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Wenn ein Kind ...

Wenn ein Kind verspottet wird, lernt es, schüchtern zu sein.
Wenn ein Kind beschämt wird, lernt es, sich schuldig zu fühlen.

 

Wenn ein Kind verstanden und toleriert wird, lernt es geduldig zu sein.
Wenn ein Kind ermutigt wird, lernt es, sich selbst zu vertrauen.

 

Wenn ein Kind gelobt wird, lernt es, sich selbst zu schätzen.
Wenn ein Kind gerecht behandelt wird, lernt es, gerecht zu sein.

 

Wenn ein Kind geborgen lebt, lernt es, zu vertrauen.
Wenn ein Kind anerkannt wird, lernt es, sich selbst zu mögen.

 

Wenn ein Kind in Freundschaft angenommen wird, lernt es, in der Welt Liebe zu finden.

 

Text aus einer tibetischen Schule

Zitate zum Thema Kinder, Elternschaft und Erziehung / Children, parenthood and education

Zitate von D. Hawkins

Ehre Vater und Mutter! Matthäus 19, 19 (NT)

 

Und jeder, der um meines Namens willen Häuser oder Brüder, Schwestern, Vater, Mutter, Kinder oder Äcker verlassen hat, wird dafür das Hundertfache erhalten und das ewige Leben gewinnen. Matthäus 19, 29 (NT)

 

Da ich ein Kind war, da redete ich wie ein Kind und war klug wie ein Kind und hatte kindische Anschläge; da ich aber ein Mann ward, tat ich ab, was kindisch war. Paulusbrief, 1. Korinther 13, 11 (NT)

 

⚠ Achtung Siehe Power vs. Truth (engl.) Januar 2013

Quotes by D. Hawkins

Honor your father and mother! Matthews 19, 19 (NT)

 

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. Matthews 19, 29 (NT)

 

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child;
but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
1 Corinthians 13, 11 (NT)
⚠ Caveat See Power vs. Truth, January 2013

  • Give a child spiritual standards. If you're loved by a child we become the 'ego ideal' and we get 'introjected' into the child's psyche. Teachers, then, be kind and forgiving. Tell them THIS is what we strive for. Tell them we won't always win. It's OK, because in life mistakes are part of it. Source unknown

 

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Animal brain surfacing in childhood

  • [L]ove and peace are the greatest threats to the 'ego' which defends itself by resorting to entrenched positionalities that lie hidden in the unconscious. These non-loving attitudes have arisen from the still present biologic, survival-oriented animal brain which surfaces in childhood where parental and societal pressures force them to go underground by the well-known psychological ego mechanisms of repression, denial, suppression, reaction formation, projection, and rationalization. I. Reality and Subjectivity, chapter 19, S. 325, 2003

 


Bildnis seines Sohnes Nikolas; Maler: Peter Paul Rubens
  • Accept that the concept of ‘the fear of God’ is ignorance. God is peace and love and nothing else. […] Realize that the depiction of God as a 'judge' is a delusion of the ego that arises as a projection of guilt from the punishment in childhood. Realize that God is not a parent. I. Reality and Subjectivity, chapter 6, S. 108, item 4, 2003

 

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Peer culture and disrespect for parents

  • Adolescents respond primarily to the pressures of peers and the media and give lip service to parents. This disrespect for parents is aided and abetted by current social, educational, and political forces that derive a sense of power from disclaiming the authenticity of all authority. The error is based on the misperception of integrous, true authority as nonauthentic authoritarianism, i,e., the "postmodern" rejection of logic, intelligence, rationality, and ethics. Truth vs. Falsehood. How to Tell the Difference, chapter 9 Social Structure and Functional Truth, S. 103, 2005

 

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Programming of an innocent child

  • It is out of lovingness and trust of its parents, its teachers, and the world of television, commercials, and society that the child becomes programmed. The innocence of the child becomes progressively less apparent because it is now displaying all the programs it has picked up out of that primary innocence. It starts to believe the prejudices of its parents and playmates, such as little sly remarks like, "We don't play with certain kinds of people". What buys that negative program? It is the innocence of the child, which remains within our consciousness throughout our life. it is always going on. Healing and Recovery, chapter 2 Assisting Healing, S. 59, 2009

 

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Childhood sexual abuse memories

US American psychoanalyst and critical author on Sigmund Freud's theoretical concepts and psychoanalysis Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson, Ph.D. (*1941) debunked Freud's seduction theory in his book The Assault on Truth. Freud's Suppression of the Seduction Theory, 1984.
See also: Confabulation

  • Childhood sexual abuse memories are false 80% of the time. They're mostly unconscious fantasies. Freudian theories are closer to the truth about it than modern pop psychology. Video presentation demonstrating muscle testing Power vs. Force, Volume Series I, 2 DVD set, 11. November 1995

 

  • Question: How do you recommend raising a child in today's world?
    Answer: That is a complex question. You have to define your role as a parent. Each person has a different answer. Unconditional love is a priority. Teach them how to be happy and successful in the world. Create an appreciation for beauty in all its expressions. Allow them to hear spiritual truth and energize their willingness to pursue it. Prescott Seminar Freedom. Morality and Ethics, 3 DVD set, 8. November 2008

Zitate von anderen Quellen

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Nattürliches Staunen [awe]

  • Das Zurückgewinnen des verletzten Kindes in Ihnen erinnert an ein Zen-Erlebnis. Kinder sind von Natur aus Zen-Meister, ihre Welt entsteht in jedem Augenblick wieder völlig neu. Für das nicht verletzte Kind ist das Staunen natürlich. Das Leben ist ein Mysterium, das gelebt werden will. Die Heimkehr ist die Wiederherstellung des Natürlichen. Eine solche Wiederherstellung ist nicht grandios oder dramatisch, sondern zeigt einfach nur, wie das Leben sein sollte. John Bradshaw [BW 460] (*1933) US-amerikanischer Philosoph, Theologe, Psychologe, Autor, Das Kind in uns. Wie finde ich zu mir selbst, S. 87, Droemer Knaur Verlag, München, 14. August 2000

 

  • Die EEGs von Kindern sind ganz anders als die von Erwachsenen!
    Kinder bis 5 Jahre zeigen fast keine (!) Betawellenaktivität. Säuglinge (bis 18 Monate) zeigen dominierende Delta-Zustände, die langsam durch höhere Amplituden gekennzeichnet sind. Kleinkinder (18 Monate bis 5 Jahre) sind Thetawellen-dominiert. Kinder ab fünf Jahren bis ungefähr 15 Jahren sind Alphawellen-dominiert. Die Thetawellenanteile gehen langsam zurück. Betawellen erscheinen erst nach und nach mit dem Großwerden. Das "normale Erwachsenen-EEG" mit hohen Beta-Anteilen bildet sich erst im Alter von etwa 14 bis 20 Jahren heraus. Später, wenn wir alt geworden sind [60 Jahre aufwärts], beruhigen sich die Hirnwellen wieder und gehen wieder in den Alpha-Bereich zurück. Prof. Dr. Gunter Dueck (*1951) deutscher Professor für Mathematik, Dozent, weltanschaulich-philosophischer Sachbuchautor, Topothesie. Der Mensch in artgerechter Haltung Springer, Kapitel 3, S. 46, 1. Auflage, 27. September 2004

 

  • Das Schöne an Kindern ist, das sie in ihrer eigenen Fantasiewelt leben und nicht von der Gesellschaft korrumpiert worden sind. Sie haben noch keine Grenzen in ihrem Denken und sind frei, bevor es ihnen in der Schule durch strukturiertes Lernen genommen wird. Steven Spielberg (*1946) US-amerikanischer Filmregisseur

 

  • Ritalin ist eine Pille gegen eine erfundene Krankheit, gegen die Krankheit, ein schwieriger Junge zu sein. Deutsche Apothekerzeitung

 

  • "Die genetische Veranlagung für ADHS wird vollkommen überschätzt." Stattdessen sollten Kinderpsychiater lieber viel gründlicher die psychosozialen Gründe ermitteln, die zu Verhaltensauffälligkeiten führen können, so Eisenberg gegenüber dem deutschen Wissenschaftsjournalisten und Sachbuchautor Jörg Blech, der durch seine umfassende Kritik an der Pharmaindustrie und sein Buch Die Krankheitserfinder bekannt wurde. Späte Einsicht, zu spät, viel zu spät! Interviewauszug mit Leon Eisenberg, M.D. (1922-2009) US-amerikanischer Kinder- und Sozialpsychiater, medizinischer Dozent, Erfinder des psychiatrischen Krankheitsbilds Aufmerksamkeitsdefizit-/Hyperaktivitätssyndrom (ADHS), Ritalin: Wie die Pharmaindustrie unsere Kinder vorsätzlich zerstört, präsentiert von Kopp online,  Eva Herman (*1958) deutsche Fernsehmoderatorin, Autorin, 2. April 2012

Zitate von Arno Grün

  • Diese Angst, wenn sie einen Höhepunkt erreicht, zwingt die Kinder automatisch, sich dem Willen des Angreifers unterzuordnen, jede seiner Wunscherregungen zu erraten und zu befolgen, sich selber ganz zu vergessen, sich mit dem Angreifer voll und ganz zu identifizieren […] Dieser Zustand wird im allgemeinen im Alter zwischen vier und zehn Monaten induziert. Arno Gruen (*1923) deutsch-schweizerischer Psychologe, Psychoanalytiker, Schriftsteller, Der Verlust des Mitgefühls. Über die Politik der Gleichgültigkeit, Deutscher Taschenbuch Verlag, 1. Oktober 1997

 

  • Es ist schwer, sich dem eigenen Terror zu stellen, sich die Defizite in der Liebe unserer Eltern einzugestehen und den eigenen Schmerz und die eigenen Verletzungen (wieder) zu durchleben. Aber es ist der einzige Weg zu einer wirklichen Befreiung von der Knechtschaft. Konfuzius sagte: »Wer sein Leiden leidet, wird frei vom Leiden«. Arno Gruen (*1923) deutsch-schweizerischer Psychologe, Psychoanalytiker, Schriftsteller, Der Fremde in uns, Deutscher Taschenbuch Verlag, 2. Auflage, 1. November 2002

 

  • Wer sein Eigenes zugunsten einer Identifikation mit lieblosen Eltern (und damit sind auch verwöhnende Eltern gemeint […]), verwerfen musste, wird oft zeitlebens von einem unbewussten inneren Terror angetrieben, den Unterdrücker zu idealisieren und die Liebe für das Eigene in Hass zu verwandeln. Arno Gruen (*1923) deutsch-schweizerischer Psychologe, Psychoanalytiker, Schriftsteller, Der Fremde in uns, Deutscher Taschenbuch Verlag, 2. Auflage, 1. November 2002

 

  • Wenn die empathischen Wahrnehmungen eines Kleinkinds nicht den programmierten Wahrnehmungen der Eltern entsprechen, wird die Diskrepanz zwischen den zwei Welten, der des Kindes und der der Eltern, zum »Fehler« des Kindes. Indem das Kind die Diskrepanz zum eigenen Fehler macht, erhält es sich paradoxerweise am Leben. Denn von den Eltern abgelehnt zu sein, sich als nicht geliebt zu erleben, das bedeutet, der Hoffnungslosigkeit ausgeliefert zu sein. Arno Gruen (*1923) deutsch-schweizerischer Psychologe, Psychoanalytiker, Schriftsteller, Verratene Liebe, falsche Götter, Klett-Cotta, 2. Auflage, November 2003

 

  • Wir müssen dafür sorgen, dass unsere Kinder so aufwachsen, dass ein inneres Opfersein gar nicht erst entsteht […] und das Wohl unserer Kinder festigen. Es würde soviel weniger kosten, in das Leben zu investieren, anstatt Aufrüstung und Kriege zu finanzieren. Wir haben keinen anderen Weg als den des Lebens. Arno Gruen (*1923) deutsch-schweizerischer Psychologe, Psychoanalytiker, Schriftsteller, Der Kampf um die Demokratie. Der Extremismus, die Gewalt und der Terror, Deutscher Taschenbuch Verlag, 1. Oktober 2004

Quotes by various other sources

Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless. Isaiah 1, 17 (OT)

 

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"
He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.
And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 18, 1-4 (NT)

 

Personal avowals

  • Who would not shudder if he were given the choice of eternal death or life again as a child? Who would not choose to die? St. Augustine of Hippo [LoC 550, works 503] (354-430 AD) Algerian bishop, church father, philosopher, theologian

 

 

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Source:

Building a Culture of Empathy and Compassion Obama Empathy Speech Index

  • I remember what my mother used to tell me. [...] the one time that she'd get really angry with me is if she ever thought that I was being mean to somebody or unfair to somebody. She said, imagine standing in their shoes, imagine looking through their eyes. That basic idea of empathy. Barack Obama (*1961) 44th US president, Saddleback Civil Forum Presidency, Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, California, host Father Rick Warren (*1954) US American evangelical Christian minister, philanthropist, bestseller author, Saturday, 16. August 2008
  • Perhaps you think it is your childhood home that you would find again. The childhood of your body, and its place of shelter, are a memory now so distorted that you merely hold a picture of a past that never happened. Yet there is a child in you Who seeks His Father's house, and knows that He is alien here. This childhood is eternal, with an innocence that will endure forever. Where this Child shall go is holy ground. It is His Holiness that lights up Heaven, and that brings to earth the pure reflection of the light above, wherein are earth and Heaven joined as one. A Course in Miracles, workbook [LoC 600], lesson 182, 1976, rev. 1996

 

  • The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers. Attributed to Socrates [LoC 540] (469-399 BC) Ancient Greek pre-Christian philosopher by Plato [LoC 485] (427-347 BC) Ancient Greek pre-Christian philosopher, founder of the occidental philosophy, cited in: William L. Patty, Louise S. Johnson, Personality and Adjustment, S. 277, 1953

 

  • The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parents. Carl Gustav Jung [LoC 520/540] (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist, psychoanalytist, founder of a new school of analytical depth psychology

 


Lawrence Whittemore, Flickr photo
  • We owe our children, the most vulnerable citizens in our society, a life free of violence and fear. Nelson Mandela [Influence LoC 505] (1918-2013) South African anti-apartheid activist, prisoner for 27 years during apartheid, first black president of South Africa (1994-1999), cited in: Etienne G. Krug (editor), World Report on Violence and Health, Volume 1, Foreword, S. ix, World Health Organization, Geneva, 2002

 

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After relating his patient's memory of having been raped by her father at age two Freud cited Goethe's poem:

Kennst du das Land?

  • A new motto: What has been done to you, poor child? Sigmund Freud [LoC 499] (1856-1939) Austrian neurologist, deep psychologist, founder of psychoanalysis, critic of religion, letter to Wilhelm Fliess, 22. December 1897

 

  • Children will draw pictures with everything in them […] houses and trees and people and animals […] and the sun AND the moon. Grown-up says, “That’s a nice picture, Honey, but you put the moon and the sun in the sky at the same time and that isn’t right.” But the child is right!  The sun and moon are in the sky at the same time. Buckminster Fuller [LoC 445] (1895-1983) US American engineer, systems theorist, architect, constructor, designer, inventor, futurist, philosopher, author

 

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Early childhood experiences to the development of the brain:

ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder: (General) Poor impulse control, 2. Physical hyperactivity 3. Poor attention skills

  • The conditions in which children develop have been so corrupted and troubled [in post-industrial capitalism] over the last several decades that the template for normal childhood development is no longer present. Gabor Maté, M.D. drgabormate.com (*1944) Hungarian-Canadian physician, addiction expert, speaker, author, video interview Stress-Disease Connection, Addiction and the Destruction of American Childhood, presented by US American Democracy Now!, US American non-profit TV station, host Amy Goodman (*1957) US American broadcast journalist, syndicated columnist, investigative reporter, author, minute 14:22, 59:05 minutes duration, aired (Feb 2010-Jun 2011) 25. December 2012

 

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post-industrial capitalist societies scapegoat their teachers.

  • The very teachers who work with the most difficult children are the ones who are most penalized. […] Teachers are being slandered now because of the failure of the American society to produce the right environment of childhood development. Gabor Maté, M.D. drgabormate.com (*1944) Hungarian-Canadian physician, addiction expert, speaker, author, video interview Stress-Disease Connection, Addiction and the Destruction of American Childhood, presented by US American Democracy Now!, US American non-profit TV station, host Amy Goodman (*1957) US American broadcast journalist, syndicated columnist, investigative reporter, author, minute 37:35, 59:05 minutes duration, aired (Feb 2010-Jun 2011) 25. December 2012

 

 

 

  • Peer-oriented kids go to school to be with their friends, not to learn. If these friends are also not into learning, academic performance will slip. When children go to school to be with one another, they are primed only to learn enough not to stand out, to remain with those their own age. Other than that, learning is irrelevant and can even be a liability to peer relationships. Gordon Neufeld, Canadian clinical psychologist, coauthor, Hold On to Your Kids. Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers, S. 236-237, Ballantine Books, 26. April 2005, reprint, 15. August 2006

 

  • Interestingly, home-schoolers are now the favored applicants of some big-name universities. According to Jon Reider, admissions official at Stanford University in California, they are desirable applicants because "home-schoolers bring certain skills – motivation, curiosity, the capacity to be responsible for their education – that high school don't induce very well." In other words, preschooled kids may have to best head start, but home-schooled kids have the best finish, because in our educational system we have neglected the crucial role of attachment. Gordon Neufeld, Canadian clinical psychologist, coauthor, Hold On to Your Kids. Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers, S. 237-238, Ballantine Books, 26. April 2005, reprint, 15. August 2006

 

  • Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father. Gloria Steinem gloriasteinem.com (*1934) leading US American feminist of the new women's movement, visionary and political activist, journalist, writer

 

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ADHD is suffering from childhood in a conformist patriarchy.

  • Children are not, for the most part, suffering from psychological conditions [like ADHD]. They are suffering from childhood. Kids prosper best with a broad curriculum that celebrates their various talents, not just a small range of them. Video presentation by Sir Ken Robinson (*1950) British professor of arts education, University of Warwick (1989-2001), director of The Arts in Schools Project (1985-1989), international advisor on education, speaker, author, How to escape education's death valley, presented by TED Talks Education, New York City, minute 5:41, 19:11 minutes duration, filmed April 2013, posted May 2013

 

  • Women as both wage earners and homemakers feel the contradictions more in our society. They feel more subtle, institutional discrimination. If a society inherits dysfunctional institutions then it is often the people with intelligence, skills, and an alternative perspective who are going to come up with better answers, rather than the people who have inherited positions that were already favored. In these cases, it is women who will play an increasingly important role. Besides this, approximately 80 percent of the people in the Western world are concerned that their children will inherit a worse world than the one in which they grew up. People tend to do for their children what they wouldn’t do for themselves. Women, especially, will push for change and for a better world because of their children. Interview with Paul H. Ray, Ph.D. paul-ray, US American professor of anthropology and sociology, University of Michigan, founding partner of Integral Partnerships, consultant of Cultural Creatives, cited in: How 50 Million People Are Changing U.S. Business, Society, and Politics, US magazine Paraview, Alexander M. Dake, 2002

 

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2011 study: More single men than women want to have children.

  • The 2011 Match.com study of 5,200 singles in America found that more men than women are eager to have children in every cohort between ages 21 and 65+. In the age group 21-34, 51% of men were eager to have children, while 46% of women reported that they were eager to have children. When asked whether women should be the primary caregivers, 38% of men agreed, while 49% of women agreed. Men are also more willing to be the primary caretaker for their offspring. Helen Fisher, Ph.D. (*1945) Canadian-American research professor of biological anthropology, human behavior researcher, Center for Human Evolutionary Studies, Rutgers University, expert on romantic love, chief scientific advisor to Chemistry.com, 8 Surprising Truths About Men, presented by manofthehouse.com, 14. May 2011

 

  • If children are encouraged to gratify themselves, and are shielded from all pain and effort, we should not wonder that adolescents commit suicide or otherwise disintegrate. We may do more harm to the young with luxury than abusers do with brutality. Thaddeus Golas (1924-1997) US American author, Love and Pain, S. 147, Even Lazier Publishing, Ltd., 29. November 2010

 

  • Growing up is about aiming to succeed wildly and being fulfilled by failing really well. Video presentation by Courtney E. Martin (*1980) US American editor emeritus at Feministing.com, speaker, 3rd wave feminist writer, Reinventing feminism, presented by TEDWomen Talks, 11:27 minutes duration, filmed December 2010, posted March 2011

 

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Cultural shift in family building and relating patterns:
1. Companionship is primary.
2. Children are secondary.

  • The sexual and cultural revolutions of the 1960s have pushed the bearing and rearing of children from the core of marriage's social meaning. Ask twentysomethings and thirtysomethings what they hope for from marriage. They will, of course, tell you that they want love and that they definitely want companionship – indeed, that they expect their spouse to be their best friend. And obviously they want to share the pleasures of sex. Then ask them about children. Many will pause and say well, yes, certainly, they are thinking about children, and eventually, somewhere down the line, they expect to have one or two. But
    • children, once at the center of marriage, have now become negotiable, and
    • what used to be negotiable – love, companionship, sex – has moved to the center.
Peter Berkowitz, Ph.D. (*1959) US American political scientist, former law professor, The Hoover Institution, Stanford University, The Court, the Constitution, and the Culture of Freedom, presented by policy review, No. 132, 1. August 2005

 

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Paradoxical brace: freedom and responsibility

  • The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence. Denis Waitley (*1933) US American motivational speaker, consultant, best-selling author

 

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Learning about the importance of fatherhood "through its absence"

  • I came to understand that the hole a man leaves when he abandons his responsibility to his children is one that no government can fill. We need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one. Barack Obama (*1961) 44th US president, Father's Day Speech, 15. June 2009

 

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Source:

Building a Culture of Empathy and Compassion Obama Empathy Speech Index; Watch also: Barack Obama's Speech on Father's Day, YouTube film, 23:48 minutes duration, posted 15. June 2008

  • The second thing we need to do as fathers is pass along the value of empathy to our children. Not sympathy, but empathy – the ability to stand in somebody else's shoes; to look at the world through their eyes. Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in “us,” that we forget about our obligations to one another. There's a culture in our society that says remembering these obligations is somehow soft – that we can't show weakness, and so therefore we can't show kindness. [...] We need to show our kids that you're not strong by putting other people down – you're strong by lifting them up. That's our responsibility as fathers. Election campaign speech by Barack Obama (*1961) 44th US president, www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/06/15/obamas-fathers-day-speech_n_107220.html| Obama's Father's Day Speech Urges Black Fathers To Be More Engaged In Raising Their Children]], 15. June 2008, presented by Huffington Post, 23. June 2008

 

 

  • Know you what it is to be a child? [...] it is to believe in belief. Francis Thompson (1859-1907) British ascetic, poet

 

  • You have no birthday because you have always lived;
    you were never born, and never will die.
    You are not the child of the people you call mother and father,
    but their fellow-adventurer on a bright journey to understand the things that are.
    Richard Bach (*1936) US American Navy pilot, writer, There’s No Such Place As Far Away, Delta Trade Paperbacks, 12. January 1998

 

  • An honest man is always a child. [Semper bonus homo tiro est.] Marcus Valerius Martialis (*40 AD) Spanish satirist, Epigrams, XII. 51. 2., 80-104 AD

 

  • It is never too late to have a happy childhood. Tom Robbins (*1936) US American novelist

 

  • We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children. Native American saying

 

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Universality of incest

  • For a girl to be a virgin at ten years old, she must have neither brothers, nor cousins, nor fathers. Native American saying

 

  • Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time. Chinese proverb

Quotes by Maria Montessori

  • We cannot know the consequences of suppressing a child's spontaneity when he is just beginning to be active. We may even suffocate life itself. That humanity which is revealed in all its intellectual splendor during the sweet and tender age of childhood should be respected with a kind of religious veneration. It is like the sun which appears at dawn or a flower just beginning to bloom. Education cannot be effective unless it helps a child to open up himself to life. Maria Montessori (1870-1952) Italian physician, educator, philosopher of education, author on scientific pedagogy, The Secret of Childhood, 1936, Ballantine Books, 1st edition, 12. January 1982

 

  • One test of the correctness of educational procedure is the happiness of the child. Maria Montessori (1870-1952) Italian physician, educator, philosopher of education, author on scientific pedagogy, The Secret of Childhood, 1936, Ballantine Books, 1st edition, 12. January 1982

 

  • The greatest sign of success for a teacher [...] is to be able to say, The children are now working as if I did not exist. Maria Montessori (1870-1952) Italian physician, educator, philosopher of education, author on scientific pedagogy, The Secret of Childhood, 1936, Ballantine Books, 1st edition, 12. January 1982

 

  • To aid life, leaving it free, however, that is the basic task of the educator. Maria Montessori (1870-1952) Italian physician, educator, philosopher of education, author on scientific pedagogy, The Secret of Childhood, 1936, Ballantine Books, 1st edition, 12. January 1982

 

  • Discipline must come through liberty. […] We do not consider an individual disciplined only when he has been rendered as artificially silent as a mute and as immovable as a paralytic. He is an individual annihilated, not disciplined. Maria Montessori (1870-1952) Italian physician, educator, philosopher of education, author on scientific pedagogy, The Secret of Childhood, 1936, Ballantine Books, 1st edition, 12. January 1982

Quotes by Lloyd deMause

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The nightmare of childhood

 

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Cruelty applied to infants

 

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Growing up in a "culture of cruelty"

  • [T]he majority of children throughout history – particularly boys, who are physically and emotionally abused more than girls – feel so helpless and afraid that they grow up in what has been called a "culture of cruelty,"1 where they graduated from violent families to form gangs and try to dominate and hurt each other in order to be perpetrators rather than victims, thereby preparing themselves for cooperating in the violence of war. In one study, for instance, Lewis and Pincus2 report "a significantly greater proportion of very violent children demonstrated paranoid' symptomology [and] believed that someone was going to hurt them constantly feeling the need to carry weapons such as guns and metal pipes for their own protection.3 Lloyd deMause psychohistory.com (*1931) US American social scientist, lay psychoanalyst, director of The Association for Psychohistory, president of the International Psychohistorical Association, editor of The Journal of Psychohistory, The Emotional Life Of Nations, chapter 6 War as Righteous Rape and Purification, Other Press, 17. June 2002

Englische Texte – English section on Children and education

Personality types, parenting styles, historical-cultural-political manifestations – Lloyd deMause

Historical periodSpiral Dynamics Color / expressionTime frameChildrearing modePersonality typeParenting style
TribalRed
Magic period
~7000 BCEarly InfanticidalSchizoidInfanticide of most newborn, maternal incest, tight swaddling, abandonment, routine battering and rape
AntiquityRed
Mythic period
Before ADLate InfanticidalNarcissistic4Infanticide, child sacrifice, swaddling, impulsive beating, killing nurses, pederasty, rape, fosterage, genital mutilation, torture as hardening
Early ChristianBlue
Dictatorship
~400ADAbandoning5Masochistic6Tight swaddling, beating and torture for discipline, foundling, apprentice and monastery abandonment
Middle AgesBlue
Feudalism
~1250AmbivalentBorderlineInfanticide frowned upon, swaddling remains, beating for sins, rape illegal, education expanded
RenaissanceBlue
Early nation-states
~1680IntrusiveDepressiveNo infanticide, no swaddling, hitting to control child's emotions, girls educated, separate child beds
ModernOrange
Early nation-states
~1800SocializingNeuroticThreats and light spanking rather than beating to socialize child to parents' goals, mothers enjoy rather than fear children, fathers begin parenting
Post-modernGreen
Nationalism
Nation states
~1920HelpingIndividuatedParents help child reach own goals, explain rather than punish, unconditional love, trust and support, fathers share parenting

 

(↓)

Infanticide, mutilation and abandonment of children

[P]arents are the child's most lethal enemy, because inside the parents' psyches lie a powerful, dangerous alter that is their own parent's death wishes toward the child. Lloyd deMause psychohistory.com (*1931) US American social thinker, lay psychoanalyst, director of The Association for Psychohistory, president of the International Psychohistorical Association, editor of The Journal of Psychohistory, The Emotional Life Of Nations, chapter 8 The Evolution of Childrearing, Other Press, 17. June 2002

 

 


Evolution of six psychogenic modes in advanced nations by Lloyd deMause

 

Historical period Time•frameChildrearing modePersonality typeHistorical manifestations
Tribal~7000 BCEarly InfanticidalSchizoidChild sacrifice to the gods and early infanticide among tribal societies (Mesoamerica Inca, Assyrian and Canaanite religions, Phoenicians, Carthaginians, Spartans)
AntiquityBefore ADLate InfanticidalNarcissisticGreeks and Romans exposed some of their babies, i.e. "late" infanticidal childrearing.
Early Christian~400 ADAbandoningMasochisticInfanticide is replaced by abandonment. Surviving children don't internalize a murderous superego.
Longer swaddling, fosterage, outside wetnursing, oblation of children to monasteries and nunneries, and apprenticeship.
Middle Ages~1250AmbivalentBorderlineThe later Middle Ages ended abandonment of children to monasteries.
Early beating, shorter swaddling, mourning for deceased children, a precursor to empathy
Renaissance~1680IntrusiveDepressiveUnswaddling the infant, early toilet training, repression of child's sexuality, hell threats turned into the Puritan child (see early modern childrearing literature); Ending wet-nursing and swaddling triggered the explosive modern takeoff in scientific advance.
Modern~1800SocializingNeuroticUse of guilt, "mental discipline", humiliation, rise of compulsory schooling, delegation of parental unconscious wishes, diminishing parental injections, child rearing is less conquering and more training; The socializing psychoclass built the modern world.
Post-modern~1920HelpingIndividuatedChildren's rights movement7, deschooling, free schooling, natural childbirth, taking children seriously, abandonment of circumcision

 

Inspired by source:
► Free ebook and audiobook by Lloyd deMause psychohistory.com (*1931) US American social scientist, lay psychoanalyst, director of The Association for Psychohistory, president of the International Psychohistorical Association, editor of The Journal of Psychohistory, The Origins of War in Child Abuse, transcript chapter 3, 21. November 2010, The Psychology and Neurobiology of Violence, FDR 1133, YouTube film, 1:11:11 duration, posted 14. December 2012, MP3 podcast, presented by US American Freedomain Radio, narrated by Stefan Molyneux, posted 3. September 2008

 

Reference: ► Wikipedia.en entry: Psychogenic mode
See also:
► Spiral Dynamics maps – Ken Wilber
From conception to birthStanislav Grof
Three archetypal wounds in trust and love – Mario Martinez

On children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that his arrows may go swift and far
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness:
For even as He loves the arrow that flies so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Source: Khalil Gibran (1883-1931) Lebanese American painter, philosopher, poet,
The Prophet, 1980, Rupa (Educa Books), 14. April 2003

Simple rules of etiquette (for children at age 9) – David Lowry

25 good mannersDescription
1. MannerWhen asking for something, say "Please."
2. MannerWhen receiving something, say "Thank you."
3. MannerDo not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency.
They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.
4. MannerIf you do need to get somebody's attention right away,
the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.
5. MannerWhen you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first.
It can save you from many hours of grief later.
6. MannerThe world is not interested in what you dislike.
Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.
7. MannerDo not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course,
it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.
8. MannerWhen people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.
9. MannerWhen you have spent time at your friend's house,
remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.
10. MannerKnock on closed doors – and wait to see if there's a response – before entering.
11. MannerWhen you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and
then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.
12. MannerBe appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive.
In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.
13. MannerNever use foul language in front of adults.
Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.
14. MannerDon't call people mean names.
15. MannerDo not make fun of anyone for any reason.
Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.
16. MannerEven if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested.
The performers and presenters are doing their best.
17. MannerIf you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."
18. MannerCover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.
19. MannerAs you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.
20. MannerIf you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something,
ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so – you may learn something new.
21. MannerWhen an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.
22. MannerWhen someone helps you, say "thank you."
That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!
23. MannerUse eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so,
ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.
24. MannerKeep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.
25. MannerDon't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.
Source: ► David Lowry, Ph.D., 25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9, originally published in Parents magazine, March 2011
presented by yahoo.com, 3. May 2011

BW-Werte: Kinder

Index: Kinder – Eltern – Erziehung / Children – Parents – Education – Bücher von D. Hawkins

Index: Audio- und Videomedien (engl.) von und mit D. Hawkins


 

Links zum Thema Kinder, Elternschaft und Erziehung / Children, parenthood and education

Literatur

Literature (engl.)

Externe Weblinks

External web links (engl.)


Seven months before his death at age 87 Russian Jewish American psychiatrist and “scientific father of ADHD” Leon Eisenberg, M.D., D.Sc. (1922-2009) confessed in his last interview:

"ADHD is a prime example of a fictitious disease."

Audio- und Videolinks

Die beste Art des Lernens für Kinder anhand der Beziehungsforschung von Gordon Neufeld

Behütet-frei un"ver"schult begeistert lernend

"Lücken sind freier Raum für neues Wissen."
  • Video TV-Interview mit Prof. DDr. Gerald Hüther gerald-huether.de (*1951) deutscher Neurobiologe, Professor für neurobiologische Grundlagenforschung, Universität Göttingen, wissenschaftlicher und populärwissenschaftlicher Referent, Autor, ADHS ist keine Störung, präsentiert vom deutschen TV-Sender ZDF heute journal, Marietta Slomka, 29. Januar 2013, YouTube Film, 3:58 Minuten Dauer, eingestellt 30. Januar 2013

Siehe auch: Beichte auf dem Sterbebett: ADHS gibt es garnicht!, präsentiert von meinungsverbrechen.de, Winston Smith, 4. August 2012
Der amerikanische Psychiater Leon Eisenberg, M.D. (1922-2009) Erfinder des psychiatrischen Krankheitsbilds Aufmerksamkeitsdefizit-/Hyperaktivitätssyndrom (ADHS) gestand dem Medizinjournalisten Jörg Blech, daß ADHS eine fabrizierte Erkrankung ist (FAZ-Bericht).

Audio and video links (engl.)

  • Video appeal in support of funding for PBS and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting by Fred Rogers [Influence LoC 500] (1928-2003) US American educator, Presbyterian minister, songwriter, television host, famous for TV series Mister Rogers' Neighborhood (1968-2001), Mister Rogers defending PBS to the US Senate, before the United States Senate Subcommittee on Communications, 1969, YouTube film, 6:50 minutes duration, 29. June 2007
  • US American disclosure DVD documentary by Kevin P. Miller, US American award winning film producer and director, writer, Generation RX, issued 11. November 2008, YouTube film, 1:21:03 duration, posted 14. April 2013  

Collusion between Big Pharma drug companies and regulatory FDA watchdogs; millions of children forced onto pharmaceutical drugs for commercial rather than scientific reasons

Article on the conference by TVOParents.org

Raising extraordinary child: prodigy, disabled kid, criminal

  • Video presentation by Logan LaPlante, 13 year-old US American home schooler, Hackschooling Makes Me Happy, presented by TEDx Talks, University of Nevada, YouTube film, 11:14 minutes duration, 12. February 2013

Audio and video links (engl.) – Gabor Maté

Parental stress and its negative impact on children; autism and ADHD Minute 4:07 and Minute 6:38

"The stress quotient is increasing on parents." Minute 7:44

ADHD i.e. absent-mindedness as a coping mechanism, active recall and implicit memory, counter-will
Postpartum depression in 20% of all mothers is a risk factor for ADD in the child.

Early childhood experiences to the development of the brain
Minute 14:22: ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder:(General) Poor impulse control, 2. Physical hyperactivity 3. Poor attention skills

"The conditions in which children develop have been so corrupted and troubled over the last several decades that the template for normal childhood development is no longer present." Minute 18:04
Bessel van der Kolk, Ph.D., US American professor of psychiatry, Boston University: "The neglect or abuse of children is the number one public health concern in United States."

 

Interne Links

Wiki-Ebene

Englisch Wiki

 

 

1 Dan Kindlon, Michael Thompson, Raising Cain. Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, S. 72, Ballatine Books, New York, 1999

2 Lewis DO, Shanok SS, Pincus JH, et al. Violent juvenile delinquents: psychiatric, neurological, psychological, and abuse factors, Journal of American Academic Child Psychiatry, #18, pp. 307-319, PubMed, 1979

3 Richard Rhodes, Why They Kill. The Discoveries of a Maverick Criminologist, S. 206, Alfred A. Knopf, New York, 1999

4 Sam Vaknin samvak (*1961) Israeli journalist, editor-in-chief of the website Global Politician, publisher, author of DSM V Gets Narcissistic Personality Disorder Partly Right, YouTube film, 9:03 minutes duration, posted 13. October 2012
See also:  

5 Mario Martinez, PsyD, Three archetypal wounds in trust and love

6 Sam Vaknin samvak (*1961) Israeli journalist, editor-in-chief of the website Global Politician, publisher, author of Malignant Self-love. Narcissism Revisited, Narcissus Publications, Czech Republic, revised edition, July 2001, Masochistic Personality Disorder (Masochism), YouTube film, 3:27 minutes duration, posted 7. November 2012
The Masochistic personality disorder appeared last in the DSM III-TR and was removed from the DSM IV and from its text revision, the DSM IV-TR.

7 The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child has 54 articles, each outlines a different right (on survival, protection, development and participation). The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child has outlined a standard premise for the children's rights movement and has been accepted by all nations of the world but two states – the United States and Somalia.
Chapter IV Human Rights. 11. Convention on the Rights of the Child, New York, 20 November 1989, presented by United Nations Treaty Collection

8 Truth vs. Falsehood. How to Tell the Difference, S. 110, 2005

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21.10.2014 um 21:36 Uhr

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