SpiritualWiki

Wiki / Vertrauen

Wiki-Menu:  

2·2012


Hawkins-Menu:


 

VertrauenVertrautheit – Nähe

 

Frauen

 

Familiäre Liebkosung von
Mutter und Tochter
, 1789
Elisabeth Louise Vigée-Lebrun
(1755-1842) französische Malerin

Vertrauen ist eine Oase des Herzens, die von der Karawane des Denkens nie erreicht wird.
Khalil Gibran (1883-1931), Sämtliche Werke –
Band 2
, Patmos Verlag, 2003


 

Vertrauenshormon Oxytocin

Einhorn
Jungfrau und Einhorn, ~1602
Fresko im Palazzo Farnese, Rom,
Domenichino, italienischer Maler

Das Vertrauenshormon Oxytocin

  • ist ein Neurotransmitter und Hormon, das ausgesprochen zur Vertrauensbildung und zur Förderung von Großzügigkeit beiträgt. Es vertieft menschliche Be-
    ziehungen, indem es dazu anregt, Beziehungen mit an-
    deren einzugehen und zu pflegen.
  • stärkt die Verbundenheit unter Säugetieren und agiert in festen Partnerschaften als Neuromodulator.
  • Hingegen bremst Testosteron die Bindungsbereit-
    schaft, fördert Selbstsucht und reduziert die Bereitschaft zur Großzügigkeit.
  • Cortisol ist eines der stärksten Stresshormone im Körper.

 

  • Der Hypothalamus von Männern und Frauen weist einen deutlichen Sexualdimorphismus auf. Nur bei Männern liegt eine Koppelung von sexueller Erre-
    gung, Aggressivität und Dominanzverhalten vor.
    In Verbindung mit einem signifikant erhöhten Testosteron-
    spiegel und einem deutlich gesenkten Serotoninspiegel verüben prädisponierte Männer Gewalttaten. Serotonin, Oxytocin und das Neuropeptid Y tragen zur Beruhigung und zur Aggressionskontrolle bei.
"NUR bei Männern – ist der Hypothalamus das Agens von sexueller Erregung UND Gewalt."

 

Quelle ► Videointerview mit Prof. Gerhard Roth (*1942) deutscher Biologe, Verhaltensphysiologe, Hirnforscher,
Universität Bremen, Autor, The difference between men's and women's brains [Der Unterschied zwischen den
Gehirnen von Männern und Frauen], YouTube Film, Minute 1:11, 1:45 Minuten Dauer, eingestellt 17. Oktober 2007
Referenz: ► Wissenschaftlicher Artikel von Prof. Gerhard Roth (*1942) deutscher Biologe, Verhaltensphysiologe,
Hirnforscher, Universität Bremen, Autor, Freier Wille, Verantwortlichkeit und Schuld, PDF, präsentiert von
der Berlin-Brandenburgische Akademie der Wissenschaften (BBAW), 14. März 2007

 

Amerikanische Neurologen haben an knapp 50 Probanden herausgefunden entdeckt, wie und wo sich das Gefühl des Vertrauens im Gehirn bemerkbar macht. Es wird vor allem die Hirnregion namens Nucleus caudatus aktiviert. Dort werden die Reaktionen des Gegenübers bewertet, woraus entsprechend Vertrauen oder Misstrauen folgt.

 

Quelle: ► Sprachaktivierter Artikel Wo das Vertrauen wohnt. Forscher identifizieren Hirnregion, die Reaktionen anderer Menschen
erkennt und kategorisiert
, präsentiert von dem US-amerikanischen Wissenschaftsmagazin Science, neu aufgegelegt
von der deutschen Monatszeitschrift Bild der Wissenschaft, S. 78, Ausgabe 308, 1. April 2005

Vertrauen und Wirtschaft

Rechtschaffener Vertrauenszyklus – anwendbar für Einzelpersonen und das Kollektiv
Oxytocin ⇒ EmpathieMoral ⇒ Vertrauen ⇒ Wohlstand ⇒ Oxytocin

 

1996 führten der US-amerikanische Neurowirtschaftswissenschaftler Dr. Paul Zak, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), und seine Kollegen eine internationale Vertrauensstudie durch.
Die Studienteilnehmer hatten folgende zweiteilige Frage zu beantworten:

"Würden Sie generell sagen,
a) dass die meisten Menschen vertrauenswürdig sind?"

    oder
b) "dass man nie zu vorsichtig sein kann im Umgang mit anderen Menschen?"

 

Die statistische Auswertung der Antworten ergab hinsichtlich der wirtschaftlichen Entwicklung folgende Studienergebnisse:

  • Vertrauen
    • fördert den wirtschaftlichen und moralischen Fortschritt in der Gesellschaft.
    • ermöglicht Handelsbeziehungen mit geringeren Abwicklungskosten,
    • bewirkt weniger gescheiterte Verhandlungsgespräche, Schlichtungen und unnötige Gerichtsprozesse.
  • Je größer das Vertrauen unter den Bürgern ist, umso mehr verringern sich Diskriminierung und wirtschaftliche Ungleichheit.
  • Wenn sich das Vertrauen in die Mitbürger eines Landes um 15% verstärkt, erhöht sich dessen Wirtschafts-
    wachstum um jeweils $ 430.
    • Skandinavische und südostasiatische Staatsangehörige vertrauen ihren Landsleuten mehr als die Menschen in Südamerika und in Osteuropa.
    • In ärmeren Ländern,
      wie beispielsweise Indien, ist das Maß an Vertrauen größer als in reicheren Ländern, wie etwa in den Vereinigten Staaten von Amerika.
Wirtschaftswissenschafter haben festgestellt, dass fehlendes zwischenmenschliches Vertrauen
das stärkste Indiz für Armut in der Welt
ist. Dies ist eine entscheidende Erkenntnis.
Wir müssen nun mittels Studien erkunden, wie sich die Vertrauensbildung stärken lässt.

Dr. Paul Zak (*1962) US-amerikanischer Professor für Wirtschaft und Neurologie, Neurowirtschaftsexperte, Mathematiker,
Oxytocin-Forscher, Claremont Graduate Universität, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Südkalifornien, Autor

Resilienz – Zwei Drittel ⇔ Ein Drittel-Verhältnis

Der Psychoanalytiker, Kinderpsychologe und KZ-Überlebende Jude Bruno Bettelheim, der im Alter Selbstmord
begangen hat, bestätigte in einer psychologischen Analyse in seinem Buch Aufstand gegen die Masse. Die
Chance des Individuums in der modernen Gesellschaft
(Kindler, 1980) folgende soziologische
Drei-Drittel-Faustregel der Resilienz angesichts des Umgangs mit Lebenskrisen.
Reaktionsschema bei Extremsituationen
3-6-9er-DrittelungBiblischer HinweisVerhaltensqualitätBeschreibung
1. Drittel

333
Ohne Brot sind sie nicht imstande dazu!Sie können nicht. Das erste Drittel, bestehend aus den ins KZ verschickten Juden und Sinti, ist bereits während des Transports aus Angst vor der Ungewiss-
heit ihres Schicksals und der Aussicht auf das Lagerleben gestorben.
2. Drittel

666 [**]
Ohne Spiele sind sie nicht bereit dazu!Sie wollen nicht. Das zweite Drittel starb während der KZ-Inhaftierung, weil die Bedingungen dort unerträglich für sie waren.
3. Drittel

999
Mit nur wenig BROT und SPIELENhalten sie durch.
__________________
Wenn der Tipping Point 1000 erreicht ist, geschieht
der Systemwandel.
Das letzte Drittel entkam auf wundersame Weise beziehungsweise es überlebte die Torturen der persönlichen Entmachtung bis zur Befreiung durch alliierte Truppen. Die Befreiten oder Freigewordenen verdankten dies ihrer geistig-seelischen Stärke, ihrem unerschütterlichen Vertrauen
in ihr Schicksal und ihrer körperlichen Disziplin.
[*]
[*] Beachte: Das 2/3:1/3-Verhältnis tritt auch in der apokalyptischen Offenbarung (NT) zutage:
Ein Drittel der Menschheit wird während der Endzeit sterben1,
das letzte zäh-nachhaltige Drittel der Menschheit wird sich in den "Tagen der Trübsal" bewähren.
[**] Beachte: 666-Zahlenmagie – An sich neutrale Zahlen drücken Frequenzverhältnisse aus. 2/3 = 0,666 periodisch.
Das Zwei-Drittel-Verhältnis nimmt innerhalb des universellen Fraktals, das auf viele Dimensionen (wie Masse, Länge, Zeit) übertragbar ist,
eine Schlüsselposition ein. Das 666-Verhältnis öffnet das Tor in die sogenannten "grünen Bereiche" in der Natur. In diesen Zonen finden ge-
häuft natürliche Keimprozesse statt. Machtorientierte Geheimbünde verwenden die mächtige Schöpfungszahl 6 in Form der Zahlenreihe 666, um ihre Vorhaben scheller materiell zu manifestieren. Dabei missbrauchen sie die neutrale Sechserfolge zur Ausübung von Zwangsmacht.
"Nimm die Zahl 666, die in guten oder schlechten Verhältnissen entweder einen vollendeten Menschen oder einen vollendeten
Teufel bezeichnet.
Teile du die Liebe im Menschen gerade in 666 Teile; davon gib Gott 600, dem Nächsten 60 und dir selbst 6! Willst du aber ein vollendeter Teufel sein, dann gib Gott sechs, dem Nächsten sechzig und dir selbst sechshundert!"
Jakob Lorber [Schreibknecht Gottes nach innerem Wortdiktat] (1800-1864) österreichisch-steirischer Musiker, Vertreter eines liberalen Universalismus, christlicher Schriftsteller von Neuoffenbarungen, Großes Evangelium Johannes, 11 Bände, Band 2 "Jesu umfassende Wiederoffenbarung seiner Lehren und Taten", Kapitel 77 "Rechtes Maß an Liebe zu Gott, zum Nächsten um sich. Entsprechungen der Zahl 666", S. 247, Vers 2-3, Erstausgabe 1871, 1891-1893, Lorber-Verlag, Bietig-
heim-Bissingen, 7. Auflage 2000; Books on Demand (BoD), 6. März 2019
Siehe auch:
Soziologie und ► Lichtnahrung und ► Heilung und ► Gesetz 3:1
Krebsheilung – Zwei Drittel ⇔ Ein Drittel-Verhältnis
Verteilungsrate von Denken und Fühlen bei den Geschlechtern
Statistik zum Thema Tod in Deutschland – Zwei Drittel ⇔ Ein Drittel-Verhältnis
See also: ► Resilience ratio: Two thirds unconscious ⇔ one third awakening

 

Im Jahr 1970 wertete Aaron Antonovsky (1923-1994) eine Erhebung über die Anpassungsfähigkeit von Frauen verschiedener ethnischer Gruppen an die Menopause aus. Eine Gruppe von Probandinnen war 1939 zwischen
16 und 25 Jahre alt gewesen und hatte sich zu dieser Zeit in einem nationalsozialistischen Konzentrationslager befunden.
Ihr psychischer und körperlicher Gesundheitszustand wurde mit der einer Kontrollgruppe verglichen. Der Anteil
der in ihrer Gesundheit nicht beeinträchtigten Frauen betrug in der Kontrollgruppe 51%, im Vergleich zu 29%
der KZ-Überlebenden. Nicht der Unterschied an sich, sondern die Tatsache, dass in der Gruppe der KZ-Überle-
benden 29% der Frauen trotz der unvorstellbaren Qualen eines Lagerlebens mit anschließendem Flüchtlingsda-
sein als (körperlich und psychisch) 'gesund' beurteilt wurden, war für ihn ein unerwartetes Ergebnis.

Wikipedia-Eintrag zum Stichwort Salutogenese

 

In der aufwendigen Kauai-Längsschnittstudie analysierten die amerikanische Entwicklungspsychologin Emmy Werner (1929-2017) und ihre Kollegin Ruth Smith die Langzeitfolgen von prä- und perinatalen Risikobedingungen sowie die Auswirkungen ungünstiger Lebensumstände in der frühen Kindheit. Ihre Probanden, 698 polynesische Kinder, stammten aus einem kompletten Jahrgang. Sie wurden bei der Geburt und im Lebensalter von 1, 2, 10, 18,
32 und 40 im Hinblick auf ihre physische, kognitive und psychische Entwicklung untersucht. Überrascht stellten die Forscherinnen fest, dass sich ein Drittel der Kinder und Heranwachsenden aus der Risikogruppe ausnehmend posi-
tiv entwickelten.

Verlorenes Vertrauen durch aufrichtige Aussöhnung zurückgewinnen

Die fünf Stationen einer Entschuldigung (Aussöhnung)
༺༻HandlungsschrittBeschreibung
1.Übertretung anerkennenDer Angreifer versteht genau und bestätigt, inwiefern er/sie sich fehlverhalten hat.
2.Verantwortung übernehmenDer Angreifer übernimmt die persönliche Verantwortung für den (von ihm) angerichteten Schaden.
3.Reue zeigen2Die magischen Sätze "Es tut mir leid" und "Ich bitte um Entschuldigung." sind unumgänglich.
4.Wiedergutmachung leistenDer Angreifer gleicht den Schaden gegenüber dem Geschädigten aus. Wenn dies nicht möglich ist, bekundet er seine Absicht, nicht mehr zu beleidigen oder schädigen.
5.Besserung gelobenDer Angreifer bekundet seine Absicht, das ungebührliche oder unachtsame Verhalten
nicht zu wiederholen.
Quelle: ► John Kador, ungarisch-US-amerikanischer Autor, Effective Apology. Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust
[Die wirksame Entschuldigung. Zäune flicken, Brücken bauen, Vertrauen wieder gewinnen], Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 1. Mai 2009
Referenz: ►Artikel Aufrichtige Entschuldigung, präsentiert von der Plattform für Schreibende Publikum, Elfriede Ammann, 15. März 2021

 

Siehe auch: ► Ebene 30 – Schuldgefühl und ► Vergebungsmythen
See also: ► Extending genuine apologies to reestablish trust

 

Wer sich entschuldigt, anerkennt mit Bedauern ein Vergehen oder Versagen. Aufrichtige Entschuldigungen richten sich auf das eigene Handeln und nicht auf die Reaktion und die Gefühle des gedemütigten Menschen. Sich zu entschuldigen, ist
eine der verletzlichsten und mutigsten Handlungen, wobei man sich für die Beziehung entscheidet, statt auf seinem Recht
zu beharren. In der Entschuldigung liegt die Kraft,
Erniedrigungen zu heilen,
• das Bewusstsein von einer schweren Schuld zu befreien,
• den Wunsch nach Vergeltung außer Kraft zu setzen
• und zuguterletzt verkrachte Beziehungen wiederzubeleben.

 

Die bekannte US-amerikanische Professorin für Sozialarbeit, Scham-, Verletzlichkeits- und Empathieforscherin an der Universität Houston Dr. Brené Brown (*1965) äußerte folgenden Einsichten:

  • Sich zu entschuldigen, ist eine Funktion der Selbstachtung und des Selbstwertgefühls.
  • In manchen Fällen genügt eine Entschuldigung, um eine Grobheit zu bereinigen, doch in anders gelagerten Fällen
    ist eine Wiedergutmachung angesagt. Manchmal muss man den Bockmist wegschaufeln.
  • Einen Misthaufen aus der Welt zu schaffen, heißt mit Verletzlichkeit, Mut und Empathie ans Werk zu gehen.
  • Verletzlichkeit klingt wahrhaftig und fühlt sich mutig an.
  • Wahrheit und Mut sind nicht immer bequem, doch keinesfalls sind sie Schwäche.

 

Die klinische Psychologin und Beziehungsexpertin Dr. Harriet Lerner (*1944) hat das Buch Versuch's mal mit Entschul-
digung. Wie Versöhnung kleine und große Herzschmerzen heilt
, Knaur Balance, 1. Auflage 1. September 2017.
Hier sind ihre Erkenntnisse:

  • Entschuldigungen sind nichtig, wenn wir nicht zuerst den Zorn und den Schmerz der verletzten Partei vernommen haben.
  • Dem Betroffenen zuzuhören, ohne sich zu verteidigen, ist das Herzstück einer aufrichtigen Entschuldigung.
  • Wichtig ist einzusehen, dass sich gewisse Menschen niemals entschuldigen werden – egal wie genial, entgegenkommend und anmutig man ihnen entgegenkommt.
  • Um sich entschuldigen zu können, braucht es die stabile Grundlage eines gesunden Selbstwertgefühls, auf der man stehen kann. Einige Leute können sich nicht erlauben, den Schmerz, den sie verursacht haben, wirklich ins Auge zu fassen, weil ihnen das einen Stoß versetzte oder sie Gefahr liefen, dadurch in ein Selbstbild der Wertlosigkeit und Scham zu fallen. Der nicht verzeihende Mensch wandelt auf einem dünnen Seil der defensiven Haltung, das über
    eine riesige Schlucht aus mangelndem Selbstwertgefühl gespannt ist.

 

  • "Eine aufrichtige Entschuldigung erfordert, dass ein Mensch den Übergriff (Beleidigung, Angriff, Vergehen) angemessen anerkennt, ihn aus tiefem Herzen bereut, eine angemessene Wiedergutmachung anbietet und sich verpflichtet, künftig sein Verhalten zu ändern. Aaron Lazare (1936-2015) US-amerikanischer Professor für Psychiatrie, Verwaltungsdirektor und Dekan der University of Massachusetts Medical School, Worcester, Massachusetts (1991-2007), Autor,
    On Apology [Über das Entschuldigen], S. 9, Oxford University Press, New York, 1. Januar 2004

 

Ernsthafte nachhaltige Entschuldigungen …

⚑ sind aufrichtig und direkt (nennen die Dinge beim Namen).
⚑ verzichten auf das Wort "aber".
⚑ anerkennen die vorausgegangene Schädigung.
⚑ KÖNNEN Erklärungen beinhalten.
⚑ KÖNNEN Angebote unterbreiten.
⚑ bitten nicht um Vergebung.
⚑ verzichten auf (weiteres) verletzendes Verhalten.

 

Die fünf Stationen einer Entschuldigung

  1. Eingeständnis Der Täter oder die Täterin weiß genau, was er oder sie falsch gemacht hat.
  2. Verantwortung Der Täter übernimmt die persönliche Verantwortung für die zugefügte Verletzung.
  3. Reue Es geht nicht ohne die magischen Sätze "Es tut mir leid" oder "Ich entschuldige mich".
  4. Ausgleich Der Täter leistet dem Geschädigten Wiedergutmachung. Das untermauert den Vorsatz, nicht erneut zu beleidigen.
  5. Verpflichtung Der Täter versichert seinen Vorsatz, sich nicht mehr beleidigend oder fahrlässig zu verhalten.

 

Forscher an der Ohio State University befragten über 700 Studienteilnehmer. Aus der Studie geht hervor, dass die effektivste Entschuldigung insgesamt sechs Schritte umfasst. Die wichtigsten Elemente einer aufrichtigen Entschuldigung sind, einen Fehler einzugestehen, eine Lösung anzubieten und eine Erklärung abzugeben.
Die sechs Elemente einer effektiven Entschuldigung

  1. Sein Bedauern ausdrücken (Reue zeigen) "Es tut mir leid." "Ich entschuldige mich."
  2. Erklärung, was schief gelaufen ist "Deshalb habe ich es versäumt, ___."
    Wesentliches Element einer Entschuldigung
  3. Die Verantwortung übernehmen "Es ist meine Schuld." "Es war mein Fehlverhalten."
    Wesentliches Element einer Entschuldigung
  4. Tätige Reue und Umkehr "Es wird nicht noch einmal vorkommen."
  5. Wiedergutmachung "Ich mache es wieder gut. Ich übernehme die Kosten."
    Wesentliches Element einer Entschuldigung
  6. Bitte um Vergebung "Bitte vergib mir."
    Das am wenigsten wichtige Element einer Entschuldigung

 

"Erst wo der Wille zur Abkehr von der Sünde auch den Willen zur Besserung einschließt, liegt eine wirkliche Bekeh-
rung vor. Wo sich ein Mensch einem anderen gegenüber schuldig gemacht und Schaden angerichtet hat, kann dieser
nicht allein durch Reue aus der Welt geschafft werden. Vielmehr muss der Schaden nach Möglichkeit wieder gut ge-
macht werden. Soweit eine materielle Schädigung vorliegt, ist die Wiedergutmachung vor allem durch Schadenersatz
zu leisten.
Durch das Unrecht ist aber immer auch die Person des anderen betroffen, denn durch die Sünde ist die Liebe verletzt
worden. Diese kann nur wiederhergestellt werden durch Liebeswerke, durch Bitte um Vergebung und durch Bemühen
um Versöhnung. Andernfalls würde das Unrecht, selbst wenn es bereut wird, weiter bestehen und die Liebe erschwe-
ren oder unmöglich machen.
Die Vergebung kann allerdings nur dann ihren vollen Sinn erreichen und zur Versöhnung führen, wenn Reue und Bitte
um Vergebung vorausgehen (vg. Lk 17,4). Jemandem vergeben, der sein Unrecht nicht bereut, bewirkt nicht Versöh-
nung, sondern ist eher geeignet, den anderen in seinem Unrecht zu bestätigen und ihn zu neuem Unrecht zu veran-
lassen. Dennoch soll der, dem Unrecht geschehen ist, nicht abwarten, bis ihn der andere zur Vergebung bittet, sondern
er soll seinerseits zeigen, dass er zur Versöhnung bereit ist.
Vergebung und Versöhnung unter den Menschen sind für das menschliche Miteinander unabdingbar. Die Sünde ist
aber mehr als eine Verletzung zwischen menschlichen Beziehungen. Sie betrifft immer Gott selbst. Deshalb kann sie
auch nur getilgt werden durch die Vergebung Gottes und seine Versöhnung mit den Menschen. Menschen dürfen und
sollen einander sagen: "Ich verzeihe dir, ich vergebe dir deine Schuld!" Aber letztlich spricht das Wort der Verzeihung
und der Vergebung der Schuld nur Gott (vgl. Markus 2, 7). Gottes Vergebung bewirkt nicht, dass unsere Tat unge-
schehen gemacht, vergessen oder für halb so schlimm erklärt wird. Vielmehr tilgt Gott unsere Schuld, indem er sich
trotz unserer bösen Tat uns zuwendet, uns mit seiner vergebenden Liebe umwandelt und uns zu Menschen macht,
die mit ihm versöhnt sind." J. Prof. Dr. T. Specker, Prof. Dr. Christian W. Troll, Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Herausgeber, Katholischer Erwachsenenkatechismus. Band II. Leben aus dem Glauben, S. 89ff, Verlag Herder, Erstauflage 16. August 2006

 

Quelle und Referenzen, verfasst von Elfriede Ammann, präsentiert auf der kalifornischen Frage-und-Antwort Webseite Quora
► Beitrag Was ist der Unterschied zwischen verzeihen und vergeben?, 2.7k Aufrufe · 1 24. Dezember 2018
► Beitrag Welche Vergebungsmythen sind Dir bekannt?, 481 Aufrufe · 5 Likes, 13. Mai 2019
► Beitrag Was gehört zu einer aufrichtigen Entschuldigung, die einen Neuanfang ermöglicht?, 689 Aufrufe · 16 Likes, 19. Mai 2019

 

Siehe auch:
Vergebung und Vergebungsmythen und ► Verzeihensforschung und ► Zitate zum Thema Vergebung und Mitverantwortung
Vier Stufen der Vergebung und ► Vier Schritte zur Vergebung – Tipping-Methode

Zitate zum Thema Vertrauen / Trust

Zitate allgemein

Verlass dich nicht auf deinen Verstand, sondern setze dein Vertrauen ungeteilt auf den HERRN!
Sprüche 3, 5 (AT)

 

Deshalb sage ich euch: Wenn ihr Gott um irgendetwas bittet, müsst ihr nur darauf vertrauen, dass
er eure Bitte schon erfüllt hat, dann wird sie auch erfüllt.
Markus 11, 24 (NT)

 

Persönliche Bekenntnisse

 

Hesses Hausbesorgerin beobachtete: Wildvögel näherten sich Hermann Hesse.

  • Er sei sehr scheu gewesen, sagt sie, habe sich nur mit wenigen Menschen unterhalten. Einmal morgens habe sie sein Zimmer geputzt, und beim Blick aus dem Fenster habe sie beobachtet, wie ihm eine Dohle aus der Hand fraß. Frau Schneider sagt: »Ich fragte mich, ob es eine zahme Dohle war oder ob der Vogel gemerkt hat, dass vor ihm ein ganz besonderer Mensch stand.« Artikel Schlussakt mit Hesse, präsentiert von der überregionalen deutschen Wochenzeitung Die Zeit, Tomas Niederberghaus, Nr. 43, 16. Oktober 2008

 

  • Ich glaube an die Existenz von magischen Kräften. Jeder, der einen Menschen liebt, entwickelt magische Kräfte, aus Liebe. Das ist die weiße Magie. Und die schwarze Magie ist der Hass. Otfried Preußler (1923-2013) deutsch-böhmischer Lehrer, deutschsprachiger Kinderbuchautor, zitiert in: Hotzenplotz, Krabat und der Zauber der Versöhnung – Erinnerungen an Otfried Preußler, präsentiert von dem Südwestrundfunk (SWR2), Minute 2:51, 54:30 Minuten Dauer, Sendung vom 8. Oktober 2023, Artikel von Eberhard Reuß, 6. Oktober 2023

 

Geständnis

(↓)

Student Zuckerberg in einem IM Chat bezüglich der Harvard-Studenten, die Facebook ihre Telefonnummern und Email-Addressen anvertrauen

 

Empfehlungen

  • Vertraut nicht den Lehrern, sondern der Lehre;
    Vertraut nicht den Worten, sondern ihrem Sinn;
    Vertraut nicht dem relativen Sinn, sondern dem Absoluten;
    Vertraut nicht dem Intellekt, sondern der Weisheit.
    Gautama Buddha (563-483 v. Chr.) indischer Avatar, Lehrer der Erleuchtung, Zentralfigur des Buddhismus, zitiert in: Dalai Lama XIV. (Tenzin Gyatso) [Tanchu Dhondup] (*1935) tibetischer Mönch, geistliches Oberhaupt des tibetischen Buddhismus, Linienhalter der Gelug-Schule, Friedensnobelpreisträger, 1989, Der Friede beginnt in dir, S. 17, Herder Verlag, 1. Januar 2001

 

 

Vier_Hände
Four hands overlaying
  • Die Zeit bringt Rat.
    Erwartet's in Geduld.

    Man muss dem Augenblick auch was vertrauen.
    Friedrich Schiller (1759-1805) deutscher Philosoph, Historiker, Dichter, Schriftsteller, dramatisches Theaterstück Wilhelm Tell,
    Figur Reding in Kapitel 8, uraufgeführt in Weimar, 17. März 1804

 

 

  • Vertraue nur dir selbst, wenn andere an dir zweifeln, aber nimm' ihnen ihre Zweifel nicht übel. Rudyard Kipling (1865-
    1936) britischer Schriftsteller, Dichter, Literaturnobelpreisträger, 1907, zitiert in: Aphorismen.de

 

  • Auch der Träume Quelle ist versiegt. Doch vertrau! Am Ende deines Weges wird Heimat sein. Hermann Hesse (1877-1962) deutsch-schweizerischer Dichter, Schriftsteller, Nobelpreisträger für Literatur, 1946, zitiert in: Anselm Grün (*1945) deutscher Benediktinerpater, spiritueller Lehrer, geistlicher Berater, Autor, Das kleine Buch der Sehnsucht, S. 28, Herder, Freiburg
    im Breisgau, 2004

 

  • Vertrauen ist das Gefühl, einem Menschen sogar dann glauben zu können, wenn man weiß, dass man an seiner
    Stelle lügen würde. H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) US-amerikanischer Literatur- und Sozialkritiker, Satiriker, Kolumnist, Journalist, Schriftsteller, zitiert in: Zitate von H. L. Mencken, präsentiert von der Webseite 1000 Zitate

 

  • Du wirst vielleicht enttäuscht werden, wenn du zuviel vertraust, du wirst jedoch qualvoll leben, wenn du nicht genug vertraust. Frank Crane (1873-1948) US-amerikanischer Bühnen- und Filmschauspieler, Filmregisseur, zitiert in (engl.): Brainyquote

 

  • Handle, als ob alles von dir abhängt, vertraue, als ob alles von Gott abhängt. Ignatius von Loyola (1491-1556) spani-
    scher Ritter, Theologe, Einsiedler, kryptojüdischer Mitbegründer, erster Superior des Jesuitenordens, zitiert in: bistum-magdeburg.de

 

  • Wir brauchen täglich vier Umarmungen am Tag für unsere Grundversorgung,
    wir brauchen täglich acht Umarmungen für unsere Instandhaltung,
    und wir brauchen täglich zwölf Umarmungen für unsere Weiterentwicklung.
Virginia Satir [Mutter der Familientherapie] (1916-1988) US-amerikanische Sozialarbeiterin, psychotherapeutische Familienstellerin, Autorin, zitiert in: Artikel (engl.) Magic Touch: Six Things You Can Do to Connect in a Disconnected World, präsentiert von dem
US-amerikanischen Wirtschaftsmagazin Forbes, Carolyn Rosenblatt, 18. Januar 2011

 

Appelle

  • Es gehört zu dem, was wir in dieser Zeit lernen müssen: Aus reinem Vertrauen leben, ohne jede Daseinssicherung,
    aus dem Vertrauen in die immer gegenwärtige Hilfe der geistigen Welt. Wahrhaftig, anders geht
    es heute nicht, wenn der Mut nicht sinken soll. Zugeschrieben Rudolf Steiner (1861-1925) kroatisch-österreichischer Stifter
    der Anthroposophie, Mystiker, Kulturphilosoph, Architekt, Literaturkritiker, Sozialreformer, Ergebenheits-Gebet, adaptiert in: Das
    Wesen des Gebetes
    , GA 059, S. 114, Berlin, 17. Februar 1910

 

  • Wer auf seine eigene Kraft vertraut, ist mächtiger als das Schicksal. Lucius Annaeus Seneca (~1/4-65 n. Chr.) römischer stoischer Philosoph, Staatsmann, Naturforscher, Dramatiker, zitiert in (engl.): Brainyquote

 

Schlussfolgerungen

  • Man kann Menschen nicht vertrauen, man kann nur der Energie vertrauen.
    Rev. Rosalyn L. Bruyere (*1946) US-amerikanische Energieheilerin, Aurasichtige, spirituelle Lehrerin, weiße Medizinfrau, Crucible Seminar Zeremonien und Rituale im Alltag, Reichenschwand, Bayern, Deutschland, 27. März 2011

 

  • Selbstvertrauen ist das erste Geheimnis des Erfolgs. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) US-amerikanischer Philosoph, Unitarier, Redner, Dichter, Essayist, Society and Solitude, Kapitel 11 "Erfolg", 1870

 

  • Wenn Sie in die Zukunft blicken, können Sie nicht erkennen, wo Zusammenhänge bestehen. Das wird erst in der Rückschau möglich. Das heißt, Sie müssen darauf vertrauen, dass sich die einzelnen Mosaiksteinchen in Ihrer Zu-
    kunft zu einem Gesamtbild zusammenfügen. Sie müssen auf etwas vertrauen – Ihr Bauchgefühl, das Schicksal, das Leben, Karma, egal was. Denn der Glaube daran, dass sich irgendwann die einzelnen Mosaiksteinchen zusammen-
    fügen werden, gibt Ihnen die Zuversicht, dem Ruf Ihres Herzens zu folgen. Auch wenn der Sie abseits der ausgetre-
    tenen Wege führt – aber das macht den Unterschied. Steve Jobs (1955-2011) US-amerikanischer Computerindustrieller, Erfinder, Mitgründer und Geschäftsführer von Apple, Abschlussfeierrede vor Studienabsolventen der kalifornischen Stanford Universität, Palo Alto, 14. Juni 2005; exzerptiert aus dem Vortrag Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address, YouTube Film, 15:05 Minuten Dauer, eingestellt 7. März 2008

 

Einsichten

  • Wir sind keine Feinde, sondern Freunde. Wir dürfen keine Feinde sein. Leidenschaft mag die Bande unserer Zunei-
    gung anspannen, aber zerreißen darf sie sie nicht. Die mystischen Klänge der Erinnerung werden ertönen, wenn –
    und das ist sicher – die besseren Engel unserer Natur sie wieder berühren.
    Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) politisch ermordeter 16. US-amerikanischer Präsident (1861-1865), Reden, Amtsantrittsrede,
    4. März 1861; zitiert in: Aphorismen.de

 

  • Unsere Fähigkeit zur Vertrautheit beruht auf einem tiefen Respekt, einer Präsenz, die erlaubt, dass das, was wahr ist, sich zum Ausdruck bringen kann, dass es entdeckt werden kann. Buddhistische Weisheit

 

Lilie
Lilie Lilium phillipinense
  • Ein weiser Mann vertraut einem Menschen nicht nur aufgrund seiner Worte. Genausowenig verwirft er Worte nur aufgrund des Menschen, der sie gesprochen hat. Zugeschrieben Konfuzius (551-
    479 v. Chr.) chinesischer Weiser, Sozialphilosoph, Stifter der chinesi-
    schen Staatsreligion; zitiert in: Vertrauen Zitate Sprüche Weisheiten, präsentiert von Yogawiki, undatiert

 

  • Es ist wichtig zu unterscheiden zwischen echter Demut, die eine Form von Bescheidenheit ist, und mangelndem Vertrauen. Sie sind keineswegs identisch, obwohl viele sie verwechseln. Dies mag ansatzweise erklären, weshalb man heutzutage vor allem
    im Geschäfts- und Berufsleben Demut oft als Schwäche statt als Ausdruck innerer Stärke betrachtet. Dalai Lama XIV. (Tenzin Gyatso) [Tanchu Dhondup] (*1935) tibetischer Mönch, geistliches Oberhaupt des tibetischen Buddhismus, Linienhalter der Gelug-Schule, Friedensnobel-
    preisträger, 1989, Facebook Kommentar, 29. Oktober 2010

 

 

 

 

  • Menschen, die dem Leben vertrauen, sind wie Schwimmer, die sich einem fließenden Fluss anvertrauen. Sie verlieren sich nicht im Strom und widerstehen ihm auch nicht. Im Gegenteil, sie passen sich in jeder Bewegung dem Fluss des Wassers an, benutzen es mit Freude und Geschick – und genießen das Abenteuer. Bruder David Steindl-Rast (*1926) österreichstämmiger US-amerikanischer katholischer Benediktinermönch, Psychologe, Anthropologe, Vertreter des interreligiösen Dialogs zwischen Christentum und Buddhismus, Spiritualität und Wissenschaft, Quelle unbekannt

 

(↓)

Die Illusion des Geldes innerhalb eines auf Zins und Schuld basierenden Informationsgeld-Systems

  • Wenn man eine Vorstellung hat, es gäbe so etwas wie Wert hinter dem Geld, dann erliegt man, glaube ich, einer Illusion, die gerade in Krisen enttäuscht wird. Die Substanz des Geldes ist Vertrauen.
    1. Zins ist der erste Vertrauensmissbrauch.
    2. Derivate sind ein Vertrauensmissbrauch höherer Stufe.
    3. Diese ganze Lebensmittelspekulation, der moderne Finanzwucher, den wir zur Zeit erleben, ist dann ein Vertrauensmissbrauch dritter Stufe.
Fernsehinterview mit Prof. Dr. Karl-Heinz Brodbeck (*1948) deutscher Professor für Volkswirtschaftslehre und Statistik, Fach-
hochschule Würzburg-Schweinfurt, Hochschule für Politik, München, buddhistischer Philosoph, Kreativitätsforscher, Wirtschafts-
ethiker, Geld, Die große Illusion, präsentiert von dem deutschsprachigen öffentlich-rechtlichen Fernsehsender 3Sat, Sendung Scobel, Gastgeber Gert Scobel (*1959) deutscher Philosoph, Fernsehmoderator, Journalist, Autor, YouTube Film,
Minute 0:29, 5:50 Minuten Dauer, eingestellt 23. September 2011

 

  • Die zivilisierte Geburt, also die intellektuelle Einmischung in das, was allen Frauen spontan und natürlich käme, un-
    terminiert den Vorgang des Bonding schon seit Jahrhunderten. Nichts in unserer gesamten Geschichte kommt je-
    doch an die Katastrophe der medizinischen Kindergeburt des 20. Jahrhunderts heran, die unsere genetisch ein-
    programmierte Bindung Stück für Stück zerstört und einen so massiven Schaden angerichtet hat, dass er möglicher-
    weise nicht wiedergutzumachen ist. Der Intellekt der männlichen Ärzte hat sich in die weibliche Intelligenz einge-
    mischt und tatsächlich einen größeren Abschnitt ihres Lebens zerstört. Die medizinische Geburt ist eine der zer-
    störerischsten Kräfte, die je aus dem männlichen Kopf hervorging, und eine der zerstörerischsten Kräfte, die heute
    auf der Erde wirksam sind.
    In diesem langen Kampf des männlichen Intellekts gegen die Intelligenz des Herzens der Frau war der große
    Trumpf, die Frau da zu erwischen, wo und wann sie am allerverwundbarsten ist, um sie ihrer Macht zu berauben.
    Joseph Chilton Pearce (1926-2016) US-amerikanischer Autor zu Themen der Kindesentwicklung und Potenzialentfaltung, Der nächste Schritt der Menschheit, Arbor-Verlag, Taschenbuchauflage 1. Januar 1997

 

(↓)

Vertrauensbildende Soziale Netzwerke und Netzgemeinschaften

Social Media erhöhen die Produktion des Schmusehormons Oxytocin und mindern Stress.

(↓)

Siehe auch:

Article (engl.) Social Media Increases "Cuddle" Chemical Production in the Brain, presented by the digital media guide website Mashable, Jennifer Van Grove, 25. June 2010

  • Die virtuellen Medien können uns tugendhafter und zu besseren Menschen machen. Sie sind möglicherweise sehr wichtig, weil wir durch Netzgemeinschaften alle mit dem ganzen Globus verbunden sind.
    Gelöschte Videopräsentation (engl.) von Dr. Paul Zak (*1962) US-amerikanischer Professor für Wirtschaft und Neurologie, Neurowirtschaftsexperte, Mathema-
    tiker, Oxytocin-Forscher, Claremont Graduate Universität, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Südkalifornien, Autor, Social Network Your Way to Sexual Satisfaction, präsentiert von dem Center for Neuroeconomics Studies, Minute 1:21, 2:22 Minuten Dauer, eingestellt 10. Juli 2010

 

  • Das Urvertrauen des Menschen, dass er wichtig und wertvoll ist, ist vielen unbekannt. […] Das Urvertrauen des Menschen (...) wächst nicht zwischen Bomben und Hunger, noch zwischen angstvollen Karrieren oder in Hochhauseinsamkeit. Manche Menschen haben es viel besser; nicht viele, im Ver-
    gleich. Vielleicht können diese wenigen – wir? – etwas ändern, humaner werden und Humanität auch dort finden
    oder hineinbringen, wo Veränderungen gelebt und organisiert werden können.
    Ruth Cohn (1912-2010) deutsche humanistische und psychodynamische Psychotherapeutin, Begründerin der Themenzentrierten Interaktion (TZI), Dichterin, Autorin, Von der Psychoanalyse zur themenzentrierten Interaktion. Von der Behandlung einzelner zu einer Pädagogik für alle, S. 213, 1975, Klett-Cotta, 15. Auflage 23. September 2016

 

  • Der Schöpfer wirft uns in die Luft, um uns am Ende überraschender Weise wieder aufzufangen. Es ist wie in dem ausgelassenen Spiel, das Eltern mit ihren Kindern spielen. Und die Botschaft lautet: Hab Vertrauen in den, der dich wirft, denn er liebt dich und wird vollkommen unerwartet auch der Fänger sein.
    Und wenn ich es Revue passieren lasse, hat Gott mich auf dem Weg andauernd in die Luft geworfen und wieder aufgefangen. Wir sind uns jeden Tag begegnet. Hape Kerkeling (*1964) deutscher Entertainer, Komiker, Moderator, Schauspieler, Sänger, Synchronsprecher, Autor, Ich bin dann mal weg. Meine Reise auf dem Jakobsweg, Malik, 22. Mai 2006,
    28. Auflage 2008

 

  • Der Mensch kann nicht leben ohne ein dauerndes Vertrauen zu etwas Unzerstörbaren in sich, wobei sowohl das Unzerstörbare als auch das Vertrauen dauernd verborgen bleiben können. Eine der Ausdrucksmöglichkeiten dieses Verborgenseins ist der Glaube an einen persönlichen Gott. Franz Kafka (1883-1924) kulturell einflussreicher österreichisch-ungarischer deutschsprachiger Romanschriftsteller, Roberto Calasso, Herausgeber, Die Zürauer Aphorismen, geschrieben Septem-
    ber 1917-April 1918, veröffentlicht 1931, "Betrachtungen über Sünde, Leid, Hoffnung und den wahren Weg", Suhrkamp, Frankfurt am Main, 1970, 2006

 

  • Alles Reden ist sinnlos, wenn das Vertrauen fehlt. Franz Kafka (1883-1924) kulturell einflussreicher österreichisch-ungari-
    scher deutschsprachiger Romanschriftsteller, zitiert in: Gute Zitate

 

  • Der Mensch kann nicht leben ohne ein dauerndes Vertrauen zu etwas Unzerstörbarem in sich, wobei sowohl das Unzerstörbare als auch das Vertrauen ihm dauernd verborgen bleiben können. Eine der Ausdrucksmöglichkeiten dieses Verborgenbleibens ist der Glaube an einen persönlichen Gott. Franz Kafka (1883-1924) kulturell einflussreicher österreichisch-ungarischer deutschsprachiger Romanschriftsteller, Max Brod, Herausgeber, Hans Joachim Schoeps, Herausgeber, Betrachtungen über Sünde, Leid, Hoffnung und den wahren Weg, "Beim Bau der Chinesischen Mauer", S. 234, Zitat 50, Verlag Gustav Kiepenheuer, Berlin 1931

 

  • Die Gefühle, die ein sinnerfülltes Leben fördern, drehen sich um das Interesse am Wohlergehen der Mitmenschen. Mitgefühl verändert das Gemüt [Denk- und Fühlvermögen] in einer Weise, dass die Wahrscheinlichkeit zunimmt,
    dass man Freude daran hat, die Lebenssituation von anderen zu verbessern. Erstaunen und Ehrfurcht [vor dem Le-
    ben] verändern die Inhalte des eigenen Selbstbilds und der Selbstorientierung. Sie mindern die Gewichtung der per-
    sönlichen Wünsche und Vorlieben und verstärken das, was uns mit anderen verbindet. Neurochemikalien wie Oxyto-
    cin und Areale des Nervensystems, die mit diesen Gefühlen verbunden sind, erhöhen das Vertrauen und verstär-
    ken die Langzeitbindung
    . Wir Menschen sind dazu angelegt, uns um um mehr Dinge zu kümmern als uns der blo-
    ßen Bedürfnis- und Wunschbefriedigung und Maximierung unserer eigenen Interessen zu widmen.
    Dr. Dacher Keltner (*1962) US-amerikanischer Professor für Sozialpsychologie, Universität von Kalifornien, Berkeley, Altruismus-
    forscher, Leiter des Greater Good Science Centers, Autor, Born to Be Good. The Science of a Meaningful Life, W.W. Norton & Company, 12. Januar 2009

 

 

Bewusstseinswerte gemessen von Dr. David R. Hawkins (1927-2012) US-amerikanischer Arzt, Psychiater, kultführender spiritueller Lehrer, Skala des Bewusstseins

 

Krokusse
 Violette Krokusse
  • Wenn man einem Menschen trauen kann, erübrigt sich ein Vertrag.
    Wenn man ihm nicht trauen kann, ist ein Vertrag nutzlos.
    Jean Paul Getty (1892-1976) (1892-1976) US-amerikanischer Öl-Milliadär, Industrieller, Kunstmäzen, zitiert in: Getty, Jean Paul, präsentiert von der Webseite Zitate

 

  • Wir haben so wenig Vertrauen in die Gezeiten des Lebens, der Liebe, der Beziehungen. Begeistert bejubeln wir die Flutzeiten und weichen entsetzt vor der Ebbe zurück mit der Befürchtung, dass die Flut nie wiederkehren wird. Wir drängen auf Beständigkeit und Dauer, wo doch die einzig mögliche Kontinuität im Leben wie in der Liebe Wachsen, Fließen, Freiheit ist. Die einzig wirkliche Sicherheit liegt nicht im Besitz, nicht im Fordern oder Erwarten, nicht einmal im Hoffen. Die Sicherheit in einer Beziehung liegt nicht im Blick zurück
    auf das, was sein könnte, sondern im Leben, in der Gegenwart und im Akzeptieren dessen, was ist.
    Anne Morrow Lindbergh (1906-2001) US-amerikanische Pionierpilotin, Autorin, Ehefrau des Piloten Charles Lindbergh, Muscheln in meiner Hand. Eine Antwort auf die Konflikte unseres Daseins, Piper, München, 22. Taschenbuchauflage November 1994

 

  • 8. Heilung bedeutet zu lernen, dem Leben zu vertrauen. Dr. Jeanne Achterberg (1942-2012) US-amerikanische Professorin für Psychologie, Saybrook Institute, San Francisco, ehemals Präsidentin der Association of Transpersonal Psychology, Autorin, Woman as Healer [Die Frau als Heilerin], Shambhala, S. 194, 1990, Nachdruck 13. März 1991

 

  • Vertrauensverlust ist bedeutsam, denn Misstrauen führt dazu, dass sich Menschen von ihren sozialen Gruppen ab-
    wenden, ihr Engagement am Arbeitsplatz verringern und wichtige Informationen nicht mehr miteinander teilen. Kurz-
    um, ohne Vertrauen konzentrieren sich die Menschen auf den Selbstschutz und sind nicht mehr bereit, sich angreif-
    bar zu machen. [...] Menschen, denen es an Vertrauen fehlt, sind eingeschränkt in dem, was sie gemeinsam errei-
    chen können. Prof. William von Hippel (*1963) US-amerikanisch-australischer Sozial- und Evolutionspsychologe, Universität
    Queensland, Brisbane, Autor, The Social Leap. The New Evolutionary Science of Who We Are, Where We Come From, and What Makes Us Happy, Harper Wave, 13. November 2018

 

  • Vertrauen ist die größte Selbstaufopferung. Christian Friedrich Hebbel (1813-1863) deutscher Dramatiker, Lyriker, Tage-
    bücher
    , 1855

 

 

  • Vertrauensselig – ein schönes Wort, Vertrauen macht selig den, der es hat, und den, der es einflößt.
    Marie Freifrau von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830-1916) österreichische Aphoristikerin, Erzählerin, Novelistin, Schriftstellerin, Fünf-
    hundert Aphorismen
    , 1911, Verlag Der Wissenschaften, 18. August 2017; zitiert in: Aphorismen.de

 

  • Menschen denken, Intimität habe etwas mit Sex zu tun. Dabei geht es um Wahrheit, wenn man von Intimität spricht. Wenn du erkennst, dass du jemandem die Wahrheit sagen kannst, dich ihm zeigen kannst und nackt vor ihm stehst, und er antwortet, "Bei mir bist du sicher!" Das ist Intimität. Taylor Jenkins Reid, US-amerikanische Romanschriftstellerin, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Washington Square Press, 13. Juni 2017, Neuauflage 29. Mai 2018

 

  • Freundlichkeit in Worten schafft Vertrauen. Freundlichkeit im Denken schafft Tiefe. Freundlichkeit im Geben schafft Liebe. Zitat von Unbekannt, bekannt geworden im Amerika in den 1960er Jahren, fälschlicherweise Laotse (604-531 v. Chr.) chinesischer Weiser, Philosoph, Begründer des Taoismus zugeschoben

 

 

  • Vertraue auf Allah, doch zuvor binde deinem Kamel die Knie. Arabisches Sprichwort, Vorsichts-Gebot

 

 

Referenz: de.Wikiquote-Eintrag Vertrauen

Filmzitate

  • »Vertrau mir!« [Trust in me.] Beschwörungslied der Figur Schlange Kaa an die Figur Findelkind Mogli in dem US-amerikanischen Disney Film Dschungelbuch, 1967

 

  • "Wir wollen alle besser werden." Figur Schlange Kaa zu Figur Mogli in dem US-amerikanischen Disney Film Dschungelbuch, 1967

 

Ein großer Strom hat auf seiner langen Reise durch die Welt gelernt, sich immer wieder durchzusetzen. Eines Tages erreicht er die Wüste und versucht, den Sand zu durchqueren. Doch so sehr er sich bemüht, er kommt nicht voran und wird zusehends aufgeschluckt. Das verdrießt den Strom, der doch bisher jedes Hindernis übertaucht hat. Er ärgert sich und grollt: "Noch nie habe ich aufgegeben; soll ich ausgerechnet vor dem Sand kapitulieren?"
Wie er so nachdenkt, flüstert ihm eine Stimme zu: "Du musst dem Wind erlauben, dich über die Wüste zu tragen! Dazu musst du dich vom Wind aufsaugen lassen!"
Lange sträubt sich der Strom dagegen. Er ist zu stolz und zu skeptisch. Noch nie hat er fremde Hilfe in Anspruch genommen. Sich vom Wind aufsaugen lassen … bedeutet das nicht so viel wie sich verlieren? Doch zuletzt treibt der Mut der Verzweiflung den Strom an, sich selbst zu riskieren.
Er lässt sich aufsaugen und als Wasserdunst in den offenen Armen des Windes über die Wüste tragen. Auf den Spitzen des fernen Gebirges fällt er als weicher Regen nieder und findet sich als Quelle wieder. Er erinnert sich, daß sein Leben buch-
stäblich in den Sand geschrieben ist. Der Strom hat sich riskiert und beginnt ein neues Leben.

Quelle: ► Idries Shah (1924-1996) persischer Lehrer der Sufitradition, spiritueller Autor, zitiert in: Elisabeth Lukas, Verlust und Gewinn – Logotherapie bei Beziehungskrisen und Abschiedsschmerz, Profil-Verlag, Edition Logotherapie, Band 5, München und Wien, 2002

Als ich mich selbst zu lieben begann, habe ich verstanden, dass ich immer und bei jeder Gelegenheit, zur richtigen Zeit am richtigen Ort bin und dass alles, was geschieht, richtig ist – von da an konnte ich ruhig sein.
Heute weiß ich: Das nennt man VERTRAUEN.

Quelle: ► Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977) englischstämmiger Schauspieler, Filmregisseur,
Rede zu seinem 70. Geburtstag, 16. April 1959, Über SELBSTLIEBE,
YouTube Film, 4:00 Minuten Dauer, 11. November 2010

General quotes

I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress; my God; in him will I trust.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you shall trust;
For thou, O LORD, art my trust; thou hast established thy habitation in the highest.
Psalm 91, 2 (OT)

 

He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth
shall be thy shield and buckler.
Psalm 91, 4 (OT) King James Bible

 

Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation. Psalm 146, 3 (OT)

 

Ask God for good things and trust that they will be given. Matthew 7, 7-11, Luke 11, 9-13 (NT)

 

Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to
his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father
is with me.
John 16, 32 (NT) translation by George Lamsa, 1957

 

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13, 7 (NT)

 

Personal avowals

(↓)

Famous acknowledgement of betrayal

  • Et tu, Brute?
    And you, Brutus? – Also you, Brutus? – You as well, Brutus? – Even you, Brutus? Gaius Julius Caesar (100-44 BC) Roman general and statesman, dictator and/or consul (49-44 BC), writer of Latin prose, Latin phrase, supposedly his last words at the moment of his assassination, Ides of March, 44 BC

 

(↓)

The phrase "Trust me" is not trustworthy.

  • "Trust me, give me direct eye contact." I never trust anyone who asks me to trust them. […] The way how we treat one another is the therapy.
    Alan Watts (1915-1973) British philosopher, speaker, writer, cited in: Unsourced video documentary Did You Used to be R.D. Laing?, YouTube film, minute 23:49, 1:31:56 duration, posted 10. June 2020

 

(↓)

Female intuition trumping men's reason

 

  • I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He wouldn't trust me so much.
    Falsely attributed to Mother Teresa of Calcutta (1910-1997) Albanian-born Indian Catholic nun, saint, missionary, humanitarian, founder of the Order of the Missionaries of Charity, Nobel Prize for Peace laureate, 1979, cited in: Goodreads Quotable Quote

 

  • The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.
    Henry L. Stimson (1867-1950) US American statesman, lawyer, Republican Party politician, spokesman on foreign policy,
    Secretary of War (1911-1913) and (1940-1945), memorandum to US president Truman, 11. September 1945, cited in: Godfrey Hodgson, The Colonel: The Life and Wars of Henry Stimson, 1867-1950, S. 246, Plunkett Lake Press, February 2020

 

  • I'd much rather hear you say, "I've come awake," than hear you say, "I'm sorry."
    I'd much rather hear you say to me, "I've come awake since we last met; what I did to you won't happen again,"
    than to hear you say, "I'm so sorry for what I did to you."
    Anthony de Mello SJ (1931-1987) Indian Catholic Jesuit priest, psychotherapist, spiritual leader, author, Awareness. Conver-
    sations with the Masters
    , S. 97, Doubleday, New York, Image, reprint paperback edition 1. June 1990, May 1992

 

Recommendations

 

  • Trust one who has gone through it. Virgil (70-19 BC) classical Roman poet, The Aeneid, 29-19 BC

 

  • The Prophet said in a loud voice: Tie the camel's knot and trust in God.
    Alternative version: Trusting in God, bind the camel's knee.
    Jalal ad-Din Muḥammad Rumi (1207-1273) Persian Muslim Sufi mystic, jurist, theologian, poet, R.A. Nicholson, translator, The Masnavi. Book One, 913, 947, 1898, Gibb Memorial Series, London, 1926, Oxford University Press, 1st edition 10. July 2008

 

(↓)

Trust the energy, not people's mask.

  • You can't trust people, you can only trust the energy.
    Rev. Rosalyn L. Bruyere (*1946) US American spiritual teacher, white honorary medicine woman, energy healer, aura reader, Crucible Intensive Seminar Ceremony and Ritual in Daily Life, Reichenschwand, Germany, 27. March 2011

 

  • Trust men and they will be true to you;
    treat them greatly, and they will show themselves great.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) US American philosopher, Unitarian, lecturer, poet, essayist, Essays. First Series,
    "Prudence", 1841, Charles E. Merrill Company, New York, 1907

 

 

  • As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. Johann Wolfgang Goethe (1749-1832) German polymath, poet, playwright, dramatist, novelist, character Mephistopheles in the drama Faust. A Tragedy, verse 2026 [1808], Thomas Boosey and Sons, London, 1821, Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1976

 

(↓)

Trust movements, not words.

  • Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement. Alfred Adler (1870-1937) Austrian medical doctor, psychotherapist, founder of the school of individual psychology, author, cited in: overview Alfred Adler, presented by the publication Awaken, July 2013

 

(↓)

Intimacy ⇔ transcendence

 

  • Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. David Elton Trueblood (1900-1994) noted US American Quaker theologian, chaplain Harvard University, Stanford University, author, cited in: AZ Quotes

 

Funke
Striking a match
  • Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
    Khalil Gibran (1883-1931) Lebanese US American painter, philosopher, poet, writer, 26 prose poetry essays The Prophet, "On Death", Alfred A. Knopf, 1923, 1980, Laurier Books, 14. April 2003

 

 

  • Trust but verify.
    Rhyming Russian proverb, aphoristic advice, internationally known in English when used by Ronald Reagan (1911-2004)
    40th Republican US president (1981-1989), frontman of neoconservative corporate trickle-down economics, expressed on
    several occasions in the context of nuclear disarmament discussions with the Soviet Union

 

 

  • Mistrust the man who finds everything good, the man who finds everything evil and still more the man who is
    indifferent to everything. Johann Kaspar Lavater (1741-1801) Swiss poet, physiognomist, cited in: AZ Quotes

 

  • Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. Golda Meir (1898-1978) Israeli founder, first
    female prime minister of Israel (1969-1974), cited in: Jewish quotes, presented by the website Greater Altoona Jewish Federation

 

Appeals

  • God has entrusted me with myself. No man is free who is not master of himself. A man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things. The world turns aside to let any man pass who
    knows where he is going. Epictetus (60-100 AD) Greek stoic philosopher, cited in: Goodreads Quotable Quote

 

 

 

Conclusions

 

  • We need four hugs a day for survival.
    We need eight hugs a day for maintenance.
    We need twelve hugs a day for growth.
Virginia Satir [Mother of Family Therapy] (1916-1988) US American social worker, family constellations therapist, author, cited in: article Magic Touch: Six Things You Can Do to Connect in a Disconnected World, presented by the US American business
magazine Forbes, Carolyn Rosenblatt, 18. January 2011

 

Insights

(↓)

Necessity of trusting the indestructible within oneself

  • Man cannot live without a permanent trust in something indestructible in himself, though both the indestructible element and the trust may remain permanently hidden from him. One of the ways in which this hiddenness can express itself is through faith in a personal god. Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Austrian-Hungarian culturally influential German-language novelist, The Zürau Aphorisms, written September 1917-April 1918, published 1931
(↓)

Discipleship is not accidentally. It is karmicly earned.

 

  • Genuine friendship emerges on the basis of trust. [...] In order to develop trust you must first extend (open) your heart. Be open, transferring, honest, truthful, treat others and animals kindly and warm-heartedly, then trust will come.
    H.H. 14th Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso (*1935) Tibetan monk, leader of the Gelug or "Yellow Hat" branch of Tibetan Buddhism, Nobel Peace Prize laureate, 1989, The Quest for Happiness in Challenging Times, deleted RealPlayer video, sponsored by the University
    of Miami, Florida, minute 20:00, 98:48 minutes duration, aired 26. October 2010

 

(↓)

Falling prey to the false belief: Reason trumps the soul

  • Intuition, the mystical sense, started to frighten people. […] Women don't trust their own mystical sense. They deny their own. [They]'ve bought into the system that reason governs the soul. Video DVD presentation by Caroline Myss Myss.com (*1952) US American spiritual teacher, mystic, medical intuitive, bestseller author, The Sacred Spaces in Morocco, minute ~36:43,
    61:41 minutes duration, Morocco, recorded 15.-26. October 2011

 

Kitzeln
Tickle
  • A definite conception of God (such as that of the Divine Mo-
    ther) is necessary, otherwise one does not receive a clear response. And the demand for the Lord's reply should be strong; a half-believing prayer is not sufficient. If you make up your mind: "He is going to talk with me"; if you refuse to believe differently, regardless of how many years He has not answered you; if you go on trusting Him, one day He will respond. Paramahansa Yogananda (1893-1952) Bengalian Indian Hindu sage, yogi, philosopher, author, How You Can Talk with God, Self-Realization Fellowship, 5. August 1957

 

 

  • Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
    God Himself is not secure, having given man dominion over His works! Avoiding danger is no safer in the long
    run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. Faith alone defends. Life is either a
    daring adventure or nothing.
    To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence
    of fate is strength undefeatable. Helen Keller (1880-1968) US American deafblind author, Let Us Have Faith, chapter "Faith Fears Not", 1940, S. 50-51, Doubleday & Company, Garden City, New York, reprint 1946

 

  • The basis of human trust is established through play signals. And we begin to lose those signals, culturally
    and otherwise, as adults. That's a shame. I think we've got a lot of learning to do. […]
    The thing that's so unique about our species is that we're really designed to play through our whole lifetime. […]
    When we're getting into collective play, its really important for groups to gain a sense of safety through their own sharing of play signals. […]
    A play ballet […] overrides a carnivorous nature. […] An altered [playful] state allows to explore the possible. […]
    A differential in power can be overridden by a process of nature [play signals] that's within all of us.
    Video presentation by Stuart Brown, M.D., US American physician, psychiatrist, clinical play researcher, founder of the National Institute for Play, Play is more than just fun, presented by TED Talks, English transcript, filmed at Serious Play, May 2008, YouTube film, minutes 2:36, 13:07, 13:41, 14:08, 26:42 minutes duration, filmed May 2008, posted by Serious Play 2008

 

  • The presence of basic trust indicates that you have the innate sense that life is fundamentally benevolent,
    and that that benevolence exists independent of you and your actions.
    You will have this sense to the extent
    that your grounding in the universe has not been disturbed.
    The relative presence or absence of basic trust is a belly quality, something one's whole being is grounded in or
    not. The disturbance of basic trust is a significant factor in ego development because the perspective of ego is diametrically opposed to the sense of basic trust.
    A.H. Almaas, Ph.D. (*1944) Kuwaitian physicist, spiritual teacher, founder of the therapeutic Diamond Approach, author,
    Facets of Unity. The Enneagram of Holy Ideas, S. 25, Shambhala, Boulder, Colorado, 5. September 2000

 

  • Loss of trust matters because distrust leads people to disengage from their communities, reduce commitment to
    their workplace and lose the degree to which they share important information with each other. In short, without trust,
    people focus on self-protection and become unwilling to make themselves vulnerable. (...) People who lack trust are
    limited in what they can accomplish together. William von Hippel, Ph.D. (*1963) US American Australian evolutionary psy-
    chologist, University of Queensland, Brisbane, author, The Social Leap. The New Evolutionary Science of Who We Are, Where We
    Come From, and What Makes Us Happy
    , Harper Wave, 13. November 2018

 

  • Self-trust is the first secret of success. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) US American philosopher, Unitarian, lecturer,
    poet, essayist, Society and Solitude, chapter 11 "Success", 1870

 

 

 

  • Human misery must somewhere have a stop; there is no wind that always blows a storm; great good fortune comes
    to failure in the end. All is change; all yields its place and goes; to persevere, trusting in what hopes he has,
    is courage in a man.
    The coward despairs.
    Euripides (480/485/484-406 BC) Greek philosopher, writer, cited in: Goodreads Quotable Quote

 

 

(↓)

Transitioning from force to trust

 

(↓)

Embracing intimates is beneficial, hugs from strangers cause stress.

  • When we receive unwanted hugs from strangers or even people we know, oxytocin is not released. [Hugging strangers] can lead to pure stress because our normal distance-keeping behavior is disregarded. In these situations, we secrete the stress hormone cortisol.
    Everyone is familiar with such feelings from our everyday lives, for example, if someone we don't know comes too
    close to us for no apparent reason. This violation of our normal distance-keeping behavior is then generally per-
    ceived as disconcerting or even as threatening.
The positive effect [of hugging] only occurs
  • if the people trust each other,
  • if the associated feelings are present mutually and
  • if the corresponding signals are sent out.
If people do not know each other, or if the hug is not desired by both parties, its effects are lost.
Hugging is good, but no matter how long or how often someone hugs, it is trust that’s more important.
Jürgen Sandkühler, M.D., Ph.D. (*1957) German professor of physiology, director of the Center for Brain Research, Medical
University of Vienna, since 2007, cited in: Hugging is good for you, but only with someone you know very well, provided by the Medical University of Vienna, presented by the academic journal Philosophy, Psychiatry, & Psychology, republished by the Medical Express, 18. January 2013

 

  • One cannot be a good student of the Science of Mind who is filled with fear and confusion. He must keep himself in
    a state of equilibrium, in a state of poise, peace, and confidence [...] in a state of spiritual understanding. By spiritual
    understanding, it is not meant anything strange or unnatural, but merely that the belief in goodness must be
    greater than any apparent manifestation of its opposite. It is this science of faith we are seeking to uncover – a de-
    finite technique that will conduct our minds through a process of thought, if necessary, to that place which the sub-
    lime minds of all ages have reached by direct intuition.
    Ernest Holmes (1887-1960) US American spiritual teacher, founder Religious Science, a part of the greater New Thought movement, writer, The Science of Mind. A Philosophy, A Faith, A Way of Life, S. 160, Tarcher Putnam, 1926

 

  • Faith requires trust in inner guidance and powers not seen.
    Faith trusts the necessity for purification, even when it is painful.
Gloria Karpinski, US American spiritual teacher, holistic counselor, author, Barefoot on Holy Ground. Twelve Lessons in Spiritual Craftsmanship, S. 248-249, Wellspring/Ballantine, 1st edition 1. Mai 2001

 

(↓)

Trust influences economy

Countries where the level of trust in society is very low have a lot of difficulty thriving economically – so you need a certain level of trust to get moving.

  • Corruption is a measure of trust in society, and trust, it turns out, should be essential to well-being. […]
    But even when you look at the Western world where GDP is more or less constant, you find large effects of trust, and that's why Northern Europe always emerges at the best place to be in the world in terms of well-being research.
    Daniel Kahnemann, Ph.D. (*1934) Israeli-American professor of psychology, Princeton University, New Jersey, founder of behavioral economics, Nobel laureate in economic sciences, 2002, cited in: Questioning a Chastened Priesthood, presented by International Money Fund, Jeremy Clift, Finance & Development, volume 46, number 3, September 2009

 

(↓)

Predictors of wellbeing:

Level of corruption – degree of trust

  • The age-old myth that money buys happiness needs to be refined, as does the competing myth that wealth does not matter. What [was] found in comparative studies of nations is that both the level of corruption and the degree of trust in society are important predictors of well-being.
    Daniel Kahnemann, Ph.D. (*1934) Israeli-American professor of psychology, Princeton University, New Jersey, founder of behavioral economics, Nobel laureate in economic sciences, 2002, cited in: Questioning a Chastened Priesthood, presented by International Money Fund, Jeremy Clift, Finance & Development, volume 46, number 3, September 2009

 

  • 87% of couples have no intimacy during sex.
    70% of normal couples have sexual desire problems.
    40% of couples rarely kiss during sex.
David Schnarch, Ph.D. (*1946) US American clinical psychologist, marital and sex therapist, author, Intimacy & Desire. Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship, Beaufort Books, 15. October 2009

 

(↓)

Intimacy – "into me you see"

  • Men have been programmed by society not to be |intimate.
    What do men want from women? – Sex.
    What do women want from men? – Security and Money.
    What kind of relationship does that make? – Prostitution.
    We [men] lie a lot. [...] We are gonna fake it. [...] Truthfully what we [men] want is the same that you [women] want. Men are women turned inside out. We are. Audio interview with Stan Dale (1929-2007) US American sex, love and inti-
    macy expert, transactional analyst, founder of the Human Awareness Institute, 1968, workshop leader, recipient of the Mahatma
    Gandhi peace medallion, radio broadcaster, teacher, author, Intimacy, May 1993

 

 

(↓)

Humanness is twofold:

Individuation and participation in wholeness

  • Intimacy is a quality we bring with us – not something that we have to look for outside of ourselves. But the "truth of who we are" is both an individuated self and a participating aspect of Sacred Wholeness. In fact, if we are not aware of where the individuated self ends and the other begins we begin to mistake enmeshment and co-dependency for intimacy. To really receive the other there must be some degree of awareness of both the inter-beingness and the "I am" that can receive. Oriah Mountain Dreamer (*1954) Canadian public speaker, poet, author, Facebook comment, 4. March 2011

 

(↓)

Male initiation

  • The only external power that you can trust is in men who have also found their real inner power. Power it seems is the key fascination in the male soul and in every male archetype. It does not go away by churchy preaching or cultural poverty. It just takes disguised and different forms and finally comes back to defeat most worthwhile projects or worse, keeps them from ever getting started. If the male does not experience his power and his possibilities, if he does not let others educate it and tame it, power needs/ego needs tend to control his whole agenda. It does not go away. Primal cultures understood this to an amazing degree, and they took steps to insure that it would not keep happening and subverting their community. Father Richard Rohr O.F.M. (*1943) US American Franciscan friar, cited in:
    deleted article Made not Born: Men and Power]], presented by the former publication malespirituality.org, July 2003

 

(↓)

Critisizing is a call for more intimacy.

  • The best intent of a criticizer is to make the relationship better – to increase intimacy. But almost everyone who hears any request for any change in attitude or behavior wants to "kill" the criticizer. Which doesn't increase intimacy. Warren Farrell Farrell.com (*1943) US American political scientist, author, spokesman of men's liberation, men's rights activist, former director of the National Organisation for Women, speaker, author, 15 Intriguing Thoughts About Men, Women and Relationships, presented at Midland Park High School’s 50th Reunion, 10. September 2011

 

(↓)

Practicing black friendship and love

  • The Achilles' Heel of humans is our inability to handle personal criticism – especially when given by a loved one – especially when given badly. (Of course, all criticism feels like it is given badly.) The discipline of love starts with the discipline of knowing how to emotionally associate being criticized with being loved; that's the best way to make our partner feel
    safe sharing her or his feelings. The discipline continues with the art and discipline of appreciating each other.
    Warren Farrell Farrell.com (*1943) US American political scientist, author, spokesman of men's liberation, men's rights activist, former director of the National Organisation for Women, speaker, author, 15 Intriguing Thoughts About Men, Women and Relationships, presented at Midland Park High School’s 50th Reunion, 10. September 2011

 

(↓)

The experience/performance curve is turning to lots of trustbased relationships.

  • The winners in this new world are those who build very large numbers of rich flows of tacit knowledge riding on the rails of trust based relationships.
    In this new world it's about relationships not transactions. It's about the notion of these relationships being long-term sustained relationships where the kind of communication that occurs in that relationship is not around data sets and graphs of charts of data. It's around stories, […] images, visual kinds of communication.
    If you're in the masculine archetype of projecting a strong [lonesome rider] image at all times you will not be successful in building trust. You have to be willing to express vulnerability. I think it raises a very different kind of archetype that's going to be required for success in this new world.
    The future belongs to the feminine archetype not the masculine archetype. And those of us who adopt the feminine archetype, male or female, are going to be the ones to create wealth and enjoy the enormous success ahead. Video presentation by John Hagel III, US American consultant, co-chairman of the Deloitte Center for the Edge, speaker and author on
    the intersection of business strategy and information technology, The Big Shift: Challenge and Opportunity for Women, presented
    by TEDx BayArea Talks, YouTube film, 12:59 minutes duration, minutes 8:25, 9:20, 10:43 and 12:23, posted 9. December 2010

 

(↓)

From knowledge stocks to knowledge flows: Paradox of trust-based truth finding

  • In a world that is more rapidly changing and where uncertainty displaces certainty wherever we look, knowledge stocks have less value. […] Trust built on know-
    ledge stocks becomes less compelling. Worse than that, what used to build trust, now erodes it.
    Tacit knowledge is remarkably sticky [...]. It does not flow readily. In fact, one of the most powerful ways to access
    tacit knowledge is in the context of trust-based relationships. If we really trust someone else, we are much more
    likely to take the risks involved in sharing tacit knowledge. So, trust builds advantage by providing privileged access
    to tacit knowledge. But first we have to be willing to share vulnerability. [...] Shared practice builds trust – you can
    quickly see each other's strengths and vulnerabilities in action.
    Success in the future will involve scaling back the masculine archetype and giving the feminine archetype more prominence. The masculine archetype is all about projecting strength and not sharing weakness. Machismo is the epitome of the masculine archetype. In contrast, the feminine archetype expresses vulnerability much more readily. […] The future belongs to the feminine archetype as we move from a world of knowledge stocks to knowledge flows.
    Blog article by John Hagel III, US American consultant, co-chairman of the Deloitte Center for the Edge, speaker and author
    on the intersection of business strategy and information technology, Resolving the Trust Paradox, presented by the publication
    "Edge Perspectives", 27. June 2011

 

Strahlen
Sun rays breaking through the dusk
  • [G]overnance can only be based on clarity of shared in-
    tent and trust in expected behavior, heavily seasoned with
    common sense and tolerance […] [R]ules and regulations,
    laws and contracts, can never replace clarity of shared
    purpose and clear, deeply held principles about conduct
    in pursuit of it. Principles are never capable of ulti-
    mate achievement, for they resume constant evolu-
    tionary change.

    Do unto others as you would have others do unto you is a true principle, for it says nothing about how it must be done. Dee Ward Hock (1929-2022) US American founder and
    CEO Emeritus of the VISA credit card association, founder of the
    non-profit organization The Chaordic Commons, Birth of the Chaordic Age, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 1999

 

  • Love and intimacy are the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well. I am not aware of any other factor in medicine – not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not drugs – that has a greater impact on our quality of life, incidence of illness and premature death of all causes. […] [T]he most powerful factors in health and illness – even though these ideas are largely ignored by the medical profession.  S. 20 […] [L]ack of human contact can lead to profound isolation and illness – and even death. S. 139 Dean Ornish, M.D. (*1953) US American clinical professor of medicine, UCSF, founder of the nonprofit "Preventive Medicine Research Institute", author, Love and Survival. The Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy, S. 20, S. 139, Harper, 1997, William Morrow Paperbacks, 1st edition 17. February 1999
    • In Love and Survival, Dean Ornish makes the point that love and intimacy are more powerful determinants
      of health than improved diet, stopping smoking, genetic make-up, more exercise, or prescription drugs.
      Blog article Biology's Mandate to Separate, presented by the removed website reuniting.info, Marnia Robinson, US American former corporate lawyer, researcher and author on ancient sacred-sex prescriptions, 28. July 2005

 

  • Statistics show that intimate relationships with trusted companions both increase longevity and protect health, which suggests that overcoming our biological imperative may indeed be wise. Blog article Open Letter to Gnostic Scholars, presented by the removed website reuniting.info, Marnia Robinson, US American former corporate lawyer, researcher and author on ancient sacred-sex prescriptions, ~2006

 

(↓)

Results of 2010 study of intimacy

  • In a 2010 study of intimacy, done with a sample of 4,876 individuals, 95% of both men and women regarded it as particularly intimate when they talked about the relationship; and 95% of both sexes also regarded it as particularly intimate when they went on an adventure together. Moreover, both sexes are turning away from the standard reasons for marriage (such as financial stability, children, religious similarity and to fulfill kinship and community responsibilities) and, in-
    stead, are looking for close companionship based on a highly personal connection.
    In a 2011 study of 5,200 individuals, the top traits both sexes sought in a mate were someone whom they could trust and confide in and someone who respected them. For men as well as women, self-fulfillment is triumphing over societal and family requirements. Helen Fisher, Ph.D. (*1945) Canadian-American research professor of biological anthro-
    pology, human behavior researcher, Center for Human Evolutionary Studies, Rutgers University, expert on romantic love, chief scientific adviser to Chemistry.com, 8 Surprising Truths About Men, presented by the website Actualise Daily, 16. February 2012

 

 

  • People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is 'you're safe with me'
    – that's intimacy. Taylor Jenkins Reid, US American novelist, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Washington Square Press,
    13. June 2017, reprint edition 29. May 2018; cited in: Goodreads Quotable Quote

 

(↓)

Michelangelo effect

 

  • For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom
    profit us but they make us feel safe. [...] Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.
    H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) US American critic of American life and culture, satirist, journalist, magazine editor, essayist,
    author, cited in: Words of Wisdom. H. L. Mencken, S. 15, Students' Academy, Lulu Press, 4. December 2014

 

  • The boss in the herd can be referred to as the alpha horse. [...] The alpha horses are generally off by themselves because the other horses don't want to be around them. [...] The leader is generally an older mare – in a wild herd. Stallions come and go, but mares stay for life. It's not necessarily going be the bossy mare. It's going to be the one
    with all life experience. It's the leader that can be trusted. Whether it's with people or with horses
    ➣ the way to develop trust is through consistency.
    ➣ If you're consistent then you're dependable.
    ➣ If you're dependable you become trustworthy.
    ➣ If you're trustworthy the horse will be at peace with you.
    ➣ And if the horse is at peace with you then they can become soft.
Softness comes from the inside of the horse or the person. Lightness is just on the outside. You can achieve
lightness through training. [...] With lightness the things that are trained into the horse are available when things
are going relatively well. With softness everything is available all the time.
Mark Rashid, US American horse trainer, clinician, cited in: Video documentary The Path of the Horse, presented by the
removed platform OurHorses.org, YouTube film, minute 3:09, 1:01:08 duration, posted 15. October 2012

 

  • Horses are far more perceptive than most people realize. They have an innate sense of understanding people's characters and personalities and an ability to sense the unspoken. They know your intentions and agenda some-
    times even before you do. You can lie to a therapist. You can lie to a friend. You can lie to yourself. But you can't
    lie to a horse. Anna Twinney, US American horse whisperer, cited in: article Reach Out to Wisdom, presented by the website
    Reach Out To Horses, 2012-2016

 

(↓)

Love, trust and empathy ⇔ fear and doubt

  • Love can only grow in an environment of trust. With trust we lose fear and stop falling in love and we start growing in love.
    If there is even the smallest doubt in any relationship love will never grow to its fullest potential. Love dies through lack of trust, because only in trust can you have the freedom to just let go, and fall into the state of abandon in which love exists. […] Until we trust and love ourselves completely we will not have the means to love and trust another completely. […] By stepping through our fear we learn to love that which we are with-
    out fear. […] Fear is our biggest enemy. […] Fear can only be conquered by learning how to control the brain. The
    fearless are mindful. They will trust until proven wrong. The fearless spread their calm. […] Without fear there is no need for violence, without fear there is no jealousy, without fear there is no loneliness.
    Removed radio show "Thinking Matters" by host Annette Jahnel (*1962) South African photographer, artist, world traveller, public speaker, author, Love 1, presented by the South African Whale Coast Radio 96 fm, minute 24:26, minute 27:19, 34:40 minutes du-
    ration, aired 18. April 2016, posted 20. April 2016

 

 

  • The best proof of love is trust.
    Joyce Brothers, Ph.D. (1928-2013) US-American psychologist, television personality, columnist, author, cited in: Jack Canfield, Chicken Soup for the Gardener's Soul. 101 Stories to Sow Seeds of Love, Hope and Laughter, S. 25, 2001

 

 

  • It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English moralist, lexicographer, biographer, literary critic, poet, essayist, editor, author, cited in: Catherine Neal Parke, Samuel Johnson and Biographical Thinking, S. 68, University of Missouri Press, London, 1991

 

  • Keep in mind that you can't apologize your way out of being an ass. Even the best apology won't rescue you
    if you haven't earned people's trust. Everything you do before things go wrong matters far more than the actual
    words you use to apologize. If you've built rapport with customers, they'll cut you some slack and trust you when
    you say you're sorry. Blog article How to say you're sorry, presented by the stories outlet Medium, Jason Fried, 8. June 2016

 

(↓)

Wounds are marks on the way to deeper confidence.

  • A wound is just a highway to a new and enlightened kind of confidence. Damage is one of the things in emotional aesthetics that makes something great. Like all he scars on a tree or a banged up coffee cup or whatever. Everything you go through is marking your soul. And if you have the courage to face yourself, the whole package, you will receive an extraordi-
    nary amount of power you may have never realized was there.
    Kathryn Dawn Lang [k.d. lang] (*1961) Canadian pop and country singer-songwriter, actress, cited in: k.d. lang Quotes

 

  • Trust is essential in any relationship, be it with a loved one or a friend. It is the very glue that holds that bond together. But it is a fragile thing. It takes only suspicion, not proof to take it all away. Anonymous

(↓)

Mark Zuckerberg's mocking of trusting him:

Dorm-room IM chitchat, referring to Harvard students who trusted Facebook to keep their phone numbers and email addresses confidential.

 

Reference: en.Wikiquote entry Trust

Literary quotes

  • But thus I counsel you, my friends: Mistrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful. They are people of a low sort and stock; the hangmen and the bloodhound look out of their faces. Mistrust all who talk much of their justice! Verily, their souls lack more than honey. And when they call themselves the good and the just, do not forget that they would be pharisees, if only they had – power.
    Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900) German classical scholar, critic of culture, philologist, philosopher of nihilism, writer, Thus Spoke Zarathustra [Also sprach Zarathustra], Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1891, S. 100, Viking Press, 1954

 

  • People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900) German classical scholar, critic of culture, philologist, philosopher of nihilism, writer, Beyond Good and Evil. Prelude to a Philosophy of the Future [Jenseits von Gut und Böse. Vorspiel einer Philosophie der Zukunft], C. G. Naumann, Leipzig, 1886

 

Distorted Tumblr generated version: "I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you."

 

Movie and television series quotes

  • Trust in me. Line of "The Outsong", sung by the snake Kaa to Mowgli, characters in the Disney movie The Jungle Book, 1967

 

Bushism (Humor)

  • Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness. George W. Bush (*1943) 43rd US American president (2000-2009), convicted war criminal, November 2011, chat presented by CNN, date unknown

Poems

  • I whispered an offer softly in the ear of your playful heart.
    I closed my mouth and spoke to you in a hundred silent ways,
    you know what's on my mind, you've heard my thoughts.
    Jalal ad-Din Muḥammad Rumi (1207-1273) Persian Muslim Sufi mystic, jurist, theologian, poet, Badiozzaman Forouzanfar, editor,
    collection of lyric poems Diwan-e Shams-e Tabrizi, verse #1303, Amir Kabir, Tehran, Iran, 1988

Quotes by David DeSteno

The Psychology of Trust in Work and Love. The science of why tit-for-tat isn’t the best strategy for cooperation and why you should hear out your hunches., presented by the free weekly digest Brain Pickings, host Maria Popova (*1984) Bulgarian critic, blogger, writer,
3. February 2014; reviewing: David DeSteno, Ph.D., US American professor of psychology, Northeastern University, author, The Truth About Trust. How It Determines Success in Life, Love, Learning, and More, Hudson Street Press, 30. January 2014


 

  • Trust implies a seeming unknowable – a bet of sorts, if you will. At its base is a delicate problem centered on the balance between two dynamic and often opposing desires – a desire for someone else to meet your needs and
    his desire to meet his own.

 

  • Unlike many forms of communication, issues of trust are often characterized by a competition or battle […]. It's not always an adaptive strategy to be an open book to others, or even to ourselves. Consequently, trying to discern if someone can be trusted is fundamentally different from trying to assess characteristics like mathematical ability. […] Deciding to be trustworthy depends on the momentary balance between competing mental forces pushing us in opposite directions, and being able to predict which of those forces is going to prevail in any one instance is a complicated business. […]
    Contrary to long-held doctrine, isolated gestures and expressions aren't reliable indicators of what a person feels or intends to do. Two types of context – what I call configural and situational – are essential for correct interpretation.
    And they've been missing in most attempts to discover what trustworthiness and its opposite look like.

 

  • [T]rust isn't only a concern that emerges at big moments in our lives. It's not relevant just to signing a contract, making
    a large purchase, and exchanging wedding vows. […] Whether we realize it or not, issues of trust permeate our days
    from the time we’re born to the time we die, and it's often what's below the surface of consciousness that can have the greatest influence on a life well lived. Our minds didn’t develop in a social vacuum. Humans evolved living in social groups, and that means the minds of our ancestors were sculpted by the challenges posed by living with others on whom they depended. Chief among those challenges was the need to solve dilemmas of trust correctly. And it's pre-
    cisely because of this fact that the human mind constantly tries to ascertain the trustworthiness of others while also
    weighing the need to be trustworthy itself. Your conscious experience may not correspond with this fact, but again
    that's because much of the relevant computations are automatic and take place outside of awareness.

 

Vertrauen
  • At the most basic level, the need to trust implies one fundamental fact: you're vulnerable. The ability to satisfy your needs or obtain the outcomes you desire is not entirely under your control. […]
    The social lives of humans are characterized by a never-ending struggle between different types of desires – de-
    sires favoring selfish versus selfless goals, desires focu-
    sed on immediate gratification versus long-term benefit,
    desires stemming from the conscious versus unconscious
    minds. Only an overriding threat or an amazing confluen-
    ce of random factors – what we’d otherwise call pure luck
    – can result in an exact mirroring of two people's needs and goals at all levels.
    Trust, then, is simply a bet, and like all bets, it con-
    tains an element of risk.

 

  • At heart, all romantic relationships are about give and take.
    This description of romantic bliss might sound a bit cold and businesslike, but at the most fundamental level that's how romantic relationships operate. This dynamic doesn't preclude the fact that relationships can feel magical at times; our hearts can still flutter from the benefits we receive. Still, whether we enjoy and therefore decide to remain in a relation-
    ship depends on just how much we’re willing to do to continue to experience that warm glow. No one can afford to give continuously without receiving, and as a consequence, managing relationships comes down to a balancing act between protecting oneself from exploitation and gaining benefits that can only come from fostering long-term, intimate social bonds.

 

  • What ultimately matters for trust to emerge is that individuals are meeting the expectations their partners set, thereby freeing their partners from having to consistently check.

 

  • Jeffry Simpson's view for how trust works centers on its ability to grease the wheels of romantic relationships – to keep them going strong by biasing not only one’s own behaviors but also one’s interpretations of a partner’s actions. Trust, in essence, functions as a kind of relationship buffer – it smooths rough spots. You can think of it as a kind of love drug. Like many pharmaceutical substances you might take to cope with a stressful event, trust can alter your behavior both by lowering hostility in the moment and by positively biasing your recollections of the past such that potentially problematic events don’t seem to be so troubling after all.
    [Simpson's studies] reveal a consistent pattern: individuals who entered discussions with higher levels of trust for their partners demonstrated much greater accommodation and collaboration. Not only were they more willing to listen to their partner’s desires and take them seriously, they also were more motivated to try to find a solution that would be acceptable to both parties. It’s not that trusting individuals were discussing goals that were any less stressful in scope than the ones discussed by their less trusting counterparts; both groups face off over similarly consequential possibilities. The decreased tension and resulting greater success in negotiation derived solely from the subtle effects of trust itself.
    At each juncture in the conversation – at each point when a snap decision has to be made about whether to escalate conflict to protect one's interests – trust intuitively tips the scale back toward de-escalation and compromise. Simply put, trust alters the mental calculus running in the background of our minds. It makes us consider what we have to lose in the long run if we harm this relationship in pursuit of a short-term victory.

 

  • Neither deliberate nor intuitive mental calculations always provide the best answers when it comes to trust. Both aim to solve the problem, but neither is perfect. To make the best choice, you need to understand how both systems work together.
    Intuitive trust, or impulsive trust, as it’s sometimes termed, refers to evaluations of a partner's trustworthiness that occur outside of conscious awareness. […] Reasoned, or reflective, trust is just the opposite. It's an assess-
    ment based on deliberate analysis. It’s the kind of trust we often call into question when we’re engaging in what-ifs.
    How the mind deals with these questions and concerns – whether they even arise in the first place – holds important consequences for the success of relationships.

 

  • [I]ntuitive processes likely provide more accurate information than reflective ones. Although neither type of me-
    chanism is perfect, a combination of the two often provides the best results; two heads – or minds, in this case – are always better than one. Yet in absence of having access to both, reliance on intuition for assessing trustworthiness is often a better choice.

 

  • Trust begets trust more often than not. Although common sense may seem to suggest that illusions are always
    to be avoided in favor of hard objectivity, sometimes a softer-focus lens, one capable of smoothing the rough edges,
    is to be preferred. If you've developed a strong sense of trust in a partner, it will function in just that way. When there's
    ambiguity about how trustworthy he or she is, that sense of preexisting trust will burnish your view; it’ll blur the lines
    in an effort to push you toward continuing to trust. And, in reality, that's not a bad thing. […] Many instances of per-
    ceived untrustworthiness are errors or aberrations. Consequently, forgiveness is a great strategy.

 

  • Intuitions, or hunches, are usually less variable than conscious evaluations. As a result, they [tend to] provide more accurate assessments of another's trustworthiness. There are two reasons for this superiority. The first is that
    1. the nonconscious mind is more attuned to reading the true indicators of trustworthiness than is the conscious one.
    2. The second is that the nonconscious mind is also less amenable to our own influence. We've all had the experience of trying to talk ourselves into or out of something, meaning that we've all had the experiencing of trying to override our intuitions.
Listen to your hunches; hear them out. While intuitions may not always be right, they are more often than
not – a fact alone that warrants their consideration.

 

  • Higher social class often equals lower trustworthiness. That seems to suggest that untrustworthiness is a birthright of the upper class. […]
    What drives trustworthiness is a sense that you need others, a sense that you're not invulnerable or able to achieve your desired ends all on your own.
    [T]rustworthiness is dynamic – it comes from calculations that are constantly being updated. Like the rest of human morality, it's not fixed. […] Taken to its logical end, this view suggests that the lower-class is more trustworthy because
    it has to be, but if I were to pluck someone out of a position of deprivation and suddenly place him or her on a higher rung of the status ladder, a decrease in trustworthiness will, as emerging research shows, quickly follow.
    Article by David DeSteno, Ph.D., US American professor of psychology, Northeastern University, author, Money Can't Buy Trust-
    worthiness. It may have to do less with the class you're born into and more with how your income compares to those around you
    , presented by the US American magazine The Atlantic, 25. April 2014

Quotes by David R. Hawkins

⚠ Caveat See Power vs. Truth, January 2013

Personal avowals

  • Through prayer and meditation one is willing to take a risk. One develops faith. Faith and trust become stronger and stronger. Faith and trust become strong enough so that eventually you’re willing to walk off the cliff. I have walked off the cliff a number of times in my lifetime. I've walked off the cliff where all certainty was left behind. And if there was something in the Universe, It would pick you up and carry you through. And if there wasn’t, then that was the end. And, I've had to do it several times and so I've developed the capacity to do it. I've developed sufficient faith and trust that what I really know to be true, I now trust, despite the evidence in my senses and I will walk off a cliff if need be.
    Dr. David R. Hawkins, Office Series – Farmingdale, New York, Seminar Giving Up Illness through A Course in Miracles, sponsored
    by "The Bridgebuilders", host Saul Steinberg, first publisher of ACIM, host Dan McGrew, CD 2 or 3 of 3, 11. June 1983

 

 

⚠ Caveat See Power vs. Truth, January 2013

 

 

(↓)

Contrasting pairs of emotions, feeling states, and attitudes on the issue of trust In alphabetical order

Positive (strong) response (above 200) Negative (weak) response (below 200)

  1. AppreciativeEnvious
  2. ConfidentArrogant
  3. EmpatheticPitying
  4. GentleRough
  5. TrustingGullible
  6. GraciousDecorous
  7. HarmoniousDisruptive
  8. HealingIrritating
  9. KindCruel
  10. PoliteObsequious
  11. TenderHard
  12. OpenSecretive
  13. WarmFeverish
Dr. David R. Hawkins, Power vs. Force. The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior, chapter 9, "Power Patterns in Human Attitudes", S. 146-147, Hay House, February 2002

 

 

 

  • Although ridiculing faith and trust, skeptics themselves exhibit the same naive confidence and faith in their own subjective internationalizations and mentalized perceptions. The skeptic states that the mind is unable to know the truth, and then, paradoxically, uses that very mind to prove the validity of doubt and mistrust, thus even the skeptic is basically motivated by the same naive trust. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Reality, Spirituality and Modern Man, S. 166, 2008

 

(↓)

Blind faith – "Don't trust." programs

  • The innocence of the child never changes; in fact, it is the innocence of the child within you that is reading these words this very second. It never changes; it is that same trusting, believing, and 'hoping to hear the truth and be open to it' innocence that continues. Even if you do not believe what you are reading now, it is because some opposite program within your mind says, "Don't trust." And it was your innocence that bought the program of "Don't trust anybody." Even the mistrusting person is doing so out of trust. They are trusting the truth of that statement. Maybe one day their father said, "Don't trust anybody out there," and it was their innocence that bought the distrust.
    Dr. David R. Hawkins, Healing and Recovery, S. 59-60, 2009

 

(↓)

The ego does not trust God.

  • To the ego, abandoning the self-reward dynamic is looked upon as a loss. The ego does not trust God and thereby thinks it has only itself to turn to for sustenance, survival, and pleasure. The ego has faith in its own mechanisms and not in God. It should not be faulted for this error because it has no experiential basis for comparison. Its only way out is with faith that there is a better way. It hears a spiritual truth and begins to search for it when the mind becomes disillusioned with its own fallacies and failure to achieve happiness. It finally realizes that the grim satisfaction it squeezes out of pain is a poor substitute for joy. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Dissolving the Ego, Realizing the Self. Contemplations from the Teachings of David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., edited by Scott Jeffrey, S. 15, 1st quote, Hay House, August 2011

 

  • To be in the space just prior to thought [...] you sense that you are present. You sense that you are in the presence of the allness of us here. Just like when you walk out in nature, just before your stupid mind says, Isn't that a beautiful tree, you catch the space in which you saw the tree's beauty without comment. That's the space you live in. It's just prior to thought. It's easy to just fall back into it. It's not like something you have to accomplish through years of
    study and meditation. The willingness to trust it and just drop back into that – that that is your reality.
    Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Seminar Perception and Illusion: Distortions of Reality, 3 DVD set, 4. May 2002

 

 

  • "Trust your brother", as an example. YES, by all means TRUST their ESSENCE! […]
    Within a certain context and to a certain degree all things are possible. At the same time they are not. […] It's the error of mixing levels. […] You can walk on water at this level, if you try it on that level you are drowned. What's true at one level is not true on another level. […]
    You see what applies to the abstract level may not necessarily apply to the concrete. […] It is true but only within a certain context. [Limitations are humanness, protoplasm, gender, age, space and time.]
    Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Seminar Advaita. The Way to God through Mind, 3 DVD set, August 2002

 

  • Pseudo spiritual is: 'Oh I trust everybody, I'm sure I can give anybody my cheeckbook and the keys to my car, and I know I can depend on him to return it.' I got news for you. I had to go down after waiting a month to Cottonwood and
    get my car because it was still sitting in the driveway, because he was on a bender. I never would've gotten my car back
    if I waited for the goodness of mankind to blossom through this idiot. So being spiritual doesn't mean being a stupid
    pussy willow.
    I say that because people that are naïve pussy willows get taken, not just financially, they get taken spi-
    ritually. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Seminar Karma and the Afterlife, DVD 2 of 3, minute 50:12, October 2002

 

 

 

  • Faith is an aspect of personality without which you wouldn’t live. Faith is really operative at the practical level which
    has to do with expectation and expected realities, such as, your foot will land on the ground. Spiritual faith is some-
    thing different – placing your faith in things unseen – trust – the capacity to trust. This comes as an inspiration
    to do that. This increases the likelihood of the fulfillment of that. The likelihood of it is increased by your commitment and intention that the response is going to be more probable in a certain direction than another. You are affecting probability by intention. The modern mind would like to have it backed up. Faith for its own sake is already a certain sacredness. You are not looking for a payoff. You do it for its own sake and not for some gain. Thereby you fulfill your own potential to evolve. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Seminar Perception vs. Essence, 3 DVD set, 22. April 2006

 

  • God is infinitely merciful. Trust in the mercifulness of God. [...] Every hair on your head is counted – not because God
    is an old crank, but everything you do lays down a karmic track and that is what you are answerable for. God forgives
    you for that, but he lets you live it through because he knows what will come out of it – strength.
    Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Satsang Q&A, 2 CD set, 10. January 2007

 

  • Consciousness knows it from the consciousness. Should the moment arise for you, you won’t know where you got It from either. It’s like a stunning knowingness that stands alone, and something in you tells you that you have
    to trust it.
    Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Satsang Q&A, 2 CD set, 10. January 2007

 


 

Quotes by Paul Zak ♦ Dacher Keltner ♦ Adam Smith

  • Oxytocin is primarily a molecule of social connection. It affects every aspect of social and economic life, from who we choose to make investment decisions on our behalf to how much money we donate to charity. Oxytocin tells us when to trust and when to remain wary, when to give and when to hold back.
    Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, cited in: Oxytocin: Could the 'trust hormone' rebond our troubled world?, presented by the British daily newspaper The Guardian / British Sunday newspaper The Observer, Mark Honigsbaum,
    21. August 2011

 

(↓)

Five ways to enhance oxytocin levels

  1. Have a good meal with wine.
  2. Sit in the hot tub / warm water.
  3. Go for a walk (with the dog).
  4. Receive a back massage.
  5. Engage in an exciting undertaking.
Video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, Valentine's Day Tips, YouTube film, 1:10 minutes duration, posted 11. February 2009

 

Osterglocke
Easter lily (lilium longiflorum)
  • The levels of the oxytocin spike at the Wedding vows. Among all the tested guests of a wedding the biggest rise was found in the bride and the mother of the bride. The 'cuddle and monogamy chemical' oxytocin fosters trust, bonding and generosity.
    Maybe the reason we have these weddings is not just because of the emotional contagion – the empathy, the love – but because these emotions are linked to helping maintain the human race.
    Video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, My Big Fat Greek Wedding – Tears, Joy, and Oxytocin, presented by the Center of Neuroeconomic Studies, Vimeo film, 2:30 minutes duration, posted
    19. February 2010

 

  • Social networking releases the hormone oxytocin, which is associated with love and sexual satisfaction. Removed video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, Social Network Your Way to Sexual Satisfaction, presented by the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies, 2:22 minutes duration, posted
    10. July 2010

 

  • Question: Can neuroeconomics work for individual businesses?
    Answer: If you can induce this oxytocin rich environment, if you can create this environment, then you have a way to drive productivity and drive individual satisfaction for being part of this organization. We have a purpose, we are here
    to serve others and we see this as some endeavor that we do together. When do it together we feel good about our-
    selves and about the people that we’re helping. So what this means is that in the old model, "greed is good," the measurement technique is: lead with fear. In the model, empower individuals to be the best they can be in an organization with purpose, you’re going to lead with love. So if you lead with love then you have this oxytocin environment that will motivate people going beyond, exceeding expectations and leading to delighting the customer, delighting the people around me. And delight is what we really want from a customer experience.
    Video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxy-
    tocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, Big Think Interview With Paul Zak. What is the role of oxytocin in the brain?, 13:25 minutes duration, excerpted from When We're Shown Trust, Our Brains Motivate Us To Be Trustworthy, presented by the US American web portal Big Think,
    3:03 minutes duration, posted 9. November 2010

 

  • Those who release more oxytocin when they’re trusted are happier, they report greater satisfaction with life, they have better romantic relationships, they have more friendships, and they have more sex. All that sounds like a pretty good situation to me. So by training your brain to release oxytocin through your behaviors, you can actually improve your life. Video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, When We're Shown Trust, Our Brains Motivate Us To Be Trustworthy, presented by the US American web portal Big Think, 3:03 minutes duration, posted 9. November 2010

 

  • Oxytocin [selforganizing trade system] first appeared in fish 400 million years ago.  [Minute 7:38]
    Trade really is about sharing benefits. […] Our biology really tells us that at our hearts we are Libertarians.  Minute 9:29
    Our human nature is one of morality. Morality is what keeps us embedded in the social group.  Minute 12:10
    I want to convince you that at the level of the brain Markets are moral.  Minute 2:35
Video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, Moral Markets: Oxytocin, Trade, and Human Nature, presented by the Reason Foundation, "Reason Weekend" 2011, recorded by
Reason TV, YouTube film, 14:17 minutes duration, posted 26. April 2011

 

(↓)

Petty evils exhibited by normally virtuous people.

When physiologically stressed and in "survival mode" the testosterone and its bioactive metabolite DHT are released in humans. Stress hormones prevent oxytocin from binding to brain receptors, tipping the balance towards distrust and away from pro-social behaviour.

  • We found that we have not only a biology for reciprocation but we have a biology for punishment. The less you play nice with me – particularly for men – the more I will have a spike in testosterone. The male response is to beat on those who misbehave. [minute 6:22]
    We found in our [longterm] experiments with 1000s and 1000s of people that 5%
    of the population don't release oxytocin on stimulus.
    These 5% have very unusual psychological profiles. They look a lot like psychopaths. They are self-deceptive, deceptive, manipulative. They don't attach to one person at a time.
    They don't form relationships well. They are in survival mode.
    Triggers are: Deficient genetics; bad childhood (a missing feedback system); high stress levels.  Minute 10:13
    Video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxy-
    tocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author,
    Moral Markets: Oxytocin, Trade, and Human Nature, presented by the Reason Foundation, "Reason Weekend" 2011, recorded
    by ReasonTV, YouTube film, 14:17 minutes duration, posted 26. April 2011

 

  • 2 percent of the population have a dysfunction in oxytocin and they act like psychopaths. Those people are dange-
    rous, because they can simulate trustworthyness [related to the oxytocin response].
    Audio radio interview with Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, Integrity and the Neuroeconomics of Trust, presented by the US American web radio station "Trust-Across-America", minute 52:21, 55:15 minutes duration, aired 28. July 2010   Link deleted

 

  • We found that about 95% of the people in our experiments have an intact oxytocin system. When they are trusted
    they release oxytocin and they reciprocate the money [that they had been given]. But 5% don't. They are dangerous.
    They have the attributes of psychopaths. They are deceptive. They don't bond well. They don't have a lot of friends.
    They never reciprocate money. [...] These psychopaths are identifiable with a blood test. They don't have [...] the
    sense of connection.
    Video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxy-
    tocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author,
    The Science of Trust, presented by TEDx Constitution Drive, 2010, YouTube film, minute 10:58, 14:31 minutes duration,
    posted 29. May 2011

 

  • [Paraphrased] About half of the sexually abused women don't release oxytocin on stimulus. High stress is an oxyto-
    cin inhibitor. Extra doses of testosterone made men more selfish and willing to punish people who behave immorally.
    Video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, Trust, morality – and oxytocin, presented by Global TED Talks, recorded Edinburgh, Scotland, July 2011, minute 11:13, 16:35 minutes duration, posted 1. November 2011

 

 

  • High trust countries are by and large rich countries or certainly fast growing countries.
    2% of Brasilians trust each other.
    [5% of Peruvians and Phillipinians trust each other.]
    45% of US Americans trust each other.
    66% of Norwegians trust each other.
    Video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, Why Trust (Or Lack of It) Can Mean Poverty or Prosperity, presented by the US American web portal Big Think, recorded 27. October 2010,
    host John Cookson, transcript, YouTube film, minute 0:26, 5:22 minutes duration, posted 20. June 2011

 

  • Trust for example in China is quite high. China has a very effective government, even though its authoritarian it's
    market oriented. […] With sufficient growth all authoritarian governments eventually become democracies. [....]
    As economic growth proceeds it moves power away from the center. When individuals have economic power they
    can press their governments to be better. That's the way to make progress in developing countries. […] Trust le-
    vels in other countries [as in Sub-Saharan Africa and South America, with corrupt governments as Haiti or Vene-
    zuala] are so low that you see no or little economic growth.
    Video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxy-
    tocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, Why
    Trust (Or Lack of It) Can Mean Poverty or Prosperity
    , transcript, presented by the US American web portal Big Think, host John Cookson, recorded 27. October 2010, YouTube film, minute 2:31, 5:22 minutes duration, posted 20. June 2011

 

(↓)

Alternative source:

Article Born to Be Good, presented by the US American daily newspaper The New York Times, S. 2 of 6, 189. January 2009

  • In 1996, neuroscientist Paul Zak and colleagues asked random samples of parti-
    cipants in various countries to answer the following question: "Generally speaking, would you say that most people can be trusted, or that you cannot be too careful in dealing with people?" After statistically controlling for appropriate variables, such as economic development, Zak and colleagues found that for every 15 percent in-
    crease in the trust of a nation’s citizens, their economic fortunes rise by $430.
    Trust facilitates economic exchange with fewer transaction costs, including fewer failed negotiations, adversarial settlements, and needless lawsuits. With increased trust among a citizenry, discrimination and economic inequality fall. High jen ratios pro-
    mote a society's economic and ethical progress.
    […]
    As a generalization, Zak found that Scandinavian and East Asian cultures are more trusting than South American and Eastern European cultures. Poorer nations (India) are often more trusting than wealthier nations (the United States).
    Dacher Keltner, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of psychology, University of California, Berkeley, director of the Greater Good Science Center, author, Born to Be Good. The Science of a Meaningful Life, W.W. Norton & Company, 12. January 2009

 

(↓)

Empathy: Humans are essentially "other-regarding" beings with a capacity for "fellow feeling".

  • How selfish soever man may be supposed, there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortunes of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it, except the pleasure of seeing it. Of this kind is pity or compassion, the emotion we feel for the misery of others, when we either see it, or are made to conceive it in a very lively manner. That we often derive sorrow from the sorrows of others, is a matter of fact too obvious to require any instances to prove it; for this sentiment, like all the other original passions of human nature, is by no means confined to the virtuous or the humane, though they perhaps may feel it with the most exquisite sensibility. The greatest ruffian, the most hardened violator of the laws of society, is not altogether without it. Adam Smith (1723-1790) Scottish US American social and moral philosopher, pioneer of classical political economic theory, Theory of Moral Sentiments, 1st sentence, 1759

 

See also: ► Innate goodness ⇔ innate badness

 

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

 

Source: ► Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971) US American Reformed theologian,
philosopher, written ~1941, cited in: Serenity Prayer

Englische Texte – English section on Trust

Bonding chemical Oxytocin

Timeline of Oxytoxin research
༺༻DateDiscoveryDiscovered byLegend
1.400 million years agoOxytocin./. An extract from the human posterior pituitary gland, oxytocin first appeared in fish who adopted a selforganizing trade system.
2.1909Naming oxytocinSir Henry H. Dale The British pharmacologist Dale first discovered Oxytocin as the agent that contracted the uterus of a pregnant cat. Using the Greek terms for "quick" and "birth" he named the extract oxytocin.
3.1915 Fight-or-freeze-or-flight responseWalter Bradford Cannon Bradford Cannon discovered the Testosterone-adrenaline based physiological reaction via the sympathetic nervous system
to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival.
4.1970sOxytocin./. Also found a neurotransmitter. It is acting on the limbic system, the brain's emotional center.
5.1990sBondingUniversity of Maryland Animal studies at the University of Maryland showed that oxytocin fostered bonding and monogamous behaviour in prairie voles.
6.2000 Tend-and-befriend responseShelley Elizabeth Taylor4 Taylor discovered the Oxytocin-estrogene based behavior exhibited by some animals and humans, when under threat, secreted on demand by activating the parasympathetic system.
7.23 March 2009Social perception Theodoridou, Rowea, Penton-Voaka, Rogers The study on Oxytocin and social perception at the University of Bristol, United Kingdom, found that "oxytocin increases perceived facial trustworthiness and attractiveness."
8.2001 onwardsMoralityPaul Zak American neuroeconomist and leading researcher on oxytocin Zak discovered that oxytocin holds the key to human morality, policing the "self-other divide" and subtly prodding humans towards virtuous behavior.
9.~2013Women./. Women produce 20% more oxytocin than men.
Note: 50% of the women who have been sexually abused in their childhood do not produce oxytocin.
10. Stress./. Stress reduces the production of oxytocin thereby starving the care circuits in the brain.
Note: Drug users of crystall meth shut their caring down.
11. Production./. An accumulation of oxytocin receptors is found in the amygdala
and the hypothalamus in the brain.

 

Health benefits of cuddling
~ Oxytocin along with vasopressin ~
༺༻Effects of oxytocin / vasopressin
1.Lowers our blood pressure.
2.Helps relieve pain and raises our pain threshold.
3.Reduces social anxiety.
4.Lowers levels of cortisol (stress hormone).
5.Protects against inflammation and oxidative stress.
Source: ► Article 5 Ways Cuddling Makes Us Healthier, presented by the US American men's initiative
The Good Men Project, Kate Bartolotta, 2. December 2013
~ Oxytocin along with vasopressin ~
༺༻Effects of oxytocin / vasopressin
1.Solidifies relationships
2.Promotes attachment
3.Improves social skills
4.Fosters generosity
5.Triggers protective instincts
6.Crystallizes emotional memory
7.Boosts sexual arousal
8.Facilitates child birth
9.Induces sleep
10.Eases stress
11.Reduces drug cravings
Source: ► Video clip Eleven Interesting Effects of Oxytocin, presented by the removed website oxytocinfactor.com, excerpting an article by
Maureen Salamon, published by MyHealthNewsDaily.com, YouTube film, 2:29 minutes duration, posted 28. February 2012
References:
Study: Social Media Increases "Cuddle" Chemical Production in the Brain, presented by the digital media guide website Mashable,
     Jennifer Van Grove, 25. June 2010
Critical article : Article One Molecule for Love, Morality, and Prosperity? Why the hype about oxytocin is dumb and dangerous,
     presented by the US American online magazine Slate, Ed Yong, 17. July 2012
See also:
Oxytocin – the bonding chemical
Bonding and oxytocin enhancing behaviors to deepen the emotional connection
Trust study on economies worldwide – Paul Zak

 

Oxytocin is the human glue. When a woman has sex with a man, the neuro-peptide, neurotransmitter, and hormone oxytocin is released into her system to strenghten the bond with her lover. If a woman has multiple sexual partners her levels of oxytocin are lowered. This can inhibit her ability to bond to her husband or signi-
ficant others.
Oxytocin is infused during pregnancy and breast-feeding which helps the mother in the bonding process with
her infant.

Women get lots of comfort from talking. As women talk, their body releases a brain hormone called oxytocin, the "feel-good" hormone.
A study suggests soldiers form loyal "Bands of Brothers" fighting and dying for each other because they have the same instincts that let mothers ferociously protect their newborns.
Article Love hormone Oxytocin helps soldiers like each other and hate the enemy, presented by the English daily newspaper The Daily Telegraph, Richard Alleyne, US American science correspondent, 11. June 2010

 

Ehering
Placing a wedding ring
The emotions that promote the meaningful life are organized to an interest in the welfare of others. Compassion shifts the mind in ways that increase the likelihood of taking pleasure in the improved welfare of others. Awe shifts the very contents of our self-definition, away from the emphasis of personal desires and preferences and toward that which connects us to others. Neurochemicals (oxytocin) and regions of the nervous system related to these emotions promote trust and long-term devo-
tion
. We have been designed to care about things other than the gratification of desire and the maximizing of self-interest.
Dacher Keltner, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of psychology, UC Berkeley, altruism researcher, director of the Greater Good Science Center, Born to Be Good. The Science of a Meaningful Life, W.W. Norton & Company, 12. January 2009

 

(↓)

Overcoming self-absorption and building mutual trust

The deepest meaning of sexual experience lies not in pleasure, or even in reproduction, but in the opportunity it affords to surmount the solipsistic gulf, opening the door, so to speak, whether or not one understakes the work to go through. It is the afterplay, not the foreplay, that counts in building trust.
Walter J. Freeman (1927-2016) US American biologist, theoretical neuroscientist, philosopher, cited in: Norman Doidge, M.D.
(*1950) Canadian US American psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, brain researcher, essayist, The Brain That Changes Itself. Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science, S. 121, Viking Adult, 1st edition 15. March 2007

 

People who have misused their sexual faculty and become bonded to multiple persons will diminish the power of
oxytocin to maintain a permanent bond with an individual.

John Diggs, M.D., Eric Keroack, M.D., US American medical director for "A Woman's Concern", Abstinence Clearinghouse, cited
in: Mark Gungor (*1954) US American pastor, comedian, marriage counselor, international speaker, Laugh Your Way to a Better
Marriage. Unlocking the Secrets to Life, Love, and Marriage
, S. 13, Atria Books, reprint paperback issue 3. March 2009

 

The hypothalamus of men and women shows a significant sexual dimorphism. Only with men it is coupled with sexual arousal, aggression and dominant behavior. Predisposed men with significantly high testosterone levels and very low serotonine levels commit violent acts. Serotonine, Oxytocin, and the neuropeptide Y contribute to the calming and to aggression control.

The hypothalamus (saturated with testosterone) – ONLY in men – is the agent of sexual arousal AND for violence.
Video presentation by Prof. Gerhard Roth (*1942) German biologist, behavioural physiologist, brain researcher, University Bremen, author, Freier Wille, Verantwortlichkeit und Schuld, PDF [German] 14. März 2007; The difference between men's and women's brains, YouTube film, minute 1:11, 1:45 minutes duration, posted 17. October 2007

 

Social media networking releases the hormone oxytocin and reduces stress.

Virtual media can make us more virtuous, better human beings. it is potientially very important because we are all connected to the entire planet through social media.
Deleted video presentation about Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathemati-
cian, oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, Southern California, author, Social Network Your Way to Sexual Satisfaction, presented by Center for Neuroeconomics Studies, 1:21 minutes duration, posted 10. July 2010

 

  • Swearing causes effects on various parts of the body. It does increase heart rate: It seems to cause the fight-or-flight response. The swearing study showed, the same person can stand far greater levels of pain when swearing than when not. Swearing actually cause aggression levels to rise, increase arousal, and helps deal with pain that way.
    Article The Science of Why Swearing Physically Reduces Pain, presented by the US American monthly magazine Wired, Emma Byrne, 24. January 2018, excerpted from: Emma Byrne, Swearing Is Good for You. The Amazing Science of Bad Language, W.W.
    Norton & Company, 2017

Bonding and oxytocin enhancing behaviors to deepen the emotional connection

Five ways to enhance oxytocin levels

  • Have a good meal with wine.
  • Sit in the hot tub / warm water.
  • Go for a walk (with the dog).
  • Receive a back massage.
  • Engage in an exciting undertaking.

 

Source:
► Video presentation by Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician,
     oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California,
     author, Valentine's Day Tips, YouTube film, 1:10 minutes duration, posted 11. February 2009

 

More ways to enhance oxytocin levels

  • Smile while keeping eye contact.
  • Have Skin-to-skin contact.
  • Provide a service or treat without being asked.
  • Give unsolicited approval (i.e. smiles or compliments).
Anstarren
  • Gaze into each other's eyes for some time.
  • Listen intently, and restate what you hear.
  • Forgive or overlook an error or a thoughtless remark.
  • Prepare food for your partner.
  • Synchronize your breathing with your partners breathing.
  • Kiss with lips and tongues.
  • Cradle, or gently rock, your partner's head and torso.
  • Hold, or spoon, each other in stillness for at least twenty minutes to a half-hour.
  • Make wordless sounds of contentment and pleasure.
  • Stroke with intent to comfort.
  • Massage with intent to comfort, especially feet, shoulders and head.
  • Hug with intent to comfort.
  • Lie with your ear over your partner's heart and listen to their heartbeat for some time.
  • Touch and suck of nipples/breasts.
  • Gently place your palm over your lover's genitals with the intent to comfort them.
  • Make time together at bedtime a priority (even if one of you has to get up afterward).

 

References:
► Blog article by Marnia Robinson, US American former corporate lawyer, researcher, author on ancient sacred-sex prescriptions,
     The Lazy Way to Stay in Love, presented by removed website reuniting.info, 17. June 2008
► Blog article Studies expand oxytocin's role beyond 'cuddle hormone' , presented by the removed website reuniting.info, Gary
     Wilson
, US American science teacher, 15. November 2010

Trust study on economies worldwide – Paul Zak

Virtuous cycle of trust – applicable individually and collectively
Oxytocin ⇒ EmpathyMorality ⇒ Trust ⇒ Prosperity ⇒ Oxytocin

 

In 1996, neuroscientist and neuroeconomist Paul Zak, Ph.D. and his colleagues performed an international trust study.
Participants in different countries were asked the following question:

"Generally speaking, would you say that most people can be trusted,
or that you cannot be too careful in dealing with people?"

 

Conclusions of the statistical analysis of the study results in regard to the factor of trust in economic development:
TRUST

  • promotes and upholds the economic and ethical progress in societies.
  • facilitates economic exchange with fewer transaction costs.
  • allows for fewer failed negotiations and adversarial settlements, and lawsuits.
    Ergo: Enhanced trust levels among a citizenry decrease discrimination
    and economic inequality (the cause of a garb of social ailments).5

 

For every 15% increase in the trust level of a nation's citizens, their economic fortunes rise by $430.

  • Scandinavian and East Asian cultures are more trusting than South American and Eastern European cultures.
  • Poorer nations, like India, are often more trusting than wealthier nations, like the United States.

 

Source:
► Article featuring Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxytocin researcher,
     Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author, The Neurobiology of Trust,
     presented by the US American popular science magazine Scientific American, June 2008
"Economists have uncovered that interpersonal trust is among the most powerful predictors of whether or not a country will be "rich"."
Reference: ► Article Oxytocin: Trust, Touch and the Economy, presented by the mindpowermasters.blogspot, Brian Sullivan, June 2009

Parasympathetic · sympathetic · social nervous systems – Bradford, Taylor, Porges, Keltner, Maté

Discovery of three brain response mechanisms
DatePhysiological responseFirst described byLegend
1915Fight-or-freeze-or-flight response Walter Bradford CannonTestosterone-Adrenaline based physiological reaction via the sympathetic nervous system to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival
2000Tend-and-befriend response Shelley Elizabeth Taylor
Psychological Review
Oxytocin-estrogene based behavior exhibited by some animals and humans, when under threat, secreted on demand by activating the parasympathetic system
March 2009Social perceptionTheodoridou, Rowea, Penton-Voaka, RogersScientific paper Oxytocin and social perception. Oxytocin increases perceived facial trustworthiness and attractiveness, University of Bristol, United Kingdom, archived by the free MEDLINE database PubMed, accepted 23. March 2009, June 2009
2003
2014
Social engagement response6
Social·engagement·system
Dr. Stephen Porges Polyvagal Theory7
2014 Fear induced
Freeze response
Dr. Stella Koutsikou et al.Scientific paper Brain circuits involved in emotion discovered by neuroscientists, University of Bristol, England, 22. April 20148

"When parents are stressed, they're less able to attune to their kids. The less able they're to attune to their kids the more likely
their children's brains will not develop optimally."  Minute 27:16 ||

See also:
Levels of transformation within five brain frames: From survival (patrix) → service (matrix)
Four basic brains and their role in breaking taboos
Enhancing collective intelligence by social perceptiveness (EI) and equal participation

 

Three layered nervous systems
Oldest parasympathetic nervous system –––– "Immobilization / dissociation" [Freeze] behavior
Older sympathetic nervous system –––– "Fight or flight" behavior
Youngest social nervous system –––– "Tend and befriend" behavior

Three fundamental responses to the environment [*]
1. Reptilian brain –––– Freeze response
2. Mammalian brain –––– Fight-or-flight response
3. Higher mammalian brain –––– [Given emotional safety is present] Social engagement response9

 

It's this interesting shift in modern science.
We've learned a lot about 'flight and fight' physiology.
And now we are starting to see that there is this 'care and share' physiology.
There is this really new emphasis of how we think about the human nervous system.

Video interview with Dacher Keltner, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of psychology, University of California, Berkeley, director of the Greater Good Science Center, author, Bringing Out the Good, presented by The Center for Spirituality & Healing (UMNCSH), YouTube film, minute 3:35, 10:41 minutes duration, posted 9. June 2015 The ancient Confucian concept of "jen" is soft-wired into the human nervous system.

 

When we feel safe we are able to engage our social nervous system allowing us to connect to others, feel playful, feel love, and relax into connection. When we experience threat we will engage our social nervous system as an attempt to re-establish connection and safety. For example, "tend and befriend" behaviors are a stress response that attempts to re-establish a safe relational bond. However, if our social nervous system attempts to resolve stress are unsuccessful we will resort to evolutionary older strategies. Initially we will draw upon sympathetic actions such as "fight or flight". Again if we are unsuccessful in handling stress at this point we default to the oldest evolutionary survival strategies that are rooted in parasympathetic activity such as "immobilization or dissociation".
Stephen Porges suggests that strengthening the social nervous system helps to mediate the actions of both sympa-
thetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.
You know that you are engaging the social nervous system when you are able to recognize when you are safe, be self-reflective, feel a warmth in your smile, and the sparkle in your eyes. Your social nervous system increases your ability to respond effectively when you feel keyed up with anxiety or shut-down with depression.
Blog article by Dr. Arielle Schwartz, US American licensed clinical psychologist, Polyvagal theory offers a valuable framework for effective responses to intense emotional and physiological symptoms of PTSD., 24. June 2014

Four response categories of women – Ellie Drake

Effects of adrenaline and oxytocin on the human feminine physiology
Rather than competing women are natural givers in life and business, who naturally cooperate and collaborate with others.
Success is networking, developing relationships and taking action.
The bonding hormone oxytocin instills the 'tend and befriend' behavior. It can be secreted on demand
by activating the parasympathetic system by trusting the process, exhaling and relaxing the chest area.
༺༻CategoryHormoneExpressionProduction
Nervous system
Brain
Description
1. Survival
Inhaling

Fight·or·flight
mode
Adrenaline / Testosterone

Expressly male
Separation
Freedom
Achieving
Prosperity
Sympathetic
nervous system
Surviving in a competitive
     corporate environment

✓ Seen as rather aggressive

Adrenaline is incongruent to a
     female body, leads to biochemical
     confusion.
10
2. Resentment
mode
Male   ✓ Come across super-sensitive
✓ Consumed in the
     manifestation struggle
✓ Still learning to discern their
     feelings
to those of others
3. Flow mode Female  Following their instincts
✓ Tapped into their courage
✓ Resulting in some positive and
    synchronistic incidents

Lack of congruence, consis-
    tency, magnetism, inner
    power, authentic behavior
4. Full potential
Exhaling


Tend·and·befriend
mode
11
Oxytocin / Estrogen

Expressly female
Bonding
Love
Prosperity
Parasympathetic
nervous system
Hippocampus
Tapped consistently
     into oxytocin

Congruence, consistency,
    magnetism, inner power,
    authentic behavior

✓ Seen as rather even-tempered,
    equaninomous

Oxytocin is congruent to the
    female body, leads to biochemical
    congruency.
Source: ► Deleted article by Dr. Ellie Drake, Iranian success speaker, Women Empowerment –
Are You Tapping Into Your Prosperity Hormone?
, presented by articlesnatch.com, 8. October 2010
See also:
Step models
Parasympathetic · sympathetic · social nervous systems – Bradford, Taylor, Porges, Keltner, Maté
Three mating drives Helen Fisher ∞ Three Daoist types of integration of Yin and Yang

 

DatePhysiological responseFirst described byLegend
1915Fight-or-freeze-or-flight response Walter Bradford CannonTestosterone-Adrenaline based physiological reaction via the sympathetic
nervous system to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival
2000 Tend-and-befriend response Shelley Elizabeth·Taylor12Oxytocin-estrogene based behavior exhibited by some animals and humans, when under threat, secreted on demand by activating the parasympathetic system
March 2009Social perceptionTheodoridou, Rowea, Penton-Voaka, RogersScientific paper Oxytocin and social perception. Oxytocin increases perceived facial trustworthiness and attractiveness, University of Bristol, United Kingdom, archived by the free MEDLINE database PubMed, accepted 23. March 2009, June 2009
See also: ► Jen science on humanity – Dacher Keltner

 

It's this interesting shift in modern science. We've learned a lot about 'flight and fight' physiology. And now we are starting to see that there is this 'care and share' physiology. There is this really new emphasis of how we think about the human nervous system.  Video interview with Dacher Keltner, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of psychology, University of California, Berkeley, director of the Greater Good Science Center, author, Bringing Out the Good, presented by The Center for Spirituality & Healing, YouTube film,
minute 3:35, 10:41 minutes duration, posted 9. June 2015
   The ancient Confucian concept of "jen" is soft-wired into the human nervous system.

Three archetypal wounds in trust and love – Mario Martinez

Interculturally only three basic emotional wounds (known also as 'sacred wounds' or 'felix culpa')
were found:
ABANDONMENT    ♦    SHAMING    ♦    BETRAYAL.
༺༻Universal woundRemarkSurvival threatChakra levelTemperatureBody reaction
Defence
Emotional reaction Remedy
Healing process
1. Abandonment Most primal woundBODY 1. 4. 5. Chakra Cold Cortisol
Top stress hormone
Fear
Anxiety
Commitment to Self
Compassion
Taking action
2. Shaming Defiling the sacredPSYCHE2. 4. 6. Chakra Hot Pro-inflammatory products
Arthritis
Cardiovascular diseases
Humiliation Honoring Self
Dignifying Self
Setting boundaries
3. Betrayal in
trust / loyalty
Most severe woundMIND 3. 4. 7. Chakra Hot Adrenalin
Stress hormone
Anger
Rage, hostility
Loyalty to Self
Trust in Self

 

Intercultural emotional 'sacred wounds' resonating on four levels of human expression
༺༻Field of expressionQuadrantDomainBiocognition
Cultural and medical expressions subject to level
1.Body Human hardwareBiology
Science
Common sense realityPsychoneurocardioimmunology
2.Psyche and Mind Human softwarePsychologySymbols, memes
writing, pictures
Psychoneurocardioimmunology
3.Group Community Worldly hardwareSociology
Law
Cultural paradigm
Mainstream beliefs
Medical anthropology
4.Spirit Universal softwareReligionFaithMythical beliefsMystical theology

 

Sources featuring Mario Martinez, PsyD, Uruguaian clinical neuropsychologist, contemplative psychologist, psycho-neuroimmunologist, author
► Audio interview Mind Body Code, presented by the US American radio broadcasting company CBS Radio (2005-2017), host
     KG Stiles, YouTube film, 9:59 minutes duration, aired 20. April 2010
► Video presentation Embodying The Four Immeasurables, YouTube film, 1:48:40 duration, posted 22. July 2011
► Audio interview How the Mind Wounds & Heals the Body, presented by the US American radio broadcasting company CBS Radio
     (2005-2017), host KG Stiles, YouTube film, 21:46 minutes duration, aired 14. November 2012
► Audio presentation The Covenant of Safety, podcast MP3, presented by the US American multimedia publishing company Sounds True,
    Insights at the Edge, host Tami Simon (*1953) US American founder and director of Sounds True, 10:21 minutes duration, aired
    31. November 2012
► Audio interview Dr Mario Martinez, neuropsychologist, on his book: The Mind Body Code, presented by the YouTube platform "A Better
     World TV", host Mitchell J. Rabin, 1:32:49 duration, posted 6. March 2019
See also:
Cubic cosmology as opposed to spheric cosmology – Wallace Black Elk
Historic cycles – From the love of power to the power of love – Anodea Judith
Information Age ⇒ Conceptual Age ⇒ Changing expressions of creativity – Daniel Pink
Four developmental periods in biology, ecology, finance and economics
Moving into dignity politics – Four historical arcs of evolution
Healing corresponding "sacred wounds" on four (3:1) levels
Downward evolution from dignity ⇒ empathy ⇒ love ⇒ truth – Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnell
Emotions and ► The Girl Without Hands

Healing corresponding 'sacred wounds' on four (3:1) levels

"Sacred wounds" resonating with four levels of human expression and experience
Various 3:1 correspondences in organic and human life
༺༻Focus
Circles
Body
correspondence
Phrase
correspondence
Temple
correspondence
Relational
correspondence
Energy
correspondence
Discipline
correspondence
Mind frameAlchemical
correspondence
1.Body Two feet
One part each
Either-or Outside the temple Individual Raw duality Biology
Science
Literal
Human hardware
Simplicity
Lead
2.Mind Two legs
Two parts each
Both-and
As-well-as
Inside the temple Family
Friends
Colleagues
Refined duality Psychology Symbolic
Human software
Laboratory
Iron
3.Group One trunk
Two hands/
arms, organs
Neither-nor Within the sanctuary,
at the altering altar
Community
Nation state
Nonlinearity Sociology
Law
Paradoxical
Worldly hardware
Complexity
Copper
4.Spirit
World
One head
Two brain hemispheres
Sense organs
All-in-all Opening the
tabernacle ♦
Holy of holies
Planet
Internations
Spirit world
Nonduality Religion
Mythical beliefs
Neo-
creational

Universal software
Paradigm·shift
Gold
"The creation of a more peaceful and happier society has to begin
➤ from the level of the individual, and
➤ from there it can expand to one's family, to one's neighborhood,
➤ to one's community and so on."

H.H. 14th Dalai Lama (*1935) Tibetan leader of the "Yellow Hat" branch of Tibetan Buddhism, Facebook comment, 11:09 9. January 2012
Potency 1: Women regaining VOICE
Potency 10: Men regaining HEART
Potency 100: Society recreating healthy myths
Potency 1000: Reawakening Goddess Sophia
See also:
Principle 3:1 and ► The Girl Without Hands and ► Emotions
Three archetypal wounds in trust and love – Mario Martinez
Four-stage composition of ancient Egyptian temples – Model of mystery schools
Downward evolution from dignity ⇒ empathy ⇒ love ⇒ truth – Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnell

Three mating drives Helen Fisher ∞ Three Daoist types of integration of Yin and Yang

Biology of the human mating drives ∞
Energy of the human melting embrace
Neuroanthropologist and brain researcher Helen Fisher, Ph.D. points out three very strong circuits/drives which have evolved
in the brain of animals and humans. These drives of mating and bonding may lead one to act self sacrificially (dying for the other)
as well as to killing oneself or the other when being rejected.
NOTE: When these three compartmentalized brain systems are not synchronized with each other trouble may well arise.
Three mating drives ⇔ one loving practice
༺༻     Focus         1st drive         2nd drive         3rd drive         Loving practice     
1.Mating drives
Bonding pull
Sex drive Romantic love Longterm attachment Mutual angelic cultivation13
Spiritual bonding
2.Brain circuit Reptilian brain
Reptilian complex

Triune brain
Limbic system
Paleomammalian complex
Triune brain
Neocortex
Neomammalian complex
Triune brain
Prefrontal cortex
Etheric brain

Nonlinear immortal brain
3.TimeframeOldest brain
Less older brain
Younger brain
Youngest brain
Spiritual maturity
14 / 15 / 16 / 17
4.Chronos / Kairos Linear time Linear time Linear time Quantum time
5.Brain hemisphere Left brain Left brain Left brain Right brain
6.Driving
hormones

Biological sources
Testosterone
Estrogen
Adrenaline

Caudate nucleus18
Dopamine
Norepinephrine

Caudate nucleus
Oxytocin
Vasopressin
Oxytocin
Endorphins
7.Drive Random
Id driven
Deliberate
Ego driven
Committed
Self chosen
Love induced
True love
Inner calling
Spirit induced
8.Sexual Exchange Humping Mating Love making Melting embrace
9.Location of union Mother's womb
Sperm and egg
Male and female genitals Male and female genitals Inner being of the refined individual
Yin and Yang fired upward

Union of spirit with spirit, mind with mind, every cell with every cell of both bodies
10.Attributes of
union
Ordinary intercourse Ordinary intercourse Ordinary intercourse Practice of the integral way
Selfawareness without ego

Refining of gross energy to subtle light energy; within and around the body, not attached to it
11.Nature
Health
Biological impulse Biological impulse Biological impulse Transcendent pull
Integration of the entire energy body

Improved health, harmonized emotions, healing of addictions, appeasing of negative impulses, mastery, wholeness, virtues
12.Action
Integration of
Yin and Yang
Effortful diffusing Effortful diffusing Effortful diffusing Calm relaxed quiet natural integrating
Mutually uplifting, sharing transformation
and bliss
13.Orgasm Orgasm·focused·sex
Peak big O
Orgasm-focused sex
Peak big O
Orgasm-focused sex
Peak big O
Non-orgasmic intercourse
Valley Orgasm
14.Purpose Pleasure
Pressure release
Pleasure
Reproduction
Raising children
Reproduction
Healing the psyche
Mutually exchanging subtle fluids
15.Expressing Divinity
Divine Mother
Fertile reproductive valley Fertile reproductive valley Fertile reproductive valley Allness
Immeasurable heart, Allknowing mind
16.Partnering Many partners
Polygamy
Chosen partner(s)
Serial monogamy
Committed relationship
Serial monogamy

Marriage
Long-term devotion
Loyal Bonding
17.Maturity Immature
man and woman
Maturing
man and woman
Mature
man and woman
Spiritualized
man and woman
18.Generational
potency
19
Children Parents Grandparents Greatgrandparents
19.Need Basic survival Breeding / Nurturing Lower Mind
Morals
Higher Mind
Ethics, "Dignity for all"
20.Rank expression Tribal Moral Loving Compassionate
21.Capacity status Mortality
Transitory
Mortality
Transitory
Mortality
Transitory
Immortality
Imperishable timeless field for
the conception of higher life
22.Biblical assignment Be fruitful!20 Multiply! Be the stewards
of the Earth!
Be perfect, therefore,
as your heavenly Father is.
21
23.Birth process Conception Expulsion Birthing Cordcutting
24.Evolution in
consciousness
Unconscious INSIDE
Horizontally conceived
Unconscious OUTSIDE
Horizontally expulsed
Conscious OUTSIDE
Horizontally-Vertically birthed
Conscious INSIDE
Vertically-Horizontally new-born
25.Level Linearity
1st Tier
Linearity
1st Tier
Linearity
1st Tier
Nonlinearity
2nd Tier
26.QualitySeparated – NonintegrousSeparated – IntegrousSeparated – Integrous Uniting
Integrous

 

Study results on three distinct emotion-motivation systems (drives) governing mammalian mating behavior

Mammals and birds have evolved three primary, discrete, interrelated emotion-motivation systems in the brain for mating, reproduction, and parenting: lust, attraction, and male-female attachment. Each emotion-motivation system is associated with
a specific constellation of neural correlates and a distinct behavioral repertoire.
  • Lust evolved to initiate the mating process with any appropriate partner;
  • Attraction evolved to enable individuals to choose among and prefer specific mating partners, thereby conserving their mating time and energy;
  • Male-female attachment evolved to enable individuals to cooperate with a reproductive mate until species-specific
    parental duties have been completed
    .
The evolution of these three emotion-motivation systems contribute to contemporary patterns of marriage, adultery, divorce, remarriage, stalking, homicide and other crimes of passion, and clinical depression due to romantic rejection.
Abstract by Helen Fisher, Ph.D. (*1945), A. Aron, D. Mashek, H. Li, L.L. Brown, Defining the brain systems of lust, romantic attraction, and attachment, archived by the free MEDLINE database PubMed, published by the peer-reviewed academic journal in sexology Archives of Sexual Behavior, volume 31, issue 5, S. 413-419, October 2002
Sources on Fisher's thesis on Sex drive, Romantic love, Longterm attachment featuring Helen Fisher, Ph.D. (*1945) Canadian-American research professor of biological anthropology and human behavior, Center for Human Evolutionary Studies, Rutgers University, expert on romantic interpersonal attraction, chief scientific adviser to Chemistry.com, author
► Deleted video interview Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love, presented by The Science Network (TSN),
     host Roger Bingham, location "The Book Works," Del Mar, California, 43:00 minutes duration, 8. June 2006
Video presentation Helen Fisher tells us why we love and cheat, presented by TED Talks, Vimeo film, 23:29 minutes duration, filmed
     February 2006, posted March 2012
Video presentation The brain in love, presented by TED Talks 2006, 15:56 minutes duration, filmed February 2008, posted July 2008
See also:
Four major biological love types – Helen Fisher and ► Correlated typology chart
Lao Tzu and ► Tao and ► Principle 3:1 and ► Marriage and ► Integration
See also – Spiritual bonding:
Three Daoist types of Yin ∞ Yang integration and sacred sexuality excerpted from the Daoist Hua Hu Ching, ~300 CE
Quotes on Karezza
Siehe auch: ► Biologie der drei grundlegenden menschlichen Paarungstriebe

 

༺༻Yin and Yang integration Type and expression of male⇔female union
1. The first integration of yin and yangisthe union of seed and egg within the womb.
2. The second integration of yin and yangisthe sexual union of the mature male and female.
Both of these are concerned with flesh and blood, and all that is conceived in this realm must one day disintegrate and pass away.
3.It is only the third integrationwhichgives birth to something immortal.
In this integration, a highly evolved individual joins the subtle inner energies of yin and yang under the light of spiritual understanding. Through the practices of the Integral Way he refines his gross, heavy energy into something ethereal and light. This divine light has the capability of penetrating into the mighty ocean of spiritual energy and complete wisdom that is the Tao. The new life created by the final integration is self-aware yet without ego, capable of inhabiting a body yet not attached to it, and guided by wisdom rather than emotion. Whole and virtuous, it can never die.
Source: ► Wang Fou, taoist, author, Brian Walker, translator, Hua Hu Ching. The Unknown Teachings of Lao Tzu,
verse 66, HarperOne San Francisco, 1995, Harper Collins, revised edition 4. August 2009

 

Differentiating bonding from bondage
"Religion comes from the Latin verb "religare" which means "to bind". It's about bonding. […]
The purpose of marriage is to teach you the difference between bonding and bondage. Bonding is wonderful, bondage is terrible.
They both sound alike, but they are very different. That's true for religion, too. The bonding that religion is about is the bonding between spirits, yours and the spirit of your beloved. Unless you have a spiritual view of life religion is very difficult for you,
because physical bonding is clumsy, whereas spiritual bonding is very refined and powerful. Love is the bonding of the spirit,
love is the ecstacy of bonding, in fact. What we really live for is spiritual bonding because from that we get the meaning of life.
Love is motivated by compassion [empathy], lust is movitated by envy. Practice your spiritual bonding – distracted by physical
beauty or not."
Audio interview with Father Charles L. Moore (1927-2007) US American Roman Catholic priest, theologian, philosopher, scholar, historian, district attorney, spiritual teacher, modern mystic, Father Charles Moore – Biblical History, presented by the US American talk radio show Coast to Coast AM, host Art Bell (1945-2018) US American founder of C2C, broadcaster, author, recorded 16. November 1999, YouTube film, minute 2:31:36, 3:08:39 duration, posted
24. June 2016

Three stages ✏ ONEness – 1 ✏ 1,000

1+2+3 ✏ ONE
1+10+100 ✏ 1,000
Developmental stages

from FORCE to POWER
from CONTENT to CONTEXT
༺༻ PotencyLoC – Level of Conciousness Domain Orientation Qualities
1 1 LoC 1-199
Animalistic
Mentation
Body
Ego
Force
Causation
Left brain
ContentLinear, literal,
Tribal, haptic, simplistic,
materialistic, mundane
Identification
2 10 LoC 200-499
Humanistic
Reason
Mind
Self & others
Divine Power
CAUSATION
Right brain
Content
plus
context
Objective,
Moral, sophisticated, multifactorial
Identity
3 100 LoC 500-599
Spiritual
Value
Spirit
Selfless
Power / Love
Intention
Etheric brain
and Right brain
Context
plus
content
Subjective,
Loving, abstract, nonlinear,
nonlocal, experiential
Volitional
4ONE
1,000
LoC 600-1,000
Enlightened
Knowingness
Presence
SELF
Power / Love / Peace
Emergence
Etheric brain
ContextEphemeral
Compassionate
Aware witness
Self revealing
Source: ► Dr. David R. Hawkins, predominantly Transcending the Levels of Consciousness. The Stairway to Enlightenment, 2006

 

༺༻Content ↔ ContextEvent ↔ SurroundingsNature ↔ NurtureLegend
1.Content Event:
Self
NATUREPerceived linear ('successive') physical events
2.Proximate field Situation:
Content plus context
NURTUREIn time, place, circumstances, influences, contributing factors, both known and unknown, linear and nonlinear
3.Proximate field Situation:
Context plus content
NURTUREIn time, place, circumstances, influences, contributing factors, both unknown and known, nonlinear and linear
4.Context Absolute–Infinite
SELF
NONLINEAROmnipresent, timeless, awareness of discontinued context, eternal recording of all events (1) and circumstances (2/3).
Inspired by: ► Dr. David R. Hawkins, Truth vs. Falsehood. How to Tell the Difference, S. 45, 2005
See also: ► Scale of consciousness and ► Tables
Siehe auch: ► Vier Entwicklunggsstadien der menschlichen Erfahrung – D. Hawkins

Keys to transcend knots in consciousness locked into the seven chakras

Seven keys to the chakras for releasing the knots in consciousness
Chakra level LoC
Chakra
Knot LoC
Knot
Key
1. Chakra200 Fear of death 1-99Accept the death of the body and the immortality of the soul.
2. Chakra275 Fear of life 100-174Trust in the support of the invisble realm.
3. Chakra275 Pride, separateness 175-199View the ego impersonally.[*] (Activate the witness.)
4. Chakra 505 Individual/collective karma Forgive all betrayal.
5. Chakra 350 Willfulness Not my will but Thy Will shall be done.
6. Chakra 525 Injustice, imbalance Transcend the belief of loss and gain. Adapt equanimity.
7. Chakra 600 Fear of God Accept your divinty.
Source: ► Leslie Temple Thurston, South African American consciousness shifter, spiritual teacher, Brad Laughlin,
Returning to Oneness. The Seven Keys of Ascension, CoreLight Publications, September 2002
See also: ► Transcending

 

[*] The ubiquitous human ego is actually not an "I" at all; it's merely an "it".
Dr. David R. Hawkins, Power vs. Force. The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior,
chapter 24 "Resolution", S. 291, Hay House issue, February 2002

Extending genuine apologies to reestablish trust

Apologizing is a function of self-respect and self-worth.  Brené Brown
[*] Sometimes an apology is an amends, but sometimes an amends is more.
   Sometimes you gotta make shit right.
Making shit right = vulnerability + courage + empathy.
Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.  Brené Brown
Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.  Brené Brown

No apology has meaning if we haven't listened to the hurt party's anger and pain.  Harriet Lerner
Nondefensive listening [to the hurt party] is at the heart of offering a sincere apology.  Harriet Lerner
It is important to understand that some people will never apologize – no matter
   how brilliantly and generously and gracefully you approach them.
  Harriet Lerner22
In order to apologize a person needs to have a big sturdy platform of selfworth to stand on. […]
   Some people […] can’t really let themselves really see the hurt that they've caused because to do so
   would flip them or threaten to flip them into an identity of worthlessness and shame. The non-apolo-
   gizer walks on a tight rope of defensiveness above a huge canyon of low self-esteem.
  Harriet Lerner23

Never apologize, Mister. It's a sign of weakness.  John Wayne, line from the movie She Wore A Yellow Ribbon, 1949
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.  Elton John, song title of the first single from the album Blue Moves, 1976
Never ruin an apology with an excuse.  Attributed to Benjamin Franklin, unsourced
[*] Source: ► Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW (*1965) US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, Graduate College
of Social Work, University of Houston, public speaker, author, Facebook comment, 26. Mai 2016
References featuring Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. harrietlerner.com (*1944) US American clinical psychologist,
feminist, relationship expert, author
Book Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Every Day Hurts, Gerald Duckworth & Company, 12. January 2017
Video presentation Why Won't He Apologize?, presented by TEDxKC Talks, Union Station, 29. April 2016, YouTube film,
    13:02 minutes duration, posted 21. October 2016

 

Researchers at Ohio State University polled over 700 people who confirmed: The most effective apologies contain all six elements. Admitting fault, offering a fix, and giving an explanation are the most important combination of a sincere apology.
The six elements of an effective apology
༺༻ActionWordingRating
1.Expression of regret (remorse)"I'm sorry." "I apologize." 
2.Explanation of what went wrong"This is why I failed to... " Essential
3.Acknowledgment of responsibility"It's my fault." Essential
4.Declaration of repentance"I won't let it happen again." 
5.Offer of repair"I'll make it right. I'll cover the expenses." Essential
6.Request for forgiveness"Please forgive me." Least important part
Source: ► Researchers at Ohio State University Roy J. Lewicki, Beth Polin, Robert B. Lount, An Exploration of the Structure of
Effective Apologies
, presented by the magazine Negotiation and Conflict Management Research (NCMR),
volume 9, issue 2, published online 6. April 2016
See also:Responsibility and ► Recontextualization and ► Forgiveness

 

The five Rs of apology
༺༻ActionLegend
1.RecognitionThe offender understands specifically what he or she did wrong.
2.ResponsibilityThe offender accepts personal responsibility for the injury.
3.RemorseThere is no substitute for the magic words "I'm sorry" or "I apologize."
4.RestitutionThe offender makes the injured party whole or, barring that,
speaks his intention never to offend again.
5.PromiseThe offender reassures his intention not to repeat the offensive or careless behavior.
Source:John Kador, Hungarian US American author, Effective Apology. Mending Fences,
Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust
, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 1. May 2009
Siehe auch: ► Verlorenes Vertrauen durch aufrichtiges Aussöhnen zurückgewinnen

 

An apology is a regretful acknowledgement of an offense or failure.
Genuine apologies keep the focus on one's own actions not on the response and feelings of the offended person.
Choosing the relationship over being right, apologizing is one of the most vulnerable and courageous acts to do.
Apologies have the power to heal humiliations, free the mind from deep-seated guilt,
remove the desire for vengeance, and ultimately restore broken relationships.
Empty ineffective non-apologies include... Genuine effective apologies
⚑ Defensiveness, inability to listen ⚑ Are sincere and direct (naming names)
⚑ Include the word "but" [Justification] ⚑ Do forego the word "but"
⚑ "I'm sorry that you feel that way." ⚑ Acknowledge the previous damaging effect
⚑ "I didn't mean anything by it." ⚑ MAY include an explanation
⚑ "I'm sorry if I offended anyone…" ⚑ MAY present an offering
⚑ "We apologize…" ⚑ Don't ask for forgiveness
⚑ Continue with the hurtful behavior ⚑ Forego the hurtful behavior
Reference: ► Blog article How to write a damn good apology, presented by the stories outlet Medium, Lauren Holliday, 13. July 2016
See also: ► Dignity

 

Entschuldigung
In practice, we should repent rather than have remorse. To repent is not to feel remorse, but to face one's faults, realizing they are faults, and try one's best not to make the same mis-
take again. If one does that, one is already making amends. Remorse is walking into a pit of fire, and repentance is walking out of the pit of fire.
Sheng-yen (1930-2009) Chinese Buddhist monk, religious scholar, mainstream teacher of Chan Buddhism, 57th generational dharma heir of Linji Yixuan in the Linji school, 3rd-generation dharma heir of Hsu Yun, Dharma talk at DDM Chan Meditation Camp, 20. January 1996, reissued in article How To Be Faultless, presented by the US American quarterly magazine Tricycle. The Buddhist Review, winter 2016

By apologizing, the offending party reaffirms his or her commitment to the rules and values implicit in the relation-
ship by saying, in essence, "I really am the person you thought I was." Trust is thus reestablished, making the re-
lationship safe and predictable once again. Such apologies remind us that people can make mistakes and recover
from them, that values once ignored can be reestablished, that relationships once damaged can be healed. We
breathe easier knowing that our original estimation of the offending party was correct after all: Our trust was not
misplaced.
Aaron Lazare (1936-2015) US American professor of psychiatry, chancellor and dean of University of Massa-
chusetts Medical School, Worcester, Massachusetts (1991-2007), author, On Apology, Oxford University Press, New York City,
New York, 1. January 2004

A genuine apology requires a person to acknowledge the offense adequately, express genuine remorse, and
offer appropriate reparations, including a commitment to make changes in the future.
Aaron Lazare (1936-2015)
US American professor of psychiatry, chancellor and dean of University of Massachusetts Medical School, Worcester, Massa-
chusetts (1991-2007), author, On Apology, S. 9, Oxford University Press, New York City, New York, 1. January 2004

 

References:
Book Gary Chapman (*1938) US American, anthropologist, philosopher, Baptist pastor, religious instructor, speaker, author,
     Jennifer Thomas, The Five Languages of Apology, Nan Fang Chu Ban She, paperback, 1. September 2007
Article The 6 elements of an effective apology, as shown by one of the best apology songs ever., presented by the website for
     viral content Upworthy, James Gaines, 22. April 2016
Video presentation by Aaron Lazare (1936-2015) US American professor of psychiatry, chancellor and dean of University of Massa-
     chusetts Medical School, Worcester, Massachusetts (1991-2007), author, Aaron Lazare: On Apology, presented by the public media
     service WGBH Forum Network, Lowell Institute, YouTube film, 1:17:19 duration, posted 27. May 2014
Video presentation by Robert M. Gordon, Ph.D., US American forensic psychologist, psychoanalyst, psychodynamic researcher,
     The power of the apology, presented by TEDxLehighRiver, YouTube film, 16:43 minutes duration, posted 12. November 2014
Video presentation by Gary Chapman (*1938) US American, anthropologist, philosopher, Baptist pastor, religious instructor, speaker,
     author, The Five Languages of Apology, sponsored by Wheaton College, Winston-Salem, North Carolina, 13. November 2013,
     YouTube film, 26:55 minutes duration, posted 24. April 2015
See also: ► Quotes on narcissism – Sam Vaknin

 

Links zum Thema Vertrauen / Trust

Literatur

Literature (engl.)

Book reviews
Sex in the Forbidden Zone – by Peter Rutter, and words on power in therapy, presented by Amanda Williamson, Exeter, Devon, 15. May 2013
Book Review: Sex in the Forbidden Zone By Peter Rutter, presented by the Wordpress site notsobigsociety, Phil Dore, 1. August 2015

► 70% of normal couples have sexual desire problems.
► 40% of couples rarely kiss during sex.
► 87% of couples have no intimacy during sex.

Primary thesis: Oxytocin is a key hormone in the development of moral behavior in man.
► Autistic and psychopathic behavior results from a lack of oxytocin.
► The "bad boy" hormone "testosterone" is necessary for physical and pro-social courage and strength and it increases the impulse
     to take risk and behave badly.
► Republicans produce less oxytocin than Democrats and independents.

Review: The Psychology of Trust in Work and Love. The science of why tit-for-tat isn’t the best strategy for cooperation and why you should hear out your hunches., presented by the free weekly digest Brain Pickings, host Maria Popova (*1984) Bulgarian critic, blogger, writer,
3. February 2014


Externe Weblinks


Dacher Keltner stellt in seinem Buch Born to Be Good ein Menschenbild der Fürsorglichkeit vor. Menschen mit einem relativ hohen Vagusnervtonus haben mehr Freunde und soziale Kontakte, sind hilfsbereit und zeigen viel Mitgefühl. Der Vagusnerv ist mit Rezeptoren verknüpft, die das Vertrauenshormon Oxytocin binden.

Links zum Thema Vertrauen – Quora

Beiträge verfasst von Elfriede Ammann, präsentiert auf der kalifornischen Frage-und-Antwort Webseite Quora DE


External web links (engl.)


Trust is essential to couples and communities and how it can be built


Linkless articles

  • Blog article Bonding Behaviors, presented by the removed website reuniting.info, Marnia Robinson, US American former corporate lawyer, researcher, author on ancient sacred-sex prescriptions, undated
  • Blog article The Big 'O' Isn't Orgasm, presented by the website reuniting.info, Marnia Robinson, US American former corporate lawyer, researcher, author on ancient sacred-sex prescriptions, 23. June 2005

Audio- und Videolinks

Audio and video links (engl.)

The so-called "cuddle hormone", oxytocin, increases generosity and trust. A new study shows it can improve a specific kind of memory.

  • Video interview with Rubin Naiman, Ph.D., US American psychologist, clinical assistant professor of integrative medicine,
    sleep and dream researcher, University of Arizona, teacher, author, The Practice of "Sleeping Together", presented by the
    US American multimedia publishing company Sounds True, Insights at the Edge, host Tami Simon (*1953) US American founder and director of Sounds True, YouTube film, 3:36 minutes duration, posted 1. November 2010
  • Video presentation by John Mordechai Gottman, Ph.D. (*1942) US American psychologist, relationship analyst, researcher
    on marital stability, The Importance of Trust, presented by the Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley, California,
    YouTube film, 5:39 minutes duration, posted 28. October 2011
  • Video presentation by Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW (*1965) US American shame, vulnerability, empathy researcher, Graduate College of Social Work, University of Houston, public speaker, author, Brené Brown: The Anatomy of Trust, presented by the US American TV station Supersoul TV, host Oprah Winfrey (*1954) US American actress, talk show host, billionaire entre-
    preneur, visionary philanthropist, UCLA Campus, Los Angeles, California, minute 17:46, 24:08 minutes duration, posted
    October 2015

Audio and video links (engl.) – Paul Zak

Audios and videos on healing masculinity featuring Paul Zak, Ph.D. (*1962) US American professor of (neuro)economics and neurology, mathematician, oxytocin researcher, Claremont Graduate University, The Center for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS), Southern California, author
TypeOfferingHeadingSponsor ♦
Location ♦ P-Date
Minutes durationRelease date
List ofAudio radio interviewsNeuroeconomics Radio PressroomCenter for Neuroeconomics Studies (CNS) 6. June 2003-December 2010

YouTube videoPresentationLove, Belief, and Neurobiology of AttachmentLoma Linda University Center for Christian Bioethics, Loma Linda, California52:1312. February 2009
YouTube videoPresentationThe 'empathy' gene: oxytocinClaremont Graduate University2:138. December 2009
YouTube videoPresentationValentine's Day TipsClaremont Graduate University1:1011. February 2009
Five ways to enhance oxytocin levels
Vimeo videoPresentationPaul Zak – From Whence Trust Come: Oxytocin and Behavioral EconomicsSkeptics Society Annual Conference 2005, Center for Neuroeconomics Studies29:3028. July 2009
YouTube videoPowerpoint discussionMarkets and the "Molecule of Love"ReasonTV9:462. September 2009
Vimeo videoPresentationMy Big Fat Greek Wedding – Tears, Joy, and OxytocinCenter of Neuroeconomic Studies2:3019. February 2010
The levels of the oxytocin spike at the Wedding vows. Among all the tested guests of a wedding the biggest rise was found in the bride and the mother of the bride. The 'cuddle and monogamy chemical' oxytocin fosters trust, bonding and generosity.
"Maybe the reason we have these weddings is not just because of the emotional contagion – the empathy, the love – but because these emotions are linked to helping maintain the human race."
YouTube videoPresentationThe Science of TrustTEDx Constitution Drive, 201014:3129. May 2011
VideoPresentationSocial Network Your Way to Sexual SatisfactionCenter for Neuroeconomics Studies2:2210. July 2010
Social networking releases the hormone oxytocin, which is associated with love and sexual satisfaction.
AudioInterviewThe Science of TrustMinnesota Public Radio, host Carie Miller39:4113. October 2010
VideoPresentationWhen We're Shown Trust, Our Brains Motivate Us To Be TrustworthyUS American web portal Big Think3:03 9. November 2010
"Those who release more oxytocin when they’re trusted are happier, they report greater satisfaction with life, they have better romantic relationships, they have more friendships, and they have more sex. All that sounds like a pretty good situation to me. So by training your brain to release oxytocin through your behaviors, you can actually improve your life."
YouTube videoPresentationWhy Trust (Or Lack of It) Can Mean Poverty or ProsperityUS American web portal Big Think, host John Cookson, recorded 27. October 20105:2220. June 2011
YouTube videoPresentationNeuroeconomics: In Oxytocin We TrustUS American web portal Big Think3:0329. May 2011
Deleted videoPresentationNeuroethics at NeuroscienceThe Science Network (TSN), co-founding director and host Roger Bingham (*1948) British science communicator, writer, public television producer, recorded 3. January 201148:2115. November 2010
Deleted YouTube videoPresentation27. Paul Zak – Beyond Belief 2008The Science Network (TSN), 200822:283. February 2011
VideoPresentationThe Hormone That Will Revolutionize Your BusinessUS American web portal Big Think2:0324. March 2011
YouTube videoPresentationMoral Markets: Oxytocin, Trade, and Human Nature, Reason Weekend 2011ReasonTV14:1726. April 2011
YouTube videoPresentationPaul Zak (Dr. Love) at Love NightThe Solomon R. Guggenheim Foundation, New York, BMW Lab Programs, 30. September 201121:145. October 2011
Brain science suggests that we are hard-wired for altruism and trust – even among strangers.
The hormone oxytocin affects human interaction with strangers.
VideoPresentationTrust, morality – and oxytocinGlobal TED Talks, recorded in Edinburgh, Scotland, July 201116:351. November 2011
Oxytocin is "the moral molecule": enhancing trust, empathy, and feelings that help build a stable society.
"About half of the sexually abused women don't release oxytocin on stimulus. High stress levels are an oxytocin inhibitor.
Extra doses of testosterone made esp. men more selfish and willing to punish people who behaved immorally."
Minute 11:13
YouTube videoPresentationThe Moral MoleculeAuthors@Google, Mountain View, California,
31. May 2012
46:3519. June 2012
Men are less faithful than women. Altruism ⇔ cold-heartedness. Successful and collapsing businesses
VideoPresentationThe Molecule Behind Effective TeamworkHarvard Business Review (HBR) Blog Network5:3515. June 2012
Oxytocin boosts cooperative behavior.
YouTube videoPresentationThe Moral MoleculeClaremont Graduate University's Peter F. Drucker and Masatoshi Ito Graduate School of Management, host Zachary First57:1914. June 2012
VideoPresentationThe Biology of Good and EvilTEDxTalks Amsterdam, The Netherlands, 201216:047. December 2012

 

Interne Links

Englisch Wiki

Hawkins

 

 

1 Offenbarung 9, 18 (NT)

2 [D]as Leiden, das durch eine schlechte Handlung gesetzt wurde, lässt sich immer noch durch eine rechte Handlung wiedergutmachen, und solche Wiedergutmachung nennt man bekanntlich Sühne. Wie ist es aber dann bestellt, wenn etwas nicht wieder gut zu machen ist, zumindest nicht im Sinne von Sühne, also nicht durch eine rechte Handlung? Dann kommt es nur umso mehr auf die rechte Haltung an, auf die richtige Einstellung, jetzt aber nicht gegenüber dem Leid an sich und als solchem, vielmehr gegenüber der Schuld. Und die rechte Haltung gegenüber der eigenen Schuld ist die Reue. Viktor E. Frankl (1905-1997) österreichischer Psychiater, Psychotherapeut, Neurologe, KZ-Überlebender, Sinnforscher, Begründer der Logotherapie, Autor, Logotherapie und Existenzanalyse. Texte aus sechs Jahrzehnten, S. 131-132, Beltz, 3. Taschenbuchauflage
19. Juli 2010

3 Allgemeine Abneigung gegen Menschen, Misstrauen, Abscheu, Geringschätzung, Hass auf Menschen und die menschliche Natur

4 Published by the US American scientific journal Psychological Review

5 Income and status gap in 23 of the rich developed countries worldwide – Wilkinson und Pickett

6 Stephen Porges, Ph.D., Social Engagement and Attachment, 2003

7 Polyvagal Theory – three phylogenetically ordered neural circuits regulating autonomic nervous system. The newest circuit reflects unique face-heart connections which form a functional "social engagement system" involving an integrated regulation in the brainstem of the striated muscles of the face and head with a mammalian myelinated vagus that proposes older vagal circuitry involved in death feigning and shutting down behaviors that response to life-threat or panic.

8 "Neural substrates underlying fear-evoked freezing: the periaqueductal grey – cerebellar link", presented by the biweekly peer-reviewed scientific journal The Journal of Physiology, 2014

9 Stephen Porges, Ph.D., Polyvagal Theory

10 Deleted scholarly article by Margaret Heffernan, Women stereotypes at work, [Pretty geisha, Working invisible woman, Respected bitch, Successful guy], BNETvideo, 2. August 2010

11 First studied and published by Shelley Elizabeth Taylor, Ph.D. (*1946) US American professor of psychology, University of California, Los Angeles, 2000
Recent study by researchers: Angeliki Theodoridou, Angela C. Rowea, Ian S. Penton-Voaka, Peter J. Rogers, Oxytocin and social perception. Oxytocin increases perceived facial trustworthiness and attractiveness, department of experimental psychology, University of Bristol, United Kingdom, archived by the free MEDLINE database PubMed, accepted 23. March 2009, June 2009

12 Presented by the Psychological Review

13 Quotes on Karezza

14 This spiritual-energery etheric brain identifies with context rather than content. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Discovery of the Presence of God. Devotional Nonduality, S. 115, 2007

15 The etheric brain activates the energy within the neurons. Consciousness creates neuronal activity. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona seminar unnamed, date unknown

16 Spiritual intention changes the brain's physiology – spiritually oriented people experience things differently than "ordinary" people. The change occurs in the prefrontal cortex, creating an "etheric brain." (Calibrated as a fact.) [The etheric brain does not exist in individuals below 200 LoC.] The shift above LoC 200 speeds up karma. […] Rapid pathway bypasses the emotional centers of the brain. The majority of Homo sapiens do not have an etheric brain. The new species of individuals calibrating over 200 is "homo spiritus." Under 200, the left brain is dominant and individuals are more prone to disease, depression, addiction, and rage. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Sedona Seminar Realization of the Self and the "I", 3 DVD set, 1. November 2003

17 One profound consequence of the emergence of an etheric brain is its survival of a physical death and the accumulation of karmic patterns. Dr. David R. Hawkins, Truth vs. Falsehood. How to Tell the Difference, S. 68, 2005

18 Arthur Aron, Helen Fisher, Debra J. Mashek, Greg Strong, Haifang Li, and Lucy L. Brown, "Reward, Motivation, and Emotion Systems Associated With Early-Stage Intense Romantic Love", presented by the monthly peer-reviewed scientific journal Journal of Neurophysiology, S. 327-337, volume 94, issue 1, May 2005

19 Four-stroke cycles of generations – Strauss and Howe

20 Genesis 1, 22 (OT)

21 Matthew 5, 48 (NT)

22 Audio interview Why Won't Donald Trump Apologize and More, presented by The Halli Casser-Jayne Show, host Halli Casser-Jayne, minute 40:36, 58:14 minutes duration, posted 11. January 2017

23 Video presentation Why Won't He Apologize?, presented by TEDxKC Talks, Union Station, 29. April 2016, YouTube film, minute 10:15 and 10:44,
13:02 minutes duration, posted 21. October 2016

 

Anhand der Skala des Bewusstseins (Gradeinteilung von 1-1000), erarbeitet von Dr. David R. Hawkins, hat Vertrauen einen Bewusstseinswert (BW) von 250+.
Innerhalb von Hawkins' System rangiert das Thema Vertrauen im Bereich der gesellschaftsbildenden Integrität und Neutralität.

 

Letzte Bearbeitung:
21.01.2024 um 11:04 Uhr

Page generated in 1.456 seconds.