47f

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Zitate zum Thema Scham – BW 20 / Shame

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Zitate von D. Hawkins

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Zitate (engl.) von D. Hawkins

Energy Level 20 Shame

People at this emotional level are vulnerable to all the other negative emotions. They wish they were invisible. Banishment is a traditional accompaniment. It is destructive to health. Shame leads to cruelty to self and others and often results in paranoia, delusions, and psychosis. Source unknown

The level of Shame is perilously proximate to death, which may be chosen out of Shame as conscious suicide or more subtly elected by failure to take steps to prolong life. Death by avoidable accident is common here. We all have some awareness of the pain of "losing face", becoming discredited, or feeling like a "nonperson". In shame we hang our heads and sink away, wishing we were invisible. Power vs. Force, chapter IV

The behavior of people whose consciousness is only in the 20s is dangerous: they're prone to hallucinations of an accusatory nature, as well as paranoia; some become psychotic or commit bizarre crimes. Power vs. Force, chapter IV

To undo shame, it is helpful to realize that it is based on pride. The loss of status is painful to the degree that the ego relies on pride as a prop to self-esteem. Were it not for narcissistic pride, a mistake or negative feedback would be experienced only as a regret and ascribed to human frailty and fallibility. Mistakes help one retain humility. Along the Path to Enlightenment. 365 Reflections from David R. Hawkins, S. ?, Reflection of October 18th

Every time you attack the ego you reinforce it through guilt and shame. Attacking the ego — making it wrong and labeling it "sin" – is not helpful. You can only transcend it by familiarity, non-condemnation, acceptance, and compassion for one's own ego. Interview On the Trilogy of Book 1, 2 and 3, presented by Openexchange.org, Susanne Spitzer, 2004

Question: What's the best way to heal shame?
Answer: Shame is pride projected onto society and reflected back onto oneself. How can you evolve unless you make mistakes? (Life is for learning.) If you let go of pride, your mistakes look more like stupidity than evildoing. Sedona Seminar Advaita. The Way to God through Mind, 3 DVD set, August 2002

Question: What are the best ways to heal shame?
Answer: Shame is a tough one until you recontextualize it. Shame is really vanity, pride. Shame is pride projected onto society and you visit it back upon yourself. You let go of pridefulness and own that being a human leads you to being fallible. It’s OK to be stupid and make terrible mistakes, it’s inevitable, how can you evolve unless you make really bad mistakes, you can’t. So shame is then looking at your own behavior from the viewpoint of pride. From pride this looks like disgraceful behavior, but if you let go pride, it looks more like stupidity. Sedona Seminar Advaita. The Way to God through Mind, DVD 2 of 3, track 5, minute 41:50, August 2002

Stupidity is innate to the human condition, ignorance is what we are all born here with, we have a hardware computer with no programs on it. Shame is a technique used by parents, a misfortunate one. "Shame on you!" To teach a child to shame oneself is not too great a technique. It’s good for my business with prozac, all this stuff really helps with shame. So, they build up my business, but it’s not really a very good technique. Sedona Seminar Advaita. The Way to God through Mind, DVD 2 of 3, track 5, minute 40:50-42:44, August 2002

If we can't get what we want, then all these negative feelings come up. We're miserable, we're despairing, we’re going to commit suicide. When we give up, we reach hopelessness and go into apathy. For physical survival, the ego serves a function. If we don't get what we want, the approval we want, society’s approval, we experience shame. Ultimately we end up in hell. In the bottom of hell, there is eternal hopelessness, more ghastly than I can describe. Sedona Seminar Emotions and Sensations, 3 DVD set, 17. April 2004

If we don't get what we want, the approval we want, society's approval, we experience shame. Ultimately we end up in hell. In the bottom of hell, there is eternal hopelessness, more ghastly than I can describe. Sedona Seminar Emotions and Sensations, 3 DVD set, 17. April 2004

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Nacktheit als solche darf nicht gleichgesetzt werden mit physischer Schamlosigkeit. Unanständigkeit ist nur gegeben, wenn Nacktheit eine negative Rolle in Hinsicht auf den Wert einer Person spielt […] Der menschliche Körper ist nicht an sich beschämend, noch sind es sinnliche Reaktionen aus demselben Grund, und menschliche Sinnlichkeit im Allgemeinen. Schamlosigkeit (genau wie Scham und Anstand) ist eine Funktion des Inneren der Person. Johannes Paul II. [BW 570] (1920-2005) Papst der römisch-katholischen Kirche (1978-2005)

Den finsteren Gedanken, die Scham, die Bosheit, begrüße sie mit einem Lachen an der Tür und bitte sie herein. Danke jedem für sein Kommen, denn sie alle haben dir etwas Wichtiges mitzuteilen. Dschalal ad-Din Rumi [BW 550] (1207-1273) persischer islamischer Mystiker, Dichter des Sufismus

Liebe ist das probateste Mittel, um das Schamgefühl zu überwinden. Sigmund Freud [BW 499] (1856-1939) österreichischer Neurologe, Begründer der Tiefenpsychologe und der Psychoanalyse, Religionskritiker

Der Verlust von Scham ist das erste Zeichen von Schwachsinn. Sigmund Freud [BW 499] (1856-1939) österreichischer Neurologe, Begründer der Tiefenpsychologe und der Psychoanalyse, Religionskritiker

Es gibt ein Gefühl, bei dem Eltern aufmerken sollten, wenn es bei ihrem Kind auftritt: die Scham. Scham ist das Gefühl, das an den Konfliktpunkten zwischen Individuum und Gesellschaft entsteht. Wessen wir uns schämen, das decken wir bei uns zu und lieben es nicht. Wir fürchten die Schande: mit Schimpf und Schande verstoßen zu werden. Das gesellschaftlich Verpönte weckt im Individuum Scham. Solche sozial bedingte Scham ist nicht mit der natürlichen Scham, das heisst der Zurückhaltung, zu verwechseln, die wir manchmal brauchen, um zu uns zu kommen und bei uns zu bleiben. Menschen, die sich oft vor anderen schämen, sind unfrei, lieben sich nicht. Peter Schellenbaum (*1939) Schweizer Psychoanalytiker, Sachbuchautor, Die Wunde der Ungeliebten, S. 17

Wo Scham ist, da ist Ehre. Deutsches Sprichwort

Wo man keine Scham empfindet, da empfindet man auch keine Ehre. Äthiopisches Sprichwort

Tiefgreifende Veränderungen anstreben, heißt, Lösungen zu suchen, die v e r l e t z l i c h machen – und genau das lehnen die meisten Menschen ab. [...] Paradoxerweise wirkt genau das, was scheinbar zu nichts führt. [...] Die Ermutigung, sich anderen Menschen gegenüber verletzlich zu zeigen, bietet einen Ausweg aus der Scham. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. C.A.S., führender US-amerikanischer Sexsucht-Therapeut, Minneapolis, Wenn Sex zur Sucht wird, S. 254, Kösel-Verlag, 1992

Scham beruht auf der inneren Überzeugung, nicht annehmbar zu sein. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. C.A.S., führender US-amerikanischer Sexsucht-Therapeut, MinneapolisWenn Sex zur Sucht wird, S. 259, Kösel-Verlag, 1992

Scham und Heimlichkeit waren mitverantwortlich für die Entstehung der Sexsucht und Scham und Heimlichkeit (Sicherheit in der Anonymität) und behindern auch ihre Überwindung. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. C.A.S., führender US-amerikanischer Sexsucht-Therapeut, Minneapolis, Wenn Sex zur Sucht wird, S. 431, Kösel-Verlag, 1992

Scham flößt uns das Gefühl ein, dass wir nicht gut genug sind und es niemals sein werden. Daher ist Scham Gift für unser Glück, da sie Millionen Menschen dazu bringt, angesichts ihrer körperlichen Reaktionen zu verzweifeln – und das ein Leben lang. Deepak Chopra (*1946) indisch-US-amerikanischer Internist, Endokrinologe, Referent, Autor (Ayurveda, Spiritualität, Energiemedizin), Kama Sutra. Die spirituellen Gesetze der Liebe

Was ist dir das Menschlichste? Jemandem Scham zu ersparen. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900) deutscher klassischer Gelehrter, Philosoph, Kulturkritiker, Werke in drei Bänden, Bd. II Die fröhliche Wissenschaft, 1956

Was ist das Siegel der erreichbaren Freiheit? Sich nicht mehr vor sich selbst zu schämen. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900) deutscher klassischer Gelehrter, Philosoph, Kulturkritiker, Die fröhliche Wissenschaft, Werke in drei Bänden, Bd. II, 1956

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Zitate von Dr. Brené Brown

Scham hasst es, mit Worten belegt zu werden. Wenn wir über sie sprechen, löst sich ihr Zugriff auf uns. Ein Großteil meiner Arbeit ist Hilfestellung und Versprachlichung, damit die Leute verstehen und einen Sinn in ihren eigenen Erlebnissen zu erkennen. Dr. Brené Brown, LMSW, US-amerikanische Forscherin der Themen Scham, Verletzlichkeit, Empathie, Referentin, Universität von Houston

Ich denke Scham ist wahrscheinlich die primitivste menschliche Emotion, die wir erleben können. Dr. Brené Brown, LMSW, US-amerikanische Forscherin der Themen Scham, Verletzlichkeit, Empathie, Referentin, Universität von Houston, PBS Interview 1 von 2, YouTube Film, eingestellt 2. März 2008

Scham zu erkennen, ist ein wichtiges Werkzeug, um unsere Kraft wiederzugewinnen. Dr. Brené Brown, LMSW, US-amerikanische Forscherin der Themen Scham, Verletzlichkeit, Empathie, Referentin, Universität von Houston

Wenn du deine Geschichte erzählst und die Geschichten der anderen anhörst, zwingst du die Scham, aus ihrem Versteck herauszukommen und beendest das Schweigen. Dr. Brené Brown, LMSW, US-amerikanische Forscherin der Themen Scham, Verletzlichkeit, Empathie, Referentin, Universität von Houston

Wenn man sich anderen zuwendet, ist einer der wichtigsten Nutzen zu lernen, dass die Erfahrungen, die uns am stärksten dazu bringen, uns mutterseelenallein zu fühlen, tatsächlich weltumfassend sind. Dr. Brené Brown, LMSW, US-amerikanische Forscherin der Themen Scham, Verletzlichkeit, Empathie, Referentin, Universität von Houston

Es gibt nichts Frustrierenderes und manchmal Erschreckenderes als Schmerz zu fühlen, ohne ihn jemandem beschreiben oder erklären zu können. Dr. Brené Brown, LMSW, US-amerikanische Forscherin der Themen Scham, Verletzlichkeit, Empathie, Referentin, Universität von Houston

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Zitate (engl.) von anderen Quellen

You enter the Kingdom when you tread upon the garment of shame, and when the two become one and the male with the female neither male nor female. Greek Gospel of the Egyptians, quoted by St. Clement of Alexandria, Stromateis, Second Epistle of Clement, chapter xii.2
cp. with Gospel of Thomas, verse 022

Fundamental culture: based on human dignity, equality, caring LoC 200+

On the fundamental level there are no differences between all human beings. Mentally, emotionally, physically we are the same. On that level there is hardly any reason to fight.

Secondary culture: status based, pride⇔shame based Below LoC 200

On the secondary level there are a lot of divisions and barriers. On the secondary level there are different nationalities, different races, different colors, different religions. Within the communities there are the richer, the poorer, the educated, the uneducated, the more respected because of their highly esteemed professions, some are looked down because of their work.
Many man-made problems, I believe, are due to too much emphasis on the secondary level of differences. We are forgetting the basic oneness of human beings. H.H. 14th Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso [LoC 570] (*1935) Tibetan monk, leader of the Gelug or "Yellow Hat" branch of Tibetan Buddhism, Peace Nobel Prize laureate, 1989, Peace Summit, clip 2 of 4 at 2/3rd section, minute 50:13-55:00, Vancouver, Sunday 27. September 2009

There's a shame that cripples, and a shame that stands us up in integrity. Without shame, there would be no conscience. Robert Augustus Masters, Ph.D., US American psychologist, psychotherapist, Facebook comment, 26. September 2010

One of the most difficult, yet healing experiences for most men, is to just let ourselves be held and nurtured. The main reason that men are so preoccupied with sex, I believe, is that they are ashamed of their desire to be held like a child. Jed Diamond, Ph.D., US American psychotherapist, 10 Tips for Keeping Irritable Male Syndrome From Wrecking Your Relationship, autumn 2010

The truth about childhood is stored up in our bodies and lives in the depths of our souls. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings can be numbed and manipulated, our perceptions shamed and confused, our bodies tricked with medication, but our soul never forgets. And because we are one, one whole soul in one body, someday our body will present its bill. The wounded and lost child is only in hiding; the soul is still whole in spirit. Ultimately, our deepest self will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting or contaminating us until we stop evading the truth. Alice Miller (1923-2010) Swiss psychologist, psychoanalyst, world renowned author on child abuse, The Drama of the Gifted Child

People select what they want to remember. And you have to remember the bad times. A lot of people are too ashamed to remember the bad times. If you can remember the shame, you can face it. The act of remembering makes you stronger. Because you survived it. You got through it. And it made you strong. Antwone Quenton Fisher (*1959) US American director, screenwriter, author, film producer, cited in: At Home with Antoine Quenton Fisher. A Child's Tale Told in Disbelief, The New York Times, Alex Kuczynski, 13. December 2001

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Paradox of shame

While pride is our emotional reward for doing good, shame is our emotional punishment for doing bad. Unfortunately, if our shame is too intense, or if we become depressed or obsessed with our digression, it can be debilitating and counterproductive. Consider shame as a slap on the wrist, examine what you did wrong, and take constructive steps to improve and move forward. Shame. We feel badly about ourselves, presented by Emotional Competency

The most dangerous men on earth are those who are afraid they are wimps. James Gilligan, Ph.D., US American psychiatrist, violence expert, author

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) US American First Lady (1933-1945) supporter of her husband Franklin Delano Roosevelt's New Deal policies, advocate for civil rights

The truly humble person cannot be humiliated.
The fear of humiliation appears to be one of the most powerful motivators in individual and collective human behavior. Donald Charles Klein, Ph.D. (1923-2007) US American clinical psychologist, Human Dignity and Humiliation Studies. Breaking the Cycle of Humiliation

The difference between how a person treats the powerless versus the powerful is as good a measure of human character as I know. Robert I. Sutton, US American professor of management science, Stanford Engineering School, evidence-based management researcher

When you dismiss my story you dismiss who I am; you diminish me. Leland R. Beaumont, US American electrical engineer, computer scientist, quality technologist, system's thinker, creator and webmaster of EmotionalCompetency.com

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Zitate (engl.) von Dr. Brené Brown

Shame hates to have words wrapped around it. If we talk about it, it loses its grip on us. A lot of my work is about helping give people language to understand, to make meaning out of their own experiences. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work

I think shame is probably the most primitive human emotion that we can experience. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, PBS Interview, part 1 of 2, YouTube film, posted 2. March 2008

Shame is far more likely to cause destructive behaviors than it is to cure them. [...] Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, bullying. [...] Shame corrodes the part of us that believes we can change for the better. [...] Shame is 'I am that', guilt is 'I did that'. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, Is shame good?, YouTube film, minute 00:39, 3:12 minutes duration, posted 2. March 2008

Recognizing shame is an important tool for regaining our power. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work

By telling your story and hearing others’ stories you force shame out of hiding and end the silence. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work

One of the most important benefits of reaching out to others is learning that the experiences that make us feel the most alone are actually universal experiences. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work

There is nothing more frustrating, and sometimes frightening, than feeling pain and not being able to describe or explain it to someone. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work

We need to share with those who have earned the right to hear it and people who are invested in the friendship. Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky. Sharing and hearing intimate stories is also not most people's "default setting," since we tend to self-protect from hurtful things. If someone drops a shame bomb on me, I am likely to give a non-compassionate response if my own resources feel scarce. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, Author Brené Brown Discusses Embracing Our Ordinariness, Huffington Post, 21. February 2011

Underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary. Often it's hard for people to believe that someone in their life who is critical and rejecting of them is really suffering from their own shame. Both shame and grandiosity come from the same feeling that "if I'm not above the rest, I'm not enough." Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, Author Brené Brown Discusses Embracing Our Ordinariness, Huffington Post, 21. February 2011

Our secrets definitely keep us addicted, which is probably why there are online sites where people can divest themselves of their secrets, anonymously. But because shame happens between people, there is no substitute for telling on ourselves, so to speak, to someone else and making ourselves vulnerable. Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn't feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW brenebrown.com, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher and lecturer, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, Author Brené Brown Discusses Embracing Our Ordinariness, Huffington Post, 21. February 2011

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Englische Texte – English section on Shame

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Differentiating Shame and Guilt

The painful feeling of shame is believing one is flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.
Shame is self focused: I am bad.
Guilt is behavior focused: I did something bad.

Shame Resilience and Cutting

Recognizing shame and understanding our triggers
Practicing critical awareness
Reaching out
Speaking shame

Dr. Brene Brown, LMSW, Shame Resilience Theory

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Courage to stand up for one's beliefs vs. possible embarrassment

Briefly before Marianne Williamson was about to start her lecture she was informed:
First Lady Laura Bush is among the audience. Williamson wondered if she would bog down or give her speech regarding her view on President George W. Bush's politics whatsoever.
She decided to honor her stance even when facing an awkward situation.
She took care to refrain from personally demonizing the sitting President Bush or embarrassing his wife in public.

At the end of her talk shortly before shaking hands she was about to say to Laura Bush that she felt sorry, if she had offended her in any way. Laura Bush stopped her before she could open her mouth and repeated twice, "You did great. You did great".

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Index: Scham / Shame – Bücher von D. Hawkins

Buch 1, S. 69
Buch 2, S. 443 (Skala)
Buch 3, S. 553 (Skala)
Buch 5, Kapitel 1 Scham: Hoffnungslosigkeit, S. 31ff

Englische Werke

Buch 1E Hay House Ausgabe, S. 68 (Skala)
Buch 4E, S. 412 (Skala)
Buch 5E, Kapitel 1 Shame: Despair, S. 31ff

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Externe Weblinks

Wikipedia-Eingträge Nacktheit, Scham

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Externe Weblinks (engl.)

Wikipedia entries Nakedness, Shame

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Audio- und Videolinks (engl.)

Video presentation by Dr. Brené Brown, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, lecturer, University of Houston, Shame and Empathy, YouTube film, 8:39 minutes duration, posted 17. April 2007
Excerpt from Brené Brown's new psychoeducational shame-resilience curriculum; the destructive nature of shame and the healing power of empathy
Video presentation by June Tangney, US American professor of psychology, George Mason University, Fairfax, Virginia, on Shame and Guilt: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, presented by George Mason University and Research Channel The Vision Series, YouTube film, 1:12:12 duration, posted 9. February 2008
Research indicates that guilt (linked with empathy) is the more adaptive emotion as it can motivate people to behave in a moral, caring, socially responsible manner. Shame (about the self) (linked with aggression) can easily go awry.
Video interview with Dr. Brené Brown, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, lecturer, University of Houston, Shame and Guilt, presented by Living Smart, #404, Houston PBS, host Patricia Gras, Google video, 26:39 minutes duration, posted 29. April 2008
Video interview with Dr. Brené Brown, US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, lecturer, University of Houston, Healing Shame, presented by Living Smart, Houston PBS, host Patricia Gras, YouTube film, 26:48 minutes duration, posted 16. March 2010
Shame effects women and men differently.