• Anger is the deepest form of compassion, for another, for the world, for the self, for a life, for the body, for a family and for all our ideals, all vulnerable and all, possibly about to be hurt. Stripped of physical imprisonment and violent reaction, anger is the purest form of care, the internal living flame of anger always illuminates what we belong to, what we wish to protect and what we are willing to hazard ourselves for. What we usually call anger is only what is left of its essence when we are overwhelmed by its accompanying vulnerability, when it reaches the lost surface of our mind or our body’s incapacity to hold it, or when it touches the limits of our understanding. What we name as anger is actually only the incoherent physical incapacity to sustain this deep form of care in our outer daily life; the unwillingness to be large enough and generous enough to hold what we love helplessly in our bodies or our mind with the clarity and breadth of our whole being. David Whyte (*1955) US American poet, writer, Consolations. The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words, Many Rivers Press, 1. January 2015

• What we have named as anger on the surface is the violent outer response to our own inner powerlessness, a powerlessness connected to such a profound sense of rawness and care that it can find no proper outer body or identity or voice, or way of life to hold it. What we call anger is often simply the unwillingness to live the full measure of our fears or of our not knowing, in the face of our love for a wife, in the depth of our caring for a son, in our wanting the best, in the face of simply being alive and loving those with whom we live.
• Our anger breaks to the surface most often through our feeling there is something profoundly wrong with this powerlessness and vulnerability. […] Anger in its pure state is the measure of the way we are implicated in the world and made vulnerable through love in all its specifics. David Whyte (*1955) US American poet, writer, Consolations. The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words, Many Rivers Press, 1. January 2015

• Anger truly felt at its center is the essential living flame of being fully alive and fully here; it is a quality to be followed to its source, to be prized, to be tended, and an invitation to finding a way to bring that source fully into the world through making the mind clearer and more generous, the heart more compassionate and the body larger and strong enough to hold it. What we call anger on the surface only serves to define its true underlying quality by being a complete but absolute mirror-opposite of its true internal essence. David Whyte (*1955) US American poet, writer, Consolations. The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words, Many Rivers Press, 1. January 2015

• [Paraphrased] Men have much higher suicide rates than women do and that suicide rates increase dramatically as men age. Men between the ages of 65 and 85 killed themselves almost 10 times more frequently than do women of the same age. Further, unlike women, men often "act out" their depression and become more aggressive and sometimes violent. The comedian Elayne Boosler captured these male/female differences when she observed, "When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking." Jed Diamond, Ph.D., US American psychotherapist, marriage and family counselor, author, The Irritable Male Syndrome. Understanding and Managing the 4 Key Causes of Depression and Aggression, Rodale Books, 2004, reprint issue 11. August 2005

Research results regarding the emergence of IMS on 30.000 growing up to 60.000 men worldwide.
Offer by Jed Diamond since 2004: Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS) Quiz
The IMS Questionnaire. Do You Have Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS)
Take the Irritable Male Syndrome Quiz

• I define Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS) as a state of hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustratrion and anger that occurs in males and is associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and a loss of male identity.
  The five key causes of IMS are:
  1. Hormonal fluctuations (andropause; low testosterone level)
  2. Changes in brain chemistry
  3. Increasing stress
  4. Loss of male identity and increasing role confusion
  5, Loneliness, depression (Noonday Demon).
  What the women have told me that one of the characterictics of IMS is generally denial.

• I use the term "Mr. Mean" to describe men who have not dealt effectively with Irritable Male Syndrome. These men are often driven by aggression, either expressed directely, or more often suppressed. As a result they often seem: Grumpy, angry, gloomy, impatient, tense, hostile, lonely, and stressed. They don’t seem comfortable in their own skin. They may drink too much, become consumed with their work, or escape in other ways.
  She [Mr. Mean's partner] often feels like she is "walking on egg shells." She doesn't know how he will react. Sometimes he is easy going, loving, and tender. But he may also fly off the handle and react with anger. Or he may simply withdraw into hostile silence. She may go out of her way to be kind and understanding, but she is confused about what is going on with him. It may seem like she is living with a partner who can change from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. Without help and support, she can feel increasingly alone and hopeless. […]
  If the trust is being undermined by IMS, that needs to be dealt with first. If hormone levels are out of balance, they need to be brought back in line. Hormone replacement therapy can be considered, but men can also benefit from changes in diet, exercise, changes in mind-set.

• Men and women often express stress in their lives differently.
  Women often "act in" their stress and feel sad and depressed.
  Men, on the other hand, often "act out" their stress and become irritable and angry.
  Women often internalize their pain and blame themselves for their problems.
  Men often externalize their pain and blame the women in their lives.
  When I counsel men, I often hear a litany of complaints that often focus on their wives.
  After listening and empathizing I begin to help them recognize that it isn’t their "wife" that is the problem, but rather their "life" that is out of balance.
  I also help them see that the stress isn’t just coming from their internal state of being, but also results from the world around us.

• We live at time where male irritability, anger, rage, and violence have become increasingly acceptable in movies, media, and our lives. Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS) can occur at any age, but is most prevalent in young men and in men over 40. We often aren’t aware of the extent of our anger. Here’s a questionnaire used by Harvard University researchers in assessing anger in men. Answer true or false to the following:
  1. At times I feel like swearing.
  2. At times I feel like smashing things.
  3. I often can’t understand why I’ve been so irritable and grouchy.
  4. At times I feel like picking a fistfight with someone.
  5. I easily become impatient with people.
  6. I am often said to be hotheaded.
  7. I am often annoyed when someone tries to get ahead of me in a line.
  8. I have at times had to be rough with people who were rude or annoying.
  9. I am often sorry because I am so irritable and grouchy.
  10. It makes me angry to have people hurry me.
  11. I am very stubborn.
  12. Sometimes I get so angry and upset, I don’t know what comes over me.
  13. I have gotten angry and broken furniture or dishes when I was drinking.
  14. I have become so angry with someone that I have felt as if I would explode.
  15. I’ve been so angry at times that I’ve hurt someone in a physical fight.
  16. I almost never lose self-control.

Five constitutions of violence prone males

1. The male brain is not wired for empathy. Men can learn to become more empathic.
2. Males have higher levels of testosterone. Strengthening of family ties;
   encouraging fathers to stay involved with their children
3. Males generate lower levels of oxytocin. Get a good massage regularly.
4. Males have fewer friends than females. Engage in close friendships. Join a men's group.
5. Men react more violently to shame than women. Address shame. Accept it rather than denying it.